to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas? my cousin Shallow. [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man.-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead; but what though? yet live like a poor gentleman born. Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable: if it they will not sit, till you come. be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender. I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. Slen. No, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the question: the question is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Eva. Marry, is it, the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands. Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir, I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do, is to pleasure you, coz. love the maid? Can you Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, " marry her," I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fault is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is according to our meaning, resolutely. His meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. I Anne. I may not go in without your worship: Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, (three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes,) and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think, there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier : let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow.-Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive. [Exit BARDOLPH. Pist. O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink; is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unkilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey the wise it call. Steal? foh! a fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch, I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, "I am sir John Falstaff's." Pist. He hath studied her will, and translated her will; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain, and “ To her, boy," say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious œiliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Fal. O she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning glass. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me: they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour: here, take the humour-letter. I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to ROBIN,] bear you these letters tightly: Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.- Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, and fullam holds, And high and low beguile the rich and poor. Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, Base Phrygian Turk. Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her star. Nym. With both the humours, I: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. His dove will prove, his gold will hold, Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous; that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. CAIUS's House. Enter Mrs. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What, John Rugby!-I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience, and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch. [Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way, but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master? Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? Sim. No, forsooth; he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you?-O! I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait. Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long.What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home :-" and down, down, adown-a," &c. [Sings. Enter Doctor CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside.] I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour,-la grande affaire. Quick. Is it this, sir? Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; dépêche, quickly.-Vere is dat knave Rugby? Quick. What, John Rugby! John! Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby; come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court. Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long,-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I will not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. [Aside.] Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?— Villainy! larron! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier! Quick. Good master, be content. Cuius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall the honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh. Caius. Vell. Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to- Caius. Peace-a your tongue!-Speak-a your tale. Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a littel-a while. [Writes. Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so loud, and so melancholy.-But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master, I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself; Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one body's hand. Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find it a great charge and to be up early and down late ;— but notwithstanding, to tell you in your ear, (I would have no words of it,) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind; that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape, give-a dis letter to sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make.-You may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I vill cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit SIMPLE. Quick. Alas! he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me, dat I shall have Anne Page for myself?— By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine Host of de Jarretière to measure our weapon. By gar, I vill myself have Anne Page. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good year! Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me.-By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door.-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY. Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you. Enter FENTON. Fent. How now, good woman! how dost thou? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, think'st thou? Shall I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you.-Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale.-Good faith, it is such another Nan;-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread;-we had an hour's talk of that wart.-I shall never laugh but in that maid's company; ;-but, indeed, she is given too much to allicholly and musing. But for you,— well, go to. |