tie round it two or three folds of flannel, sprinkled with spirits.

REMEDY FOR BURNS AND SCALDS.

When the blisters are open, dress them with a simple white ointment, spread thinly on the smooth side of lint, the first day, then every day after, sprinkle a little powder of prepared chalk, and dress it with the lint and ointment.

ALDGATE PUMP AND COMPANYHousehold Furniture, "Wholesale and for Exportation!"

Under the above title we commence a series of articles upon the various frauds practised by cheating tradesmen, in order to lay open, to the utmost of our power, the means by which such frauds are accomplished; and in doing this, we trust we shall neither breathe upon the honest man's name, nor let the knave pass unpunished. This is the age of gulling, and we have therefore ample room for comment. We trust, that every one of our readers who wish fair trade to prosper, and imposition to fall, will lend us their cordial assistance in the undertaking, by transmitting to us from time to time whatever may appear to them worthy of remark in the ANNALS OF GULLING. If this be done, cheating will meet its due reward, and the honest member of the community may soon be able to lay out his money without loss. Let our readers but drop us a hint upon whatever may strike them as unfair dealing, and we shall knot it upon our lash, and lay it on him who needs it. The first humbugging establishment

that falls within our notice as we enter the metropolis from the east, is ALDGATE PUMP AND Co., Dealers in Household Furniture, "Wholesale and for Exportation!" Who has not heard of this "firm?" Who, with eyes, that ever passed from Whitechapel into Fenchurch-street, or Leadenhallstreet, within the last few years, has not beheld the "Company" staring them in the face? He must be blind indeed who has not. The following is the mode by which these worthies fleece young housekeepers:-They manage to get hold of respectable looking houses in the city (and one of the most recent was in Abchurchlane); these houses they do not take for any length of time, but hire under a specific agreement for a certain period; they furnish them in the most elegant style from top to bottom -a profusion of every species of household equipment; and this done, let them lie over for a short time, when they put bills of auction upon the windows and doors, and advertise them as furniture "new within three months," to be sold by auction, on such and such a day, "the proprietor of the house being about to go abroad." The bait takes, the house fills with buyers, and the articles bring better prices by far than they ever possibly could in the warehouse of "Aldgate Pump and Company." The buyer believes them to be genuine manufacture, and they are strengthened in this opinion, as well as eked on to lay out their money, by the satellites of the "concern," who are judiciously dispersed throughout he crowd, praising, by every possible means, directly and indirectly, the "excellence," the "beauty," the

magnificence," of the furniture. One of these fellows will turn to another in the hearing of a group of well-fledged city gulls, and with sympathetic face that does honour to his talent, remarks, "Ah! Sir, the poor fellow that owned this house-I knew him well-as good a fellow asever breathed-liberal, generous creature

but, Sir, he spent a vast deal of money; and do you know, was obliged to cut (in a loud whisper).

Why, Sir, the furniture of this house did not cost him less than 1,8007.- all articles of the very best kind-prime out-and-out articles --look at this here sofa-beg your pardon, ladies, don't stir-look at this sofa-ay, that his an article. Lord bless you, there is hangings for you,-and the carpets-but, Sir, such beds--that's right, Ma'am (in a whisper to a furcovered bidder), have it, it's worth six times the money." Thus they go on, until the pockets of the buyers are completely emptied. And what sort of goods do they turn out to be? Mere surface-articles got up for the eye; like Pindar's razors, made to sell, and not to shave; while the price paid for them is equal, and often greater than that of genuine and useful furniture.

But not always does the simple gull who attends these sales escape with only paying an exorbitant price for his furniture: we know an instance where still worse happened: a lady once deposited a 501. note in part payment for a large purchase she had made at one of those auctions, in the neighbourhood of Leadenhallstreet, and not finding that the goods were sent home, she drove next day to the house where the auction was held, and, to her astonishment, every article was removed, and nothing presented itself in form of an equivalent to her 501. but an empty house, upon which she had no legal claim; and the people from whom she "bought" nobody knew! how could they? for Aldgate Pump and Company, in such doubtful adventures, take care never to disgrace the firm by going under their proper names. This is fact---truth. We pledge ourselves thus upon our first outset, that we have it from the most authentic

source.

Such things going on within our observation, and no legal method of opposing, what can be done but to substitute the press for the means which are deficient? This system carries its contagion, which is rapidly extending, and unless checked, there will be nothing but ruin for the regular and fair dealer.

We can,

It is quite amusing to those who are acquainted with the secret, to walk into one of those auctions. will follow, as nearly as we the words of our informant, who is well aware of all the "Company's" rogueries, in giving to our readers a scene which he described to us :

"I was going down Fenchurchstreet," said he, "when I was attracted by an auction of household furniture, and I walked in to look about me. The first thing I saw was the Company's mock auctioneer, a fellow who was a feather-dresser, stuck up hammering away; and on looking round I saw all the old set of faces which I so often beheld in similar situations, but all differently dressed. At this moment a friend of mine approached me. I was surprised to see him there, and expressed my fears that he might be taken in. How!

is it possible,' said I, in a loud voice,
'that you come to this rig con-
cern?' The word rig being heard
by the firm of Aldgate Pump and
Co., who was till then in a corner, he
immediately stepped up to me, and
said, 'I say, Mr.
don't you
split; this is my concarn; let us go
on quietly. I could scarcely refrain
from speaking, but I did, and before
I left the house I saw articles which
appeared good to look at, sold for
double the sum at which I myself
bought similar goods."

This "firm have lately been bankrupts, yet they go on now more extensively than before their "failure." They make a vast show of business at their doors. Cases packed, waggons of goods going out, &c.; but those cases and waggons frequently go out in the day only to deposit their contents in another of the Company's depôts, and and then return so as to give an idea that they have "wonderful large orders." This, however, is scarcely worthy of remark, and if it were their only fault, we should not think of noticing it. But the house-taking and auction-gulling, as above described, is a fraud of the most reprehensible nature, and should be made as public as Aldgate pump itself.

"Let our readers be on their guard against this cheating Company, and look narrowly to the quality of furniture new within three months," and the property of people "going to the continent," &c.

It is any thing but economy to buy at such sales. One should always ask in the neighbourhood of an auction of household effects, how long the house has been occupied, unless they are satisfied of its respectability.

[A most extensive gulling concern in the bill way shall appear in our next. More than £100,000 already out, never to come in!!!]

There are two lodged together.—Shak.
Nec hospes ab hospite tutus.-Ovid.

"An Englishman's house is his castle"-I grant it; but for his lodging, a comparison remains to be found. An Englishman's house may be his castle; but that can only be where he consents to keep the whole of it. Of all earthly alliances and partnerships into which mortal man is capable of being trepanned, that which induces two interests to place themselves within four walls, is decidedly the most unholy. It so happens that, throughout my life, I have had occasion only for half a house, and, from motives of economy, have been unwilling to pay rent for a whole one; but-there can be, on earth, I find, no resting-place for him who is so unhappy as to want only "half a house!" In the course of the last eight years, I have occupied one hundred and forty-three different lodgings, running the gauntlet twice through all London and Westminster, and, oftener than I can remember, the "out-parishes" through! As two "removes" are as bad as a fire, it follows that I have gone 71 times and a half through the horrors of conflagration! And, in every place where I have lived, it has been my fate to be domiciled with a monster! But my voice shall be heard, as a voice upon the house-top, crying out until I find relief. I have been ten

days already in the abode that I now write from, so I can't, in reason, look to stay more than three or four more. I hear people talk of "the grave" as a lodging (at worst) that a man is sure of;" but, if there be one resurrection-man alive when I die, as sure as quarter-day I shall be taken up again.

The first trial I endured when I came to London, was making the tour of all the boarding-houses being deluded, I believe, seriatim, by every prescriptive form of "advertisements."

First, I was tried by the pretence modest-this appeared in The Times all the year round: "Desirable circle"-"Airy situation"-"Limited number of guests"-" Every attention"--and " no children."

Next, was the commanding at the very "head and front" of The Morning Post: "Vicinity of the fashionable squares!"-" Two persons, to increase society"-" Family of condition"-and "Terms, at Mr. Sams's, the bookseller's."

Then came the irresistible: "Widow of an officer of rank”—“ Unprotected early in life"-" Desirous to extend family circle"-" Flatters herself," &c.

Moonshine all together!

"Desirable circle"-A bank clerk, and five daughters who wanted husbands. Brandy and water after supper, and booby from Devonshire snapt up before my eyes. Little boy too in the family, that belonged to a sister who "had died." I hate scan

ence.

2

"Fashionable square"-The fire, to the frying-pan! The worst item (on consideration) in all my experiDishes without meat, and beds without blankets. "Terms," "two hundred guineas a-year," and surcharges for night-candle. And, as for dinner! as I am a Yorkshireman, I never knew what it meant while I was in Manchester-square!

I have had two step-mothers, Mr. Editor, and I was six months at Mrs. Tickletoby's preparatory school, and I never saw a woman since I was

born cut meat like Lady Catharine Skinflint! There was a transparency about her slice which (after a good luncheon) one could pause to look at. She would cover you a whole plate with fillet of veal and ham, and not increase the weight of it half an

ounce.

And then the Misses Skinflints for knowledge of anatomy ⚫ their cutting up a fowl! In the puniest half-starved chicken that ever broke the heart of a brood hen to look at, they would find you side-bone, pinion, drum-stick, liver, gizzard, rump, and merrythought! and, even beyond this critical acquaintance with all admitted and apocryphal-divisions and distinctions, I have caught the eldest of them actually inventing new joints, that, even in speculation, never before existed!

I understand the meaning now of the Persian salutation- May your shadow never be less!" I lost mine entirely in about a fortnight that I staid at Lady Skinflints.

Two more hosts took me "at livery" (besides the "widow" of the "officer of rank"), an apothecary, who made patients of his boarders, and an attorney, who looked for clients among them. I got away from the medical gentleman rather hastily, for I found that the pastrycook that served the house was his brother; and the lawyer was so pressing about "discounts," and "investments of property," that I never ventured to sign my name, even to a washing-bill, during the few days was in his house, on quitting the which, I took courage, and resolved to become my own provider, and hired a "First Floor," accordingly ("unfurnished") in the neighbour hood of Bloomsbury-square.

"Mutatio loci, non ingenii."

The premier coup of my new career amounted to an escape. I ordered a carte blanche outfit from an upholsterer of Piccadilly, determined to have my "apartments" unexceptionable before I entered them; and discovered, after a hundred pounds laid out in painting, decorating, and cur

tain fitting, that the "ground landlord had certain claims which would be liquidated when my property went in.'

This miscarriage made me so cautious, that, before I could choose again, I was the sworn horror of every auctioneer and house-agent (so called) in London. I refused twenty offers, at least, because they had the appearance of being "great bargains." Eschewed all houses, as though they had the plague, in which I found that" single gentlemen were preferred." Was threatened with three actions of defamation for questioning the solvency of persons in business. And, at length, was so lucky as to hit upon a really desirable mansion! The "family" perfectly respectable; but had "more room" than was necessary to them. Demanded the "strictest references," and accepted no inmate for "less than a year." Into this most unexceptionable abode I conveyed myself and my property. Sure I should stay for ever, and doubted whether I ought not to secure it at once for ten years instead of one. And, before I had been settled in the house three quarters of an hour, I found that the chimneys-every one of them--smoked from the top to the bottom!

There was guilt in the landlord's eye, the moment the first puff drove me out of my drawing-room. He made an effort to say something like "damp day;" but the "amen" stuck in his throat. He could not say "amen," Mr. Editor, when I did cry "God bless us!" The whole building, from the kitchen to the garret, was infected with the malady. I had noticed the dark complexions of the family, and had concluded they were from the West Indies,--they were smoke-dried!

"Blow high, blow low!"

I suffered six weeks under excuses, knowing them to be humbug all the while. For a whole month it was "the wind;" but I saw " the wind” twice all round the compass, and found, blow which way it would, it still blew down my chimney.

Then we came to "Cures." First, there were alterations at the top--new chimney-pots, cowls, hovels--and all making the thing worse. Then we tried at the bottom---grates re-set, and flues contracted---still to no purpose. Then we came to burning charcoal; and in four days I was in a decline. Then we kept the doors and windows open; and in one day I got a fit of the rheumatism. And in spite of doors or windows, blowers, registers, or Count Rumford---precaution in putting on coals, or mathematical management of pokerdown the enemy would come to our very faces,--poof! poof!---as if in derision! till I prayed Heaven that smoke had life and being, that I might commit murder on it at once, and so be hanged; and, at length, after throwing every moveable I could command at the grate and the chimney by turns, and paying nocure-no-pay" doctors by dozens, who did nothing but make dirt and mischief, I sent for a respectable surveyor, paid him for his opinion beforehand, and heard that the fault in the chimneys was "radical," and not to be remedied without pulling the house down!

I paid my twelvemonth's rent, and wished only that my landlord might live through his lease. I heard afterwards, that he had himself been imposed upon; and that the house, from the first fire ever lighted in it, had been a scandal to the neighbourhood. But this whole sheet would not suffice to enumerate the variety of wretchednesses and smoky chimneys the very least of them!---which drove me a second time to change my plan of life; the numberless lodgings that I lived in; and the inconveniences, greater or lesser attending each. In one place, my servants quarrelled with the servants of "the people of the house." In another, "the people of the house's" servants quarrelled with mine. Here, my housekeeper refused to stay, because "the kitchen was damp." There, my footman begged I would "provide myself," as there were "rats in his cockloft," Then some

body fell over a pail of water, left upon my stairs," and "my maid" declared it was "the other maid" that put it there. Then the cats fought; and I was assured, that mine had given the first scratch. On the whole, the disputes were so manifold, and always ending to my discomfiture,---for the lady of the mansion would assail me,---I never could get the gentleman to be dissatisfied, and so conclude the controversy by kicking him down stairs, that

seeing one clear advantage maintained by the ground-possessor, viz. that I, when we squabbled, was obliged to vacate, and he remained where he was, I resolved, once for all, to turn the tables upon mankind at large, and become a " landlord," and a 66 housekeeper," in my own immediate person.

"Sir, the grey goose hath laid an egg.---Sir, the old barn doth need repair.---The cook sweareth, the meat doth burn at the fire.---John Thomas is in the stocks; and every thing stays on your arrival."

I would not advise any single gentleman hastily to conclude that he is in distress. Bachelors are discontented, and take wives; footmen are ambitious, and take eating-houses. What does either party gain by the change? "We know,' the wise man has said, "what we are; but we know not what we may be." (To be continued.)

VEGETABLE POWDER THE BEST IMITATION OF COFFEE.

Take a CARROT, and after washing and scraping it, cut it into slices, each of the substance of a pennypiece; put those slices into an oven, or upon an iron plate over the fire, until they are sufficiently crisp and brown to grind; then place them in a coffee-mill, and the powder produced will bear so strong a resemblance in appearance and flavour to coffee, that the difference will be hardly discernible. Carrot thus prepared will be found much superior to any powder obtained from grain.