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you, you do offend. What is the meaning of this conduct, sir? neglect the levee –'sideath, sir, you what is your reason, I say, for thus neglecting the levee, and disobeying my commands ! Eger. [With a stified filial resentment.] Sir, I am not used to levees: nor do I know how to dispose of myself; or what to say, or do, in such a situation. Sir Per. [With a proud angry resentment.] Zounds! sir, do you nat see what others do? gentle and simple, temporal and spiritual, lords, members, judges, generals, and bishops; aw crowding, bustling, and pushing foremost intill the middle of the circle, and there waiting, watching, and striving to catch a look or a smile fra the great mon, which they meet wi' an amicable reesibility of aspect—a modest cadence of body, and a conciliating cooperation of the whole mon; which expresses an officious promptitude for his service, and indicates, that they luock upon themselves as the suppliant appendages of his power, and the enlisted Swiss of his poleetical fortune'; this, sir, is what you ought to do, and this, sir, is what I never once omitted for these five and tharty years, let who would be minister. Eger. [Aside.] Contemptible ! Sir Per. What is that you mutter, sir? Eger. Only a slight reflection, sir, not relative to you. Sir Per. Sir, your absenting yourself fra the levee at this juncture is suspeecious; it is looked upon as a kind of disaffection, and aw your countrymen are highly offended at your conduct. For, sir, they do not look upon you as a friend or a well-wisher either to Scotland or Scotchmen. Eger. [With a quick warmth.] Then, sir, they wrong me, I assure you ; but pray, sir, in what particular can I be charged either with coldness or offence to my country | Sir Per. Why, sir, ever since your mother's uncle, Sir Stanley Egerton, left you this three thousand o a year, and that you have, in compliance with will, taken up the name of Egerton, they think You are grown proud—that you have enstranged Yourself fra the Macsycophants—have associated with * mother's family—with the opposeetion, and with
Eger. The knave and the hocest man.
Sir Per. Pshaw rideeculous.
Eger. And he, who makes any other—let or *
of the North, or of the South—of the East, or to West—in place, or out of place, is an enemy to whole, and to the virtues of humanity.
Sir Per. Ay, sir, this is your brother's impodoctrine, for the which I have banished him wo fra my presence, my heart, and my forture—so will have no son of mine, because truly he to * educated in an English seminary, presume, utor mask of candour, to speak against his untive
or against my principles.
Fger. I never did—nor do I intend it. Sir Per. Sir, I do not believe you—I do not believe you. But, sir, I know your connections and associates, and I know too, you have a saucy lurking preJudice against your ain country: you hate it; yes, your mother, her family, and your brother, sir, have aw the same, dark, disaffected rankling; and by that and their politics together, they will be the ruin of you—themselves—and of aw who connect with them. —However, nai mair of that now ; I will talk at large to you about that anon. In the mean while, sir, notwithstanding your contempt of my advice, and your disobedience till my commands, I will convince you of my paternal attention till your welfare, by my management of this voluptuary—this Lord Lumbercourt, whose daughter you are to marry. You ken, sir, that the fellow has been my patron above these five and thirty years. Eger. True, sir. Sir Per. Vary weel. And now, sir, you see by his prodigality, he is become my dependent; and accordingly I have made my bargain with him : the ievil a baubee he has in the world but what comes hrough these clutches; for his whole estate, which as three implecit boroughs upon it—mark—is now n my custody at nurse; the which estate, on my wing off his debts, and allowing him a life rent of ive thousand pounds per annum is to be made over ill me for my life, and, at my death is to descend till e and your issue.—The peerage of Lumbercourt, on ken, will follow of course, So, sir, you see, were are three impleecit boroughs, the whole patrilony of Lumbercourt, and a peerage at one slapWhy, it is a stroke—a hit—a hit Zounds ! sir, mon may live a century and not make sic an hit oist. Eger. It is a very advantageous bargain indeed, t—but what will my lord's family say to it? Sir Per. Why, mon, he cares not if his family were v at the devil, so his luxury is but gratified —only thim have his race-horse to feed his vanity; his orridan to drink drams with him, scrat his o and tre his periwig, when she is in her maudlin hysteoft
Tom. Lady Rodolpha is come, sir, Sir Per. And my lord? Tom. Not yet, sir; he is about a mile behind, the servants say. Sir Per. Let me know the instant he arrives. Tom. I shall, sir. [Erit. Sir Per. Step you out, Charles, and receive Lady Rodolpha; and, I desire you will treat her with as much respect and gallantry as possible; for my lord has hinted that you have been very remiss as a lover. —So go, go and receive her. Eger. I shall, sir. Sir Per. Vary weel, vary weel —a guid lad : go, go and receive her as a lover should. [Erit Egerton.] Hah' I must keep a devilish tight hand upon this fellow, I see, or he will be touched with the patriotic phrenzy of the times, and run counter till aw my designs. I find he has a strong inclination to have a judgment of his ain, independent of mine, in aw political matters; but as soon as I have finally settled the marriage writings with my lord, I will have a thorough expostulation with my gentleman, I am resolved—and fix him unalterably in his political conduct.—Ah! I am frightened out of my wits, lest his mother's family should seduce him to desert to their party, which would totally ruin my whole scheme, and break my heart—A fine time of day for a blockhead to turn patriot—when the character is exploded, marked, proscribed ' Why, the common people, the vary vulgar, have found out the jest, and laugh at a patriot now-a-days, just as they do at a conjurer, a magician, or any other impostor in society.
Right honour ABLE rolly and has e rularren Y.
Sir PERTINAx and Lord Lumbercou ar.
hree or sour discontented patriotic depend
Lord Lum. Sir Pertinax, I kiss your hand.
Sir Per. Your lordship's most devoted. Lord Lum. Why, you stole a march upon me this morning; gave me the slip, Mac; though I never wanted your assistance more in my life. I thought you would have called on me. Sir Per. My dear lord, I beg ten millions of pardons for leaving town before you; but you ken that your lordship at dinner yesterday settled it that we should meet this morning at the levee. Lord Lum. That I acknowledge, Mac.—I did promise to be there, I own. Sir Per. You did, indeed. And accordingly I was at the levee, and waited there till every soul was gone, and, seeeing you did not come, I concluded that your lordship was gone before. Lord Lum. Why to confess the truth, my dear Mac, those old sinners, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, Sir Anthony Soaker, and two or three more of that set, laid hold of me last night at the opera; and, as the General says, “from the intelligence of my head this morning,” I believe we drank pretty deep ere we departed ; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Isa, ha, ha! nay, if you were with that }. my lord, I do not wonder at not seeing your ordship at the levee. Lord Lum. The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fellow let me sleep too long for the levee. But I wish I had i. you before you left town ; I wanted you dreadul!y. Sir Per. I am heartily sorry that I was not in the way —but on what account did you want me? Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! a cursed awkward affair. And, ha, ha, ha! yet I can't help laughing at it neither, though it vexed me confoundedly. Sir Per. Wext you, my lord ' Zounds, I wish I had been with you : but, for heaven's sake, my lord, what was it that could possibly vex your lordship 2 Lord Lum. Why, that impudent, teasing, dunning rascal, Mahogany, my upholsterer.—You know the fellow 2 Sir Per. Perfectly, my lord. Lord Lum. The impudent scoundrel has sued me *P to some damned kind of a something or other in the law which I think they call an execution.
him, my lord?
Lord Lum. Most liberally, most hi-rio, “ . there I thought the affair would have re-> should think proper to pay the scountre morning, just as I was stepping into e-oservants all about me, a follow, called. Fped up, and begged the favour of my s = threshed the upholsterer, aud of the thim, to go along with him upon a little - my Lord Chief Justice.
Sir Per. The devil
Lord Lum. And at the same instant, t. it to was accosted by two other very civil so.--> with a most insolent politeness, tess-is, a
| informed me that I must not go into my own 1xe. or Per. How, my lord! not intill your ain carriage 1 ord Lum. No, sir; for that they, by order of the its, must seize it, at the suit of a gentleman—one Mahogany, an upholsterer. ir Per. An impudent villain : ord Lun. It is all true, I assure you: so you see, dear Mac, what a damned country this is to live where noblemen are obliged to pay their debts just merchants, cobblers, peasants, or mechanics—is that a scandal, dear Mac, to the nation ? r Per. My lord, it is not only a scandal, but a »nal grievance. 3rd Lum. Sir, there is not another nation in the d has such a grievance to complain of. Now in - countries were a mechanic to dun, and tease, behave as this Mahogany has done, a nobleman textinguish the reptile in an instant; and that at the expense of a few sequids, florins, or louis , according to the country where the affair happer. Vary true, my lord, vary true—and it is trous that a mon of your lordship's condition is ntitled to run one of these mechanics through ody, when he is impertinent about his money; ur laws, shamefully, on these occasiors, make stinction of persons amongst us. rd Lum. A vile policy, indeed, Sir Pertinaxar, the scoundrel has seized upon the house too, furnished for the girl I took from the opera. per. I never heard of sic an a scoundrel. d Zum. Ay, but what concerns me most—I am , my dear Mac, that the villain will send down wmarket, and seize my string of horses. per. Your string of horses 2 zounds ! we must at that at all events: that would be sic an a re. I will despatch an express to town directly, a stop till the rascal's proceedings. d zon. Pr'ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax. Per. O ! it shall be done, my lord. d Lum. Thou art an honest ... Sir Pertinax, idiolour.
Sir Per. O' my lord, it is my duty to oblige your lordship to the utmost stretch of my abeelity.
BATH FAsh Ion ABLEs.
Sir ProTINAx MACsycopha NT, EGenton, Lord and Lady Lu Minercourt, and their daughter Lady Rodolph A.
Sir Per. Weel; but, Lady Rodolpha, I wanted to ask your ladyship some questions about the company at the Bath; they say you had aw the world there. Lady Rod. O, yes! there was a very great mob there indeed; but very little company. Aw canaille, except our ain party. The place was crowded with your little purse-proud mechanics; an odd kind of queer looking animals that have started intill sortune fra lottery tickets, rich prizes at sea, gambling in Change-Alley, and sic like caprices of fortune; and away they aw crowd to the Bath to learn genteclity, and the names, titles, intrigues, and bon-mots of us people of fashion ; ha, ha, ha! Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! I know them : I know the things you mean, my dear, extremely well. I have observed them a thousand times, and wondered where the devil they all came from ; ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Pray, Lady Rodolpha, what were your diversions at Bath 2 Lady Rod. Guid traith, my lady, the company were my diversion; and better nai, human follies ever afforded; ha, ha, ha! sic an a mixture, and sic odditics, ha, ha, ha! a perfect gallimaufry. Lad Kunegunda M'Kenzie and I used to gang about § every part of this human chaos, on purpose to reconnoitre the monsters and pick up their frivolities; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! why that must have been a high entertainment till your ladyship. Jady Rod. Superlative and inexhaustible, Sir Pertinax ; ha, ha, ha! Madam, we had in one group, a peer and a sharper, a duchess and a pin-maker's wife, a boarding-school miss and her grandmother, a sat parson, a lean general, and a yellow admiral ; ha, hā, ha! aw speaking together, and bawling and
wrangling in fierce contention, as if the fame and fortune of aw the parties were to be the issue of the conflict. Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! pray, madam, what was the object of their contention ? Lady Rod. O ! a very important one, I assure you; of no less consequence, madam, than how an odd trick at whist was lost, or might have been saved. Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Ridiculous! #. Lum. Ha, ha, ha! my dear Rodolpha, I have seen that very conflict a thousand times. Sir Per. And so have I, upon honour, my lord. Lady Rod. In another party, Sir Pertinax, ha, ha, ha we had what was called the cabinet-council, which was composed of a duke and a haberdasher, a red-hot patriot and a sneering courtier, a discarded statesman and his scribbling chaplain, with a busy, bawling, muckle-headed, prerogative lawyer ; all of whom were every minute ready to gang together by the lugs, about the in and the out meenistry ; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! weel, that is a droll motley cabinet, I vow.—Wary whimsical, upon honour.— But they are aw great politicians at Bath, and settle a meenistry there with as much ease as they do the tune of a country dance. Lady Rod. Then, Sir Pertinax, in a retired part of the room—in a by corner snug we had a Jew and a bisho Sir Per. A Jew and a bishop;-ha, ha!— a develish guid connection that -and pray, my lady, what were they about ! Lady Rod. Why, sir, the bishop was striving to convert the Jew—while the Jew, by intervals, was slily picking up intelligence fra the bishop, about the change in the meenistry, in hopes of making a stroke in the stocks. Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! admirable ! admirable 1 - I honour the smouses—hah it was develish clever of him, my lord, develish clever.