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SCENE, sometimes in Verona; sometimes in Milan; and on the Frontiers of Mantua.
SCENE I. An open Place in Verona.
Enter Valentine and Protens.
Val. CEASE to persuade, my loving Proteus ;
To see the wonders of the world abroad,
When thou dost meet good hap; and, in thy danger,
Val. And on a love-book pray for my success. Pro. Upon some book I love, I'll pray for thee. Val. That's on some shallow story of deep love, How young Leander cross'd the Hellespont.
Pro. That's a deep story of a deeper love, For he was more than over shoes in love. Val. 'Tis true; for you are over boots in love, And yet you never swam the Hellespont. Pro. Over the boots? nay, give me not the boots. Val. No, I'll not, for it boots thee not. Pro.
What? Val. To be In love, where scorn is bought with groans; coy looks, With heart-sore sighs; one fading moment's mirth, With twenty watchful, weary tedious nights: If haply won, perhaps, a hapless gain; If lost, why then a grievous labour won; However, but a folly bought with wit, Or else a wit by folly vanquished.
Pro. So, by your circumstance, you call me fool. Val. So, by your circumstance, I fear, you'll prove. Pro. 'Tis love you cavil at; I am not Love. Val. Love is your master, for he masters you: And he that is so yoked by a fool, Methinks should not be chronicled for wise.
Pro. Yet writers say, As in the sweetest bud The eating canker dwells, so eating love Inhabits in the finest wits of all.
Val. And writers say, As the most forward bud Is eaten by the canker ere it blow, Even so by love the young and tender wit Is turn'd to folly; blasting in the bud, Losing his verdure even in the prime, And all the fair effects of future hopes. But wherefore waste I time to counsel thee, That art a votary to fond desire?
Once more adien: my father at the road
Pro. And thither will I bring thee, Valentine.
Pro. All happiness bechance to thee in Milan! Val. As much to you at home! and so, farewell! [Exit.
Pro. He after honour hunts, I after love: He leaves his friends, to diguify them more; I leave myself, my friends, and all for love. Thou, Julia, thou hast metamorphos'd me; Made me neglect my studies, lose my time, War with good counsel, set the world at nought; Made wit with musing weak, heart sick with thought.
Speed. Why then my horns are his horns, whether I wake or sleep.
Pro. A silly answer, and fitting well a sheep.
Pro. True; and thy master a shepherd. Speed. Nay, that I can deny by a circumstance. Pro. It shall go hard, but I'il prove it by another. Speed. The shepherd seeks the sheep, and not the sheep the shepherd; but I seek my master, and my master seeks not ine: therefore, I am no sheep.
Pro. The sheep for fodder follow the shepherd, the shepherd for food follows not the sheep; thou for wages followest thy master, thy master for wages follows not thee: therefore, thou art a sheep.
Speed. Such another proof will make me cry baa. Pro. But dost thou hear? gav'st thou my letter to Julia?
Speed. Ay, sir: I, a lost mutton, gave your letter to her, a laced matton; and she, a laced mutton, gave me, a lost matton, nothing for my labour.
Pro. Here's too small a pasture for such a store of
Speed. If the ground be overcharged, you were best stick her.
Pro. Nay, in that you are astray; 'twere best pound
Speed. Nay, sir, less than a pound shall serve me for carrying your letter.
Pro. You mistake; I mean the pound, a pin-fold.
Speed. From a pound to a pin? fold it over and over, "Tis threefold too little for carrying a letter to your lover.
Pro. But what said she? did she nod? [Speed nods. Speed. I.
Pro. Nod 1? why, that's noddy.
Speed. You mistook, sir; I say, she did nod: and you ask me, if she did nod; and I say, I.
Pro. And that set together, is-noddy. Speed. Now you have taken the pains to set it together, take it for your pains.
Pro. No, no, you shall have it for bearing the letter. Speed. Well, I perceive, I must be fain to bear with
Pro. Why, sir, how do you hear with me? Speed. Marry, sir, the letter very orderly; having nothing but the word, noddy, for my pains.
Pro. Beshrew me, but you have a quick wit. Speed. And yet it cannot overtake your slow purse. Pro. Come, come, open the matter in brief: what said she?
Speed. Open your purse, that the money, and the matter, may be both at once delivered.
Pro. Well, sir, here is for your pains: what said she? Speed. Truly, sir, I think you'll hardly win her. Pro. Why?Couldst thou perceive so much from her? Speed. Sir, I could perceive nothing at all from her; no, not so much as a ducat for delivering your letter: and being so hard to me that brought your mind, I fear, she'll prove as hard to you in telling her mind. Give her no token but stones; for she's as hard as steel. Pro. What, said she nothing?
Speed. No, not so much as-take this for thy pains. To testify your bounty, I thank you, you have testern'd me; in requital whereof, henceforth carry your letters yourself: and so, sir, I'll commend you to my master. Pro. Go, go, be gone, to save your ship from wreck; Which cannot perish having thee aboard, Being destin'd to a drier death on shore :I must go send some better messenger; I fear, my Julia would not deign my lines, Receiving them from such a worthless post. [Exeunt.
SCENE H. The same. Garden of Julia's House. Enter Julia and Lucetta.
Jul. But say, Lucetta, now we are alone,
That every day with parle encounter me,
Luc. Please you, repeat their names, I'll show my According to my shallow, simple skill.
Jul. What think 'st thou of the fair sir Eglamour? Luc. As of a knight well-spoken, neat and fine; But, were I you, he never should be mine.
Jul. What think'st thou of the rich Mercatio? Luc. Well of his wealth; but of himself, so, so. Jul. What think 'st thou of the gentle Proteus? Luc. Lord, lord! to see what fully reigns in us! Jul. How now! what means this passion at his name? Luc. Pardon, dear madam; 'tis a passing shame, That I, unworthy body as I am,
Should censure thus on lovely gentlemen.
Jul. Why not on Proteus, as of all the rest?
Luc. I have no other but a woman's reason;
Peruse this paper, madam. Jul. To Julia, Say, from whom? That the contents will show. Jul. Say, say; who gave it thee? [Proteus. Luc. Sir Valentine's page; and sent, I think, from He would bave given it you, but I, being in the way, Did in your name receive it; pardon the fault, I pray. Jul. Now, by my modesty, a goodly broker! Dare you presume to harbour wanton lines? To whisper and conspire against my youth? Now, trust me, 'tis an office of great worth, And you an officer fit for the place.
There, take the paper, see it be return'd;
That you may ruminate. [Exit. Jul. And yet, I would I had o'erlook'd the letter. It were a shame to call her back again, And pray her to a fault for which I chid her. What fool is she, that knows I am a maid, And would not force the letter to my view? Since maids, in modesty, say No, to that Which they would have the profferer construe, Ay. Fie, fie! how wayward is this foolish love, That, like a testy babe, will scratch the nurse, And presently, all humbled, kiss the rod ! How churlishly I chid Lucetta hence, When willingly I would have had her here! How angrily I taught my brow to frown, When inward joy enforc'd my heart to smile! My penance is, to call Lucetta back, And ask remission for my folly past.What ho! Lucetta!
Jul. Is it near dinner-time? Luc.
I would it were; That you might kill your stomach on your meat, And not upon your maid. Jul. What is't you took up So gingerly? Luc. Jul. Why did'st thou stoop then? Luc. To take a paper up that I let fall. Jul. And is that paper nothing? Luc. Nothing concerning me. Jul. Then let it lie for those that it concerns. Luc. Madam, it will not lie where it concerns, Unless it have a false interpreter.
Jul. Some love of yours hath writ to you in rhyme Luc. That I might sing it, madam, to a tune: Give me a note: your ladyship can set.
Jul. As little by such toys as may be possible:
Luc. It is too heavy for so light a tune.
Luc. No, madam; it is too sharp.
Luc. Nay, now you are too flat.
And mar the concord with too harsh a descant:
Jul. The mean is drown'd with your auraly base.
Go, get you gone; and let the papers lie:
Jul. Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Thus will I fold them one upon another;
Luc. Madam, dinner's ready and your father stays.
Luc. What, shall these papers lie like tell-tales here? Jul. If you respect them, best to take them up. Luc. Nay, I was taken up for laying them down: Yet here they shall not lie, for catching cold.
Jul. I see, you have a month's mind to them. Luc. Ay, madam, you may say what sights you see; I see things too, although you judge I wink. Jul. Come, come, will't please you go? [Exeunt.
A Room in Antonio's House.
Ant. Tell me, Panthino, what sad talk was that,
He wonder'd, that your lordship Would suffer him to spend his youth at home; While other men, of slender reputation, Put forth their sons to seek preferment out: Some, to the wars, to try their fortune there; Some, to discover islands far away; Some, to the studious universities. For any, or for all these exercises, He said, that Proteus, your son was meet:
And did request me, to importune you,
To let him spend his time no more at home,
In having known no trouble in his youth.
Ant. Nor need'st thou much importune me to that Whereon this month I have been hammering.
I have consider'd well his loss of time;
And how he cannot be a perfect man,
Then, tell me, whither were I best to send him?
Ant. I know it well.
Pan. Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen; And be in eye of every exercise, Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth.
Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd:
I will despatch him to the emperor's court.
Pro. Sweet love! sweet lines! sweet life!
Ant. How now? what letter are you reading there?
Ant. Lend me the letter; let me see what news. Pro. There is no news, my lord; but that he writes How happily he lives, how well belov'd, And daily graced by the emperor; Wishing me with him, partner of his fortune.
Ant. And how stand you affected to his wish? Pro. As one relying on your lordship's will, And not depending on his friendly wish. Ant. My will is something sorted with his wish: Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed; For what I will, I will, and there an end. I am resolv'd, that thou shalt spend some time. With Valentinus in the emperor's court; What maintenance he from his friends receives, Like exhibition thou shalt have from me.
'I'o-morrow be in readiness to go:
Ant. Look, what thou want'st, shall be sent after
The uncertain glory of an April day;
Pan. Sir Proteus, your father calls for you;
Val. Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine :-
Speed. Madam Silvia! madam Silvia!
Speed. She is not within hearing, sir.
Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks: First, you have learned, like sir Proteus, to wreath your arms. like a male-content; to relish a love-song, like a robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A. B. C; to weep, like a voung wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to wa k like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Val. Are a these things perceived in me?
Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in an urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, but is a physician to comment on your malady.
al. But, tell me, dost thou know my lady Silvia? Speed. She, that you gaze on so, as she sits at supper?
Val. Hast thou observ'd that? even she I mean. Speed. Why, sir, I know her not.
Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet knowest her not?
Speed. Is she not hard-favoured, sir?
Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you) well favoured.
Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count.
Val. How painted? and how out of count?
Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty.
Val, How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty.
Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed. Val. How long bath she been deformed?
Speed. Ever since you loved her.
Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful.
Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her.
Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes; or your own had the lights they were. wont to have, when you chid at sir Proteus for going ungartered!
Val. What should I see then?
Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours.
Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set; so, your affection would cease.
Val. Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to one she loves.
Speed. And have you?
Val. I have.
Sil. Sir Valentine and servant, to you two thousand. Speed. He should give her interest; and she gives it him.
al. As you enjoin'd me, I have writ your letter, Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;, Which I was much unwilling to proceed in, But for my duty to your ladyship. Sil. I thank you, gentle servant: 'tis very clerkly Val. Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off; For, being ignorant to whom it goes, I writ at random, very doubtfully.
Sil. Perchance you think too much of so much pains? Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Please you command, a thousand times as much: And yet,
Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the seque!; And yet I will not name it :-and yet I care not;And yet take this again;-and yet I thank you; Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more. Speed. And yet you will; and yet another yet. [Aside. Val. What means your ladyship? do you not like it? Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ: But since unwillingly, take them again; Nay, take them.
Val, Madam, they are for you.
Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request; But I will none of them; they are for you: I would have had them writ more movingly. Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another. Sil. And, when it's writ, for my sake read it over: And, if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
Val. If it please me, madam! what then? Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour; And so good morrow, servant. [Exit.
Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath taught her suitor, He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! was there ever heard a better? That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter?
Val. How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?
Speed. Nay, I was rhyming; 'tis you that have the
Val. To do what?
Speed. To be a spokesman from madam Silvia.
Val. To whom?
Speed. To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure. Val. What figure?
Speed. By a letter, I should say.
Val. Why, she hath not writ to me.
Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest? Val. No, believe me.
Speed. No believing you, indeed, sir: But did you perceive her earnest?
Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.
Val. I would, it were no worse.
Speed. I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
For often you have writ to her, and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply,, Or fearing else some messenger, that might her mind discover, [lover
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her All this I speak in print; for in print I found it.Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
Val. I have dined.
Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir: though the cameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat: O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved. [Exeunt. SCENE II. Verona. A Room in Julia's House. Enter Proteus and Julia.
Pro. Have patience, gentle Julia.
Jul. And seal the bargain with a holy kiss.
Julia, farewell.-What! gone without a word?
Pan. Sir Proteus, y u are staid for. Pro. Go; I come, I come :Alas! this parting strikes poor lovers dumb. [Exeunt.
SCENE III. The same. A Street.
Enter Launce, leading a Dog.
Laun. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping: all the kind of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the sourestnatured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear; he is a stone, a very pobble-stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father;-no, this left shoe is my father;-no, no, this left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so neither;-yes, it is so, it is so; it hath the worser sole: this shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father: a vengeance on't! there 'tis now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid; I am the dog-no, the and I am myself; ay, so, so.-Now come I to my dog is himself, and I am the dog.-O, the dog is me, father; Father, your blessing; now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping; now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on:-now come I to my mother, (O, that she could speak now!) like a woodwoman-well, I kiss her;-why, there 'tis ; here's
my mother's breath up and down now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes: now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer. Laun. It is no matter if the ty'd were lost; for it is the unkindest ty'd that ever any man ty'd. Pan. What's the unkindest tide?
Laun. Why, he that's ty'd here; Crab, my dog. Pan. Tut, man, I mean thou'lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage; and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy service, -Why dost thou stop my mouth?
Laun. For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
Speed. Not of you.
Val. Of my mistress then.
Speed. "Twere good, you knocked him.
Sil. Servant, you are sad.
Val. Indeed, madam, I seem so.
Thu. Seem you that you are not?
Thu. So do counterfeits.
Val. So do you.
Thu. What seem I, that I am not?
Thu. What instance of the contrary?
Thu. And how quote you my folly?
Thu. My jerkin is a doublet.
Val. Well, then, I'll double your folly.
Sil, What, angry, sir Thurio? do you change colour? Val. Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of cameleon.
Thu. That hath more mind to feed on your blood, then live in your air.
Val. You have said, sir.
Thu. Ay, sir, and done too, for this time.
Val. I know it well, sir; you always end ere you begin.
Sil. A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off.
Val. 'Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver.
Val. Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire: sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks, and spends what he borrows, kindly in your company. Thu. Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt.
Val. I know it well, sir: you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers; for it appears by their bare liveries, that they live by your bare words.
Sil. No more, gentlemen, no more; here comes my father.
Duke. Now, daughter Silvia, you are hard beset. Sir Valentine, your father's in good health: What say you to a letter from your friends Of much good news? Val. My lord, I will be thankful To any happy messenger from thence. Duke. Know you Don Antonio, your countryman?
Val. Ay, my good lord, I know the gentleman To be of worth, and worthy estimation, And not without desert so well reputed.
Duke. Hath he not a son?
Val. Ay, my good lord; a son that well deserves. The honour and regard of such a father. Duke. You know him well?
Val. I knew him as myself; for from our infancy
To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection;
Duke. Beshiew me, sir, but, if he make this good,
Val. Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been he. Duke. Welcome him then according to his worth; Silvia, I speak to you; and you, sir Thurio.For Valentine, I need not cite him to it: I'll send him hither to you presently. Val. This is the gentleman, I told your ladyship Had come along with me, but that his mistress Did hold his eyes lock'd in her crystal looks.
Sil. Belike, that now she hath enfranchis'd them Upon some other pawn for fealty. [still.
Val. Nay, sure, I think, she holds them prisoners Sil. Nay, then he should be blind; and, being blind, How could he see his way to seek out you?
Val. Why, lady, love hath twenty pair of eyes. Thu. They say, that love hath not an eye at all. Val. To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself; Upon a homely object love can wink.
Sil. Have done, have done; here comes the gentle
Val. Welcome, dear Proteus !-Mistress, I beseech you,
Confirm his welcome with some special favour.
Sil, Too low a mistress for so high a servant.
No; that you are worthless. Enter Servant.
Ser. Madam, my lord your father would speak with you.
Sil. I'll wait upon his pleasure. [Exit Servant. Come, sir Thurio, Go with me:-Once more, new servant, welcome : I'll leave you to confer of home-affairs; When you have done, we look to hear from you. Pro. We'll both attend upon your ladyship. [Exeunt Silvia, Thurio, and Speed. Val. Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came? [commended. Pro. Your friends are well, and have them much Val. And how do yours?
I left them all in health. Val. How does your lady? and how thrives your love?
Pro. My tales of love were wont to weary you;
I know, you joy not in a love-discourse.