and torment. If obscenity is fit conversation only for public stews, it cannot be proper among genteel people; and no person deserves the appellation of a gentleman, who accustoms himself to the behaviour of whoremasters and prostitutes. For it is manners, and not dress, that form that character.

If the definition of true good manners be, That behaviour, which makes a man easy in himself, and easy to all about him; it can never be good manners to be troublesome by an excess of ceremony, by overpressing to eat or drink, or by forcing a favour of any kind, upon those we converse with. Nor can it be said to be consistent with good behaviour, to overdo the complimenting part, so as to border upon insipid flattery; nor does politeness by any means require that we exceed our inclination, or cross our particular taste, in eating and drinking what may be pressed upon us, to our own disgust; much less to the prejudice of our health or temperance.

No one can be long at a loss, as to behaviour, who observes the two following directions, and is in earnest resolved to regulate his conduct upon them, viz. first, That the way to be generally agreeable in conversation, is to show, that one has less at heart the humouring his own inclinations, than those of the company, and that he is not so full of himself as to overlook or despise others; and, secondly, That the grace of behaviour is to be learned only from the imitation of the judicious and polite.

But care must be taken, that your imitation be not so slavish as to strip you of your natural character and behaviour, and disguise you in those of another, which, being assumed, and artificial, will not become you. For nature in russet is more agreeable than affectation in embroidery.

There is nothing that costs less, and gains more friends, than an affable and courteous behaviour. One may always observe, that those, who have been accustomed to the best company, behave with the greatest freedom and good nature. People of figure and real worth, having reason to expect that others will treat them with suitable respect, do not find it necessary to assume any airs of superiority, Whereas, the vain and conceited, who fancy no submission whatever, is equal to their dignity, are ever endeavouring, by a haughty carriage, to keep up that respect in

others, which their want of real merit cannot. But how ill they succeed, is easy to observe, from the universal contempt and disgust such a behaviour meets with among all judicious people.

The truth of the matter is, that the differences between one person and another are, in respect to every circumstance, but that of virtue, so very inconsiderable, as to render any insolent superiority on the one hand, or mean submission on the other, extremely ridiculous; since, according to the elegant expression of Scripture, "Man is but a worm, and the son of man a worm."

Nothing shows a greater abjectness of spirit, than an overbearing temper, appearing in a person's behaviour to inferiors. To insult or abuse those who dare not answer again, is as sure a mark of cowardice, as it would be to attack with a drawn sword a woman or a child. And wherever you see a person given to insult his inferiors, you may assure yourself he will creep to his superiors; for the same baseness of mind will lead him to act the part of a bully to those who cannot resist, and of a coward to those who can. But though servants and other dependants may not have it in their power to retort, in the same style, the injurious usage they received from their superiors, they are sure to be even with them by the contempt they themselves have for them, and the character they spread abroad of them through the world. Upon the whole, the proper behaviour to inferiors is, to treat them with generosity and humanity; but by no means with familiarity on one hand, or insolence on the other.

And if a fiery temper and passionate behaviour are improper to inferiors, they are more so among equals, for this obvious reason, That the only effect of a choleric behaviour on your equals, is exposing you to the ridicule of those who have no dependence upon you, and have neither hopes nor fears from you.

There is indeed no greater happiness than an even natural temper, neither liable to be extremely eager and sanguine, nor stoically indifferent and insensible; neither apt to be worked up to a tempest with every trifle, nor yet buried in a continual lethargic stupidity; neither delighting in being always engaged in scenes of mirth and frolic, nor to be wrapped in the impenetrable gloom of a fixed melancholy.

And after all, what is there in life that may be justly reckoned of sufficient importance to move a person to a violent passion? What good grounds can there be for great expectations, for gloomy apprehensions, for immoderate triumph, or for deep dejection, in such a state as the present, in which we are sure of meeting with innumerable disappointments, even in the greatest success of our affairs, and in which we know that our afflictions and our pleasures must both be soon over? True wisdom will direct us to study moderation with respect to all worldly things; to indulge mirth but seldom, excessive grief never; but to keep up constantly an even cheerfulness of temper.

If it should happen through inadvertency, passion, or human frailty, that you expose yourself to be taken to task by any one, do not so much labour to justify the action, for that is doubling the fault, as your intention, which might be harmless. Besides, the action appears manifest to every one; so that people will judge for themselves, and not take your notion of it. But your intention, being known only to yourself, they will more readily allow you to be the most proper person to explain it. Above all, it is base and unjust to palliate your own fault, by laying the blame upon others.

Suppose you should fairly own you was in the wrong. It will be only confessing yourself a human creature. And is that so mortifying! If, on the contrary, you should stand it out, people will think you twice in the wrong-in committing a folly, and in persisting in it. Whereas, if you frankly own your mistake, they will allow your candour as an apology for half the fault.

It is generally pride and passion that engage people in quarrels and law-suits. It is the very character of a good man, that he will, upon occasion, recede from the utmost rigor of what he might, in justice, demand. If this character were a common one, there would be few law-suits; which, whoever loves, I heartily wish him, for his instruction, the full enjoyment of all its peculiar delights, as attendance, expence, waste of time, fear, and wrangling, with the hatred of all who know his character, and the diminution of his fortune, by every suit he engages in.

If you have reason to believe that your enemy has quitted his hatred to you, and his ill designs against you, do

not insist upon his making you a formal speech, acknowledging his fault and asking pardon; but forgive him frankly, without putting him to the pain of doing what may be more disagreeable to him than you can imagine: For men's natures are very different. If you already know that he is favourably disposed to you, you cannot know it better by his telling you so in a formal manner. At the same time it is not necessary that you trust yourself any more in the hands of one who has endeavoured to betray and ruin you. Christian forbearance and forgiveness are no way inconsistent with prudence.

There is no circumstance in life too trivial to be wholly unworthy of the regard of a person who would be generally agreeable, on which a man's usefulness in society depends much more than many people are aware of. It is great pity that many persons, eminently valuable for learning and piety, do not study the decorum of dress and behaviour more than they do. There is incomparably greater good to be gained by humouring mankind in a few of their trifling customs, and thereby wining their good will, than by startling or disgusting them by a singularity of behaviour in matters of no consequence. In dress, I would advise to keep the middle between foppery and shabbiness; neither being the first nor the last in a fashion. Every thing, which shows, what is commonly called, a taste in dress, is a proof of a vain and silly turn of mind, and never fails to prejudice the judicious against the wearer. A discreet and well-behaved person will never fail to meet with due respect from all the discerning part of society, (and the good opinion of the rest is not worth desiring) though his dress be ever so plain, so it be decent.

SECTION V.

Miscellaneous Thoughts on Prudence in Conversation. AS order or method are of very little consequence in treating of such subjects, I will add here a set of miscellaneous thoughts upon the art of conversation, couched in a few words, from which, with what has been already observed, the young reader may furnish himself with a competent knowledge of what is to be studied, and what to be

avoided in conversation. If the reader should find the same thought twice, it is hoped his candour will overlook a fault, not easy to be avoided in putting together such a variety of unconnected matter. There are few of the following sentences that will not furnish a good deal of thought, or that are to be understood to their full extent without some consideration.

He who knows the world will not be too bashful. He who knows himself will not be impudent.

Do not endeavour to shine in all companies. Leave room for your hearers to imagine something within you beyond all you have said. And remember, the more you are praised, the more you will be envied.

If you would add a lustre to all your accomplishments, study a modest behaviour. To excel in any thing valuable is great; but to be above conceit, on account of one's accomplishments, is greater. Consider, if you have rich natural gifts, you owe them to the Divine bounty. If you have improved your understanding, and studied virtue, you have only done your duty. And thus there seems little ground left for vanity.

You need not tell all the truth, unless to those who have a right to know it all. But let all you tell be truth.

Insult not another for his want of a talent you possess: He may have others which you want.

Praise your friends, and let your friends praise you. If you treat your inferiors with familiarity, expect the same from them.

If you give a jest, take one.

Let all your jokes be truly jokes. Jesting sometimes ends in sad earnest.

If a favour is asked of you, grant it if you can. If not, refuse it in such a manner as that one denial may be suffi cient.

Wit without humanity degenerates into bitterness. Learning without prudence into pedantry.

In the midst of mirth, reflect that many of your fellow creatures round the world are expiring; and that your turn will come shortly. So will you keep your life uniform and free from excess.

Love your fellow creature, though vicious. Hate vice in the friend you love the most.