my own intentions, and care not what the wicked] I'm a breaking my heart--I think it as to keep think of them; but force me not to take advantage of a shop. sir John's good opinion of me, in order to shield myself from the consequences of your malice.

Char. Oh! I shall not stand in my own light: I know your conscience and your power too well, dear doctor!

Dr. C. Well, let your interest sway you. Thank heaven, I am actuated by more worthy motives. Char. No doubt on't.

Dr. C. Farewell, and think me your friend. [Exit. Char. What this fellow's original was, I know not; but from his conscience and cunning, he would make an admirable Jesuit.

THE ILLITERATE FANATIC.

DOCTOR CANTWELL, old LADY LAMBERT, and

SEYWARD.

Sey. Sir, Mr. Mawworm is without, and would be glad to be permitted to speak with you.

Old Lady L. Oh pray, doctor, admit him; I have not seen Mr. Mawworm this great while; he's a pious man, though in an humble estate; desire the worthy creature to walk in.

Enter MAWWORM.

-How do you do, Mr. Mawworm?

Maw. Thank your ladyship's axing-I'm but deadly poorish indeed; the world and I can't agree-I got the books, doctor-and Mrs. Grunt bid me give her service to you, and thank you for the eighteen-pence. Dr. C. Hush, friend Mawworm! not a word more ; you know I hate to have my little charities blaz'd about a poor widow, madam, to whom I sent my

mite.

Old Lady L. Give her this. [Offers a purse to Mawworm. Dr. C. I'll take care it shall be given up to her. [Puts it up. Old Lady L. But what is the matter with you, Mr. Mawworm ?

Maw. I don't know what's the matter with me

Old Lady L. Why, if you think it a sin, madres— pray what's your business?

Maw. We deals in grocery, tea, small-beer, charcoal, butter, brickdust, and the like.

Old Lady L. Well, you must consult with your friendly director here.

Maw. I wants to go a preaching.
Old Lady L. Do you?

Maw. I'm almost sure I have had a call.
Old Lady L. Ay!

Maw. I have made several sermons already,! does them extrumpery, because I can't write, now the devils in our alley says, as how my turned.

Old Lady L. Ay, devils indeed—but don't pa mind them.

Maw. No, I don't I rebukes thes. preaches to them, whether they will or not. We our house in lodgings to single men; and e I gets them together, with one or two of the righ bours, and makes them all cry.

Old Lady L. Did you every preach in par lic?

Maw. I got upon Kennington-common, the review day; but the boys threw brickbats at me in pinned crackers to my tail; and I have been a to mount ever since.

Old Lady L. Do you hear this, docar brickbats at him, and pinned crackers to be pun tail! can these things be stood by !

Maw. I told them so says I, 1 doe clandecently; I stand here contagious to un ty's guards, and I charge you upon your app

to mislist me.

Old Lady L. And it had no effect?

Maw. No more than if I spoke to som esses: but if he advises me to go a prears quit my shop, I will make an excressaace trá

the country.

Old Lady L. An excursion, you would w

Maw, I am but a sheep, but my bleating, sta

eard afar off; and that sheep shall become a shep-
erd: nay, if it be only as it were a shepherd's dog,
> bark the stray lambs into the field.
Old Lady L. He wants method, doctor.
Dr.C. Yes, madam; but there is the matter, and
despise not the ignorant.

Maw. He's a saint--till I went after him, I was
ttle better than the devil; my conscience was tanned
ith sin, like a piece of neat's leather, and had no
ore feeling than the sole of my shoe; always roving
ter fantastical delights: I used to go every Sunday
ening, to the Three Hats at Islington! it's a public-
use, mayhap, your ladyship may know it: I was
great lover of skittles too, but now I can't bear

m.

Old Lady L. What a blessed reformation !
Maw. I believe, doctor, you never know'd as how
was instigated one of the stewards of the reforming
ciety. I convicted a man of five oaths, as last
ursday was a seu'night, at the Pewter-platter, in
Borough; and another of three, while he was
ying trap-ball in St. George's-fields: I bought this
stcoat out of my share of the money.

d Lady L. But how do you mind your business? Jaw. We have lost almost all our customers; bese I keeps extorting them whenever they come the shop.

:

store by me, because we have words now and then; but as I says, if such was the case, would ever she have cut me down that there time as I was melancholy, and she found me hanging behind the door; I don't believe there's a wife in the parish would have done so by her husband.

Dr. C. I believe 'tis near dinner-time; and sir John will require my attendance.

Maw. Oh! I am troublesome-nay, I only come to you, doctor, with a message from Mrs. Grunt. I wish your ladyship heartily and heartily farewell; doctor, a good day to you.

Old Lady L. Mr. Mawworm, call on me some time this afternoon; I want to have a little private discourse with you; and, pray, my service to your

CONTRASTFD.

Sir PERTINAX MACSYCOPHANT and his Son
EGERTON.

ld Lady L. And how do you live? law. Better than ever we did while we were dly-minded, my wife and I (for I am married to kely a woman as you shall see in a thousand) Sir Per. Weel, sir! vary weel! vary weel! are d hardly make things do at all; but since this nat ye a fine spark? are nat ye a fine spark, I say? man has brought us into the road of the righte--ah! you are a--so you wou'd not come up till we have always plenty of every thing; and my the levee? goes as well dressed as a gentlewoman-we

Eger. Sir, I beg your pardon; but I was not very well: besides, I did not think my presence there

you, you do offend. What is the meaning of this conduct, sir? neglect the levee !-'sdeath, sir, you what is your reason, I say, for thus neglecting the levee, and disobeying my commands?

TTM

those who do not wish well till Scotland sir, the other day, in a conversation at diren your cousin Campbel M'Kenzie's, before a war g full of your ain relations, did not you pu Eger. [With a stifled filial resentment.] Sir, Ia total extinguishment of aw party, am not used to levees: nor do I know how to dispose national distinctions whatever, relative to of myself; or what to say, or do, in such a situation. kingdoms ?—[With great anger.] And, Sir Per. [With a proud angry resentment.] head-was that a prudent wish before so Zounds! sir, do you nat see what others do? gentle your ain countrymen?-or was it a filial languag and simple, temporal and spiritual, lords, members, hold before me! judges, generals, and bishops; aw crowding, bustling, Eger. Sir, with your pardon, I cannot and pushing foremost intill the middle of the circle, unfilial or imprudent. [With a most patriotr warmin and there waiting, watching, and striving to catch a I own I do wish-most ardently wish, for a wa look or a smile fra the great mon, which they meet tinction of all party; particularly that those of Ene wi' an amicable reesibility of aspect-a modest ca-lish, Irish, and Scotch, might never more he had dence of body, and a conciliating cooperation of the into contest or competition, unless, like lɔng ** whole mon; which expresses an officious promptitude thers, in generous emulation for one corr for his service, and indicates, that they luock upon themselves as the suppliant appendages of his power, and the enlisted Swiss of his poleetical fortune; this, sir, is what you ought to do, and this, sir, is what I never once omitted for these five and tharty years, let who would be minister.

Eger. [Aside.] Contemptible!

Sir Per. What is that you mutter, sir? Eger. Only a slight reflection, sir, not relative to you.

Sir Per. Sir, your absenting yourself fra the levee at this juncture is suspeecious; it is looked upon as a kind of disaffection, and aw your countrymen are highly offended at your conduct. For, sir, they do not look upon you as a friend or a well-wisher either to Scotland or Scotchmen.

Eger. [With a quick warmth.] Then, sir, they wrong me, I assure you; but pray, sir, in what particular can I be charged either with coldness or offence to my country?

Sir Per. Why, sir, ever since your mother's uncle, Sir Stanley Egerton, left you this three thousand pounds a year, and that you have, in compliance with his will, taken up the name of Egerton, they think you are grown proud-that you have enstranged vourself fra the Macsycophants-have associated with your mother's family with the opposection, and with

Sir Per. How, sir! do you persist ? Wiac! • Tá you banish aw party, and aw distinction bewus English, Irish, and your ain countrymer! Eger. [With great dignity of spirit I wash, sir.

Sir Per. Then damn you, sir, you are ai trae bet Ay, sir, you may look as angry as you will, but qu I say, you are nai true Scot.

,,

Eger. Your pardon, sir, I think he is the t
and the true citizen, who wishes equal t
merit and demerit of every subject of Gien lir➡
amongst whom I know but of two distincans
Sir Per. Weel, sir, and what are those
those?

Eger. The knave and the hocest man.
Sir Per. Pshaw! rideeculous.

Eger. And he, who makes any other-It
of the North, or of the South-of the Fas, e v
West-in place, or out of place, is an early
whole, and to the virtues of humanity.

Sir Per. Ay, sir, this is your brother's doctrine, for the which I have banished bin ir ~ fra my presence, my heart, and my fortunewill have no son of mine, because truly be 2*** educated in an English seminary, presume, star* mask of candour, to speak against his atin or against my principles.

1

Eger. I never did-nor do I intend it. Bir Per. Sir, I do not believe you-I do not believe 2. But, sir, I know your connections and associ13, and I know too, you have a saucy lurking prelice against your ain country: you hate it; yes, ar mother, her family, and your brother, sir, have the same, dark, disaffected rankling; and by that 1 their politics together, they will be the ruin of -themselves and of aw who connect with them. -However, nai mair of that now; I will talk at ge to you about that anon.In the mean while, notwithstanding your contempt of my advice, and ir disobedience till my commands, I will convince of my paternal attention till your welfare, by my agement of this voluptuary-this Lord Lumberit, whose daughter you are to marry. You ken, that the fellow has been my patron above these and thirty years. ger. True, sir.

Eger. I shall, sir.

Sir Per. Vary weel, vary weel;-a guid lad: go, it Per. Vary weel.And now, sir, you see by go and receive her as a lover should. [Exit Egerton.] rodigality, he is become my dependent; and ac- Hah' I must keep a devilish tight hand upon this ingly I have made my bargain with him: the fellow, I see, or he will be touched with the patriotic a baubee he has in the world but what comes phrenzy of the times, and run counter till aw my des gh these clutches; for his whole estate, which signs. I find he has a strong inclination to have a hree implecit boroughs upon it-mark-is now judgment of his ain, independent of mine, in aw poy custody at nurse; the which estate, on my litical matters; but as soon as I have finally settled off his debts, and allowing him a life rent of the marriage writings with my lord, I will have a housand pounds per annum is to be made over thorough expostulation with my gentleman, I am e for my life, and, at my death is to descend till resolved-and fix him unalterably in his political d your issue.-The peerage of Lumbercourt, conduct.-Ah! I am frightened out of my wits, lest en, will follow of course.- -So, sir, you see, his mother's family should seduce him to desert to are three impleecit boroughs, the whole patri- their party, which would totally ruin my whole scheme, of Lumbercourt, and a peerage at one slap and break my heart,-A fine time of day for a blockit is a stroke-a hit-a hit-Zounds! sir, head to turn patriot-when the character is exploded, may live a century and not make sic an hit marked, proscribed? Why, the common people, the vary vulgar, have found out the jest, and laugh at a patriot now-a-days, just as they do at a conjurer, a magician, or any other impostor in society.

It is a very advantageous bargain indeed, E what will my lord's family say to it? Per. Why, mon, he cares not if his family were the devil, so his luxury is but gratified:-only have his race-horse to feed his vanity; his to drink drams with him, scrat his face, and periwig, when she is in her maudlin hystend three or four discontented patriotic depend

RIGHT HONOURABLE FOLLY AND BASE FLATTERY.
Sir PERTINAX and Lord LUMBERCOURT.
Lord Lum. Sir Pertinax, I kiss your hand.