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WIFE.

Bear. What a devil of a fellow is this !

Dr. C. Ah! thou heavenly woman! Quo. Don't interrupt me, captain.

Lady L. Your hand need not be there, sır. Beau. Well, then, at six ?

Dr. C. I was adnriring the softness of this silk. Quo. At six, as the poet says, attend at the great They are indeed come to prodigious perfection in all Toom-auctioneer--knock down household goods— manufactures; how wonderful is human art! Here going, going, gone !—to my shop-cut tombstones- it disputes the prize with nature : that all this soft write epitaphs, to amuse niyself-set 'em to music and gaudy lusture should be wrought from the labours feed hogs-coop hens-drive ducks from the pond of a poor worm ! sunset-night comes on-shut up shop, school, and Lady L. But our business, sir, is upon another vestry-night curfew—go home-chimney corner subject : sir John informs me, that he thinks himself call my wife-stir fire-draw cork-smoke pipe-under no obligations to Mr. Darnley, and therefore quaff-crack joke-laugh-lie down—or, to make resolves to give his daughter to you. out time, “Wind up the clock," as Yorick says. Dr. C. Such a thing has been mentioned, madam; Thus ends the history of a day.

but, to deal sincerely with you, that is not the happiBean. Thank heaven his day is done, as the poet ness I sigh after ; there is a soft and serious excelsays--and here comes one to prevent his beginning lence for me, very different from what your stepanother.

Review. daughter possesses. AN HYPOCRITE'S ATTEMPT TO SEDUCE HIS FRIEND's heart to me.

Lady. L. Well, sir, pray be sincere and open your

Dr. C. Open my heart ! can you then, sweet lady, Enter DOCTOR CANTWELL AND LADY LAMBERT.

be yet a stranger to it ? Has no action of my life been Dr. C. Here I am, madam, at your ladyship’s com- able to inform you of my real thoughts ? mand; how happy am I that you think me worthy Lady L. Well, sir, I take all this, as I suppose Laily L. Please to sit, sir.

you intend it, for my good and spiritual welfare. Dr. C. Well but, dear Jady, ha! You can't con Dr. C. Indeed I mean your cordial service. crive the joyousness I feel at this so much desired Lady L. 1 dare say you do: you are above the interview. Ah! ah! I have a thousand friendly low, momentary views of this world. things to say to you: and how stands your precious Dr. C. Why, I should be so ; and yet, alas ! I find health! is your 'naughty cold abated yet ?' I have this mortal clothing of my soul is made like other scarce closed my eyes these two nights with my con- mens', of sensual Aesh and blood, and has its frailties. cern for you.

Lady L. We all have those, but yours are well Lady 1. Your charity is too far concerned for me. corrected by your divine and virtuous contemplations.

Dr. C. Ah! don't say so ; don't say so ; you merit Dr. C. Alas! madam, my heart is not of stone: I more than mortal man can do for you.

may resist, call all my prayers, my fastings, tears and Lady L. Indeed you overrate me.

penance to my aid ; but yet, I am not an angel ; I Dr. C. I speak it from my heart: indeed, indeed, am still but a man; and virtue may strive, but indeed I do.

nature will be uppermost. I love, you madam. Lady L. O dear! you hurt my hand, sir.

Lady L. Ah, doctor, what have you done to me? the Dr. C. Impute it io my zeal, and want of words trouble of my mind is not to be expressed. You have for expression : precious soul! I would not hurt you indeed discovered to me what, perhaps, for my own for the world: no, it would be the whole business of peace 'twere better I had never been acquainted with,

but I had not an opportunity to lay my heart open to Lady L. But to the affair I would speak to you about you. 2 6 3

Dr. C. Ah! do not endeavour to decoy my foolish

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heart, too apt to flatter itself. You cannot sure think Lady L. My husband, sir John. kindly of me!

Dr. C. Alas, poor inan! I will ans**t for . Lady L. Well, well, I would have you imagine Between ourselves, madan, your husband is wesi, I

can lead him by the pose any where. Dr. C. Besides, may I not with reason suspect,

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me ?

turn

[Sir John Lambert comes from bebised that this apparent goodness is but artifice; a shadow No, caitiff, I'm to be led no further. of compliance, meant only to persuade me from your

Dr. C. Ah! woman. daughter.

Sir J. Lady L. Methinks this doubt of me seems rather

this your sanctity ? this pour satis!

these your meditations! founded on your settled resolution not to resign her.

Dr. C. Is then my brother in a conspiraes squas I am convinced of it. I can assure you, sir, I should have saved you this trouble, had I known how deeply

Sir J. Your brother! I have been your friend you were engaged to her.

indeed, to my shame ; your dupe ; but your spel was Dr. C. Tears—then I must believe you -But

lost its hold : no more canting ; it will not xrveyes indeed you wrong me. I have myself pressed sir John to give Charlotte to young Darnley:

any longer. Lady L. Mere artifice. You knew that modest

Lady L. Now heaven be praised. resignation would make sir John warmer in your with me.

Dr. C. It seems you wanted an excuse lo per interest. Dr. C. No, indeed, indeed. I had other motives, you! Had I not been the weakest of married

Sir J. Ungrateful wretch! but why do I can't which you may hereafter be made acquainted with, and will convince you

never could have proved so great a villan. Get Lady L. Well, sir, now 11) give you reason to is it tells you, that if you stay much longer, i se!

of my sight, leave my house : of all my for gress why, at our last meeting, I pressed you so not be tempted to wrest you out of the basis of me warmly to resign Charlotte, Dr. C. Ah dear! ah dear!

law and punish you as you deserve Lady L. You cannot blame me for having opposed

AFFECTIONATE COURTSHIP. your happiness, when my own, perhaps, depended BETTY, CHARLOTTE, and DR. CASTT SIL

Det. Doctor Cantwell desires to be disse Dr. C. Spare me, spare me; you kill me with this madam. kindness.

Char. Let him come in. Lady L. But now that I have discovered my weak

Enter DOCIOB CAXTWILI. ness, be secret ; for the least imprudence

Your servant, sir.-Give us chairs, Betty, and Dr. C. It is a vain fear.

the room.-{Erit Betty)-Sir, there's a sexLaily L. Call it not vain ; my reputation is dearer can the ugly cur say to me lhe seems a 3"Ue to me than life.

zled. Dr. C. Where can it find so sure a guard ? The Dr. C. Look ye, young lady, I am alrad. ****grave austerities of my life will dumb-found suspicion, standing your good father's favour, 1 an 20 tb zs and yours may defy detraction.

you would desire to be alone with upon this arzer Lady L. Well, doctor, 'tis you must answer for my Char. Your modesty is pleased to be in the folly.

Dr. C. I'm afraid too, notwithstanding ali szy ra Dr. C I take it all upon myself.

deavours to the contrary, that you ealertan e par Lady L. But there's one thing still to be afraid of. bad opinion of me. Dr. C. Nothing, nothing,

Char. A worse, sit, of no mortal breathog.

upon it,

Dr. C. Which opinion is immoveable.

Char. Once in your life, perhaps, you may. Char. No rock so firm!

Dr. C. Nay, let us be plain. Would you marry Dr. C. I am afraid then it will be a vain pursuit, him? when I solicit you, in compliance with my worthy Char. You're mighty nice, methinks. Well, I would. friend's desire and my own inclinations, to become my Dr. C. Then I will not consent. partner in that blessed estate in which we may be a Char. You won't? comfort and support to each other.

Dr. C. My conscience will not suffer me. I know Char. I would die rather than consent to it, you to be both luxurious and worldly-minded ; and Dr. C. In other words, you hate me.

you would squander upon the vanities of the world, Char. Most transcendently.

those treasures which ought to be better laid out. Dr. C. Well, there is sincerity at least in your Char. Hum !-I believe I begin to conceive you. confession : you are not, I see, totally deprived of all Dr. C. If you can think of any project to satisfy virtue, though I must say I never could perceive in my conscience, I am tractable. You know there is you but very little.

a considerable moiety of your fortube which goes to Char. Oh, fie! you flatter me.

my lady in case of our disagreement. Dr. C. No; I speak it with sorro:v, because you Char. That's enough, sir.—You think we should are the daughter of my best friend. But how are we have a fellow feeling in it. At what sum do you rate to proceed now? are we to preserve temper? your concurrence to my inclinations that settled, I

Char. Oh! never fear me, sir, I shall not fly out, am willing to strike the bargain. being convinced that nothing gives so sharp a point Dr. C. What do you think of half? to one's aversion as good breeding; as, on the con Char. Ilow! two thousand pounds ? trary, ill manners often hide a secret inclination. Dr. C. Why, you know you gain two thousand

Dr. C. Well then, young lady, be assured so far pounds; and really the severity of the times for the am 1 from the unchristian disposition of returning in- poor, and my own stinted pittance, which cramps my juries that your antipatlıy to me causes no hatred in charities, will not suffer me to require less. iny soul towards you ; on the contrary, I would wil Char. But how is my father to be brought into lingly make you happy, if it may be done according this ? 10 my conscience, with the interest of heaven in Dr. C. Leave that to my management.

Char. And what security do you expect for the Char. Why, I can't see, sir, how heaven can be money? any way concerned in a transaction between you and Dr. C. Oh! Mr. Darnley is wealthy: when I

deliver my consent in writing, he shall lay it down Dr. C. When you marry any other person, my to me in bank-bills. consent is necessary.

Char. Pretty good security!-On one proviso Char. So I hear, indeed! but pray, doctor, how though. could your modesty receive so insolent a power, with Dr. C. Name it. out putting my poor father out of countenance with Char. That you immediately tell my father that

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you are willing to give up your interest to Mr. DarnDr. C. I sought it not; but he would crowd it ley. among other obligations. He is good natured ; and I Dr. C. Hum !--stay-I agree to it; but in the foresaw it might serve to pious purposes.

incan time, let me warn you, child, not to expect to Char. I don't understand you.

turn that, or what has now passed between us, to my Dr. C. I take it for granted, thai you would marry confusion, by sinister construction, or evil representMr. Daruley. Am I right?

ation to your father. I am satisfied of the piety of

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SEYWARD.

my own intencions, and care not what the wicked I'm a breaking my heart-I think it a sin to keep thiak of them; but force me not to take advantage of a shop. sir John's good opinion of me, in order to shield Old Lady L. Why, if you think it a sin, indeedmyself from the consequences of your malice. pray what's your business?

Char. Oh! I shall not stand in my own light: I Maw. We deals in grocery, tea, small-beer, charknow your conscience and your power too well, dear coal, butter, brickdust, and the like. doctor!

Old Lady L. Well, you must consult with you
Dr. C. Well, let your interest sway you. Thank friendly director here.
heaven, I am actuated by more worthy motives. Maw. I wants to go a preaching.
Char. No doubt on't.

Old Lady L. Do you?
Dr. C. Farewell, and think me your friend. [E.rit. Maw. I'm almost sure I have had a call.

Char. What this fellow's original was, I know Om Lady L. Ay! not ; but from his conscience and cunning, he would Maw. I have made several sermons already: 1 make an admirable Jesuit.

does them extrumpery, because I can't write ; 200

now the devils in our alley says, as how my bca's THE ILLITERATE FANATIC.

turned. DOCTOR CANTWELL, Old LADY LAMBERT, and

Old Lady L. Ay, devils indeed but don't yo mind them.

Maw, No, I don't rebukes them, and Sey. Sir, Mr. Mawworm is without, and would be preaches to them, whether they will or not. Welcome glad to be permitted to speak with you.

our house in lodgings to single men, and sometimes Old Lady L. Oh pray, doctor, admit him; I have I gets them together, with one or two of the brigt not seen Mr. Mawworm this great while; he's a bours, and makes them all cry. pious man, though in an humble estate ; desire the Old Lady L. Did you every preach in pabe worthy creature to walk in.

lic?
Maw. I

got upon Kerniagton-common, the 184 Enter MAWWORM.

review day; but the boys threw brickbats at me, ast -How do you do, Mr. Mawworm?

pinned crackers 19 my lail; and I have been afra Maw. Thank your ladyship’s axing - I'm but deadly

to mount ever since. poorish indeed ; the world and I can't agree-I got

Old Lady L. Do you hear this, doctor! Oro the books, doctor-and Mrs. Grunt bid me give her brickbats at him, and pioned crackers to his peurs service to you, and thank you for the eighteen-pence.

tail! can these things be stood by! Dr. C. Hush, friend Mawworm! not a word more;

Max. I told them so says I, I does you know I hate to have my little charities blaz'd clardecently; I stand here contagious to his szex about: a poor widow, madam, to whom I sent my ty's guards, and I charge you upon you appered '*** mite.

to mislist me. Old Lady L. Give her this.

Old Lady L. And it had no effect! [Offers a purse to Muwworm,

Vau. No more than if I spoke to so met peet. Dr. C. I'll take care it shall be given up to her.

esses : but if he advises me to go a preach

(Puts it up. quit my shop, I will make an excressance fuites Old Lady L. But what is the matter with

the country.

you, Mr. Mawworm ?

Old Lady L. An excursion, you would ssr. Maw, I don't know what's the matter with me Maw, I am but a sheep, but my bleatings shall

!

me

heard afar off ; and that sheep shall become a shep-store by me, because we have words now and then ; herd : pay, if it be only as it were a shepherd's dog, but as I says, if such was the case, would ever she to bark the stray lambs into the field.

have cut me down that there time as I was melanOld Lady L. He wants method, doctor.

choly, and she found me hanging behind the docs; I Dr.C. Yes, madam ; but there is the matter, and don't believe there's a wife in the parish would have I despise not the ignorant.

done so by her husband. Mow. He's a saint--till I went after him, I was Dr. C. I believe 'tis near dinner-time; and sir John little better than the devil; my conscience was tanned will require my attendance. with sin, like a piece of neat's leather, and had no Maw. Oh! I am troublesome-nay, I only come more feeling than the sole of my shoe ; always roving to you, doctor, with a message from Mrs. Grunt. I after fantastical delights: I used to go every Sunday wish your ladyship heartily and heartily farewell; evening, to the Three Hlats at Islington! it's a public. doctor, a good day to you. house, mayhap, your ladyship may know it : I was Old Lady L. Mr. Mawworm, call on a great lover of skiltles too, but now I can't bear time this afternoon; I want to have a little private them.

some

discourse with you; and, pray, my service to your Old Laily L. What a blessed reformation !

spouse. Max. I believe, doctor, you never know'd as how Maw. I will, madam; you are a malefactor to all I was instigated one of the stewards of the reforming goodness ; I'll wait upon your ladyship ; I will insociety. I convicted a man of five caths, as last deed : [Going returns) oh, doctor, that's true; Susy Thursday was a seu’night, at the Pewter:platter, in desired me to give her kind love and respects to you. the Borough; and another of three, while he was

[Exit. playing trap-ball in St. George's-fields : I bought this Dr. C. Madam, if you please, I will lead you into waistcoat out of my share of the money.

the parlour. Old Larly L. Put how do you mind your business? Old Lady L. No, doctor, my coach waits at the Maw. We have lost almost all our customers; be-door.

The Hypocrite. cause I keeps extorting them whenever they come

LOW AMBITION AND HONOURABLE FEELING to the shop. Old Lady L. And how do you live?

Maw. Better than ever we did : while we were Sir PERTINAX MACSYCOPHANT and his Son worldly-minded, my wife and I (for I am married to

EGERTON. es likely a woman as you shall see in a thousand) Sir Per. Vcel, sir! vary weel! vary weel! are rould hardly make things do at all; but since this nat ye a fine spark ? are nat ye a fine spark, I say? food man has brought us into the road of the righte-l-ah! you are a--so you wou'd not come up till ous, we have always plenty of every thing; and my the levee ? wife goes as well dressed as a gentlewoman-we Eger. Sir, I beg your pardon ; but I was not very have had a child too.

well: besides, I did not think my presence there Ou Lady L. Merciful !

was necessary. Mau. And between you and me, doctor, I believe Sir Per. (Snapping him up] Sir, it was necessary; Susy's breeding again.

I tauld you it was necessary, and, sir, I must now tell Dr. C. Thus it is, madam; I am constantly told, you that the whole tenor of your conduct is most hough I can hardly believe it, a blessing follows offensive. wherever I come.

Eger. I am sorry you think so, sir; I am sure I Maw. And yet, if you would hear how the neigh - do not intend to offend you. bours teviles my wife ; saying as how she sets no Sir Per. I care not what you intend-Sir, I tell

CONTRASTED.

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