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not increase the common happiness of his majesty's subjects, and that therefore the trouble and expense of transporting them is upon the whole altogether useless.

That your petitioner, nerertheless, observes with extreme concern, in the votes of Friday last, that leave is given to bring in a bill for extending to Scotland the act made in the fourth year of the reign of King George the First; whereby the afore. said grievances are, as he understands, to be greatly increased, by allowing Scotland also to transport its felons to America.

Your petitioner, therefore, humbly prays, in behalf of Pennsylvania, and the other plantations in America, that the house would take the premises into consideration, and in their great wisdom and goodness repeal all acts, and clauses of acts, for transporting of felons; or if this may not at present be done, that they would at least reject the proposed bill for extendiug the said acts to Scot. land; or if it be thought fit to allow of such extension, that then the said extension may be carried farther, and the plantations be also, by an equitable clause in the same bill, permitted to transport their felons to Scotland.

And your petitioner, as in duty bound, shall pray, &c.

The petition, I am informed, was not received, and the act passed.

On second thoughts, I am of opinion, that besides employing our own vessels, as above proposed, every English ship arriving in our ports with goods for sale should be obliged to give bond, before she is permitted to trade, engaging that she will carry back to Britain one felon for every fifty tons of her þurthen. Thus we shall not only discharge sooner our debts, but furnish our old friends with the means of better peopling, and with more expedition, their promising new colony of Botany Bay.

I am yours, &c.

A. Z.



Britain. Sister of Spain, I have a favour to ask of you. My subjects in America are disobedient, and I am about to chastise them; I beg you will not furnish them with any arms or ammunition.

Spain. Have you forgotten, then, that when my subjects in the Low Countries rebelled against me, you not only furnished them with military stores, but joined them with an army and a fleet? I wonder how you can have the impudence to ask such a favour of me, or the folly to expect it!

Britain. You, wy dear sister France, will surely not refuse me this favour.

France. Did you not assist my rebel Huguenot's with a fleet and an army at Rochelle? And have you not lately aided privately my rebel subjects in

.• A political squib, written by Dr. Franklin, shortly after his arrival in France as commissioner plenipotentiary from the United States of America.

Corsica ? And do you not at this instant keep their chief pensioned and ready to head a fresh revolt there, whenever you can find or make an opportunity? Dear sister, you must be a little silly.

Britain. Honest Holland ! you see it is remem. bered that I was once your friend; you will there. fore be mine on this occasion. I know, indeed, you are accustomed to smuggle with those rebels of mine. I will wink at that; sell them as inuch tea as you please to enervate the rascals, since they will not take it of me; but for God's sake don't supply them with any arms!

Holland. 'Tis true you assisted me against Philip, my tyrant of Spain; but have I not since assisted you against one of your tyrants,* and enabled you to expel him ? Surely that account, as we mer? chants say, is balanced, and I am nothing in your debt: I have, indeed, some complaints against you, for endeavouring to starve me by your navigation acts; but being peaceably disposed, I do not quarrel with you for that. I shall only go on quietly with my own business. Trade is my profession; 'tis all I have to subsist on. And let me tell you, I should make no scruple (on the prospect of a good market for that commodity) even to send my ships to hell, and supply the devil with brimstone; for you must know I can ensure in London against the burning of my sails.

America to Britain. Why you old blood-thirsty bully! you who have been every where vaunting your own prowess, and defaming the Americans as

• James the Second.

poltroons! you who have boasted of being able to march over all their bellies with a single regiment: you who by fraud have possessed yourself of their strongest fortress, and all the arms they had stored up in it! you who have a disciplined army in their country entrenched to the teeth, and provided with every thiug! Do you run about begging all Europe not to supply these poor people with a little powder and shot? Do you mean then to fall upon them naked and unarmed, and butcher them in cold blood ? Is this your courage ? is this your magnanimity?

Britair. Oh! you wicked--Whig-presbyterian

serpent! have you the impudence to appear before me after all your disobedience? Surrender immediately all your liberties and properties into my hands, or I will cut you to pieces. Was it for this that I planted your country at so great an expense ? that I protected you in your infancy, and defended you against all your enemies?

America. I shall not surrender my liberty and property but with my life. It is not true that my country was planted at your expense : your own records * refute that falsehood to your face. Nor

• See the Journals of the House of Commons, 1642, viz.

Die Veneris, Martii 10, 1642. « Whereas the plantations in New England have, by the blessing of Almighty God, had good and prosperous success, without any public charge to this state, and are now likely to prove very happy for the propagation of the Gospel' in those parts, and very beneficial and commodious to this kingdom and nation; the commons now assembled in

did you ever afford me a man or a shilling to defend me against the Indians, the only enemies I had upon my own account. But when you have quarrelled with all Europe, and drawn me with you into all your broils, then you value yourself upon protecting me from the enemies you have made for me. I have no natural cause of difference with Spain, France, or Holland, and yet by turns I have joined with you in wars against them all. You would not suffer me to make or keep a separate peace with any of them, though I might easily have done it to great advantage. Does your protecting me in those wars give you a right to fleece me? - If so, as I fought for you, as well as you for me, it gives me a proportionable right to fleece you. What think you of an American law to make a monopoly of you and your commerce, as you have done by your laws, of me and mine? Content yourself with

parliament do, for the better advancement of those plantations, and the encouragement of the planters to proceed in their undertaking, ordain that all merchandises and goods that by any merchant, or other person or persons whatsoever, shall be exported out of this kingdom of England into New England, to be spent, used, or employed there; or being of the growth of that kingdom, shall be from thence imported hither, or shall be laden or put on board in any ship or vessel for necessaries in passing to and fro; and all and every the owner or owners thereof, shall be freed and discharged of and from paying and yielding any custom, subsidy, taxation, imposition, or other duty for the same, either inward or outward, either in this kingdom or New England, or in any port, haven, creek, or other place whatsoever, until the house of commons shall take farther order therein to the contrary. And all and singu. lar customers, &c. are to observe this order."

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