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Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed.
Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room and bound. My neice is already in the belief that he's mad ; we may carry it thus for our pleasure and his penance, 'till our very paftime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen; but fee, but fee.
Enter Sir Andrew.
Fab. More matter for a May morning.
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fab. Is't fo fawcy?
Sir And. Ay, is't? I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Give me. [Sir Toby reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.
Fab. Good and valiant.
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind why I do call thee fo; for I will fhew thee no reason for't. Fab. A good note; That keeps you from the blow of
Sir To. Thou com'ft to the Lady Olivia, and in my fight She uses thee kindly; but thou lieft in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good fenfe-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to kill me
Sir To. Thou kill' ft me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o'th' windy fide of the law : good.
Sir To. Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our fouls: he may have mercy upon mine, but my hope is better, and fo look to thyself. Thy friend as thou ufeft him, and thy fworn enemy, Andrew Ague cheek.
Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot : I'll give't him.
Mar. You may have very fit occafion for't: he is now in fome commerce with my lady, and will by-andby depart.
Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the orchard like a bum-bailiff; fo foon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawst, swear horribly; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a fwaggering accent fharply twang'd off. gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earn'd him. Away.
Sir And. Nay, let me alone for fwearing.
Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my neice confirms no lefs; therefore this letter, being fo excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find, that it comes from a clodpole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; fet upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a moft hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuofity. This will fo fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices.
Enter Olivia and Viola.
Fab. Here he comes with your neice; give them way, 'till he take leave, and presently after him.
Sir To. I will meditate the while upon fome horrid meffage for a challenge. [Exeunt.
Oli. I've faid too much unto a heart of stone,
Vio. With the fame 'haviour that your paffion bears, Goes on my master's grief.
Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
Vio. I will acquit you.
Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well. A fiend, like thee, might bear my foul to hell.
Enter Sir Toby and Fabian.
Sir To. Gentleman, God fave thee.
Sir To. That defence thou haft, betake thee to't; of what nature the wrongs are thou haft done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of defpight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end; difmount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy affailant is quick, skilful, and deadly.
Vio. You mistake, Sir; I am fure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man.
Sir To. You'll find it otherwife, I affure you; therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your oppofite hath in him, what youth, ftrength, skill, and wrath can furnish man withal.
Vio. I pray you, Sir, what is he?
Sir To. He is Knight, dubb'd with unhack'd rapier, and on carpet confideration; but he is a devil in private brawl; fouls and bodies hath he divorc'd three; and his incenfement at this moment is fo implacable, that fatiffaction can be none but by pangs of death and fepulcher hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't.
Vio. I will return again into the house, and defire fome conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of fome kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others to taste their valour; belike, this is a man of that quirk.
Sir To. Sir, no his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his defire. Back you fhall not to the house, unless
you undertake that with me, which with as much fafety you might anfwer him; therefore on, or ftrip your fword ftark naked; for meddle you muft, that's certain, or forfwear to wear iron about you.
Vio. This is as uncivil, as ftrange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the Knight what my offence to him is: it is fomething of my negli gence, nothing of my purpose.
Sir To. I will do fo. Signior Fabian, ftay you by this gentleman 'till my return. [Exit Sir Toby. Vio. Pray you, Sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know, the Knight is incens'd against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumftance more.
Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?
Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise to read him by his form, as you are like to find in the proof of his valour. He is, indeed, Sir, the moft skilful, bloody, and fatal oppofite that you could poffibly have found in any part of Illyria: will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can.
Vio. I fhall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that had rather go with Sir Prieft than Sir Knight: I care not who knows fo much of my mettle. [Exeunt.
Enter Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew.
Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not feen fuch a virago I had a pass with him, rapier, fcabbard and all; and he gives me the ftuck in with fuch a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as furely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They fay, he has been fencer to the Sophy.
Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified : Fabian can fcarce hold him yonder.
Sir And. Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant, and fo cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damn'd ere I'd have challeng'd him. Let him let the matter flip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
Sir To. I'll make the motion; ftand here, make a good fhew on't;- This fhall end without the perdition of fouls; marry, I'll ride your horfe as well as I ride you. [Afide.
Enter Fabian and Viola.
I have his horse to take up the quarrel; I have perfuaded him, the youth's a devil. [To Fabian. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.
Sir To. There's no remedy, Sir, he will fight with you for's oath fake: marry, he had better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds That now scarce to be worth talking of; therefore draw for the fupportance of his vow, he protefts he will not hurt you.
Vio. Pray God defend me! a little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.
Fab. Give ground, if you fee him furious.
Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will for his honour's fake have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it; but he has promis'd me, as he is a gentleman and a foldier, he will not hurt you. Come on, to't. [They draw. Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath ! Enter Anthonio.
Vio. I do affure you, 'tis against my will.
you offend him, I for him defie you. Sir To. You, Sir? Why, what are you? Ant. One, Sir, that for his love dares yet do more Than you have heard him brag to you he will.
Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon.
Vio. Pray, Sir, put your fword up if you please.
[To Sir Andrew.