1st Sw. I have lost a haunch. Bes. A little butter, friend, a little butter: 2nd Sw. Captain, we must request Your hand now to our honours. Bes. Yes, marry, shall ye ; And then let all the world come. To ourselves; and there's an end. We are valiaut 1st Sw. Nay, then, we must be valiant. Oh my ribs! 2nd Sw. A plague upon those sharp-toed shoes! They're murderers! ["The pretended self-deception with which a coward lies to his own thoughts, the necessity for support which induces him to apply to others as cowardly as himself for the warrant of their good opinion, and the fascinations of vanity which impel such men into the exposure which they fancy they have taken the subtlest steps to guard against, are most entertainingly set forth in the interview of Bessus with the two bullies, and the subsequent catastrophe of all three in the hands of Bacurius. The nice balance of distinction and difference in which the bullies pretend to weigh the merits of kicks and beatings, and the impossibility which they affect of a shadow of imputation against their valour, or even of the power to assume it hypothetically, are masterly plays of wit of the first order."-Wit and Humour, &c. p. 174.] THE SCORNFUL LADY. AN ELDERLY SERVING-MAID LOOKING MARRIAGE-WARDS. She had a tale how Cupid struck her in love with a great lord in the Tilt-yard,' but he never saw her; yet she, in kindness, would needs wear a willow-garland at his wedding: she loved all the players in the last queen's time once over; she was struck when they acted lovers, and forsook some when they played 1 On the site of the present Horse Guards; where the courtiers used to amuse themselves with knightly exercises. murderers. She has nine spur-royals,' and the servants say she hoards old gold; and she herself pronounces, eagerly, that the farmer's eldest son (or her mistress's husband's clerk that shall be) that marries her shall make her a jointure of fourscore pounds a year. AN ACCEPTED LOVER REPRESSED. An apartment in the house of the Scornful Lady. Enter (with YOUNGLOVE, her waiting-maid) the Lady to LOVELESS, who has begged to speak with her. Lady. Now, sir, this first part of your will is performed : what's the rest? Loveless. Mistress, for me to praise over again that worth which you yourself and all the world can see Lady (shivering). It's a cold room this, servant. Love. Mistress Lady. What think you if I have a chimney for it, out here? Love. Mistress, another in my place, that were not tied to believe all your actions just, would apprehend himself wronged: but I whose virtues are constancy and obedience Lady (to waiting-woman). Younglove, make a good fire above, to warm me after my servant's exordiums. Love. I have heard, and seen, your affability to be such, that the servants you give wages to may speak. Lady. 'Tis true, 'tis true; but they speak to the purpose. Love. Mistress, your will leads my speeches from the purpose: but, as a man▬▬ Lady (interrupting him). A simile, servant? This room was built for honest meaners, that deliver themselves hastily and plainly, and are gone. Is this a time or place for exordiums, and similes, and metaphors? If you have aught to say, break into it. My answers shall very reasonably meet you. Love. Mistress, I came to see you. Lady. That's happily dispatched. The next? Love. To take leave of you. Lady. To be gone? 1 Gold coins worth 15s. each, and so called because they had a star on the reverse resembling the rowel of a spur.-DYCE. Love. Yes. Lady. You need not have despaired of that; nor have used so many circumstances to win me to give you leave to perform my command. Is there a third ? Love. Yes, I had a third, had you been apt to hear it. Lady. Most willingly. Have you brought one can speak it? Love. Lastly, it is to kindle in that barren heart love and forgiveness. Lady. You would stay at home ? Love. Yes, lady. Lady. Why, you may, and doubtlessly will, when you have debated that your commander is but your mistress; a woman; a weak one, wildly overborne with passions. But the thing by her commanded, is, to see Dover's dreadful cliff, passing, in a poor water-house, the dangers of the merciless channel'twixt that and Calais; five long hours' sail, with three weeks' poor victuals! Love. You wrong me. Lady. Then, to land dumb, unable to enquire for an English host;-to remove from city to city, by most chargeable post-horses, like one that rode in quest of his mother tongue ; Love. (interrupting). You wrong me much. Lady. And for all these almost invincible labours performed for your mistress, to be in danger to provoke her, and to put on new allegiance to some French lady, who is content to change language with you for laughter; and, after your whole year spent in tennis and broken speech, to stand to the hazard of being laughed at, at your return, and have tales made on you by the chambermaids. Love. You wrong me much. Lady. Louder yet. Love. You know your least word is of force to make me seek out dangers: move me not with toys. But in this banishment I must take leave to say you are unjust. Was one kiss, forced from you in public by me, so unpardonable? Why, all hours have seen us kiss. Lady. 'Tis true; and so you satisfied the company that heard me chide. Love. Your own eyes were not dearer to you than I. Love. I did; yet no sign of disgrace need to have stained your cheek. You yourself knew your pure and simple heart to be most unspotted, and free from the least baseness. Lady. I did: but if a maid's heart doth but once think that she is suspected, her own face will write her guilty. Love. But where lay this disgrace? The world that knew us, knew our resolutions well; and could it be hoped that I should give away my freedom, and venture a perpetual bondage, with one I never kissed? or could I, in strict wisdom, take too much love upon me, from her that chose me for her husband? Lady. Believe me, if my wedding-smock were on,- If you dare go Love. I dare, you know. First, let me kiss. 1 This herb was used as an emblem of remembrance at weddings as well as funerals.-WEBER and DYCE. 2 Hippocras was a favourite medicated drink, composed of wine (usually red), with spices and sugar. It is generally supposed to have been so called from Hippocrates (contracted by our earliest writers to Hippoeras); perhaps because it was strained,—the woollen bag used by apothecaries to strain syrups and decoctions being termed Hippocrates's sleeve.-DYCE. Lady (declining). Farewell, sweet servant. Your task perform'd, On a new ground, as a beginning suitor, I shall be apt to hear you. Eld. Love. Farewell, cruel mistress.' [Exit. A "DOMINIE" BANTERED. Sir Roger, a foolish chaplain, carries a message to a wit.? Rog. God save you, sir! My lady lets you know, she desires to be acquainted with your name, before she confer with you. Wel. Sir, my name calls me Welford. Rog. Sir, you are a gentleman of a good name.- -(aside) I'll try his wit. Wel. I will uphold it as good as any of my ancestors had this two hundred years, sir. Rog. I knew a worshipful and a religious gentleman of your name in the bishopric of Durham. cousin ? Wel. I am only allied to his virtues, sir. Call you him Rog. It is modestly said. I should carry the badge of your Christianity with me too. Wel. What's that? a cross? There's a tester. [Gives money.3 Rog. I mean, the name which your godfathers gave you at the font. Wel. 'Tis Harry. But you cannot proceed orderly now in your catechism; for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name? Rog. Roger. Wel. What room fill you in this house? 1 This scene, with the airs that the lady gives herself, the readiness and sprightliness of her replies, and the lasting style of the prose, is anticipation of the writing of Congreve. "Sir" was the college title of a Bachelor of Arts. 3 Money often bore a cross on it. ພາ |