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you, you do offend. What is the meaning of this those who do not wish well till Scotland: besides

, conduct, sir ? neglect the levee —'sdeath, sir, you sir, the other day, in a conversation at dinner at staat

-what is your reason, I say, for thus neglecting cousin Campbell V*Kenzie's, before a whole cable the levee, and disobeying my commands ?

full of your ain relations, did not you pubiich vad Eger. [With a stifted filial resentment.] Sir, I a total extinguishment of aw party, and a * am not used to levees: nor do I know how to dispose national distinctions whatever, relative to the time of myself; or what to say, or do, in such a situation. kingdums?-(With great anger.) And, you

Sir Per. (With a proud angry resentment.] head was that a prudent wish before so many del Zounds! sir, do you nat see what others do ? gentle your ain countrymen ?-or was it a filial language 23 and simple, temporal and spiritual, lords, members, hold before me? judges, generals, and bishops; aw crowding, bustling, Eger. Sir, with your pardon, I cannot thai and pushing foremost intill the middle of the circle, unfilial or imprudent. [With a most patriotic ramas and there waiting, watching, and striving to catch a I own I do wish-most ardently wish, for a total ct. look or a smile fra the great mon, which they meet tinction of all party; particularly that those of £2:: wi' an amicable reesibility of aspect-a modest ca- lish, Irish, and Scotch, might never more be bronte dence of body, and a conciliating cooperation of the into contest or competition, unless, like loving int whole mon ; which expresses an officious promptitude thers, in generous emulation for one common cause

. for his service, and indicates, that they luock upon Sir Per. How, sir! do you persist? What! more themselves as the suppliant appendages of his power, you banish aw party, and aw distinction betweia and the enlisted Swiss of his poleetical fortune; this, English, Irish, and your ain countrymen! sir, is what you ought to do, and this, sir, is what I Eger. [With great dignity of spirit. I would, never once omitted for these five and tharty years, let sir. who would be minister.

Sir Per. Then damn you, sir, you are nai true Scale Eger. (Aside.] Contemptible !

Ay, sir, you may look as angry as you will, but Sir Per. What is that you mutter, sir ?

I say, you are nai true Scot. Eger. Only a slight reflection, sir, not relative to Eger. Your pardon, sir, I think he is the true sent ; you.

and the true citizen, who wishes equal justice to Sir Per. Sir, your absenting yourself fra the levee merit and demerit of every subject of Great Brit at this juncture is suspeecious; it is looked upon as amongst whom I know but of iwo distinctius. a kind of disaffection, and aw your countrymen are Sir Per. Weel, sir, and wbat are those_wb Lt highly offended at your conduct. For, sir, they do those ? not look upon you as a friend or a well-wisher either Eger. The knave and the hocest man. to Scotland or Scotchmen.

Sir Per. Pshaw ! rideeculous. Eger. [With a quick warmth.] Then, sir, they Eger. And he, who males aay other lettem wrong me,


assure you ; but pray, sir, in what par- of the North, or of the South-of the East, om! ticular can I be charged either with coldness or West-in place, or out of place, is an enemy te offence to my country?

whole, and to the virtues of humanity. Sir Per. Why, sir, ever since your mother's uncle, Sir Per. Ay, sir, this is your brother's impada Sir Stanley Egerton, left you this three thousand doetrine, for the which I have banished him live pounds a year, and that you have, in compliance with fra my presence, my heart, and my furtose, his will, taken up the name of Egerton, they think will have no son of mine, because truly he k*** you are grown proud—that you have enstranged educated in an English seminary, presume, uple yourself fra the Macsycophants have associated with mask of candour, to speak against his nativa your mother's family--with the oppoveetion, and with or against my principles,

Eger. I never did nor do I intend it.

ents to abuse the ministry, and settle the affairs of Sir Per. Sir, I do not believe you—I do not believe the nation, when they are aw intoxicated; and then, you. But, sir, I know your connections and associ- sir, the fellow has aw his wishes and aw his wants, ates, and I know too, you have a saucy lurking pre- in this world and the next. judice against your ain country : you hate it; yes, your mother, her family, and your brother, sir, have

Enter TOMLINS. aw the same, dark, disaffected rankling; and by that

Tom. Lady Rodolpha is come, sir. and their politics together, they will be the ruin of Sir Per. And my lord ? you-themselves—and of aw who counect with them.

Tom. Not yet, sir ; he is about a mile behind, the However, nai mair of that now; I will talk at

servants say; large to you about that anon. In the mean while, Sir Per. Let me know the instant he arrives. sif, not withstanding your contempt of my advice, and Tom. I shall, sir.

(Erit. your disobedience till my commands, I will convince

Sir Per. Step you out, Charles, and receive Lady you of my paternal attention till your welfare, by my Rodolpha ; and, I desire you will treat her with as management of this voluptuary—this Lord Lumber- much respect and gallantry as possible ; for my lord court, whose daughter you are to marry. You ken, has hinted that you have been very remiss as a lover. sir, that the fellow has been my patron above these ---So go, go and receive her. five and thirty years.

Eger. I shall, sir, Eger. True, sir.

Sir Per. Vary weel, vary weel ;-a guid lad : go, Sir Per. Vary weel.And now, sir, you see by go and receive her as a lover should. [Erit Egerton.) his prodigality, he is become my dependent; and ac- Hah' I must keep a devilish tight hand upon this cordingly I have made my bargain with him : the fellow, I see, or he will be touched with the patriotic levit a baubee he has iu the world but what comes (phrenzy of the times, and run counter till aw my dehrough these clutches ; for his whole estate, which signs. 'I find he has a strong inclination to have a has three implecit boroughs upon it-mark-is now judgment of his ain, independent of mine, in aw poa my custody at purse; the which estate, on my litical matters ; but as soon as I have finally settled ving off his debts, and allowing him a life rent of the marriage writings with my lord, I will have a ive thousand pounds per annum is to be made over thorough expostulation with my gentleman, I am il me for my life, and, at my death is to descend till resolved—and 6x bim unalterably in his political e and your issue.-The peerage of Lumbercourt, conduct.-Ah! I am frightened out of my wits, lest ou ken, will follow of course. ----So, sir, you see, his mother's family should seduce him to desert to Dere are three impleecit boroughs, the whole patri- their party, which would totally ruin my whole scheme, 18ty of Lumbercourt, and a peerage at one slap -- and break my heart.-A fine time of day for a blockWhy, it is a stroke- hitma hit -Zounds! sir, head to turn patriot-when the character is exploded, mon may live a century and not make sic an hit marked, proscribed? Why, the common people, the

vary vulgar, have found out the jest, and laugh at a Eger. It is a very advantageous bargain indeed, patriot now-a-days, just as they do at a conjurer, a --but what will my lord's family say to it? magician, or any other impostor in society. Sir Per, Why, mon, he cares not if his family were v at the devil, so his luxury is but gratified only

RIGHT HONOURABLE FOLLY AND BASE FLATTERY. t him have his race-horse to feed his vanity; his fridan to drink drams with him, scrat his face, and

Sir PERTINAX and Lord LUMBERCOURT. to his periwig, when she is in her maudlin hyste*-and three or four discontented patriotic depend Lord Lum, Sir Pertinax, I kiss your hand.


Sir Per. Your lordship's most devoted.

Sir Per. The rascal! Lord Lum. Why, you stole a march upon me this Lord Lum. Upon which, sir, the fellow, by way morning; gave me the slip, Mac; though I never asking pardon, tia, ha, ha! had the moderno wa wanted your assistance more in my life. I thought on me two or three days ago, to inform you, you would have called on me.

ha, ha, ha! as he was pleased to digot: . Sir Per. My dear lord, I beg ten millions of par- the execution was now ready to be put iaituzx dons for leaving town before you ; but you ken that my honour; but that out of respect to

wa your lordship at dinner yesterday settled it that we as he had taken a great deal of my bouour's present should meet this morning at the levee.

he would not sufier his lawyer to serve it, the Lord Lum. That I acknowledge, Mac.- I did pro had first informed my honour, because be ve 24 mise to be there, I own.

willing to affront my honour; ha, ha, ha! 2 son Sir Per. You did, indeed. And accordingly I was a whore ! at the levee, and waited there till every soul was Sir Per. I never heard of so impadent a dee gone, and, seeing you did not come, I coucluded Lord Lum. Now my dear Niac, ba, ba, ba'2 that your lordship was gone before.

scoundrel's apology was so very satisfactory, 13 Lord Lum. Why to confess the truth, my dear information so very agreeable, I told him that a Mac, those old sinners, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, honour, I thought thai my honour could not dos Sir Anthony Soaker, and two or three more of that than to order his honour to be paid immedisleiz. set, laid to!d of me last night at the opera ; and, as Sir Per. Vary weel, vary weel, you were 23 e the General says, " from the intelligence of my head plaisant as the scoundrei till the full, I thoai, a this morning," I believe we drank pretty deep ere we lord. departed ; ha, ha, ha!

Lord Loom. You shall hear, you shall hear, Ma, Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! nay, if you were with that so, sir, with great composure, seeing a smart ? party, my lord, I do not wonder at not seeing your cudgel that stood very handily in a corner on lordship at the levee.

dressing-room, I ordered two of my fellows to Lord Lum. The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fellow the rascal, and another to take the rudyal nodreilet me sleep ton long for the levee. But I wish I had the scoundrelis civility with a govu druge strane seen you before you left town ; I wanted you dread- | as the stick lasted. fully.

Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! admirable! as guid 2 Sir Per. I am heartily sorry that I was not in the of humoar as ever I heard of. And dw ideas way :--but on what account did you want me ? him, my lord ?

Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! a cursed awkward affair. Lord I am. Most liberally, most liberalis. er. 3 And, ha, ha, ha! yet I can't heip laughing at it nei- there I thought the affair would have resird, ther, though it vered me confoundedlv.

shoald think proper to pay the scout!re); Sir Per. Text you, my lord ! Zounds, I wish I had morning, just as I was stopping into any chai been with you : but, for heaven's sake, ny lord, what servants all about me, a flow,called a lips25. was it that could possibly vex your lordship? ped up. and begged the favour of my foto:

Lord Lum. Why, that impudent, teasing, durning ihreshed the upholsterer, and of the two rascal, Mahogany, my npholsterer.-You know the him, to go along wish Lim upro a fituebas fellow ?

my i ord Chief Justice, Sir Per. Perfectly, my lord.

Sir Per. The devil! Lord Lam. The impudent scoundrel has sued me Lord Lm. And at the same instant, 1, in : up to some damned kind of something or other was accosted by two other very civil soupired in the law which I think they call on execution. with a most insoleal policeacs, begge sny priem

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dinsormed me that I must not go into my own use.

or Per. How, my lord! not intill your ain carriage 7 ord Lum. No, sir; for that they, by order of the off, must seize it, at the suit of a gentleman—one Mahogany, an upholsterer. ir Per. An impudent villain ord Lun. It is all true, I assure you: so you see, dear Mac, what a damned country this is to live where noblemen are obliged to pay their debts just merchants, cobblers, peasants, or mechanics—is that a scandal, dear Mac, to the nation ? r Per. My lord, it is not only a scandal, but a inal grievance. ord Lum. Sir, there is not another nation in the d has such a grievance to complain of Now in countries were a mechanic to dun, and tease, behave as this Mahogany has done, a nobleman it extinguish the reptile in an instant; and that at the expense of a few sequins, florins, or louis jories to the country where the affair hap

Per. Vary true, my lord, vary true—and it is trous that a mon of your lordship's condition is attled to run one of these mechanics through ody, when he is impertinent about his money; ur laws, shamefully, on these occasiors, make stinction of persons amongst us. "d Lum. A vile policy, indeed, Sir Pertinaxsir, the o: seized upon the house too,

furnished for the girl I took from the opera. Per. I never heard of sic an a scoundrel. d Alum. Ay, but what concerns me most—I am my dear Mac, that the villain will send down wmarket, and seize my string of horses. Per. Your string of horses 2 zounds! we must it that at all events: that would be sic an a •e. I will despatch an express to town directly, a stop till the rascal's proceedings. ! s.r.o. Pr'ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax. "er. O ! it shall be done, my lord. Lum. Thou art an honest o Sir Pertinax, onour

Sir Per. O' my lord, it is my duty to oblige your lordship to the utmost stretch of my abeelity.


Sir PERTINAx Macsycopha NT, Egenton, Lord and Lady Lux bencourt, and their daughter Lady Rodolph A. Sir Per. Weel; but, Lady Rodolpha, I wanted to ask your ladyship some questions about the com: pany at the Bath; they say you had aw the world there. Jady Rod. O, yes! there was a very great mob

there indeed ; but very little company. Aw canaille,

except our ain party. The place was crowded with your little, purse-proud mechanics; an odd kind of queer looking animals that have started intill fortune fra lottery tickets, rich prizes at sea, gambling in Change-Alley, and sic like caprices of fortune; and away they aw crowd to the Bath to learn genteelity, and the names, titles, intrigues, and bon-mots of us people of fashion; ha, ha, ha! Lord Lum. Ha, ha, ha! I know them : I know the things you mean, my dear, extremely well. I have observed them a thousand times, and wondered where the devil they all came from ; ha, ha, ha! Lady Lum. Pray, Lady Rodolpha, what were your diversions at Bath 2 Lady Rod. Guid traith, my lady, the company were my diversion; and better nai, human follies ever afforded; ha, ha, ha! sic an a mixture, and sic oddities, ha, ha, ha! a perfect gallimaufry. o Kunegunda M'Kenzie and I used to gang about till

every part of this human chaos, on purpose to recon

noitre the monsters and pick up their frivolities; ha, ha, ha! Sir Per. Ha, ha, ha! why that must have been a high entertainment till your ladyship. Hady Rod. Superlative and inexhaustible, Sir Pertinax ; ha, ha, ha! Madam, we had in one group, a peer and a sharper, a duchess and a pin-maker's wife, a boarding-school miss and her grandmother, a fat parson, a lean general, and a yellow admiral ; ha, hā, ha! aw speaking together, and bawling and


auctioneer, schoolmaster, engraver, watch-maker,
sign-painter, &c. &c. Talking of signs puts me in
mind of the zodiac.—You must know I am allowed
to possess some knowledge of the sciences; globes,
terrestrial and celestia!, telescopes, and household
furniture;—understand all sorts of fixtures, magnets,
marble slabs, polar stars, and corner cupboards.
Beau. Damn the sellow !—he has travelled over
both hemispheres, and now fixed himself in a corner
cupboard But pray, what may your business be
with me, sir? - -
Quo. My business is that of my father's, as Shak-
speare says; but my reason for attending you is—
talking of reason, puts me in mind of the man in
Bedlam, who swore all mankind were mad, for they
had locked him up, and he could not divine the
cause; now this man, as the poet says, had “cool
reason on his side.” Talking of side, puts me in mind
of myself—I am beside myself—that is, I threw
myself beside you, to express how much I am “your
humble servant,” as Dryden says.
Beau. A mighty expressive sentence, truly, Mr.
Quo. Captain, I shall be happy to serve you on all
occasions—I can Inake or mend pumps, or windows,
paint o: or carriages, repair watches or
weather-glasses—in short, (as a great author, says,)
“I’m up to every thing.” Talking of every thing, I
write ballads and epitaphs; cut tombstones and sell
coslin furniture—shall be glad to serve you with any
of the last articles at the lowest price, as the poet
Beau. I hope I sha'nt trouble you for any of the
last articles soon, Mr. Quotem;-your town of Wind-
sor is very wholesome.
Quo. The air is salubrious, and the fields look
green, as Pope says. Yet somehow or other people
drop away very speedily.
Beau. Why you seem the very picture of health.
Quo. That is chiefly owing to a part of my pro-
fession—or rather my father's profession, at which I
always assist.
Bcau. What's that ?

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