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England is roused, and
undergone a revolution. you are ruined."*
At the conclusion of this • speech the poor man's rage grew quite ungovernable; he started violently, and showed strong symptoms of hydrophobia. In order to ascertain the truth of my surmise, I came behind him, and emptied the jug of water on his head; at which he showed such violent rage, and so convinced me of the nature of his malady, that I made the best of my way out of the room, and had a narrow escape of a fracture, from falling against the old woman and the Editor, who had tumbled over one another down the stairs before me.
I had, however, no other hurt but a slight contusion on the os coccygis, and I did not stop to inquire after the nurse and Editor, who, I trust, had broken one an
* This and some other passages are extracted from Vetus's Letters, but much of the pleasantry is borrowed from the article on Dennis in Pope's and Swift's Miscellanies.-E.
other's falls, but proceeded to make a report of the case at Apsley-house.
This is, Sir, a full and true account of this transaction, and will, I hope, be satisfactory to the public, and put down all the idle tales at present in circulation. I am, Sir, your obedient Servant,
Courier, Dec. 15, 1812. - SIR ARTHUR’s* military fame,
“ I think," quoth Vetus, “ with submission, “ Your Lordship honestly may claim,
“ Because--you bought his first Commission!"
* Vetus had claimed for Lord Wellesley the merit of having advanced his brother in the army.
So when an eloquent Divine
Was loudly praised for preaching well, 6. Hold ! not so fast, the merit’s mine,"
Quoth Sexton Tom-" I rang the bell!"
The manner in which the most confidential
papers have of late been betrayed to the public, will lessen the surprise of our readers at our having so early obtained a copy of the following letter from a Gentilhomme Anglais now in London, to his friend the Duke of Bassano at Paris: though it purports to be a private letter, our readers will perceive that it is in fact a most important State Paper, and well worthy public attention.
“ TO HIS EXCELLENCY, MONSEIGNEUR, THE
DUKE OF BASSANO, &c. &c. AT PARIS.
London, April 28, 1815. - MY DEAR DUKE.-At last, after a most vexatious delay, the plan of the Constitution has reached England, and I hasten to give you, for his Majesty's information, some account of the sensation it has produced here.
“ I grieve to be obliged to say, that it has not so completely succeeded as we had promised ourselves, and I fear the absurd prejudices of this besotted nation as to the bad faith of the EMPEROR are not likely to give way even to this document, though no pains have been spared to prepare their minds for the proposed change of character which he assumes: indeed I regret to state to you, that he is almost as unpopular in London as at Paris, and I doubt whether your badauds can have regarded the Con
stitution with more profound contempt than our Cockneys.
66 The chief cause of ridicule against our Constitution is, that it is a mere experimental machine, which the EMPEROR never intends to put in force, and which, if he were sincere, could not act for want of practised workmen (if I may use the expression) to put it into motion-- you have Houses of Lords and Commons-Liberty of the Pressresponsible Ministers-rights of petitioning,' say they, • all upon paper ;
have not the materials to make Lords, Commons, political writers, or independent petitioners.' This objection, we know, has no real force, because it is far from his MAJESTY'S intention that the Constitution should ever be called into effect, unless indeed it be, like the machine of MARLY, once or twice a-year, to amuse the Parisians on a holiday; but as in appearance, it has some weight, and as I know his Majesty attaches so much importance to any colour of approbation