heda's motion; and, sir, give me leave-I say, Mr. He sits down, and ANVIL and another member President-[looks in his hat] give me leave to ob-get up together; some cry Anvil, others Jacobs.

Pres. Mr. Anvil.

Anvil. Mr. President, sir

[The members all blow their noses, and cough; ANVIL talks all the while, but is not heard.] Pres. Silence, gentlemen; pray, gentlemen. A

serve, that, sir, tho' it is impossible to add any force
to what has been advanced by my honourable friend
in the straps; yet, sir, [looks into his hat again,] it
may, sir, I say, be necessary to obviate some objec-
tions that may be made to the motion; and first it
may be thought-I say, sir, some gentlemen may
think, that this may prove pernicions to our manufac-worthy member is up.
~[looks in his hat,] and the duty doubtless it
is of every member of this illustrious assembly to
have a particular eye unto that; but, Mr. Presi-
dent-sir, [looks in his hat, is confused, and sits
down.]

ture

Pres. Mr. Twist, O pray finish, Mr. Twist.

Twist. I say, Mr. President, that, sir, if, sir, it be considered that-as-I say-[looks in his hat,] I have nothing farther to say. [Sits down, and STRAP gets up.]

Pres. Mr. Strap.

Anvil. I say, Mr. President, that if we consider this case in its utmost extent-[All the members cough and blow their noses again.] I say, sir, I will. Nay, I insist on being heard. If any gentleman has any thing to say any where else, I'll hear him. [Members all laugh, and ANVIL sits down in a passion, and SLAUGHTER gets up.

Pres. Mr. Samuel Slaughter.

Slaug. Sir, I declare it, at the bare hearing of this here motion, I am all over in a sweat; for my part I can't think what gentlemen mean by talking in that Strap. Mr. President, it was not my intention to there manner; not but I likes that every man should trouble the assembly upon this occasion, but when I deliver his mind; I does mine; it has been ever my hear insinuations thrown out by gentlemen, where the way; and when a member opposes me I like him the interest of this country is so deeply concerned, I own better for it; it's right; I'm pleas'd; he can't please I cannot sit silent; and give me leave to say, sir, me more; it is as it should be; and though I'differ that there never came before this assembly a point of from the honourable gentleman in the flannel more importance than this; it strikes, sir, at the very night-cap over the way, yet I am pleased to hear him root, sir, of your constitution; for, sir, what does this say what he thinks; for, sir, as I said, it is always my motion imply? it implies that porter, a wholesome, rule to say what I think, right or wrong-[a loud domestic manufacture, is to be prohibited at once. laugh.] Ay, ay, gentlemen may laugh, with all my And for what, sir? for a foreign, pernicious commo- heart, I am used to it, I don't mind it a farthing; but, dity. I I had, sir, formerly the honour, in conjunction sir, with regard to that there motion, I entirely agree with my learned friend in the leather apron, to ex- with my worthy friend with the pewter pot at his pel sherbet from amongst us, as I looked upon lemons mouth. Now, sir, I would fain ask any gentleman as a fatal and foreign fruit; and can it be thought, this here question; Can any thing in nature be more sir, that I will sit silent to this? No, sir, I will put natural for an Englishman than porter? I declare, my shoulders strongly against it; I will oppose it Mr. President, I think it the most wholesomest liquor manibus totibas. For should this proposal prevail, it in the world. But if it must be a change, let us will not end here: fatal, give me leave to say, will, change it for rum, a wholesome palatable liquor, a I foresee, be the issue; and I shan't be surprised in liquor that-in short, Mr. President, I don't know a few days, to hear from the same quarter, a motion such a liquor. Ay, gentlemen may stare; I say, and for the expulsion of gin, and a premium for the im-I say it upon my conscience, I don't know such a portation of whiskey. [4 hum of approbation, with liquor. Besides, I think there is in this here affair a rignificant nods and winks from the other members. point of law, which I shall leave to the consideration

of the learned, and for that there reason, I shall take up no more of your time.

[He sits down, CATCHPOLE gets up.

me to my present height, from the humble employ ment of light your honour-A link boy.

Sir Will. A pleasant fellow.Whe were your parents?

Pres. Mr. Catchpole. Shift. I was produced, sir, by a left-handed maCatch. I get up to the point of law. And though, sir, I am bred to the business, I can't say I am pre-riage, in the language of the newspapers, betwELS pared for this question. But though this usquebaugh, an illustrious lamplighter and an eminent itinerant rat as a dram, may not (by name) be subject to a duty, and dog butcher.-Cat's meat, and dog's meatyet it is my opinion, or rather belief, it will be con- dare say, you have heard my mother, sir. sider'd, as in the case of horses, to come under the this happy pair I owe little besides my being, I shal article of dry'd goods-But I move that another day drop them where they dropt mein the street. Sir Will. Proceed this point be debated.

Slaught. I second the motion.

Shift. My first knowledge of the world I owe w

[CATCHPOLE gives a paper to the President, who school, which has produced many a great man; the

SIR WILLIAM WEALTHY and SHIFT.
Sir Will. Pray, sir, where was you born?
Shift. At my father's.

Sir Will. Hum!And what was he?
Shift. A gentleman.

Sir Will. What was you bred?

Shift. A gentleman.

Sir Will. How do you live?
Shift. Like a gentleman.

Sir Will. Cou'd nothing induce you to unbosom yourself.

avenues of the play-house. There, sir, leaning en mỹ extinguish'd link, I learn'd dexterity from pdkpockets, connivance from constables, politas and fashions from footmen, and the art of making and breaking a promise, from their masters. Here, s light me across the kennel.--I hope your honour will remember poor Jack.-You ragged rastal, I have no halfpence-I'll pay you the next time I see you.——————But, lack-a-day, sir, that time I saw seldom as his tradesmen.

Sir Will. Very well.

Shift. To these accomplishments from without the theatre, I must add one that I obtain'd withre

i

Sir Will. How did you gain admittance there! Shift. My merit, sir, that, like my link, threw a radiance round me.A detachment from the beat quarters here took possession, in the summer, country corporation, where I did the honours of e barn, by sweeping the stage, and clipping the candes There my skill and address was so conspicuous, procur'd me the same office the ensuing winter Drury-lane, where I acquir'd intrepidity; the mos of all my virtues.

Shift. Look'e, Sir William, there is a kind of some-it thing in your countenance, a certain openness and generosity, a je ne sçai quoi in your manner, that I will unlock: You shall see me all.

Sir Will. You will oblige me.

Shift. You must know then, that fortune, which frequently delights to raise the noblest structures from the simplest foundations; who from a tailor made a pope, from a gin-shop an empress, and many a prime minister from nothing at all, has thought fit to raise

}

Sir Will. How did you obtain that?

Shift. By my post. For I think, sir, he that dam stand the shot of the gallery in lighting, snusher as sweeping, the first night of a new play, may bed de ance to the pillory, with all its customary o ments.

Sir Will Some truth in that.

Shift. But an unlucky cab-apple, apply'd to my | Fleet-street. Friday I am to give the amorous parley of right eye, by a patriot gingerbread-baker from the two intriguing cats in a gutter, with the disturbing Borough, who would not suffer three dancers from of a hen-roost, at Mr. Deputy Sugarsops, near the Switzerland, because he hated the French, forced me to a precipitate retreat.

Sir Will. Poor devil!

Shift. Broglio and Contades have done the same. But as it happen'd, like a tennis-ball I rose higher from the rebound.

Sir Will. How so?

Shift. My misfortune, sir, mov'd the compassion of one of our performers, a whimsical man, he took me into his service. To him I owe, what, I believe, will make me useful to you.

Sir Will. Explain.

Shift. Why, sir, my master was remarkably happy in an art, which however disesteem'd at present, is, by Tully, reckon'd among the perfections of an orator-Mimickry.

Sir Will. Why you are deeply read, Mr. Shift. Shift. A smattering-But as I was saying, sir, nothing came amiss to my master. Bipeds, or quadrupeds; rationals, or animals; from the clamour of the bar to the cackle of the barn-door; from the soporific twang of the tabernacle of Tottenham-court, to the melodious bray of their long-ear'd brethren in Bunbill-fields; all were objects of his imitation, and my attention. In a word, sir, for two whole years, under this professor, I study'd and starv'd, im-1 poverish'd my body, and pamper'd my mind; till Linking myself pretty near equal to my master, I made him one of his own bows, and set up for myself.

Monument. So, sir, you see my hands are full. In short, Sir William, there is not a buck or a turtle devoured within the bills of mortality, but there I may, if.I please, stick a napkin under my chin.

Sir Will. I'm afraid, Mr. Shift, I must break in a little upon your engagements; but you shall be no loser by the bargain.

Shift, Command me.

[The Minor.

UNION OF VICE AND FANATICISM. SIR GEORGE, MRS. COLE, LOADER, and DICK. Mrs. C. Gently, gently, good Mr. Loader. Load. Come along, old Moll. Why, you jade, you look as rosy this morning, I must have a smack at your muns. Here, taste her, she is as good as old hock to get you a stomach.

me.

Mrs. C. Fye, Mr. Loader, I thought you had forgot

Load. I forget you! I would as soon forget what is trumps.

Mrs. C. Softly, softly, young man. There, there, mighty well. And how does your honour do? Ihan't seen your honour, I can't tell the-Oh! mercy on me, there's a twinge-

Sir Geo. What is the matter, Mrs. Cole?
Mrs. C. My old disorder, the rheumatise; I han't
been able to get a wink of
-Oh la! what, you

have been in town these two days?

Sir Geo. Since Wednesday.

Mrs. C. And never once call'd upon old Cole. Sir Will. You have been successful, I hope. No, no, I am worn out, thrown by and forgotten, like Shift. Pretty well. I can't complain. My art, sir, a tatter'd garment, as Mr. Squintum says. Oh, he is a passe-par-tout. I seldom want employment. is a dear man! But for him I had been a lost sheep; Let's see how stand my engagements. [Pulls out a never known the comforts of the new birth; no,pocket book.] Hum,-hum,-Oh! Wednesday at There's your old friend, Kitty Carrot, at home still. Mrs. Gammut's near Hanover-square; there, there, I What, shall we see you this evening? I have kept shall make a meal upon the Mingotti; for her lady-the green room for you ever since I heard you were ship is in the opera interest: but, however, I shall in town. revenge her cause upon her rival Mattei, Sunday evening at Lady Sustinuto's concert. Thursday I dine upon the actors, with ten templars, at the Mitre in

Load. What, shall we take a snap at old Moll's. Hey, beldam, have you a good batch of Burgundy abroach?

Mrs. C. Bright as a ruby; and for flavour! You know the colonel- -He and Jenny Cummings drank three flasks, hand to fist, last night.

Load. What, and bilk thee of thy share. Mrs. C. Ah, don't mention it, Mr. Loader. No, that's all over with me. The time has been, when I could have earn'd thirty shillings a day by my own drinking, and the next morning was neither sick nor sorry: but now, O laud, a thimbleful turns me topsyturvy.

Load. Poor old girl!

Mrs C. Ay, I have done with these idle vanities; my thoughts are fix'd upon a better place. What, I suppose, Mr. Loader, you will be for your old friend the black-ey'd girl, from Rosemary-lane. Ha, ha! Well, 'tis a merry little tit. A thousand pities she's such a reprobate!- -But she'll meud; her time is not come: all shall have their call, as Mr. Squintum says, sooner or later; regeneration is not the work of a day. No, no, no.- -Oh!

Sir Geo. Not worse, I hope.

Mrs. C. Rack, rack, gnaw, gnaw, never easy, abed or up, all's one. Pray, honest friend, have you any clary, or mintwater in the house?

Dick. A case of French drams.

Sir Geo. Nay, don't weep, Mrs. Cole. Load. May I lose deal, with an honow € if old Moll does not bring tears into my tys. Mrs. C. However, it is a comfort after a one has passed thro' the world with credit and ter. Ay, a good name, as Mr. Squintum better than a gallipot of ointment.

Enter DICK with a dram.
Load. Come, haste, Dick, haste;
Here, Moll, shall I fill thee a bumper!
Mrs. C. Hold, hold, Mr. Loader! Heaven help
I could as soon swallow the Thames. Only at
keep the gout out of my stomach.

Load. Why then, here's to thee-Levant me, it is supernaculum. Speak when you have e

Mrs. C. I won't trouble you for the pizs, my hands do so tremble and shake, I shall bat good creature.

Load. Well pull'd. But now to bese
Pr'ythee, Moll, did not I see a tight your
a linen gown, knock at your door this morning
Mrs. C. Ay; a young thing from the easy.
Load. Could we not get a peep at her

ing?

Mrs. C. Impossible! She is engaged to St Mrs. C. Heaven defend me! I would not touch a Totter. I have taken earnest for her then dram for the world.

Sir Geo. They are but cordials, Mrs. Cole. Fetch 'em, you blockhead. [Ex. Dick. Mrs. C. Ay, I am a going; a wasting and a wasting, Sir George. What will become of the house when I am gone, heaven knows.--No-When people are miss'd, then they are mourned. Sixteen years have I liv'd in the Garden, comfortably and creditably; and, tho' I say it, could have got bail any hour of the day. Reputable tradesmen, Sir George, neighbours, Mr. Loader knows; no knock me down doings in my house. A set of regular, sedate, sober customers. No rioters. Sixteen did I say-Ay, eighteen years I have paid scot and lot in the parish of St. Paul's, and during the whole time, nobody has said, Mrs. Cole, why do you so? Unless twice that I was before Sir Thomas De Val, and three times in the round-house.

months.

Load. Pho, what signifies such a fell as dar Tip him an old trader, and give her to the k Mrs. C. Tip him an old trader Mery s where do you expect to go to when you de Loader ?

Load. Crop me, but this Squintum has tur brains.

Sir Geo. Nay, Mr. Loader, I think the ge has wrought a most happy reformation.

Mrs. C. Oh, it was a wonderful work. The I been tossing in a sea of sin, without ru compass. And had not the good gentlen me into the harbour of grace, I must have against the rocks of reprobation, and have bee swallow'd up in the whirlpool of despart the precious instrument of my spiritual pract But however, Sir George, if your mind best q

young country thing, to-morrow night I believe I can

furnish you.
Load. As how!

Mrs. C. I have advertis'd this morning, in the register office, for servants under seventeen; and ten to one but I light on something that will do. Load. Pillory me, but it has a face.

Mrs. C. Truly, consistently with my conscience, II wou'd do any thing for your honour.

Sir Geo. Right, Mrs. Cole, never lose sight of that monitor. But pray, how long has this heavenly change been wrought in you?

Mrs. C. Ever since my last visitation of the gout. Upon my first fit, seven years ago, I began to have my doubts and my waverings; but I was lost in a labyrinth, and nobody to show me the road. One time, I thought of dying a Roman, which is truly a comfortable communion enough for one of us: but it wou'd not do.

Sir Geo. Why not?

Sir Geo. Wou'd you take another thimbleful, Mrs.
Cole?

Mrs. C. Not a drop-I shall see you this evening?
Sir Geo. Depend upon me.

Mrs. C. To-morrow I hope to suit you-We are to have, at the tabernacle, an occasional hymn, with a thanksgiving sermon for my recovery. After which, shall call at the register office, and see what goods my advertisement has brought in.

Sir Geo. Extremely obliged to you, Mrs. Cole. Mrs. C. Or if that should not do, I have a titbit at home, will suit your stomach. Never brush'd by a beard. Well, heaven bless you-Softly, have a care, Mr. Loader-Richard, you may as well give me the bottle into the chair, for fear I should be taken ill on the road. Gently-so, so!

[Exit MRS. COLE and LOADER, Sir Geo. Dick, show Mr. Transfer in--Ha, ha, what a hodge podge! How the jade has jumbled together the carnal and the spiritual; with what ease Mrs. C. I went one summer over to Boulogne to re-she reconciles her new birth to her old calling!-No pent; and, wou'd you believe it, the barefooted, bald-wonder these preachers have plenty of proselytes, pated beggars would not give me absolution, without I whilst they have the address so comfortably to blend quited my business. Did you ever hear of such a the hitherto jarring interests of the two worlds. set af scabby--Besides, I cou'd not bear their barbarity. Would you believe it, Mr. Loader, they lock up for their lives in a nunnery, the prettiest, sweetest, tender young things! -Oh, six of them, for a season, wou'd finish my business here, and then I shou'd have nothing to do, but to think of hereafter.

Load. Brand me, what a country!
Sir Geo. Oh, scandalous!

[The Minor.

ADVANTAGEOUS MODES OF BANKRUPTCY.
PILLAGE and RESOURCE.

Pil. Ay, take my word for it, Mr. Resource, in the whole round of the law, and, thank heaven, the dominions are pretty extensive, there is not a nicer road to hit than the region of bankrupts.

Res. I should have thought it a turnpike, for you see how easily even a country attorney can find it, Pil. Pshaw, what amongst manufacturers and

Mrs. C. O no, it would not do. So in my last Jlness, I was visited by Mr. Squintum, who stept in with his saving grace, got me with the new birth, and became, as you see, regenerate, and another crea-meagre mechanics fellows not worth powder and

shot; and yet these paltry provincials, master Resource, are often obliged to solicit my aid.

Res. Indeed!

Pil. Why, t'other day, a poor dog, over head and ears in debt, from the country, was recommended to me by a client: the fellow had scrap'd together all he could get, and came up to town, with a view of running beyond sea, but I stopp'd him directly.