Abbildungen der Seite
PDF
EPUB

Esop. So, lady.

Mrs Tatoo. When once she is her own mistress, then comes the pleasure!

Esop. Pray let us here.

Mis Tatoo. She lies in bed all morning, rattles about all day, and sits up all night; she goes every where, and sees every thing; knows every body, and loves no body; ridi- cules her friends, coquets with her lovers, sets 'em together by the ears, tells fibs, makes mischief, buys china, cheats at cards, keeps a pug-dog, and hates the parsons; she laughs much, talks aloud, never blushes, says what she will, does what she will, goes where she will, marries whom she pleases, hates her husband in a month, breaks his heart in four, becomes a widow, slips from her gallants, and begins the world again- -There's a life for you; what do you think

a fine lady now,?

Eso. As I expected-you are very young, lady; and if you are not very careful, your natural pr. pensity to noise and affectation will run you headlong into folly, extravagance, and repentance.

M's Taloo. Wha would you have me do?

Esop. Drink a large quantity of Lethe to the lose of your acquaintance; and do you, Sir, drink another to forget this false step of your wife; for whilst you remember her foll, you can never thoroughly regard her; and whilst you keep good company, lady, as you call it, and follow their example, you can never have a just regard for your husband; so both drink and be happy.

Mrs Tatoo. Well, give it me whilst I am in humour, or I shall certainly change my mind again.'

Esop. Be patient, till the rest of the company drink, and divert yourself, in the mean time, with walking in the grove.

Mrs Tatoo. Well, come along, husband, and keep me in humour, or I shall beat you such an alarm as you never beat in all your life. [Exeunt Mr and Mrs Tatoo,

Enter FRENCHMAN singing.

French. Monsieur, votre serviteur

pourquoi ne re

pondez vous pas ? Je dis que je suis votre serviteurEsop. I don't understand you, Sir

French. Ah le barbare! il ne parle pas Francois-Vat,

Sir, you no speak de French tongue ?

Esop,

Esop. No really, Sir, I am not so polite.

French. En verite; monsieur Esop, you have not much politesse, if one may be judge by your figure and appearance. Esop. Nor you much wisdom, if one may be judge of your head, by the ornaments about it.

French. Qu'est cela donc? Vat you mean to front a man, *Sir?

Esop. No, Sir, 'tis to you I am speaking.

French Vel, Sir, I not a man! vat is you take me for? vat I beast? vat 1 horse! parbleu !

Esop. If you insist upon it, Sir, I would advise you to lay aside your wings and tail, for they undoubtedly eclipse your manhood.

French. Upon my vard, Sir, if you treat a gentilhomme of my rank and qualitee comme ca, depen upon it, I shall be a littel en cavalier vit you.

Esop. Pray, Sir, of what rank and quality are you ?

French. Sir, I am a marquis Francois, j'entents les beaux arts, Sir; I have been an advantuser all ove the varid, and am a present en Angleterre, in Ingland, vere I am more honore and caress den ever I vas in my own countrie, or inteed any vere else

Esop. And pray, Sir, what is your business in England? French. I am arrive dere, Sir, pour polir la pation-de Inglis, sir, have too much a lead in their heels, and too much a tought in deir head; so, Sir, if I can lighten bote, I shall make dem tout a fait Francois, and quite anoder ting. Esop. And pray, Sir, in what particular accomplishments does your merit consist?

French. Sir, I speak de French, j'ai bonne addresse, I dance un minue, I sing des littel chansons, and I have une tolerable assurance; en fin, Sir, my merit consist in one vard―I am foreignere—and entre nous-vile de Englis be so great a fool to love de foreignere better dan demselves, de foreignere vold still be more great a fool, did they not leave deir own countrie, vere dey have noting at all, and come to Inglande, very day want for noting at all, perdieCela -Cela n'est il pas vrai, monsieur Esop? Esop. Well, Sir, what is your business with me? French. Attendez un pue, you shall hear, Sir- -I am in love vit de grande fortune of one Englis lady; and de lady, she be in love with my qualite and bagatelles. Now, Sir, me want twenty or thirty douzains of your vaters, for

fear

fear I be oblige to leave Inglande, before I have fini dis grande affaire.

Esop, Twenty or thirty dozen! for what?

French. For my crediteurs; to make em forget de vay to my logement, and no trouble me for de future.

Esop. What! have you so many creditors!

French. So many! begar I have 'em dans touts les quartiers de la ville, in all parts of de town, faitEsop. Wonderful and surprizing!

French. Vonderful! vat is vonderful

borrow money ?

-dat I should

Esop. No, Sir, that any body should lend it you

French En verite vous vous trompez; you do mistake it, mon ami: if fortune gives me no money, nature gives me des talens; j'ai des talens, monsieur Esop; vech are de same ting-par example; de Englisman have de mo◄ ney, I have de flatterie and bonne addresse; and a little of dat from a French tongue is very good credit and securite for tousand pound eh! bien donc, sal I have dis twen ty or tirty douzaines of your vater? ouy, ou non ? Esop. 'Tis impossible, Sir.

French. Impossible! pourquoi donc ? vy not?

Esop. Because if every fine gentlemen, who owes money, should make the same demand, we should have no water left for our other customers.

French. Que voulez vous que je fasse donc ? Vat most I do den, Sir?

Esop. Marry the lady as soon as you can, pay your debts with part of her portion, drink the water to forget your extravagance, retire with her to your own country, and be a better œconomist for the future.

French. Go to my own contre!je vous demande pardon; I had much rather stay vere I am; I cannot go dere, upon my vard.

Esop. Why not, friend!

French. Entre nous, I had much rather pass for one French marquis in Inglande, keep bonne compagnie, manger des delicatesses, and do no ting at all; dan keep a shop en Provence, couper and frisser les cheveux, and live upon soupe and sallade de rest of my life

Esop. I cannot blame you for your choise; and if other people are so blind not to distinguish the barber from the

fine gentleman, their folly must be their punishment-and you shall take the benefit of the water with them.

French. Monsieur Esop, sans flatterie ou compliments, I am your very humble serviteur-Jan Frisseron en Provence, ou le marquis de Pouville en Angleterre.

[Exit Frenchman. Esop. Shield me and defend me! another fine lady!

Enter Mrs RIOT.

Mrs Riot. A monster! a filthy brute! your watermen are as unpolite upon the Styx as upon the Thames-Stow a lady of fashion with tradesmen and mechanics -Ah! what's this, Serbeerus, or Plutus! (seeing Esop.) am I to be frighted with all the monsters of this internal world. Esop. What is the matter, lady?

Mrs Riot. Every thing is the matter, my spirits are uncompos'd, and every circumstance about me in a perfect dilemma.

Esop. What had disorder'd you thus ?

Mrs Riot. Your filthy boatman, Scarroon there.

Esop. Charon, lady, you mean.

Mrs Riot. And who are you, you ugly creature you? if I see any more of you I shall die with temerity. Esop. The wise think me handsome, madam.

Mrs Riot. I hate the wise; but who are you?

Esop. I am Esop. madam, honour'd this day by Proserpine with the distribution of the waters of Lethe: command me.

Mrs Riot. Shew me to the pump-room then, fellowwhere's the company-I die in solitude.

Esop. What company?

Mrs Riot. The best company, people of fashion! the beau monde! shew me to none of your gloomy souls, who wander about in your groves and streams shew me to glittering balls, enchanting masquerades, ravishing operas, and all the polite enjoyments of Elysian.

No

Esop. This is a language unknown to me, ladysuch fine doings here, and very little good company (as you call it) in Elysium

Mrs Riot. What! no operas! eh! no Elysian then! [Sing's fantastically in Italian.] 'Sfortunato Monticelli! banish'd Elysian, as well as the Hay-Market! Your taste here, I suppose, rises no higher than your Shakespears and

you

your Johnsons: oh you Goats and Vandils! in the name of barbarity take 'em to yourselves, we are tir'd of 'em upon earth-one goes indeed to a Play-house sometimes, because one does not know how else one can kill one's time every body goes, because-all the world's there--but for my part- call Scarroon, and let him tal e me back again, I'll stay no longer here-stupid iminortals!

Esop. You are a happy woman, that have neither cares nor follies to disturb you.

Mrs Riot. Cares! ha! ha! ha! nay, now I must laugh in your ugly face, my dear; what cares, does your wisdom think, can enter into the circle of a fine lady's enjoyments?

Esop. By the account I have just hear'd of a fine lady's life, her very pleasures are both follies and cares; so drink the water, and forget them, madam.

Mrs Riot. Oh gad! that was so like my husband now -forget my foliies! forget the fashion, forget my being, the very quincettence and emptity of a fine lady! the fellow would make me as great a brute as my husband.

Esob. You have an husband then, madam?

Mrs Riot. Yes I think so-an husband and no husband-Come, fetch me some of your water; if I must forget something, I had as good forget him, for he's grown insufferable o' late.

Esop. I thought, madam, you had nothing to complain of

Mrs Riot. One's husband, you know, is almost next to nothing.

Esop. How has he offended you?

Mrs Riot. The man talks of nothing but his money, and my extravagance- —won't remove out of the filthy city, tho' he knows I die for the other end of the town; nor leave off his nasty merchandizing, tho' I've laboured to convince him, he loses money by it. The man was once tolerable enough, and let me have money when I wanted it; but now he's never out of a tavern, and is grown so valiant, that, do you know he has presum'd to contradict me, and refuse me money upon every occasion.

Esop. And all this without any provocation on your side?
Mrs Riot, Laud! how should I provoke him? I seldom

see

« ZurückWeiter »