Enter SPEED. Speed. Sir Proteus, save you: Saw you my master? Pro. But now he parted hence, to embark for Milan. Speed. Twenty to one then, he is shipp'd already; And I have played the sheep?, in losing him. Pro. Indeed a sheep doth very often stray, An if the shepherd be awhile away. Speed. You conclude that my master is a shepherd then, and I a sheep? Pro. I do. Speed. Why then, my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep. Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep. Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd. Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. Pro. It shall go hard, but I'll prove it by another. Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not me: therefore I am no sheep. wages Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for follows not thee: therefore thou art a sheep. Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa. Pro. But dost thou hear! gav'st thou my letter to Julia? Speed. Ay, sir; I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced mutton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost mutton, nothing for my labour. 7 In Warwickshire, and some other counties, a sheep is pronounced a ship. Without this explanation the jest, such as it is, might escape the reader. 8 Cotgrave explains laced mutton, une garce, putain, fille de joye. It was so established a term for a courtezan, that a lane in Clerkenwell, much frequented by loose women, is said to have been thence called Mutton Lane. Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of muttons. Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her. Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound you. Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter. Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pinfold. Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over, "Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover. Pro. But what said she? did she nod 9. Speed. I. Pro. Nod, I! why, that's noddy. [SPEED nods. Speed. You mistook, sir? I say she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I. Pro. And that set together is-noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains. Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter. Speed. Well, I perceive I must be fain to bear with you. Pro. Why, sir, how do you bear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains. Pro. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. 9 These words were supplied by Theobald to introduce what follows. In Speed's answer, the old spelling of the affirmative particle has been retained; otherwise the conceit would be unintelligible. Noddy was a game at cards. Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: What said she? Speed. Open your purse, that the money and the matter may be both at once delivered. Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: What said she? Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. Pro. Why? Could'st thou perceive so much from her? Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: And being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear she'll prove as hard to you in telling your mind. Give her no token but stones, for she's as hard as steel. Pro. What, said she nothing? Speed. No, not so much as-take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. Pro. Go, go, begone, to save your ship from wreck; Which cannot perish, having thee aboard, Being destined to a drier death on shore:I must go send some better messenger; I fear my Julia would not deign my lines, Receiving them from such a worthless post. [Exeunt. 10 Testens, or (as we now commonly call them, testers), from a head that was upon them, were coined in 1542. Sir H. Spelman says they were a French coin of the value of 18d.; and he does not know but that they might have gone for as much in England. They were afterward reduced to 12d., 9d., and finally, to sixpence. The same. SCENE II. Garden of Julia's House. Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone, Would'st thou then counsel me to fall in love? Luc. Ay, madam; so you stumble not unheedfully. Jul. Of all the fair resort of gentlemen, That every day with parle1 encounter me, In thy opinion, which is worthiest love? Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll show my mind According to my shallow simple skill. Jul. What think'st thou of the fair Sir Eglamour? Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine; But, were I you, he never should be mine. Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? Luc. Well of his wealth; but of himself, so, so. Jul. What think'st thou of the gentle Proteus? Luc. Lord, lord! to see what folly reigns in us! Jul. How now! what means this passion at his name? Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing shame, That I, unworthy body as I am, Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen. Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest? Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason; I think him so, because I think him so. 1 Parle is talk. 2 To censure, in Shakspeare's time, generally signified to give one's judgment or opinion. Thus in The Winter's Tale, Act. ii. Sc. 1: Jul. And would'st thou have me cast my love on him? Luc. Ay, if you thought your love not cast away. Luc. paper, madam. That the contents will show. Luc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from Proteus: He would have given it you, but I, being in the way, Luc. To plead for love deserves more fee than hate, Luc. 5 That you may ruminate. [Exit. Jul. And yet, I would I had o'erlook'd the letter. It were a shame to call her back again, And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. 3 Fire is here pronounced as a dissyllable. 4 A matchmaker. It was sometimes used for a procuress. 5 First folio, ye. |