would soon be undeceived. I do not hold myself accountable, indeed, for all that my various Editors, good easy men, put down in my pages, and often regret, as much as my subscribers, that a great deal is inserted in my sheets, which I should blush, if the colour of my cover permitted, for having published, and which I should not have been sorry to have been whipped for, had I written. But among this load of vapid essays and puerile poetry, many gems are to be found, which redeem my character from the unfounded charge of hopeless and persevering stupidity.

When I was a bachelor, (for there are male and female Magazines,) I recollect the esteem in which I was held by all the thinking and respectable classes in Edinburgh. I was welcomed in every company, and my monthly visits, even at the houses of the great, were uncommonly well received. When I hazarded a joke, (for I once was fond of joking, though my Editors have long since moulded the muscles of my face into an almost imperturbable gravity,) I have seen honest David Hume, worthy man, begin the laugh before he had perused half the passage which contained the jest: so well did he understand how I was to conclude the paragraph, that one might almost say he had written it himself. Then Adam Smith, with whom I long lived in habits of the utmost intimacy, would send for me half a dozen times to the publishers, when I was beyond the time of my usual appearance, and would often postpone his more important studies for the pleasure of perusing my pages, which, mayhap, though I must not reveal secrets, were partly his own. Principal Robertson, too, who was my much esteemed friend, often sat up with me in consultation for hours after the family had retired to rest, and with placid countenance and looks of benignity, partook with me of the feast of reason and the flow of soul." The venerable Blair, Drs Black, Hutton, Gregory, and Cullen, always professed a strong attachment to me; and were I vain, I might boast of the assistance they de rived from me in their researches, and point out in return what they permitted me to publish anonymously for the information of the world. But these times are gone-whether for the

better or not I will not presume to say; but I may be allowed to mention, that there was scarcely a character of celebrity in Scotland during the last century who was not among my contributors, and scarcely one who did not feel his respect for himself increased, by my friendly notices of his progress and his fame.

But the reader may say, "What is all this to the present purpose? Why don't you accommodate yourself to the prevailing taste; and, in place of building your reputation on connections long since dissolved, why do not you show yourself in colours worthy of the friend of Hume, Smith, and Robertson, and at least equal to your younger contemporaries ?"

Gentle Reader, I could scarcely comprise a detailed answer to these queries in less than half a volume. Suffice it to say, that sorrow for the loss of my early supporters-an ill-assorted marriage which was propounded to me by the Edinburgh Magazine, and too easily gone into on my part, attracted, I am sorry to say, more by the pictures which decorated my fair partner, than by more solid accomplishments-editors who did not fall into my humour, or that of the public-and a numerous family, have been the chief causes of my declension, if decline is at all perceptible in my pages. My partner, too, assuming more than becomes her the privi- . leges of a wife, may have been one cause of my not appearing as I ought, and of my sometimes dozing in my elbow chair, trusting to her arrangements, when I should have been

My descendants have been very nu

merous.

I write it,) I had a pretty family for my Before my marriage, (with shame time. The Edinburgh Weekly Magazine, the eldest, died of a decline, as it is termed in Scotland; the Edinburgh Magazine and Review expired of plethora, as the Doctors called it;-others dropt in early age ;-and in a short time I was left alone. My present family, comprising the Farmer's Magazine, the Edinburgh Review, and the Mewith perhaps a little of the sharp features dical Journal, are thriving young men, attributed to the Scots; and there are others, besides, who are still of tender age, but who, I am sorry to say, do not always treat me with the respect due to a father. One of them, in particular, a sad wayward bairn, but I will not trouble the world with my domestic grievances.

thinking and acting for myself. My married readers will understand some thing of this without further comment. My only regret is, that I had the weakness to consent, in a moment of foolish fondness, (which my female readers will easily pardon me for,) to let her put her family name, which is but of yesterday in comparison of mine, before my known and recognized patronymic. My change from the true blue coat of my native land, to the exotic yellow of another country, may be forgiven, as a pardonable compliance with modern taste; and as I judge no man by the colour or cut of his coat, I beg the same indulgence from my readers in behalf of myself.

Reader, It is a maxim of State, that the King can do no wrong, and that all the responsibility of actions performed in his name rests with his advisers. What is good in state policy, is not the reverse when applied to literature, and the same maxim holds with regard to the Scots Magazine. If it be silly-or dull-or trifling or all of these put together, (which I am assured must sometimes happen,) be so good as place its inanity to the debit of the Editor for the time being, and let him answer to his conscience and to you for filling my pages with what is useless and insignificant, when it is perfectly well known I am able to be the bearer of all that is pleasing and instructive. Let him be aware, besides, that my irritated shade may haunt his troubled imagination in dreams, gore him with the extended horn of my native supporters, or lacerate his beard with the spines of my national thistle, if he ever presume to violate in my pages the respect due to the morality or religion of my country, or to the feelings and reputation of its inhabitants.

One thing I take much credit for, and that is, recording those daily occurrences, which, were it not for me, would be talked of for a moment, and then forgotten for ever. If a ferryboat, in a fit of ill-humour, chose to drown its unsuspecting passengers-if a bank of earth or a wall happened to fall down upon a poor workman

Alluding, I conjecture, to the armorial bearings of the Scottish nation-Pro-di-gious! SCRIBL.

whom it found cutting its sides too rudely-if the Evil One took it into his head to stifle a few colliers in a mine for his amusement,t-I never failed to chronicle the melancholy occurrences, and moralize in a becoming manner upon the shortness of life, and the uncertainty of all below the sun.

I am almost the only memorial (except a few scattered grave-stones in the church-yards) of the departed worthies of Scotland; and the births, the advancements, the actions, great and small, of all the burghers of this ancient city, are narrated in my pages with a minuteness and approbation of their conduct, which, if I had appeared in propria persona, might have been the occasion of my being presented with the freedom of my native city. Indeed, I marvel much, that I have not yet had the honour to insert a paragraph recording my citizenship, in terms which should be more honourable to the givers than to the rcceiver. I despair not, however, soon to have the pleasure of inserting something to the following effect: "The Lord Provost, Magistrates, and TownCouncil, have conferred the freedom of Edinburgh in a gold box, of curious workmanship, upon the Scots Magazine, for its faithful record of the rise and progress of this ancient city.”— But a word is enough, philosophers say, to the wise ;-the thing, perhaps, never yet entered the head of a deacon, even at the conclusion of a city feast;-though I feel assured, now I have mentioned the circumstance, my "blushing honours" will not be long withheld.

Of how many worthy magistrates, learned doctors, grave and reverend clergymen, and reputable citizens, whose fame but for me would never have extended beyond the walls of Auld Reekie, have I not noticed the commencement of life and its close! How many masters and misses have I married, before the present generation of masters and misses were dreamt of, let my annual indexes testify. Of how many hundreds of warriors, whose nanies were never heard of beyond the muster-roll of their regi

These and similar accidents, as they are called in vulgar speech, may be considered as palpable instances of the existence of Genii.-SCRIBI..

ments, have I not narrated the exploits, and praised, with the partiality of my country, in terms which have almost exhausted the capabilities of the English language, and which have become models for all future writers! -What grateful support do not I deserve from their posterity, for keeping in eternal remembrance the worth of characters which (though the world hath gone on without them, it seem eth) I recorded as people of whom we should never see the like again!" And, above all, what a triumph is it to the friends of religion, in spite of the reputed profligacy of the age, to find that my obituary is still filled with notices of the best of husbands and wives-the most exemplary parents the most dutiful children and the most devout and sincere Christians!

66

Another thing I take particular me rit for, and which is the more due to me, as it is, in general, so difficult to uphold in these times, and that is, my strict impartiality in politics. I am neither Whig nor Tory, in the modern acceptation of the words, and am equally ready to chronicle the merits or the demerits of either party. Though some times a little biassed by my editors for the time being, I have hitherto squared my principles to a strict neutrality, and preserved my integrity in spite of the temptations and dinners of the one side or the other. It is chiefly through my means, I have the vanity to presume, that difference of opinion in Edinburgh has never been carried beyond the bounds of polite discussion; and though, lately, the more eager of both parties seemed to stretch a little beyond this prescribed limit, which occasioned a few ungenerous pasquinades, yet I was happy to record, that, on the self same day, both parties agreed to digest their opinions with their beef and mutton, and mollify their asperity over a bottle of wine. The talk is not now, after the question has been fairly eaten and drunken, of who are right or who are wrong, but one of much more easy and satisfactory solution, -the merits of the dinners and the quality of the wine. "May all our political differences have a similar termination!" says Charles Oman ;" and

The general opinion respecting the comparative merit of the rival dinners is that the Pitt excelled in songs and wine

so say Messrs Cockburn and Stevenson of the Royal Hotel.

This leads me to notice one very peculiar change in manners which I have observed in my time. Read the Scots Magazine for the first forty years from its commencement, and you will find that public business could be conducted in a very suitable and becom→ ing manner without eating and drinking, and public works be pro jected and carried on, and charities founded and endowed, without the aid of knives and forks or wine-glasses. Writers on pathology, I am aware, have often pointed out the intimate connection between the stomach and the brain-between the magazine for our food and the repository of our thinking apparatus and it is from the knowledge of this fact, I presume, that the present practice has arisen, and that toit all the modern improvements in this city have owed their rise. With what pa triotism one enters into the conception and execution of public works when the belly is full, our empty-stomached ancestors could have no conception; and it is really wonderful, when the matter is candidly considered, how they could have proceeded so far as they have done, either in civilization or government, without the knowledge of this vivifying principle. I am inclined to believe, however, that among the rulers of the country it has been no secret; indeed, it is pretty certain, that, from the earliest times, city corporations have been in the unreserved practice of using this stimulus; and even in this very city, till lately, if I be not misinformed, a poor unhappy criminal could not be executed without the necessary formality of a dinner, called, from that circumstance, the dead check. It would say very little, truly, for one now-a-days, whatever his other pretensions might be, if he could not display his patriotism or his charity by attacking, without fear of consequences, the bœufs and the mou

the Fox in speeches and sobriety. All parties must agree, that the latter had the advantage in meeting under the auspices of a good Omen.-SCRIB.

This meaneth a refection, and was generally taken in a public refectory or tavern. Honest old Daniel! what an important personage wast thou on those occasions! We shall never see beef-steaks again like those prepared by thy hand'!--SCRIB.