THE STAGE COACHES OF BY-GONE DAYS.

About fifty years ago, the Holyhead mail left London at eight at night, and arrived at Shrewsbury between ten and eleven the following night, taking twenty-seven hours to run 162 miles. At the time when this rate of travelling was considered all that was required, there was a coach on the road between Shrewsbury and Chester, called the "Shrewsbury and Chester Highflyer." This coach started from Shrewsbury at eight o'clock in the morning, and arrived at Ches. ter about the same time in the evening, the distance being forty miles. This was a good hard road for wheels, and rather a favourable one for draught. "But how," inquires a writer in the Quarterly Review for 1832, "can all these hours be accounted for ?" Why, if a "commercial gentleman" had a little business at Ellesmere, there was plenty of time for that; if a "real gentleman" wanted to pay a morning visit on the road, there could be no objection to that. In the pork-pie season, half-an-hour was generally consumed in consuming one of them, for Mr. Williams, the coachman, was a wonderful favourite with the farmers' wives and daughters all along the road. The coach dined at Wrexham, for coaches lived well in those daysthey now live upon air; and Wrexham Church was to be seen-a fine specimen of the florid Gothic, and one of the wonders of Wales! Then Wrexham was also famous for its ale: there were no public breweries in those days in Wales; and, above all, the inn belonged to Sir Watkin. About two hours were allowed for dinner; but Billy Williams, one of the best tempered fellows on earth, as honest as Aristides, was never particular to half-an-hour or so. "The coach is ready, gentlemen," he would say; "but don't let me disturb you, if you wish for another bottle." This was the plan adopted in the good old times, when every affair of life moved on at a quiet jog-trot pace, not at all adapted to the present mode of carrying on business. Competition of the most eager kind has been for some years the order of the day, and most certainly it cannot be said that stagecoaches stood still. Leaving out of the question the light coaches, which travelled at an extremely rapid rate, we may notice the speed maintained by the mails, which had to travel long distances before their employment was superseded by railways. The Edinburgh mail ran 400 miles in forty hours, stoppages included. This was nearly eleven miles an hour. A coach to Exeter, the "Herald," went over its ground, 173 miles, in twenty hours-and that is a very uneven country; and the Devonport mail performed its journey, 227 miles, in twenty-two hours. The increase of speed was alarming to those who had been accustomed to the old-fashioned slow coaches, and the rate at which the new vehicles travelled was considered reckless risking of human life. Nevertheless, the thing went on, and it began to be whispered, in spite of the merciless ridicule of the Quarterly Review,

that if steam were to be employed on a railway, it would be even possible to attain a speed of some twenty miles an hour. In reference to a proposed London and Woolwich railroad, the Quarterly not only backed " Old Father Thames against it for any sum," but assured its readers that the people of Woolwich "would as soon suffer themselves to be fired off upon one of Congreve's 'ricochet rockets, as trust themselves to the mercy of such a machine (a high-pressure engine), and going at such a rate (eighteen miles an hour)." And the reviewer expresses his trust that "Parliament will, in all railways it may sanction, limit the speed to eight or nine miles an hour, which is as great as can be ventured upon with safety." The experiment has, however, been tried, and we all know with what success.

CRIME OF BEING YOUNG.

In a debate, in which Mr. Pitt and some of his young friends had violently attacked old Horace Walpole, the latter complained of the self-sufficiency of the young men of the date, on which Mr. Pitt got up with great warmth, beginning with these words:" With the greatest reverence for the grey hairs of the honourable gentleman;" Walpole then pulled off his wig, and showed his head covered with grey hairs; this occasioned a general laughter, in which Pitt joined, and the dispute subsided.

SHARP SHOT.

At the siege of Badajoz, a cannon-shot, fired by the French, struck the ground first, and then hit one of our artillery-men on the back, when he fell, as was thought, killed on the spot. In a moment, however, he jumped up unhurt, the shot having glanced off his knapsack; in commemoration of which event, he was afterwards known by the appellation of the bomb-proof man."-A British soldier having fired at a Frenchman, without orders, was reprimanded for doing so by his colonel, who asked him why he did so; when he coolly said, scratching his head at the same time, "Why, zur, I ar'n't nought to eat this here two days, and I thought as how I might find somewhat in his knapsack."

SETTLING A QUESTION.

When Captain Jervis (afterwards Earl St Vincent) commanded the Alarm frigate, on the coast of Barbary, one of her boats being near the shore, in the bay of Tunis, two slaves swam off, and concealed themselves in the King's colours. The Dey of Tunis sent to demand their return: Jervis refused, saying that the instant they took refuge under the British flag, they were free. He threatened to file upon the ship; Jervis instantly got the Alarm abreast of the castle, and sent him word that the first shot that was fired should be returned, and the castle levelled with the ground. Jervis took no further steps, and carried his two freed slaves off in triumph.

TASTE FOR MUSIC.

The infamous Duke of Lauderdale used to say that he had rather hear a cat mew than the best music in the world; and the better the music the more sick it made him.

SPECIAL PLEADING.

When a very eminent special pleader was asked by a country gentleman if he considered that his son was likely to succeed as a special pleader, he replied, "Pray, sir, can your son eat saw-dust without butter ?"

A SMALL GLASS.

The manager of a Scotch theatre, at which Kean was playing Macbeth, seeing him greatly exhausted towards the close of the performance, offered him some whisky in a very small thistle-glass, saying, at the same time, by way of encouragement, "Take that, Mr. Kean; take that, sir; it is the real mountain dew; that will never hurt you, sir!" "No," said Kean, with a significant glance at the homeopathic dose, "No, that I'll be sworn it wouldn't—if it was vitriol!'

MICHAEL FARADAY.

This eminent person was the son of a humble blacksmith, who apprenticed him to a small bookbinder in Blandford-street, when only nine years of age, and in which occupation he continued till he was twenty-two. The circumstances that occasioned his exchanging the work-room of the binder for the laboratory of the chemist have been thus forcibly related. Ned Magrath, now secretary to the Athenæum, happening, five and twenty years ago, to enter the shop of Ribeau, observed one of the bucks of the paper bonnet zealously studying a book he ought to have been binding. He approached -it was a volume of the old Britannica, open at ELECTRICITY. He entered into talk with the greasy journeyman, and was astonished to find in him a self-taught chemist, of no slender pretensions. He presented him with a set of tickets for Davy's lectures at the Royal Institution: and daily thereafter might the nondescript be seen perched, pen in hand, and his eyes starting out of his head, just over the clock opposite the chair. At last the course terminated; but Faraday's spirit had received a new impulse, which nothing but dire necessity could have restrained; and from that he was saved by the promptitude with which, on his forwarding a modest outline of his history, with the notes he had made of these lectures, to Davy, that great and good man rushed to the assistance of kindred genius. Sir Humphrey immediately appointed him an assistant in the laboratory; and, after two or three years had passed, he found Faraday qualified to act as his secretary. His career has been successful, and he now stands at the head of his profession. He ranks as one of the first lecturers of the day, and has published several works highly and deservedly popular.Arnett's History of Book-binding.

STAMMERING.

Stammering (says Coleridge) is sometimes the cause of a pun. Some one was mentioning in Lamb's presence the cold-heartedness of the Duke of Cumberland, in restraining the Duchess in rushing up to the embrace of her son, whom she had not seen for a considerable time, and insisting on her receiving him in state. "How horribly cold it was," said the narrator. "Yes," said Lamb, in his stuttering way, "but you know he is the Duke of Cu-cum-ber-land.”

CUNNING ASTROLOGER.

An astrologer foretold the death of a lady whom Louis XI. passionately loved. She did, in fact, die; and the King imagined that the prediction of the astrologer was the cause of it. He sent for the man, intending to have him thrown through the window, as a punishment. "Tell me, thou who pretendest to be so clever and learned a man, what thy fate will be?" The soothsayer, who suspected the intrigues of the Prince, and knew his foible, replied: "Sire, I foresee that I shall die three days before your Majesty." The King believed him, and was careful of the astrologer's life.

QUEEN VICTORIA AND THE PAGE. We have pleasure in placing on record an incident in the domestic history of Queen Victoria. We learned that it is the usual fashion for the Queen and Prince Albert to breakfast alone, and with no attendant but a confidential page. When we heard this, we were led to dream of a graceful youth, with ruffles at his wrists and powdered hair, as, in our youth, we beheld the pages that annually bewildered us by their grandeur, in attendance on his grace the commissioner, who represents royalty in the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland. No such thing. A page, it seems, is often a common-place specimen of adult humanity. One such was on one occasion, waiting at the breakfasttable, when, like Nehemiah of old, he looked sad in the Royal presence. "Wherefore," the Queen said unto him, " is thy countenance sad, seeing thou art not sick? This is nothing else but sorrow of heart." As in the case of Nehemiah, the page, at first sore afraid, at last took courage, and revealed to his Royal mistress the cause of his grief. His daughter's husband was on his death bed, at Brighton, and his wife and six children had none to comfort them. The Queen instantly ordered the presence of another attendant, furnished the sorrowing man with money for the journey to his daughter, and ordered him, on his return, to report to her the circumstances in which the family were placed. His sonin-law, as had been feared, died, leaving his widow and family unprovided for; but in the Queen they had found a friend. The children were placed in various hospitals in London; and for the mother a situation was procured, at once honourable and comfortable.-Edinburgh Witness.

MAKING IT UP.

An attorney being informed by his cook that there was not dinner enough provided, upon one occasion when company were expected, he asked if she had brothed the clerks. She replied that she had done so. "Well then," said he, "broth 'em again."

WATERLOO LETTERS.

One of the three letters written by the Duke of Wellington from the field of Waterloo was a brief note, which, having enumerated some who had fallen, ended thus emphatically:-"I have escaped unhurt: the finger of Providence was on me." What the impulse was which dictated these extraordinary words, we leave to the opinion of those who read them. When the dreadful fight was over, the Duke's feelings, so long kept at the highest tension, gave way, and, as he rode amid the groans of the wounded and the reeking carnage, and heard the rout of the vanquished and the shouts of the victors, fainter and fainter through the gloom of night, he wept, and soon after wrote the words above quoted from his letter.

LAWYERS IN AMERICA.

In the towns in the interior, a lawyer's office is generally a small wooden house, of one room, twelve feet square, built of clapboard, and with the door wide open; and the little domicile, with its tenant used to remind me of a spider in its web, waiting for flies. A lawyer in one of the newly-settled Western States was so extremely metaphorical upon an occasion, when the stealing of a pig was the case in point, that at last he got to "corruscating rays." The judge (who appeared equally metaphorical himself) thought proper to pull him up, by saying: "Mr.

wish you would take the feathers from the wings of your imagination, and put them into the tail of your judgment."

.

Of the "Beggar's Opera," we find the following record in the Gentleman's Magazine, Sept. 15, 1773:-"This day Sir John Fielding informed the bench of justices that he had last year written to Mr. Garrick concerning the impropriety of performing the Beggar's Opera,' which never was represented on the stage without creating an additional number of real thieves; he begged, therefore, the gentlemen present would join with him in requesting Mr. Garrick to desist from performing that opera on Saturday evening. The bench immediately consented to the proposal; and a polite card was despatched to Mr. Garrick for that purpose. To which Mr. Garrick returned for answer, that his company was so imperfect and divided (many of the performers being yet in the country), that it would be exceedingly inconvenient, if not impossible, for him to open with any other piece; but added, that he would, in future, do everything in his power to oblige them."

ELLISTON AND GEORGE IV.

In 1824, when the question of erecting a monument to Shakspeare, in his native town, was agitated by Mr. Mathews and Mr. Bunn, the King (George IV.) took a lively interest in the matter, and, considering that the leading people of both the patent theatres should be consulted, directed Sir Charles Long, Sir George Beaumont, and Sir Francis Freeling to ascertain Mr. Elliston's sentiments on the subject. As soon as these distinguished individuals (who had come direct from, and were going direct back to, the Palace) had delivered themselves of their mission, Elliston replied," Very well, gentlemen, leave the papers with me, and I will talk over the business with HIS MAJESTY."

FINDING MONEY.

Parties ought to be very cautious in their actions if they should by chance find in the streets any small sum of money or other valuables. The Police Act is very stringent on this point, and by section 221 imposes a penalty of not more than £5 on any person who, after finding money, fails, within fortyeight hours afterwards, to report the same to the Police-office. This was once strongly stated by Bailie Bryson, at the Calton Policecourt, Edinburgh, in the case of a young lad, who, it appeared, found a one-pound note in Kent-street, Calton, which he immediately handed over to his parents, and said nothing about it to the police. The circumstance, however, had been ascertained, and an owner having been found, the offender was charged with the contravention of the act; and after a suitable admonition by the Bailie on the impropriety of his conduct, sentenced to pay a fine of half-a-guinea, besides refunding the money found.

WHAT A DIRTY SHIRT YOU HAVE ON!

Soon after Bolivar's entry into Bogota, subsequent to the defeat of the Spaniards at Bojaca, he gave a grand entertainment to many of the first families of the place, and just before dinner an English Colonel arrived. Bolivar, looking at him, said, "My good and brave Colonel, what a dirty shirt you have on for this grand dinner; how happens it?" The Colonel replied, he was "really very sorry, but, to confess the truth, it was the only shirt he had:" on hearing which, Bolivar laughed, and sending for his majordomo, desired him to give the Colonel one of his shirts. The man hesitated, and remained looking at the General; when he again said, rather impatiently, "Why don't you go, as I desire you?-the dinner will soon be on the table." The major-domo stammered out, "Your Excellency has but two shirts-one is on your back, the other in the wash!" This made Bolivar and the Colonel laugh heartily; the former remarking, jokingly: "The Spaniards retreated so quickly from us, my dear Colonel, that I have been obliged to leave my heavy baggage in the rear.'

POLITE CORRECTION.

Sir Robert Graham, upon one occasion, when passing sentence upon a batch of convicted criminals, is said by accident to have pronounced sentence of transportation on one who it was intended should be hanged. Shocked beyond measure, when apprised of this mistake, he desired the culprit to be again placed in the dock, and hastily putting on the black cap, he addressed him :-" Prisoner at the bar, I beg your pardon!" and then proceeded to pass on him the awful sentence of the law.

RUNS UPON THE BANK OF ENGLAND. There is an abundance of interest in the chronicles of the runs upon the Bank, and the expedients by which it has been savedin 1745, for instance, by the corporation retaining its specie, and employing agents to enter with notes, who, to gain time, were paid in sixpences; and, as those who came first were entitled to priority of payment, the agents went out at one door with the specie they had received, and brought it back by another, so that the bonâ fide holders of notes could never get near enough to present them. We may as well here, though it be out of date, give the explanation of the issue of one-pound notes during the panic of 1825. The incidental mention to one of the directors that there was a box of one-pound notes ready for issue, turned the attention of the authorities to the propriety of attempting to circulate them; and the declaration of Mr. Henry Thornton, in 1797, probably occurred, that it was the want of small change, not a necessity for gold, that was felt; and as the pressure on the country banks arose from the holders of the small notes, it was suggested to the Government that the public might, perhaps, receive one-pound notes in place of sovereigns. The Government approved of the idea, and the panic was at its height, when, on Saturday, the 17th of December, the Bank closed its doors with only £1,027,000 in its cellars. (In the pamphlet published by Lord Ashburton is the following remarkable paragraph. After saying "I was called into counsel with the late Lord Liverpool, Mr. Huskisson, and the Governor of the Bank," his Lordship proceeds: "The gold of the Bank was drained to within a very few thousand pounds; for al'nough the published returns showed a result rather less scandalous, a certain Saturday night closed with nothing worth mentioning remaining.") It has been frequently stated, that by a mere accident the box of one-pound notes was discovered. But such was not the case. A witness stated that "he did not recollect that there were any one-pound notes; they were put by; it was the casual observation that there were such things in the house, which suggested to the directors that it would be possible to use them." Application was made to the Government for permission to issue them; and this was granted, subject to certain stipulations.

A READY ANSWER.

When Clarke, the traveller, asked, in Sweden, what became of a woman who fell into the shaft of an iron mine that he visited, "Became of her!" said the man to whom he put the question, striking his hand forcibly upon his thigh; "she became a pancake!"

WITTY PERVERSION.

Dr. Williamson had a quarrel with one of his parishioners by the name of Hardy, who showed considerable resentment. On the succeeding Sunday, the doctor preached from the following text, which he pronounced with great emphasis, and with a significant look at Hardy, who was present, "There is no fool like the fool-Hardy."

SATISFACTION.

Lord William Poulat was said to be the author of a pamphlet called "The Snake in the Grass." A gentleman abused in it sent him a challenge. Lord William protested his innocence, but the gentleman insisted upon a denial under his own hand. Lord William took a pen and began-"This is to scratify that the buk called 'The Snak" "— "Oh my Lord," said the person, "I am satisfied your Lordship has already convinced me you did not write the book."

A German, on his passage from Hamburgh to England, was asked by a fellow voyageur, whether he should not drink porter on his arrival in London: "No," replied the German, "it will be much too strong for my head." "Ah!" rejoined the other, "you will change your opinion when you have once tasted it." A few weeks after, the German met his friend, who asked him whether he had not drunk porter as he predicted. "No," replied he, "I drink half-and-half." "But that is even stronger, being half ale and half porter!" "Oh," cried the German with surprise, "I thought half-and-half was half. porter and half water."

The last time Madame Pasta was in England, a lady of high distinction asked her if she drank as much porter as usual. "No, mia cara, prendo half-and-half adesso."

AN ESCAPE.

Louis XVIII, when living at Dilligen, on the Danube, was once shot at, and the ball grazed his forehead; but the wretch who fired the musket was never discovered.

DEAR MEAL.

Fanny Murray, a beauty of Walpole's time, was complaining of want of money, when Sir Robert Atkins gave her a twenty pound note. She said, "D-n your twenty pound, what does it signify ?" clapped it between two pieces of bread and butter, and ate it!

ESTIMATE OF A LIFE.

The Duke of Wellington, after the battle of Waterloo, joined in the pursuit, and followed the enemy for some miles. Colonel Hervey, who was with him, advised him to desist, as the country was growing less open, and he might be fired at by some stragglers from behind the hedges. "Let them fire away-the battle is won, and my life is of no value now!"

LORD BROUGHAM.

Shortly after his Lordship's appointment to the office of Lord High Chancellor, he visited, along with some other Ministers of the Cabinet of Earl Grey, one of the most extensive breweries in the metropolis, and had there what is colloquially called a "beefsteak dinner." After it was finished, a proposition was made that they should inspect the works; and, in order that the party might understand the use of each and all of them, the foreman, a cautious, but intelligent Scotchman, was desired to attend and explain them. They had scarcely got into the first room, before Lord Brougham, with a slight motion of the hand, put aside his Scotch cicerone, who was volunteering an explanation, and said, with his usual cool, good-natured nonchalance: "Young man, I will save you the trouble you are about to undertake; I understand all this perfectly well, and will explain it myself to my noble and distinguished friends." His Lordship then proceeded, without further preface, to explain to Earl Grey and other members of this convivial party, every stage in the process of brewing; but, unfortunately, did not explain one of them right, even by accident. The Scotchman, who perceived, but was too prudent to expose, the ignorance of his countryman, was astounded by his unceasing volubility: and, in speaking of it in a mixed company, where the informant was present, observed: "Gude faith, sirs, but it made my hair staun on en to hear the Lord High Chancellor o' Great Britain tellin the Lord High Treasurer a lang tail aboot maut and the brewing o't, and nae word o' truth fra beginnin to en. It made a thinking mon reflect what a terrible pass things must ha come till, when ae Minister could jist tell, and anither Minister jist believe, sic awful cantrips. Eh, sirs! nae barrel can be gude that that blatherin' chiel has gat the brewin o'."

TURNING THE TABLES.

A young lady, a native of Sydney, being asked if she should like to go to Britain, answered, that she should like to see it, but not to live in it. On being pressed for her reason, she replied, that, from the great number of bad people sent out from thence, it must, surely, be a very wicked place to live in!"

CREDIT.

Among the witty aphorisms upon this unsafe topic, are Lord Alvanley's description of a man who "muddled away his fortune in paying his tradesmen's bills;" Lord Orford's definition of timber, "an excrescence on the face of the earth, placed there by Providence for the payment of debts;" and Pelham's argument, that it is respectable to be arrested, because it shows that the party once had credit.

ODD HOUSEKEEPING.

Mrs. Montgomery was the only-the motherless-daughter of the stern General Campbell, who early installed her into the duties of housekeeper, and expected this giddy puss to give in her accounts with the precision of a Mrs. Decorum; but it sometimes happened that, in setting down the articles purchased, and their prices, she put the cart before the horse;" her gruff papa never lectured her verbally, but wrote his remarks on the margin of the paper, and returned it for correction. One such instance was as follows:"General Campbell thinks five-and-sixpence exceedingly dear for parsley." Henrietta instantly saw her mistake; but, instead of formally rectifying it, wrote against the next item-"Miss Campbell thinks twopence-halfpenny excessively cheap for fowls;" and sent it back to her father.

GERMAN ENGLISH.

An English lady resident at Coblentz, one day wishing to order of her German servant (who did not understand English) a boiled fowl for dinner, Grettel was summoned, and that experiment began. It was one of the lady's fancies, that the less her words resembled her native tongue, the more they must be like German. So her first attempt was to tell the maid that she wanted a cheeking or keeking. The maid opened her eyes and mouth, and shook her head. "it's to cook," said the mistress, "to cook, to put in an iron thing, in a pit, pat, pot." "Ish understand risht," said the maid, in her Coblentz patois. "It's a thing to eat," said her mistress, "for dinner-for deener-with sauce, soace,

sowose. What on earth am I to do?" exclaimed the lady, in despair, but still made another attempt. "It's a little creature-a bird-a bard-a beard-a hen-a hone-a fowl-a fool; it's all covered with feathers-fathers-feeders!" "Ha, ha," cried the delighted German, at last getting hold of a catchword, "Ja, ja! fedders-ja wohl!" and away went Grettel, and in half an hour returned, triumphantly, with a bundle of stationer's quills.