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critical, or inform the ignorance of courteous readers. Befides, there have been feveral famous pieces lately publifhed, both in verfe and profe, wherein, if the writers had not been pleased, out of their great humanity and affection to the public, to give us a nice detail of the fublime and the admirable they contain, it is a thousand to one, whether we fhould ever have difcovered one grain of either. For my own particular, I cannot deny, that whatever I have said upon this occafion, had been more proper in a preface, and more agreeable to the mode, which ufually directs it there. But I here think fit to lay hold on that great and honourable privilege of being the laft writer; I claim an abfolute authority in right, as the freshest modern, which gives me a defpotic power over all authors before me. In the ftrength of which title, I do utterly disapprove and declare against that pernicious custom, of making the preface a bill of fare to the book. For I have always looked upon it as a high point of indifcretion in monfter-mongers, and other retailers of ftrange fights, to hang out a fair large picture over the door, drawn after the life, with a moit eloquent defcription underneath. This hath faved me many a three-pence; for my curiofity was fully fatisfied, and I never offered to go in, though often invited by the urging and attending orator, with his last moving and ftanding piece of rhetoric, "Sir, upon my word, we

are just going to begin." Such is exactly the fate, at this time, of Prefaces, Epiftles, Advertisements, Introductions, Prolegomenas, Apparatus's, To the Readers. This expedient was admirable at firft. Our great Dryden has long carried it as far as it would go, and with incredible fuccefs. He hath often faid to me in confidence, that the world would have never fufpected him to be fo great a poet, if he had not affured them fo frequently in his prefaces, that it was impoffible they could either doubt or forget it. Perhaps it may be fo: however, I much fear, his inftructions have edified out of their place, and taught men to grow wifer in certain Points, where he never intended they fhould for it is lamentable

lamentable to behold with what a lazy fcorn many of the yawning readers in our age do now-a-days twirl over forty or fifty pages of preface and dedication, (which is the ufual modern stint), as if it were fo much Latin. Though it must be alfo allowed, on the other hand, that a very confiderable number are known to proceed critics and wits, by reading nothing else. Into which two factions, I think, all present readers may justly be divided. Now, for myself, I profefs to be of the former fort and therefore, having the modern inclination to expatiate upon the beauty of my own productions, and difplay the bright parts of my difcourfe, I thought beft to do it in the body of the work; where, as it now lies, it makes a very confiderable addition to the bulk of the volume; a circumftance by no means to be neglected by a fkilful writer.

Having thus paid my due deference and acknowledgement to an established cuftom of our newest authors, by a long digreffion unfought for, and an univerfal cenfure unprovoked; by forcing into the light, with much pains and dexterity, my own excellencies, and other mens' defaults, with great justice to myself, and candour to them; I now happily refume my fubject, to the infinite fatisfaction both of the reader and the author.

SECT. VI.

A TALE OF A TUB.

WE left Lord Peter in open rupture with his two brethren: both for ever discarded from his house, and refigned to the wide world, with little or nothing to truft to. Which are circumftances that render them proper fubjects for the charity of a writer's pen to work on; fcenes of mifery ever affording the faireft harvest for great adventures. And in this the world may perceive the difference between the integrity of a generous author, and that of a common friend. The latter is ob

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ferved to adhere close in profperity, but, on the decline of fortune, to drop fuddenly off: whereas the generous author, just on the contrary, finds his hero on the dunghill, from thence by gradual steps raises him to a throne, and then immediately withdraws, expecting not fo much as thanks for his pains. In imitation of which example, I have placed Lord Peter in a noble houfe, given him a title to wear, and money to spend. There I fall leave him for fome time; returning where common charity directs me, to the affiftance of his two brothers, at their loweft ebb. However, I fhall by no means forget my character of an hiftorian, to follow the truth, step by ftep, whatever happens, or where-ever it may lead me.

The two exiles, fo nearly united in fortune and intereft, took a lodging together; where, at their first leifure, they began to reflect on the numberless misfortunes and vexations of their life paft; and could not tell, on the fudden, to what failure in their conduct they ought to impute them; when, after fome recollection, they called to mind the copy of their father's will, which they had fo happily recovered. This was immediately produced, and a firm resolution taken between them, to alter whatever was already amifs, and reduce all their future measures to the ftricteft obedience prescribed therein. The main body of the will (as the reader cannot easily have forgot) confifted in certain admirable rules about the wearing of their coats: in the perufal whereof, the two brothers, at every period, duly comparing the doctrine with the practice, there was never feen a wider difference between two things! horrible, downright tranfgreffions of every point. Upon which they both refolved, without farther delay, to fall immediately upon reducing the whole exactly after their father's model.

But here it is good to stop the hasty reader, ever impatient to see the end of an adventure, before we writers can duly prepare him for it. I am to record, that these two brothers began to be diftinguished at this time, by certain names. One of them defired to be called MAR

TIN*, and the other took the appellation of JACK . These two had lived in much friendship and agreement, under the tyranny of their brother Peter; as it is the talent of fellow-fufferers to do; men in misfortune being like men in the dark, to whom all colours are the fame. But when they came forward into the world, and began to difplay themselves to each other, and to the light, their complexions appeared extremely different; which the prefent pofture of their affairs gave them fudden opportunity to difcover.

But here the fevere reader may justly tax me as a writer of fhort memory; a deficiency to which a true modern cannot but of neceffity be a little fubject; because memory, being an employment of the mind upon things paft, is a faculty, for which the learned in our illuftrious age have no manner of occafion, who deal entirely with invention, and ftrike all things out of themfelves, or at leaft by collifion, from each other: upon which account, we think it highly reafonable to produce our great forgetfulness, as an argument unanswerable for our great wit. I ought, in method, to have informed the reader, about fifty pages ago, of a fancy Lord Peter took, and infufed into his brothers, to wear on their coats whatever trimmings came up in fafhion; never pulling off any as they went out of the mode, but keeping on all together; which amounted in time to a medley, the most antic you can poffibly conceive; and this to a degree, that upon the time of their falling out, there was hardly a thread of the original coat to be feen, but an infinite quantity of lace and ribbands, and fringe, and embroidery, and points; (I mean, only thofe tagged with filvert, for the reft fell off.) Now this material circumtance having been forgot in due place, as good fortune *Martin Luther,

+ John Calvin.

Points tagged with filver, are thofe doctrines that promote the greatnefs and wealth of the church; which have been therefore woven deepest in the body of Popery.

K 3

hath

hath ordered, comes in very properly here, when the two brothers are just going to reform their vestures into the primitive state, prefcribed by their father's will.

They both unanimoufly entered upon this great work, looking fometimes on their coats, and fometimes on the will. Martin laying the first hand; at one twitch brought off a large handful of points; and with a fecond pull, ftript away ten dozen yards of fringe. But when he had gone thus far, he demurred a while. He knew very well, there yet remained a great deal more to be done. Howver, the first heat being over, his violence began to cool, and he refolved to proceed more moderately in the rest of the work; having already very narrowly escaped a fwinging rent in pulling off the points, which, being tagged with filver, (as we have obferved before), the judicious workman had with much fagacity double fewn, to preferve them from falling. Refolving therefore to rid his coat of a huge quantity of gold lace, he picked up the ftitches with much caution, and diligently gleaned out all the loofe threads as he went; which proved to be a work of time. Then he fell about the embroidered Indian figures of men, women, and children; against which, as you have heard in its due place, their father's teftament was extremely exact and fevere: thefe, with much dexterity and application, were, after a while, quite eradicated, or utterly defaced. For the reft, where he obferved the embroidery to be worked fo close, as not to be got away without damaging the cloth, or where it ferved to hide or ftrengthen any flaw in the body of the coat, contracted by the perpetual tampering of workmen upon it; he concluded the wifeft courfe was, to let it remain; refolving in no cafe what foever, that the subftance of the ftuff fhould fuffer injury; which he thought the best method for ferving the true intent and meaning of his father's will. And this is the neareft account I have been able to collect of Martin's proceedings upon this great revolution.

But his brother Jack, whofe adventures will be fo extraordinary, as to furnish a great part in the remainder

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