created to his disadvantage by children or the friends of the first wife is, we think, execrable. ABOUT STEP-MOTHERS. Step-mothers are spoken against, and sometimes they de serve it; but we think they must be superhuman to escape criticism, surrounded as they generally are by such ungenerous critics. Step-mothers, we repeat, are spoken against, and we may be permitted to remark that we know not a few instances in which a second mother in all respects was a better mother to the step-children than their own would have been. The step-mother had a better temper, a better judgment, more affection, more wisdom, and more everything that the child needed; and for that child the day its father brought a stepmother into his house was the dawn of light, joy, and prosperity. We approve of good second marriages—those which are properly adjusted by a wise selection of partners—and we approve of no other kind for first marriages. We think there is no law of nature against second marriages, and we regard that man or woman as supremely narrow-minded and selfish who exacts a promise on the dying bed from the survivor never again to marry. There are quite as many men and women who, on their death-bed, counsel the survivor to marry, and, in certain instances, even kindly suggest to one to take their place. Those who inveigh against second marriages generally have that exclusiveness of love and that element of jealousy which teaches them that in case of their death it would be a satisfactory reflection, that the survivor would never receive the love or caresses of any other person. We think an hour in the other life would obliterate such an idea. Widowers, especially, often show great folly and inconsistency in hastily or inconsiderately paying addresses and marrying again; but such folly of individuals does not invalidate the great law of love, and can not be properly brought forward as an argument against second marriages. XI. Jealousy Its Cause and Eure. T Oh, beware, my lord, of jealousy; It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock It is jealousy's peculiar nature To swell small things to great; nay, out of naught LOVE AND JEALOUSY. HE passion of love gives rise to the feeling most commonly recognized as jealousy. In fact, it has passed into a proverb, "that true love and jealousy are near akin," and that no one thoroughly possessed by the tender passion can look calmly on when others seek the favor and society of the person beloved. We have known persons of superior intellect and discrimination exhibit extravagant emotion, and say and do improper things, when they supposed themselves superseded, or likely to be, in the affections of those for whom they had conceived a strong attachment. Shakspeare, in the play of Othello, has wrought out in all the force and fire of heated words this most potent sort of jealousy. In the third act, Iago is represented as saying, "But, oh, what damned minutes tells he o'er, Who dotes, yet doubts; suspects, yet fondly loves." In love affairs it is probable that every person is capable of pressing the feeling. Many may be unconscious of it, because the circumstances for calling it out do not exist in their case. They love but once, and that love being kindly and cordially reciprocated, and there being no rivalry before the conjugal union, and no conduct on the part of the companion after marriage calculated to awaken jealousy, they carry the jealous element latent through life, with the self-congratulation, "I have no jealousy in my nature." But they only need a word or a look on the part of the companion calculated to show a preference for another, to arouse in themselves the sleeping giant-jealousy. TERRIBLE EFFECTS OF JEALOUSY. How many happy homes have been broken up by this influence! The suspicions of jealousy once entertained by one of those whom the rites of the Church linked into what on their memorable wedding-day they deemed a happy union, engender feelings whose cold impress remains in the heart long after they have been found altogether baseless. The deeply enamored maiden eyes with keen distrust and pain the polite attentions given by the lord of her heart to another; and the passionate lover raves and reproaches the star of his affections if she carelessly smile on a gentleman acquaintance. An honest and considerate husband or wife of true religious tendencies will give no occasion for jealousy. The low, lewd, and weak are not expected to regulate themselves; and hence the jail, the prison, and the asylum. Is the reader afflicted with the infirmity of jealousy? Let him pray God to be delivered. Does the young wife feel neglected, and is she fearing her husband's interests and attentions are being improperly shared by another? Let her also seek consolation in prayer, and together let them pray to be delivered from temptation. The more intense the feeling experienced by one, the greater the number of faculties employed in its agitation; so the greater the number of faculties employed in forming an attachment, the more painful the feelings when that attachment is interrupted. Hence, also, the jealousy among human beings in consequence of real or imaginary unfaithfulness, or the fear of rivalry in love matters, is intense and powerful in proportion to the extent of the mental organization unfortu nately affected by it. An animal or a man in whom only Amativeness is offended, is appeased when the rival is vanquished or so removed as not to offer further opposition. Moreover, he has no unkind feeling toward his mate. With higher natures, in whom Conjugality, or Union for Life, together with Friendship, the intellectual, the moral, and esthetic faculties take part in the make-up of the love-emotion, we find the jealousy of any infidelity or disturbance of the love-relation quick, sensitive, intense, and powerful. Shakspeare says MORBID JEALOUSY. "Trifles light as air Are to the jealous confirmations strong As proofs of holy writ." This is when jealousy has become a morbid condition of the mind which distorts appearances, creates its own occasions, and would suspect vestal purity. This is a selfish and suspicious action of the love-feelings, and is an exceedingly unfortunate mental condition, whether it come by inheritance in whole or in part of a diseased or badly constituted organization; whether it be induced by ill health, or provoked by improper social culture or social misadaptation. Novel-reading and the drama seem to excite the imaginative elements of human nature, especially in connection with the social feelings, thereby tending to promote in mankind the spirit of jealousy, for it is among the classes most devoted to these that this passion in some of its varied forms seems to be most frequently and painfully manifested. When Amativeness, Conjugality, and Friendship have become intensely excited in jealousy, and Combativeness and Destructiveness, sympathizing as they do, also become morbid, there sometimes occurs a species of madness which results in the murder of the real or imaginary offender, followed by the suicide of the infatuated victim of jealousy. HOW TO CURE JEALOUSY. In all these forms of jealousy, it will be seen that the moral and religious elements of our nature seem to have taken no part. We are quite certain that none of the moral faculties enter into the production of jealousy. The conduct that awakens jealousy may be, and is, condemned by the moral nature of the victim; but that conduct is alike condemned by the moral feelings of all that behold it, though they are not made jealous or otherwise personally affected by it. It would seem, then, that the only sure remedy for jealousy is to be found in the strength and right action of the moral and religious nature. Those who are inclined to give occasion for jealousy are certainly under the domination of the carnal elements of their being; and those also who are prone to be jealous—they are idolaters, and “love the creature more than the Creator ”are not sufficiently imbued with a sense of God's presence and of the glory and reality of the higher life. They are too much "of the earth, earthy," and should seek to secure the subordination of their animal and selfish feelings by temperate and careful living, thus mitigating the feverish and abnormal state of the nervous system. They should endeavor to strengthen the action and influence of the moral feelings by the most diligent religious culture. Few persons are aware what a powerful aid to the subduing of animal and malign passions is the sincere and earnest use of the devotional part of our nature. He who with child-like faith can look up to his Father in heaven, and in humble trust and confidence commit his interests, his all, in this life and the next, to Him, will gain such moral strength, and such clearness of spiritual vision, as to see, in the light of the higher life, that all the jealousies of this world, whether well or ill founded, are but the fruit of selfish impulses, in most cases perverted, and that they are as unchristian as they are productive of unhappiness. |