"The Lie Direct"

direct application of harsh language to you had you not known that the statement, as stated in your letter, was not correct had it not taken place in the same house where you then were had not Mr. Dickinson been applied to by me to bring you forward when your name was mentioned, and he declined—had I not the next morning had a conversation with you on the same subject, and, lastly, did not your letter hold forth a threat of "proper notice," I should give your letter a direct answer. Let me, sir, observe one thing: that I never wantonly sport with the feelings of innocence, nor am I ever awed into measures. If incautiously I inflict a wound, I always hasten to remove it; if offense is taken where none is offered or intended, it gives me no pain. If a tale is listened to many days after the discourse should have taken place, when all parties are under the same roof, I always leave the person to judge of the motives that induced the information, and leave them to draw their own conclusions, and act accordingly. There are certain traits that always accompany the gentleman and man of truth. The moment he hears harsh expressions applied to a friend, he will immediately communicate it, that explanation may take place; when the base poltroon and cowardly tale-bearer will always act in the background. You can apply the latter to Mr. Dickinson, and see which best fits him. I write it for his eye, and the latter I emphatically intend for him. But, sir, it is for you to judge for yourself; draw your own conclusions, and, when your judgment is matured, act accordingly. When the conversation dropt between Mr. Dickinson and myself, I thought it was at an end. As he wishes to blow the coal, I am ready to light it to a blaze, that it may be consumed at once, and finally extinguished. Mr. Dickinson has given you the information, the subject of your letter. In return, and in justice to him, I request you to show him this. I

set out this morning for South-West Point. I will return at a short day, and, at all times, be assured I hold myself answerable for any of my conduct, and should anything herein contained give Mr. Dickinson the spleen, I will furnish him with an anodine as soon as I return. I am, sir, your obedient servant,

ANDREW JACKSON

P.S.There were no notes delivered at the time of making the race, as stated in your letter; nor was the meeting between me and Mr. Dickinson at Mr. Winn's tavern on that subject. The subject of the notes was introduced by Mr. Dickinson as an apology for his conduct, the subject of conversation.

XII

"QUIPS AND CRANKS"

Three whimsical views of the future estate

regard to future bliss, I cannot help imagining,

WITH re

that multitudes of the zealously orthodox of different sects, who at the last day may flock together in hopes of seeing each other damned, will be disappointed, and obliged to rest content with their own salvation.

I

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

AM sure that one of the occupations of lost souls doomed to eternal punishment must be the copying of Jonathan Edwards' sermons forever and forever in just such handwriting as I am now joyfully inflicting on you. What a delightful torture it must be to the hopelessly lost to continually transcribe in this choice chirography the

Eleven in A, B, Ab

special causes, the general grounds, and the absolute justice of their damnation.

GOD

JAMES G. BLAINE

'OD bless these surgeons and dentists! May their good deeds be returned upon them a thousand fold! May they have the felicity, in the next world, to have successful operations performed upon them to all eternity! WASHINGTON IRVING

David Fowler, an Indian convert, recounts his need of a Rib

(To the Rev. Eleazer Wheelock)

I

ONEIDA, June 24. 1765

OND AND REVD SIR.

HOND

I now write you a few Lines just to inform you that I am well at present, and have been so ever since I left your House. Blessed be God for his Goodness to me. I am well contented here as long as I am in such great Business. My Scholars learn very well. I have put eleven into a, b, ab, &c. I have three more that will advance to that place this Week, & some have got to the sixth page. It is ten thousand pities they can't keep together. They are often going about to get their Provision. One of the Chiefs in whose House I keep told me he believed some of the Indians would starve to Death this Summer. Some of them have almost consumed all their Corn already.

I came too late this Spring. I could not put any Thing into the Ground. I hope I shall next year. I believe I

shall persuade all the Men in this Castle, at least the most of them to labour next Year. They begin to see now that they would live better if they cultivated their Lands than they do now by Hunting & Fishing. These Men are the laziest Crew I ever saw in all my Days. Their Women will get up early in the Morning, and be pounding Corn for Breakfast, and they (the men) be sleeping till the Victuals is almost ready, and as soon as the Breakfast is over, the Women take up their axes & Hoes & away to the Fields, and leave their Children with the Men to tend. You may see half a dozen walking about with Children upon their Backs - lazy and sordid Wretches - but they are to be pitied.

I have been miserably off for an Interpreter

I can say

but very little to them. I hope by next spring I shall be my own Interpreter.

It is very hard to live here without the other Bone. I must be obliged to wash & mend my Clothes & cook all my Victuals, & wash all the Things I use, which is exceeding hard. I shan't be able to employ my Vacant hours in improving their Lands as I should do if I had a Cook here.

I received a letter from Mr Kirtland last Sabbath wherein he informs me that the Indians who accompanied him left him with all his heavy pack. He had the most fatiguing Journey this Time he ever had. He designs to come down to get Provision, and if he don't he will eat no Bread till Indian Harvest, and his Meat is merely rotten having no Salt.

May the Blessing of Heaven rest on you.

Your affectionate tho unworthy Pupil

DAVID FOWLER

Picking out a Rib

R

EVEREND SIR

II

CANOWAROHARE, May 13, 1766

I am very sorry I can't write you a Letter which can be seen abroad, because Mr Kirtland is so much hurried to get down but he can give you a proper Idea of my School and my own Affairs. — I believe I may venter to write my secrets to you as I wont to do, since I have so often seen and felt your tender Care and Affections. I have wrote a large Letter to Hannah Pyamphcouh which will either spur her up or knock her in Head. — I therefore ask a Favour as a Child from kind Father or Benefactor, that this Letter may be sent to the Supperscrib'd Place as soon as you get it into your Hands. For I shall be down the 13 or 14 of June and in very great Hast. I must tarry at your House a Week or ten Days the longest to shed my skin, for I am almost nacked now. I want all my Cloaths to be blue and that which is good: The Reason why I want this Letter to get down so soon is that she may have some time to think and dress herself up, & another which is the greatest that I may clear myself from those strong Bonds wherewith I bound myself to her and which could not let me rest Night and Day from the time I left her till I return'd to her again, what I mean about clearing myself is if she denies. If she won't let her Bones be join'd with mine I shall pick out my Rib from your House.

Sir, Dont be angry with me for write [ing] so bold and foolish. I hope you will not expose me - Give my Kind Regards Mrs. Wheelock and Sir Wheelock and to all the Family. Accept much Love and Duty from

Your unworthy Pupil

DAVID FOWLER