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you, you do offend. What is the meaning of this
conduct, sir? neglect the levee l—’sdeath, sir, you
—what is your reason, I say, for thus neglecting
the levee, and disobeying my commands !
Eger. [With a stifled filial resentment.] Sir, I
am not used to levees: nor do I know how to dispose
of myself; or what to say, or do, in such a situation.
Sir Per. [With a proud angry resentment.]
Zounds ! sir, do you nat see what others do? gentle
and simple, temporal and spiritual, lords, members,
judges, generals, and bishops; aw crowding, bustling,
and pushing foremost intill the middle of the circle,
and there waiting, watching, and striving to catch a
look or a smile fra the great mon, which they meet
wi' an amicable reesibility of aspect—a modest ca-
dence of body, and a conciliating cooperation of the
whole mon; which expresses an officious promptitude
for his service, and indicates, that they luock upon
themselves as the suppliant appendages of his power,
and the enlisted Swiss of his poleetical fortune; this,
sir, is what you ought to do, and this, sir, is what I
never once omitted for these five and tharty years, let
who would be minister. -
Eger. [Aside.] Contemptible !
Sir Per. What is that you mutter, sir?
Eger. Only a slight reflection, sir, not relative to
you.
Sir Per. Sir, your absenting yourself fra the levee
at this juncture is suspeecious; it is looked upon as
a kind of disaffection, and aw your countrymen are
highly offended at your conduct. For, sir, they do
not look upon you as a friend or a well-wisher either
to Scotland or Scotchmen.
Eger. [With a quick warmth.] Then, sir, they
wrong me, I assure you; but pray, sir, in what par-
ticular can I be charged either with coldness or
offence to my country? -
| Sir Per. Why, sir, ever since your mother's uncle,
Sir Stanley Egerton, left you this three thousand
Fo a year, and that you have, in compliance with
is will, taken up the name of Egerton, they think
Yo" a grown proud—that you have enstranged
volt to a the Macsycophants—have associated with
**her's family—with the opposection, and with

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Frer, I never did—nor do I intend it. Sir Per. Sir, I do not believe you—I do not believe i. But, sir, I know your connections and associo, and I know too, you have a saucy lurking preice against your ain country: you hate it; yes, is mother, her family, and your brother, sir, have the same, dark, disaffected rankling; and by that ! their politics together, they will be the ruin of -themselves—and of aw who counect with them. -However, nai mair of that now ; I will talk at !e to you about that anon. In the mean while, notwithstanding your contempt of my advice, and r disobedience till my commands, I will convince of my paternal attention till your welfare, by my agement of this voluptuary—this Lord Lumbert, whose daughter you are to marry. You ken, that the fellow has been my patron above these and thirty years.

ger, True, sir. a Per. Vary weel.—And now, sir, you see by rodigality, he is become my dependent; and acIngly I have made my bargain with him : the a baubee he has in the world but what comes igh these clutches; for his whole estate, which

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Tom. Lady Rodolpha is come, sir, Sir Per. And my lord? Tom. Not yet, sir; he is about a mile behind, the servants say. Sir Per. Let me know the instant he arrives. Tom. I shall, sir. [Erit, Sir Per. Step you out, Charles, and receive Lady Rodolpha; and, I desire you will treat her with as much respect and gallantry as possible; for my lord has hinted that you have been very remiss as a lover. —So go, go and receive her. Eger. I shall, sir. Sir Per. Vary weel, vary weel;-a guid lad : go, go and receive her as a lover should. [Erit Egerton.] Hah! I must keep a devilish tight hand upon this fellow, I see, or he will be touched with the patriotic phrenzy of the times, and run counter till aw my deI find he has a strong inclination to have a

hree implecit boroughs upon it—mark—is now judgment of his ain, independent of mine, in aw poy custody, at nurse ; the which estate, on my litical matters; but as soon as I have finally settled Sir Per. Your lordship's most devoted. Lord Lum. Why, you stole a march upon me this morning; gave me the slip, Mac; though I never wanted your assistance more in my life. I thought you would have called on me. Sir Per. My dear lord, I beg ten millions of pardons for leaving town before you; but you ken that your lordship at dinner yesterday settled it that we should meet this morning at the levee. Lord Lum. That I acknowledge, Mac.—I did promise to be there, I own. Sir Per. You did, indeed. And accordingly I was at the levee, and waited there till every soul was gone, and, seeeing you did not come, I concluded that your lordship was gone before. Lord Lum. Why to confess the truth, my dear Mac, those old sinners, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, Sir Anthony Soaker, and two or three more of that set, laid hold of me last night at the opera; and, as the General says, “from the intelligence of my head this morning,” I believe we drank pretty deep ere we departed ; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! nay, if you were with that }. my lord, I do not wonder at not seeing your ordship at the levee. Lord Lum. The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fellow let me sleep too long for the levee. But I wish I had i. you before you left town ; I wanted you dreadulty. Sir Per. I am heartily sorry that I was not in the way —but on what account did you want me? Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! a cursed awkward affair. And, ha, ha, ha! yet I can't help laughing at it neither, though it vexed me confoundedly. Sir Per. Vext you, my lord ' Zounds, I wish I had been with you : but, for heaven's sake, my lord, what was it that could possibly vex your lordship 2 Lord Lum. Why, that impudent, teasing, dunning rascal, Mahogany, my upholsterer.—You know the fellow 2 Sir Per. Perfectly, my lord. Lord Lum. The impudent scoundrel has sued me "Poo some damned kind of a-—something or other *** law which I think they call an execution.

ng off his debts, and allowing him a life rent of housand pounds per annum is to be made over le for my life, and, at my death is to descend till nd your issue.—The peerage of Lumbercourt, ten, will follow of course. So, sir, you see, are three impleecit boroughs, the whole patriof Lumbercourt, and a peerage at one slap, it is a stroke—a hit—a hit Zounds ! sir, on may live a century and not make sic an hit

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|the marriage writings with my lord, I will have a

thorough expostulation with my gentleman, I am resolved—and fix him unalterably in his political conduct.—Ah ! I am frightened out of my wits, lest his mother's family should seduce him to desert to their party, which would totally ruin my whole scheme, and break my heart-A fine time of day for a blockhead to turn patriot—when the character is exploded, marked, proscribed Why, the common people, the vary vulgar, have found out the jest, and laugh at a patriot now-a-days, just as they do at a conjurer, a magician, or any other impostor in society.

RIG fit no Nou RABLE Fol LY AND BASE FLATTERY. Sir PERTINAx and Lord Lu MBERcount. Lord Lum. Sir Pertinax, I kiss your hand.

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dinsormed me that I must not go into my own use.

or Per. How, my lord! not intill your ain carriage 7 ord Lum. No, sir; for that they, by order of the off, must seize it, at the suit of a gentleman—one Mahogany, an upholsterer. ir Per. An impudent villain ord Lun. It is all true, I assure you: so you see, dear Mac, what a damned country this is to live where noblemen are obliged to pay their debts just merchants, cobblers, peasants, or mechanics—is that a scandal, dear Mac, to the nation ? r Per. My lord, it is not only a scandal, but a inal grievance. ord Lum. Sir, there is not another nation in the d has such a grievance to complain of Now in countries were a mechanic to dun, and tease, behave as this Mahogany has done, a nobleman it extinguish the reptile in an instant; and that at the expense of a few sequins, florins, or louis jories to the country where the affair hap

Per. Vary true, my lord, vary true—and it is trous that a mon of your lordship's condition is attled to run one of these mechanics through ody, when he is impertinent about his money; ur laws, shamefully, on these occasiors, make stinction of persons amongst us. "d Lum. A vile policy, indeed, Sir Pertinaxsir, the o: seized upon the house too,

furnished for the girl I took from the opera. Per. I never heard of sic an a scoundrel. d Alum. Ay, but what concerns me most—I am my dear Mac, that the villain will send down wmarket, and seize my string of horses. Per. Your string of horses 2 zounds! we must it that at all events: that would be sic an a •e. I will despatch an express to town directly, a stop till the rascal's proceedings. ! s.r.o. Pr'ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax. "er. O ! it shall be done, my lord. Lum. Thou art an honest o Sir Pertinax, onour

Sir Per. O' my lord, it is my duty to oblige your lordship to the utmost stretch of my abeelity.

BATH FASHIONABLEs.

Sir PERTINAx Macsycopha NT, Egenton, Lord and Lady Lux bencourt, and their daughter Lady Rodolph A. Sir Per. Weel; but, Lady Rodolpha, I wanted to ask your ladyship some questions about the com: pany at the Bath; they say you had aw the world there. Jady Rod. O, yes! there was a very great mob

there indeed ; but very little company. Aw canaille,

except our ain party. The place was crowded with your little, purse-proud mechanics; an odd kind of queer looking animals that have started intill fortune fra lottery tickets, rich prizes at sea, gambling in Change-Alley, and sic like caprices of fortune; and away they aw crowd to the Bath to learn genteelity, and the names, titles, intrigues, and bon-mots of us people of fashion; ha, ha, ha! Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! I know them : I know the things you mean, my dear, extremely well. I have observed them a thousand times, and wondered where the devil they all came from ; ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Pray, Lady Rodolpha, what were your diversions at Bath 2 Lady Rod. Guid traith, my lady, the company were my diversion; and better nai, human follies ever afforded; ha, ha, ha! sic an a mixture, and sic oddities, ha, ha, ha! a perfect gallimaufry. o Kunegunda M'Kenzie and I used to gang about till

every part of this human chaos, on purpose to recon

noitre the monsters and pick up their frivolities; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! why that must have been a high entertainment till your ladyship. Hady Rod. Superlative and inexhaustible, Sir Pertinax ; ha, ha, ha! Madam, we had in one group, a peer and a sharper, a duchess and a pin-maker's wife, a boarding-school miss and her grandmother, a fat parson, a lean general, and a yellow admiral ; ha, hā, ha! aw speaking together, and bawling and

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auctioneer, schoolmaster, engraver, watch-maker,
sign-painter, &c. &c. Talking of signs puts me in
mind of the zodiac.—You must know I am allowed
to possess some knowledge of the sciences; globes,
terrestrial and celestia!, telescopes, and household
furniture;—understand all sorts of fixtures, magnets,
marble slabs, polar stars, and corner cupboards.
Beau. Damn the sellow !—he has travelled over
both hemispheres, and now fixed himself in a corner
cupboard But pray, what may your business be
with me, sir? - -
Quo. My business is that of my father's, as Shak-
speare says; but my reason for attending you is—
talking of reason, puts me in mind of the man in
Bedlam, who swore all mankind were mad, for they
had locked him up, and he could not divine the
cause; now this man, as the poet says, had “cool
reason on his side.” Talking of side, puts me in mind
of myself—I am beside myself—that is, I threw
myself beside you, to express how much I am “your
humble servant,” as Dryden says.
Beau. A mighty expressive sentence, truly, Mr.
Quotem.
Quo. Captain, I shall be happy to serve you on all
occasions—I can Inake or mend pumps, or windows,
paint o: or carriages, repair watches or
weather-glasses—in short, (as a great author, says,)
“I’m up to every thing.” Talking of every thing, I
write ballads and epitaphs; cut tombstones and sell
coslin furniture—shall be glad to serve you with any
of the last articles at the lowest price, as the poet
says.
Beau. I hope I sha'nt trouble you for any of the
last articles soon, Mr. Quotem;-your town of Wind-
sor is very wholesome.
Quo. The air is salubrious, and the fields look
green, as Pope says. Yet somehow or other people
drop away very speedily.
Beau. Why you seem the very picture of health.
Quo. That is chiefly owing to a part of my pro-
fession—or rather my father's profession, at which I
always assist.
Bcau. What's that ?

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