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The very silliest things in life
Friend JERKIN had an income clear,
His wife was of another mould;
Her features strong, but somewhat plain;
A charming housewise ne'ertheless;
Tell me a thing she could not dress,
No-Mistress JERKIN was her name.
She could harangue with wond'rous grace On
gowns. and mobs, and caps and lace;
Once on a time, the season fair For exercise and chearful air, It happen'd in his morning's roam, He kill'd his birds, and brought them home. - Here, CICELY, take away my gun How shall we have these starlings done? Done! what my love? Your wits are wild; Starlings, my dear; they're thrushes child. Nay now but look, consider, wife, They're starlings-No-upon my life: Sure I can judge as well as you, I know a thrush and starling too. Who was it shot them, you or I ? They're starlings--thrushes-zounds you lie; Pray, Sir, take back your dirty word, I scorn your language as your bird ; It ought to make a husband blush, To treat a wife so 'bout a thrush. . Thrush, Cicely !-Yes--a starling-No, The lie again, and then a blow. Blows carry strong and quick conviction, And mar the pow’rs of contradiction..
Peace soon ensued, and all was well :
rolld on in perfect ease, 'Twas as you like, and what you please, 'Till in it's course and order due, Came March the twentieth, fifty two. Quoth Cicely, this is charming life, No tumults now, no blow, no strife. What fools we were this day last year! Lord, how you beat me then, my dear!
Sure it was idle and absurd To wrangle so about a bird ; A bird not worth a single rushA starling---no, my love, a thrush, That I'll maintain--that I'll deny. - You're wrong, good husband-wife, you lie.
Again the self-same wrangle rose, Again the lye, again the blows. Thus every year (true man and wife) Ensues the same domestic strife, Thus every year their quarrel ends, They argue, fight, and buss, and friends ; Tis starling, thrush, and thrush and starling; You dog, you b--; my dear, my darling.
TEMPLE OF FAVOUR..
Tho' pilot in the ship no more,
The Shepherd who survey'd'the deep,
has Æsop told,