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side, and gratitude on the other.
So, sir, let me
Enter SAM1. Sam. Sir, my lord says the writings are now ready, and his lordship and the lawyers are waiting for you and Mr. Egerton. Sir Per. Vary weel : we'll attend his lordship.– [Erit Sam.] I tell you, Charles, aw this conscientious refinement in politics is downright ignorance, and impracticable romauce; and, sir, I desire to hear no more of it. Come, sir, let us gang down and finish this business. Eger. [Stopping Sir Per, as he is going off.] Sir, with your permission, I beg you will first hear a word or two upon the subject. Sir Per. Weel, sir, what would you say? Eger. I have often resolved to let you know my aversion to this match—Sir Per. How, sir! Eger. But my respect, and fear of disobliging you, have hitherto kept me silent Sir Per. Your aversion your aversion, sir! how dare you use sic language till me? Your aversion .." sir, I shall cut the matter very short :consider, my fortune is nai inheritance; aw mine ain acquisition: I can make ducks and drakes of it; so do not provoke me, but sign the articles directly. Eger. I beg your pardon, sir, but I must be free on this occasion, and tell you at once, that I can no longer dissemble the honest passion that fills my heart for another woman. Sir Per. How ! another woman' and, you villain, how dare you love another woman without my leave? But what other woman—who is she Speak, sir, speak. Eger. Constantia. Sir Per. Constantia oh, you profligate ; what : a creature taken in for charity Aoser. Her poverty is not her crime, sir, but her misfortune: her birth is equal to the noblest; and
luxury, which will always set them up till the * bidder; so that if they can but get where withal *pply their dissipation, a minister may convert Political morals of aw sic voluptuaries intill a * that would sell the nation till Prester John, and ir boasted liberties till the great Mogul:—and this ortunity I shall lose by my son's marrying a varis beggar for love:-O ! confound her vartue ill drive me distracted. [Erit
reoph ANCY AND INDEPENDENCE contro ASTED Sir PrinTIN Ax Macsycopha Nor and SIDNEY
id. Sir Pertinax, your servant:—Mr. Tomlins me you desired to speak with me. ir Per., Yes, I wanted to speak with you upon a singular business. Maister Sidney give me your 3. – Guin it did nai look like flattery, which I st, I would tell you Maister Sidney, that you are onour till your cloth, your country, and till hunature. of Sir, you are very obliging. r Per. Sit you down, Maister Sidney —sit you * here by me.—My friend, I am under the est obligations till you for the care you have 1 of Charles.—The |..."; moral, political, that you have infused intill him, del the warmest return of gratitude both fra him frame. i. Your approbation, sir, next to that of my own tence, is the best test of my endeavours, and the st applause they can receive. Per. Sir, you deserve it—richly deserve it. now, sir, the same care that you have had of les—the same my wife has taken of her favourite tantia. And sure, never were accomplisho, knowledge or principles, social and religious, ed in till a better nature. 1. In truth, sir, I think so too. Per. She is besides a gentlewoman, and of as a family as any in this county. !. So I understand, sir. Per. Sir, her father had a vast estate ; the , he dissipated and * in feastings and - I
friendships, and charities, hospitalities, and sic kind of nonsense. But to the business. Maister Sidney, I love you—yes, I love you—and I have been looking out and contriving how to settle you in the world,—Sir, I want to see you comfortably and honourably fixed at the head of a respectable family; and guin you were mine ain son a thousand times, I could nai make a more valuable present till you for that purpose, as a partner for life, than this same Constantia, with sic a fortune down with her as you yourself shall deem to be competent, and an assurance of every canonical contingency in my power to confer or promote. Sid. Sir, your offer is noble and friendly : but though the highest station would derive lustre from Constantia's charms and worth, yet were she more amiable than love could paint her in the lover's fancy—and wealthy beyond the thirst of the miser's appetite—I could not—would not wed her. [Rises. Sir Per. Not wed her odswuns, man you surprise me !—Why so —What hinders Sid, I beg you will not ask a reason for my refusal —but, briefly and finally—it cannot be ; nor is it a subject I can longer converse upon. Sir Per. Weel, weel, weel, sir, I have done—I have done. Sit down, man;–sit down again;–sit you down.—I shall mention it no more ;-not but I must confess honestly till you, friend Sidney, that the match, had you approved of my proposal, besides profiting you, would have been of singular service till me likewise. However, you may still serve me as effectually as if you had married her. Sid. Then, sir, I am sure I will most heartily. Sir Per. I believe it, friend Sidney, and I thank you.-I have nai friend to depend upon but yourself. My heart is almost broke. I cannot help these tears. And, to tell you the fact at once— your friend Charles is struck with a most dangerous malady—a kind of insanity. You see I cannot help weeping when I think of it;-in, short—this Constantia, I am afraid, has cast an evil eye upon him.—Do you understand me? Sid. Not very well, sir. - Sir Per. Why, he is grievously smitten with the
Sir Per. Your lordship's most devoted. Lord Lum. Why, you stole a march upon me this morning; gave me the slip, Mac; though I never wanted your assistance more in my life. I thought you would have called on me. Sir Per. My dear lord, I beg ten millions of pardons for leaving town before you ; but you ken that your lordship at dinner yesterday settled it that we should meet this morning at the levee. Lord Lum. That I acknowledge, Mac.—I did promise to be there, I own. Sir Per. You did, indeed. And accordingly I was at the levee, and waited there till every soul was gone, and, seeeing you did not come, I coucluded that your lordship was gone before. Lord Lum. Why to confess the truth, my dear Mac, those old sinners, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, Sir Anthony Soaker, and two or three more of that set, laid hold of me last night at the opera; and, as the General says, “from the intelligence of my head this morning,” I believe we drank pretty deep ere we departed ; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! nay, if you were with that }. my lord, I do not wonder at not seeing your ordship at the levee. Lord Lum. The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fellow let me sleep too long for the levee. But I wish I had seen you before you left town ; I wanted you dreadful!y. Sir Per. I am heartily sorry that I was not in the way —but on what account did you want me? Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! a cursed awkward affair. And, ha, ha, ha! yet I can't help laughing at it neither, though it vexed me confoundedly. Sir Per. Vext you, my lord ' Zounds, I wish I had been with you : but, for heaven's sake, my lord, what was it that could possibly vex your lordship 2 Lord Lum. Why, that impudent, teasing, dunning rascal, Mahogany, my upholsterer.—You know the fellow Sir Per. Perfectly, my lord. Lord Lum. The impudent scoundrel has sued me up to some damned kind of a something or other in the law which I think they call an execution.
with a most insolent Politeness, besged iny P--
and informed me that I must not go into my own chaise. Sir Per. How, my lord! not intill your ain carriage? Lord Lum. No, sir; for that they, by order of the sheriff, must seize it, at the suit of a gentleman—one Mr. Mahogany, an upholsterer. Sir Per. An impudent villain Lord Lun. It is all true, 1 assure you: so you see, my dear Mac, what a damned country this is to live in, where noblemen are obliged to pay their debts just like merchants, cobblers, peasants, or mechanics—is not that a scandal, dear Mac, to the nation? Sir Per. My lord, it is not only a scandal, but a national grievance. Lord Lum. Sir, there is not another nation in the would has such a grievance to complain of. Now in other countries were a mechanic to dun, and tease, and behave as this Mahogany has done, a nobleman night extinguish the reptile in an instant; and that only at the expense of a few sequins, florins, or louis doors, according to the country where the affair happened. Sir Per. Vary true, my lord, vary true—and it is monstrous that a mon of your lordship's condition is not entitled to run one of these mechanics through the body, when he is impertinent about his money; out our laws, shamefully, on these occasiors, make jo distinction of persons amongst us. Lord Lum. A vile policy, indeed, Sir PertinaxBut, sir, the o has seized upon the house too, hat I furnished for the girl I took from the opera. Sir Per. I never heard of sic an a scoundrel. Lord Lum. Ay, but what concerns me most—I am fraid, my dear Mac, that the villain will send down Newmarket, and seize my string of horses. Sir Per. Your string of horses? zounds! we must revent that at all events: that would be sic an a agrace. I will despatch an express to town directly, put a stop till the rascal's proceedings. jord Zum. Pr'ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax. Sir Per. () : it shall be done, my lord. Lord Lum. Thou art an honest fellow, Sir Pertinax, on honour.
Sir PERTINAx Macsycopha NT, EGenton, Lord and Lady Lu MBE Rcount, and their daughter Lady Rodolphia.
Sir Per. Weel; but, Lady Rodolpha, I wanted to ask your ladyship some questions about the company at the Bath; they say you had aw the world there. Lady Rod. O, yes! there was a very great mob there indeed ; but very little company. Aw canaille, except our ain party. The place was crowded with your little purse-proud mechanics; an odd kind of queer looking animals that have started intill fortune fra lottery tickets, rich prizes at sea, gambling in Change-Alley, and sic like caprices of fortune; and away they aw crowd to the Bath to learn genteclity. and the names, titles, intrigues, and bon-mots of us people of fashion; ha, ha, ha! Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! I know them : I know the things you mean, my dear, extremely well. I have observed them a thousand times, and wondered where the devil they all came from ; ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Pray, Lady Rodolpha, what were your diversions at Bath 2 Lady Rod. Guid traith, my lady, the company were my diversion; and better nai, human follies ever afforded ; ha, ha, ha! sic an a mixture, and sic odditics, ha, ha, ha! a perfect gallimaufry. Lady Kunegunda M'Kenzie and I used to gang about till every part of this human chaos, on purpose to reconnoitre the monsters and pick up their frivolities; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! why that must have been a high entertainment till your ladyship. Lady Rod. Superlative and inexhaustible, Sir Pertinax ; ha, ha, ha! Madam, we had in one group, a peer and a sharper, a duchess and a pin-maker's wife, a boarding school miss and her grandmother, a sat parson, a lean general, and a yellow admiral ;
wrangling in fierce contention, as if the fame and fortune of aw the parties were to be the issue of the conflict. Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! pray, madam, what was the object of their contention ? Lady Rod. O ! a very important one, I assure you ; of no less consequence, madam, than how an odd trick at whist was lost, or might have been saved. Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Ridiculous! Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! my dear Rodolpha, I have seen that very conflict a thousand times. Sir Per. And so have I, upon honour, my lord. Lady Rod. In another party, Sir Pertinax, ha, ha, ha we had what was called the cabinet-council, which was composed of a duke and a haberdasher, a red-hot patriot and a sneering courtier, a discarded statesman and his scribbling chaplain, with a busy, bawling, muckle-headed, prerogative lawyer; all of whom were every minute ready to gang together by the lugs, about the in and the out meenistry ; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! weel, that is a droll motley cabinet, I vow. Vary whimsical, upon honour.— But they are aw great politicians at Bath, and settle a meenistry there with as much ease as they do the tune of a country dance. Lady Rod. Then, Sir Pertinax, in a retired part of the room—in a by corner—snug we had a Jew and a bishop— Sir Per. A Jew and a bishop;-ha, ha!— a develish guid connection that -and pray, my lady, what were they about ! Lady Rod. Why, sir, the bishop was striving to convert the Jew—while the Jew, by intervals, was shly picking up intelligence fra the bishop, about the change in the ineenistry, in hopes of making a stroke in the stocks. Omnes. Ha, ha, ha | Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! admirable admirable . I honour the smouse -hah it was develish clever of him, my lord, develish clever.