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Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections !) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page.
Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pounds ? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny: Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is good gifts.
Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there?
Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
Enter PAGE. Page. Who's there?
Eva. Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow: and here young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings.
Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow.
Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you: Much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ili killed :- How doth good mistress Page ?- and I love you always with my heart, la; with my heart.
Page. Sir, I thank you.
Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.
Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say, he was outrun on Cotsale. Page. It could not be judged, sir. Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
Shal. That he will not;—'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: _'Tis a good dog.
Page. A cur, sir.
Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: Can there be more said ? he is good, and fair.—Is Sir John Falstaff here?
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.
Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
Shal. If it be confessed, it is not redressed; is not that so, master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath; - at a word, he hath ; - believe me; - Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wronged.
Page. Here comes Sir John. Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, Nym, and PISTOL.
Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king?
Šhal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.
Fal. But not kissed your keeper's daughter ? Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. Fal. I will answer it straight;-I have done all this;That is now answered.
Shal. The Council shall know this.
Fal. *Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel : you'll be laughed at.
Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.- Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me?
Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
Bar. You Banbury cheese!
Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's iny humor.
Slen. Where's Simple, my man ? can you tell, cousin ?
Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand : that is master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.
Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my notebook; and we will afterwards ’ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
Eva. The tevil and his tam ! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations.
Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse ?
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and twopence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
Slen. By these gloves, then, 'twas he.
Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humors: I will say, marry, trap, with you, if you run the nut-hooks humor on me; that is the very note of it.
Slen. By this hat, then, he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.
Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ?
Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
Eva. It is his five senses : fie, what the ignorance is !
Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and so conclusions passed the careires.
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then, too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: If I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
Eva. Šo Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen, you hear it. Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD
and MISTRESS PAGE following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford ?
Fai. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.
[kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome : - Come, we have à hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHAL., SLENDER, and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my book Songs and Sonnets here:
Enter SIMPLE. How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you?
Sim. Book of Riddles ! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas ?
Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry this, coz: There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here; - Do you understand me?
Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.
Shal. Nay, but understand me.
Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender; I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray yoụ, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
Èva. But this is not the question ; the question is concerning your marriage.
Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir.
Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reason.
I able demands.
Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command
to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the mouth; Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid ?
Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her ?
Slen. I hope, sir, - I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.
Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.
Shal. That you must : Will you, upon good dowry, marry her ?
Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid ?
Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save the faul is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely; - his meaning is good.
Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Re-enter ANNE PAGE. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne: -Would I were young for your sake, mistress Anne!
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne!
Eva. Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. EVANS. Anne. Will’t please your worship to come in, sir ? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth : Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man: I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead : But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.