THE SPIRIT OF CONTRADICTION. A TALE. THE very silliest things in life Create the most material strife. Why you grow warm-and you are hot. Friend JERKIN had an income clear, Too honest to be much refin'd, His wife was of another mould; Her age was neither young nor old; Her features strong, but somewhat plain; Her temper neither new nor strange, What she most hated was conviction, A charming housewise ne'ertheless; - Tell me a thing she could not dress, No-Mistress JERKIN was her name. She could harangue with wond'rous grace On gowns and mobs, and caps and lace; But tho' she ne'er adorn'd his brows, She had a vast contempt for spouse, As being one who took no pride, And was a deal too countrified. Such were our couple, man and wife; Such were their means and ways of life. Once on a time, the season fair He kill'd his birds, and brought them home. Who was it shot them, you or I? They're starlings-thrushes-zounds you lie ; Peace soon ensued, and all was well: Against these arguments of weight. A year roll'd on in perfect ease, To wrangle so about a bird; A bird not worth a single rush A starling-no, my love, a thrush, You're wrong, good husband-wife, you lie. Again the self-same wrangle rose, Again the lye, again the blows. Thus every year (true man and wife) Thus every year their quarrel ends, They argue, fight, and buss, and friends; Tis starling, thrush, and thrush and starling; You dog, you b-; my dear, my darling. THE TEMPLE OF FAVOUR.. THO' pilot in the ship no more, The Shepherd who survey'd the deep, When all it's tempests were asleep, Dreamt not of danger; glad was he To sell his flock, and put to sea. The consequence has Æsop told, He lost his venture, sheep, and gold.. So fares it with us Sons of Rhyme, From doggrel wit, to wit sublime; On ink's calm ocean all seems clear, No sands affright, no rocks appear ;. No lightnings blast, no thunders roar;: No surges lash the peaceful shore; Till, all too vent'rous from the land, The tempests dash us on the strand :. |