SWALLOWING KNIVES.

Dr. Marcet, in the "Medico-Chirurgical Transactions," 1822, relates the history of an English sailor, who, in imitation of a conjuror, whose tricks he had just witnessed, and in a drunken frolic, swallowed several clasp-knives, and ten years afterwards died in Guy's Hospital. Several most skilful surgeons examined his body with great interest and attention: to the astonishment of all, the blades of many knives were found in his interior, "some of them remarkably corroded and prodigiously reduced in size, whilst others were, comparatively, in a state of tolerable preservation." The knives are still to be seen in the museum attached to the hospital.

A CROCKETTER.

Colonel Crocket, while on an electioneer. ing trip, fell in at a gathering, and it became necessary for him to treat the company. His finances were rather low, having but one 'coon skin about him; however, he pulled it out, slapped it down on the counter, and called for its value in whiskey. The merchant measured out the whiskey and threw the skin into the loft. The colonel observing the logs very open, took out his ramrod, and, upon the merchant turning his back, twisted his 'coon skin out and pocketed it: when more whiskey was wanted, the same skin was pulled out, slapped upon the counter, and its value called for. This trick was played until they were all tired of drinking.

EATING PIG.

The Lady Guilla, an Italian Countess of the eleventh century, wanting, it would seem, a dinner, carried off a pig from a widow close by, set her cooks hard to work on it, and when it was ready sat down to dinner. The widow had often begged that the victim might be given back to her, but the Countess, having snuffed up the savour of roast pig in "her mind's nose," turned a deaf ear to all solicitations. The widow, nothing daunted, broke in upon her in the very act of eating the pig, and (very reasonably) begged that she might at least have a taste of this pig of her own feeding. "Let me," she said, "though not thought worthy to enjoy in the accustomed way what I nursed and fed so carefully, at least have a taste of its last savour." The proud matron not only refused her a morsel of the pig, but told her, in the most insolent manner, that she should have none. But the very same day, after dinner, "having thus fattened her stomach by this robbery of another person," she went out for a stroll, and sat down under the side of the castle moat. While she was there some of the fortifications above gave way, and towers and earth came down on her. They set men to dig her out, but the weight which had fallen on her was such as to have beaten her to atoms; or, as the narrator says, in his pointed way, "She who had denied a piece of pork to the widow, was smashed into pieces herself."

CHELSEA HEROINES.

In the year 1739 was interred in the College burying-ground Christian Davies, alias Mother Ross, who, according to her own narrative, served in several campaigns under King William and the Duke of Marlborough, and behaved with signal bravery. During the latter part of her life she resided at Chelsea, where her third husband was a pensioner in the college. At this time she subsisted, as she tells us, principally on the benevolence of the quality at Court, whither she went twice a week in a hackney-coach, old age and infirmities having rendered her unable to walk.

The famous Hannah Snell, whose history is recorded in various publications of the year 1750, was actually at that time put upon the out-pensioners list at Chelsea, on account of the wounds which she received at the siege of Pondicherry. Her singular story excited a considerable share of public attention; and she was engaged to sing, and perform the military exercises at various places of public entertainment: soon afterwards she married one Eyles, a carpenter at Newbury. A lady of fortune, who admired the heroism and eccentricity of her conduct, having honoured her with particular notice, became godmother to her son, and contributed liberally to his education. Mrs. Eyles, to the day of her death, continued to receive her pension, which, in the year 1786, was augmented by a special grant to a shilling a day. In the latter part of her life she discovered symptoms of insanity, and was admitted a patient into Bethlehem Hospital, where she died, February 8, 1792, aged 69 years.

SOLDIER'S APPEAL.

During the siege of Fort Philip, a young lieutenant of the Marines was so unhappy as to lose both his legs by a chain shot. In this miserable and helpless condition he was conveyed by the first opportunity to England, and a memorial of his case presented to an honourable board, in order to obtain some additional consideration to the narrow stipend of half-pay. The Board pitied the youth, but disregarded his petition. Major Mason had the poor lieutenant conducted to Court on a public day, in his uniform, where, posted in the guard-room, and supported by two brother officers, he cried out, as George II. was passing to the drawingroom, " Behold, great sire, a man who refuses to bend his knee to you: he has lost both in your service." The King, struck no less by the singularity of this address than by the melancholy object before him, stopped and hastily demanded what had been done for him. "Half-pay," replied the lieutenant, "an't please your Majesty." "Fie, fie on't," said the King, shaking his head, "but let me see you again next levee day." The lieutenant did not fail to appear at the place of assignation, when he received from the immediate hands of Royalty five hundred pounds smart money, and a pension of two hundred a year.

YORKSHIRE FUN.

The assizes and the theatre always open together at York; and it is common to hear the Tykes say," Eh, lad, ther'll be fun next week; t'pla'ctors is cuming, and t'men's to be hung all at t'syame time."

AWKWARD HONOUR.

In 1832 a medical gentleman wrote a letter to Sir Henry Halford on cholera, in which he took to himself the credit of being "the first to discover the disease, and communicate it to the public!" The public is much obliged to him.

GOVERNESSES.

A lady wrote to her son, requesting him to look out for a lady, such as she described, and such as is ordinarily expected in a governess, that is to say, all-accomplished, with the disposition of an angel. The gentleman wrote back that he had long been looking out for such a person, and that when he found her he should not recommend her for a governess, but take her for a wife.

MRS. TROLLOPE'S CONVERSATION WITH AN AMERICAN WOMAN.

"Well now, so you be from the old country? Ay, you'll see sights here, I guess.

"I hope I shall see many."

"That's a fact. Why they do say, that if a poor body contrives to be smart enough to scrape together a few dollars, that your King George always comes down upon 'em, and takes it all away. Don't he?"

"I do not remember hearing of such a transaction."

"I guess they be pretty close about it. Your papers ben't like ourn, I reckon. Now we says and prints just what we likes."

"You spend a good deal of time in reading the newspapers."

"And I'd like you to tell me how we can spend it better. How should freemen spend their time, but looking after their Government, and watching that them fellers as we gives offices to doos their duty, and gives themselves no airs?"

"But I sometimes think, ma'am, that your fences might be in more thorough repair and your roads in better order, if less time was spent in politics."

"The Lord! to see how little you knows of a free country. Why, what's the smoothness of a road put against the freedom of a free-born American ? And what does a broken zig-zag signify, comparable to knowing that the men what we have been pleased to send up to Congress speaks handsome and straight, as we choses they should ?"

"It is from a sense of duty, then, that you all go to the liquor store to read the papers?" "To be shure it is, and he'd be no trueborn American as didn't. I don't say that the father of a family should always be after liquor, but I do say that I'd rather have my son drunk three times in a week than not to look after the affairs of his country."

SNAKE STORY.

A snake, about two feet long, was seen, in New Harmony (United States), to enter the hole inhabited by a craw-fish, from which he soon retreated, followed by the rightful tenant, who stopped in defensive attitude at the mouth of his habitation, raising his claws in defiance. The snake turned quickly round, and seized the head of the craw-fish, as if to swallow him; but the crawfish soon put an end to the conflict, by clasping the snake's neck with his claws, and severing the head completely from his body. This may appear marvellous; but Audubon tells a story of a rattle-snake chasing and overtaking a squirrel, which folks in America doubt.

CAPILLARY ATTRACTION.

When Charles II. was espoused to the Infanta of Portugal, a fleet was sent over to Lisbon, with proper attendants, to bring her hither; but her Majesty being informed that there were some particular customs in Portugal, with relation to the ladies, which the King would not easily dispense with, the fleet was detained six or seven weeks, at a great expense, till her Majesty's hair grew.— (Mr. Prince, with his Russian oil, would have prospered under Royal patronage in those days; and Mr. Rowland would not have needed immortality in Byron's verse: comparable huile Macassar.")

"In

ORIGIN OF THE HOUSE OF RUSSELL.

The Russell family may date the era of their greatness to a violent storm, which happened about the year 1500, on the coast of Dorset, a county which appears to have been the birthplace of their ancestors, one of whom was Constable of Corfe Castle, in the year 1221. Philip, Archduke of Austria, son of the Emperor Maximilian, being on a voyage to Spain, was obliged by the fury of a sudden tempest to take refuge in the harbour of Weymouth. He was received on shore, and accommodated by Sir Thos. Trenchard, who invited his relation, Mr. John Russell, to wait upon the Archduke. Philip was so much pleased with the polite manners and cultivated talents of Mr. Russell, who was conversant with both the French and German languages, that, on arriving at court, he recommended him to the notice of Henry VII., who immediately sent for him to his palace, where he remained in great favour till the King's death. In the estimation of Henry VIII. he rose still higher. By that monarch he was made Lord Warden of the Stannaries, Lord Admiral of England and Ireland, Knight of the Garter, and Lord Privy Seal, and on the 9th of March, 1538, created Baron Russell, of Cheneys, in the county of Bucks, which estate he afterwards acquired by marriage. At the coronation of Edward VI. he officiated as Lord High Steward; and two years afterwards, in the year 1549, was created Earl of Bedford. He died in 1554, and was buried at Cheneys, where many of his descendants have also been interred, &c.

UNWELCOME TITLE.

Charles Incledon, the vocalist, being asked if he had ever read Murray's "Sermons to Asses," replied, "He had not; he did not like the book; the title was too personal."

PUBLIC ACCOUNTS.

At one period, while the Duke of Newcastle was in power, in the reign of George II., many serious complaints were made relative to the settlement of public accounts. The King, at length, became acquainted with the alleged grievances, and warmly remonstrated with the Duke on his carelessness and inattention; protested that he was determined, at once, for his own satisfaction and that of his aggrieved people, to look into the papers himself. "Is your Majesty in earnest ?" asked the Duke. The King replied in the affirmative, and the Duke promised to send him the accounts. At an early hour on the following morning, the King was disturbed by an extraordinary noise in the courtyard of his Palace, and, looking out of the window he perceived a cart or a waggon laden with books and papers, which, on inquiry, he found had been sent by the Duke of Newcastle. Shortly afterwards, the Minister himself appeared, and the King asked him what he meant by sending a waggon-load of stationery to the Palace.

"These are the documents relative to the public accounts," replied his Grace, "which your Majesty insisted on examining; and there is no other mode of forwarding them except by carts or waggons. I except a second load will arrive in a few minutes."

"Then, my Lord Duke," replied the King, "you may make a bonfire of them for me. I would rather be a galley-slave than go through the rubbish; so away with it, and countermand the cart which you say is coming; but pray let me hear no more complaints on this subject."

On another occasion, he sent, in a fury, for the Duke's brother, Mr. Pelham, and inquired, in a coarse and angry manner, why the civil list had not been paid. Pelham replied that he had been compelled to use the money for some public and more important purpose. The King, however, would not admit of this excuse, and swore, if the arrears were not instantly paid, he would get another Minister. "I am determined," said he, "not to be the only master in my dominions who does not pay his servants' wages."

One day it appears that he was actually without a shilling in his pocket; for it is related that a half idiot labourer, while the King was inspecting the progress of some repairs at Kensington, having asked his Majesty for something to drink, the King, although offended, was yet ashamed to refuse the fellow, and put his hand into the usual receptacle of his cash, but, to his surprise and confusion, found it empty. "I have no money," said he angrily. "Nor I either," quoth the labourer; "and, for my part, I can't think what has become of it all."

A SCOLDING WIFE.

Dr. Casin having heard the famous Thomas Fuller repeat some verses on a scolding wife, was so delighted with them as to request a copy. "There is no necessity for that," said Fuller, "as you have got the original."

HONOUR.

William III. having insisted on Lord H- -n's giving him his honour not to fight a man who had given him a box on the ear, his Lordship was obliged seemingly to comply; but as soon as he was out of the King's presence, he fought the man. The King was at first highly incensed at his breaking his word with him, and asked him how he came to do so, when he had just given him his honour. "Sire," replied his Lordship, "you were in the wrong to take such a pledge, for at the time I gave it you I had no honour to give."

A DANCING ARCHBISHOP.

Dr. King, Archbishop of Dublin, having invited several persons of distinction to dine with him, had, amongst a great variety of dishes, a fine leg of mutton and caper sauce; but the Doctor, who was not fond of butter, and remarkable for preferring a trencher to a plate, had some of the above-mentioned pickle introduced dry for his use; which, as he was mincing, he called aloud to the company to observe him. "I here present you, my Lords and gentlemen," said he, “with a sight that may henceforward serve you to talk of as something curious, namely, that you saw an Archbishop of Dublin, at fourscore and seven years of age, cut capers upon a trencher."

DOLLS' EYES.

Insignificant as may appear this petty article of commerce, it is well known to keep in employ several thousand hands, and goes to show the vast importance of trifles to a country of decided commercialists. Mr. Osler, an intelligent manufacturer of Birmingham, gave the following statement before the committee of the House of Commons, in 1824:“Eighteen years ago, on my first journey to London, a respectable-looking man in the city asked me if I could supply him with dolls' eyes; and I was foolish enough to feel half offended. I thought it derogatory to my new dignity as a manufacturer to make dolls' eyes. He took me into a room quite as wide, and twice the length of this (one of the large rooms for committees in the House of Commons), and we had just room to walk between the stacks, from the floor to the ceiling, of parts of dolls. He said these were only the legs and arms, the trunks were below; but I saw enough to convince me that he wanted a great many eyes; and as the article appeared quite in my own line of business, I said I would take an order by way of experiment, and he showed me several specimens. I copied the order, and on returning to the Tavistock Hotel I found it amounted to upwards of £500."

FAMILY SLAUGHTER. In Westmoreland it is usual at Christmas for the farmers to kill each a sheep for their own use, on which occasion, when the butcher inquires if they want any meat against Christmas, the usual reply is, "Nay, I think not, I think o' killing mysell." A butcher called on a farmer of his acquaintance in the usual manner, saying, "Will ye want a bit o' meat, or ye'll kill yersell, this Christmas?" "I kna not," replied the farmer, "whether I'se kill mysell, or tak' a side o' me feyther."

DR. PARR.

Dr. Parr used, on a Sunday evening, after church, to sit on the green, at Hatton, with his pipe and his jug, and witness the exertions of his parishioners in the truly English game of cricket, making only one proviso, that none should join the party who had not previously been to church. It is needless to say his presence was an effectual check on all disorderly conduct; the skittle-grounds were deserted, and a better conducted parish was rarely seen than the worthy doctor's. He was beloved by his flock during his life, and sincerely lamented at his death.

The most remarkable of the desperate defences in the war in Spain in 1835 was that of the Alcade Mayor of the village of Albocaçer. On the approach of Cabrera and his (Carlist) troops, the Alcade Mayor commanding the National Guard shut himself up in the church with twelve men, dismissing the rest of the inhabitants. As usual, the church was set on fire, and he retired into the tower accompanied by only two men. The latter, giving themselves up for lost, thought that, by sacrificing their leader, they might save their own lives. One of them fired a pistol, which missed him; the Alcade killed the assassin with a blow of his dagger, cast the other man from the tower, and thus remained to defend himself alone: the tower was at last pulled down, and by the greatest chance he fell among the ruins unwounded, and remained closely concealed under a bell; the Carlists sought for him in vain, and retired. The brave Alcade seized his arms, rushed from the ruins of the church, and with a stentorian voice cried aloud, "The Alcade Mayor of Albocaçer is still alive! Liberty for ver!" He discharged his piece upon his enemies, and succeeded in effecting his escape, in the midst of the confusion which his sudden reappearance had caused.

ROAST PIG.

How this morceau from Tietz's "Constantinople" would bave gratified Charles Lamb. The Russian Ambassador, M. Von Bulgakow, who, during the last year of the preceding century, was for some time an inhabitant of the Seven Towers, discovered a safe and clever mode of receiving intelligence from his friends on the exterior. Having a most extraordinary appetite for roast pig, his

agents endeavoured, by frequently sending him this dish, to gratify his wishes. The well-known prejudice of the Turks against pork made the then existing Janissaries pass by the messengers with rapidity, without bestowing on them the requisite inspection. Had they but known that the stuffing of the little animal consisted of important letters, they would not, probably, have hesitated as to his dissection. But the Turks are a kindly people, and very little prone to suspicion. "Allah kerim!" they would exclaim; "if He had wished that the correspondence should be discovered, some miracle would, doubtlessly, have exposed the inside of the pig to light!"

HARLOW'S SIGN-PAINTING.

There is a nice little anecdote connected with the sign of the Queen's Head at Epsom. The above sign (the original, for the board has been repainted) was executed by Harlow, the artist of the celebrated picture of "The Trial of Queen Katherine; or, the Kemble Family." The painter, it will be remembered, was a pupil of the late Sir Thomas Lawrence. He was a young man of consummate vanity, and, having unwarrantably claimed the merit of painting the Newfoundland dog introduced in Lawrence's portrait of Mrs. Angerstein, the two artists quarrelled, and Harlow took his resentment as follows. He repaired to the Queen's Head, at Epsom, where his style of living having incurred a bill which he could not discharge, he proposed, like Morland under similar circumstances, to paint a sign-board in liquidation of his score. This was accepted. He painted both sides: the one presented a front view of her Majesty, in a sort of clever, dashing caricature of Sir Thomas's style; the other represented the back view of the Queen's person, as if looking into the sign-board; and underneath was painted, "T. L., Greek-street, Soho." When Sir Thomas met him, he addressed him with, "I have seen your additional act of perfidy at Epsom; and, if you were not a scoundrel, I would kick you from one end of the street to the other." "There is some privilege in being a scoundrel, for the street is very long," replied Harlow, unabashed, but moving out of reach of the threatened vengeance. Such is the current story; but there must be some error either in the facts or their date. Harlow was but a youth eighteen years old when he left Lawrence, and too young, therefore, for a man's resentment; neither had his conduct, a mere tricky slip, been such as to call forth fierce language in a person habitually so cautious and guarded as Lawrence. On the other hand, had Harlow arrived at manhood when it happened, he would not have allowed the words "scoundrel" and "perfidy" to pass with impunity. However all this may have been, the pupil quarrelled with Lawrence, and, resolving to be master of his own movements in future, commenced working for himself.

SHERIDAN'S WIT.

Sheridan enjoyed a aistinguished reputation for colloquial wit. From among the best of the occasional dicta, &c. attributed to him, the following are selected :

An elderly maiden lady, an inmate of a country-house at which Sheridan was passing a few days, expressed an inclination to take a stroll with him, but he excused himself on account of the badness of the weather. Shortly afterwards, she met him sneaking out alone. "So, Mr. Sheridan," said she, "it has cleared up." "Yes, madam," was the reply; "it certainly has cleared up enough for one, but not enough for two;" and off he

went.

He jocularly observed, on one occasion, to a creditor, who peremptorily required payment of the interest due on a long-standing debt, "My dear sir, you know it is not my interest to pay the principal; nor is it my principle to pay the interest."

One day, the Prince of Wales having expatiated on the beauty of Dr. Darwin's opinion, that the reason why the bosom of a beautiful woman possesses such a fascinating effect on man is, because he derived from that source the first pleasurable sensations of his infancy, Sheridan ridiculed the idea very happily. "Such children, then," said he, 'as are brought up by hand, must needs be indebted for similar sensations to a very different object; and yet, I believe, no man has ever felt any intense emotion of amatory delight at beholding a pap-spoon."

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Boaden, the author of several theatrical pieces, having given Drury-Lane Theatre the title of a wilderness, Sheridan, when requested shortly afterwards to produce a tragedy written by Boaden, replied, "The wise and discreet author calls our house a wilderness. Now, I don't mind allowing the oracle to have his opinion; but it is really too much for him to expect that I will suffer him to prove his words."

He once took advantage of the singular appetite of his friend Richardson for argument, to evade payment of a heavy coachfare. Sheridan had occupied a hackneycoach for several hours, and had not a penny in his pocket to pay the coachman. While in this dilemma, Richardson passed, and he immediately proposed to take the disputant up, as they appeared to be going in the same direction. The offer was accepted, and Sheridan adroitly started a subject on which his companion was very vehement and obstinate. The argument was maintained with great warmth on both sides, until at length Sheridan affected to lose his temper, and, pulling the check-string, commanded the coachman to let him out instantly, protesting that he would not ride another yard with a man who held such opinions, and supported them in such a manner. So saying, he descended, and walked off, leaving Richardson to enjoy his fancied triumph, and to pay the whole fare. Richardson, it is said, in a paroxysm of delight at Sheridan's apparent defeat, put

his head out of the window, and vociferated his arguments until he was out of sight.

THREE REASONS.

"There is nothing in the world I am so fond of as a play, Tom," said an old lady to her nephew," and, but for three reasons, 1 should be a great frequenter of the theatres." "And what may those reasons be, my dear aunt?" "Why, Tom, first I hate the trouble of going thither; next, I hate the trouble of staying there; and, lastly, I hate the trouble of coming home again."

LADY DROGHEDA AND WILLIAM

WYCHERLEY.

Several years after the appearance of his play of "The Plain Dealer," Wycherley encountered the Countess of Drogheda, a young, rich, and beautiful widow, at Tunbridge. They met in a bookseller's shop. The lady came to inquire for "The Plain Dealer," and the master of the shop presently introduced Wycherley to her as the real Plain Dealer. This must have been subsequently to June, 1679, when the Earl died. The poet and the Countess were soon after privately married. The lady was (probably not without good reason) distractedly jealous. Dennis relates that their lodgings were in Bow-street, Covent-garden, opposite the Cock Tavern; and that, if at any time he entered that place of refreshment with his friends, he was obliged to leave the windows open, that she might see that there was no woman in the company Of course, a person of this disposition would feel considerable reluctance to trust her husband at Court. The infrequency of Wycherley's appearance there gave umbrage, and lost him the favour of Charles. The Countess did not long survive her marriage. She settled her whole estates upon Wycherley; but the settlement was disputed, and the dramatist, ruined by law and extravagance, was thrown into prison. There he lay for several years. It is said he was at last relieved by James II., who having gone to see "The Plain Dealer" acted, was so delighted, that he was induced to give orders for the payment of the author's debts, and for the grant of a pension of £200 per annum. Wycherley did not profit by the King's liberality to the full extent, for, ashamed to confess the amount of his debts, he understated them. His pension dropped at the Revolution. He father's estate, to which he succeeded some years later, was strictly entailed, and the income fell, under an attachment, for the creditors. The poet, nevertheless, continued to struggle on till 1715, the year of his death. Eleven days before that event, in the eightieth year of his age, he was married to a young woman with a fortune of £1500. What attractions such a match could possess for the lady, it is difficult to imagine. He contrived to spend a good deal of her money; but repaid her on his death-bed by the judicious advice, "not to take an old man for her second husband.”