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* Lord, Paul, what is't t” “Why give me something
for't;”
* This kiss and this.” “The matter's then in short,
The parliament have made a proclamation,
Which will this week be sent all round the nation;
That maids with little mouths do all prepare
On Sunday next to come before the mayor,
And that all bachelors be likewise there.
For maids with little mouths shall, if they please,
From the young men choose husbands two a-piece.”
Betty with bridled chin extends her face,
And then contracts her lips with simp'ring grace,
Cries, “Hem pray what must all the huge ones do
For husbands, when we little mouths have two t”
“ Hold, not so fast,” cries he, “pray pardon me,
Maids with huge gaping wide mouths must have
three.”
Betty distorts her face with hideous squall,
And with mouth a foot wide begins to bawl,
“Oh, oh, is't so?—The case is alter'd, Paul.
Is that the point I wish the three were ten ;
I warrant I'll find mouth, if they'll find men.”

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medir ATION on A rvovisc.

By Dr. Johnson.

Let us seriously reflect of what a puddin: so posed : it is composed of flour, that cost “” the golden grain, and drank the dews of to * —of milk pressed from the swelling eke 3 o' gentle ...s. the beauteous milk maid, wo" and innocence might have recommended : " : draught, who, while she stroked the udde, to no ambitious thoughts of wandering in Paxoi." no plans for destruction of her fellow-o-o-o: milk, which is drawn from the cow, to ** animal that eats the grass of the field, to.” us with that which made the greatest Pat “” “. of mankind in the age which the poetro **** to call golden. It is made with an er:, to * of nature which the theoretical Burnett soo" to creation. An egg contains within a ko smooth surface an unformed mass, *** * o bation of the parent, becomes a regular :nished with bones and sinews, and core "* feathers. Let us consider, can the “” wanting to complete the Meditation on Pmore is wanting, more may be found. * * salt, which keeps the sea from Putreforwhich is made the image of intellectual econtributes to the soundation of a Pudding.

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And leave all the rest of the work to the string.

Abstracted from the vicar.

i

Sober, he kept the formal path;
In’s cups, he's not the same man;
But reel'd and stagger'd in his faith,
And hiccup'd like a layman.

Vast many pretty things he spoke,
Deserving our attention ;

Not scripture fit to feed a flock,
But of his own invention:

Yet, whether truths said o'er his glass,
Of which I took great notice,

Were or in vino veritas,
Or'n verbo sacerdotis,

I could not tell ; yet praise was due, Though unto which to give it, vow I know not, of the two, he liquor, or the Levite, is scarlet cheeks inflam'd with drink, Together with his white head; £ade him appear just like a link, When at one end 'tis lighted. le drank in earnest, broke his jest, No seripture phrases utter'd ; he man he play'd, and not the priest, But put the best side outward. . Il drown'd at last in Bacchus' streams, The Levite's weak condition ull'd him to sleep, to dream strange dreams, Or see some wond’rous vision.

aluxTEER FIELD-DAY, AND SHAM FIGHT. blown up by valour, for glory to go, a lists just to learn how to handle a foe; ey dare 'gainst old England to lift up a paw it a harvest of laurels they'll reap from the war , 1 urged by the fair—the swains quickly run o: the knapsack and shoulder the gun ; many are the feats that the warriors do, he volunteer dinner, or a grand review. .. on.] Vel papa, says Miss Sophinishba SquintI can't see as how vy you vont let our John ldier; there's Mr. Taptub, the innkeeper's son,

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At parade then they mix, and sure such a set Of staunch hearted heroes before ne'er was met; Distinction and place are lost in the day, When their country commands to rehearse for a fray; In well formed ranks they are stationed all, The crocked, the dapper, the short, and the tall, The doctor, and butcher, 'like in front or van, And a tailor's on a level with the gentleman. Spoken.] And there they are all the noble souls in the parish, from Ben Bumper the bruiser, to little Sam Shuttle the weaver, and close in order; they look as even as a row of oak and gooseberry trees, or the lower jaw of an old woman, but fine to a man. There, then, is {ernal Screwenhall on the field, feathered like a mourning-coach horse. Attention—. excellent! Make ready—charge. Oh, oh, oh! what's the matter with Sergeant Pattypan. Why Corporal

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Dumpling has run his bagnet into my cartridge box.
Mr. Evergape, mind the word, sir—you are picking
your comrade's teeth with your bag.onette—fall in,
fall in. I am falled in, sir. Where? Why into the Pad.
dington Canal. Shoulder arms–O! shame, shame,
gentlemen, the wrong shoulder; so you must recover
arms, bravo, well disciplined. Stand at ease. I'll
be damned if I can stand at ease, you are so tall and
I am so short, you keep tickling my ear with your
E. Shoulder arms—good. Prime and load—
etter. Fire—pop, pop, pop, pop. , Never heard a
better fire; I've got twenty men in my company,
and I heard seventeen of them fire distinctly. What's
gone with the other three ?–Pop, pop, pop—there
they are all, O my I am so dry : I must have
summat to drink afore I goes into action again. Wh
you mustn't go now, its irregular. Well, we a'nt
regulars you know. You'll be shot for a deserter.
Pho! I shall go the back way to that house over the
way, the Marquis of Granby's Head. Mr. Hucka-
back, which is the back way to the Marquis of Gran-
by's Head 2 Up the nape of his neck, sir, I should
think. To prevent mischief, gentlemen, unfix bago-
nets. O, look at the kernal, the kernal / The gallant
colonel's horse, having never before smelt powder, at
the unexpected shock, released himself from his too
martial rider, by throwing him—not into the arms,
but on the heads of his valorous troop, who luckily
had, according to command, previously unfixed bayo,
nets: or else his charger's next visit to the churchyard
might have been with the colonel : but no such loss
to chivalry happened. With the exception of giving
Bill Alum a black eye with the point of his boot, and
tearing corporal Fribble's shirt-frill with his spur, all
was in statu quo. Hollo! where's Mr. Alamode
#. He says he won't stop any longer—he's af.
ronted;—he says, Mr. Sponge, the baker, fired off so
close to his ear, that he has singed off half his whis-
kers. The gallant colonel was about to harangue,
when a shower of rain prevented his stream of oratory,
and threw a damp on the spirits of the day. So they
Right about faced, and gallop'd away, -
Sans order, sans time, sans martial array;

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For the dinner it was ordered exactly to,
And to the hour it wanted but a minute of to
Their appetites whetted with fatiguestorial
Each eager and able his knife to wield,
The enemy appears—and they all let love,
Nor give a bit of quarter to turkey or to:
So valorous were they, and so great wer th-to- " -
That they did on the pastry, the pudur --

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And smile serene, like thine;- - - -t, The jest uncouth, or truth severe, . . . . . To such l’ll turn my deafest ear, * * - - And calmly drink my wine. . Thou say'st, not only skill is gain'd, o But genius too may be attain'd, *** -- " ----y studious imitation. - Thy temper mild, thy genius fine, . . . . . I'll copy till I make thee mine By constant applieation. The art of pleasing teach me, Garrick; Thou who reversest odes Pindaric A second time read o'er." Oh! could we read thee backward too, Last thirty years thou should'st review, And charm us thirty more. If I have thoughts, and can't express 'em, Gibbon shall teach me, how to dress 'em In terms select and,terse; Jones teach me modesty and Greek; Smith, how to think, Burke how to speak, And Beauclerc to converse. Let Johnson teach me how to place In fairest light each borrow'd grace; From him I'll learn to write: Copy his clear familiar style; And, from the roughness of his file, Grow, like himself, polite.

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----

Dialogue Between swift AND his LANdlord.

The three towns of Navan, Kells, and Trim, which lay in Swift's route on his first journey to Laracor, seem to have deeply arrested his attention, for he has been frequently heard to speak, of the beautiful situation of the first, the antiquity of the second, and the time-shaken towers of the third. There were three inns in Navan, cach of which claim to this day the honour of having entertained Dr. Swift / It is probable that he dined at one of them, for it is certain that he slept at Kells, in the house of Jonathan Belcher, a Leicestershire man, who had built the inn in that town on the English model, which still exists, and, in point of capaciousness and convenience, would not disgrace the first road in England. The host, whether struck by the commanding sternness of Swift's appearance, or from natural civility, showed him into the best room, and waited himself at table. The attention of Belcher seems so far to have won upon Swift as to have produced some conversation. “You’re an Englishman, sir?” said Swift. “Yes, sir.” “What is your name 2" “Jonathan Belcher, sir.” An Englishman and Jonathan too, in the town of Kells—who would have thought it ! What brought you to this country 2" “I came with Sir Thomas Taylor, sir; and I believe I could reckon fifty Jonathans in my family.” “Then you are a man of family?" “Yes, sir; I have four sons and three daughters by one mother, a good woman of true Irish mould.” “Have you been long out of your native country?” “Thirty years, sir”, “Do you ever expect to visit it again *" “Never.” “Can you say that without a sigh: " “I can, sir; my family is my country “Why, sir, you are a better philosopher than those who have written volumes on the subject: then you are reconciled to your fate 2" “ I ought to be so ; I am very happy; I like the people, and, though I was not born in Ireland, I’ll die in it, and that's the same thing.” Swift paused in deep thought for near a minute, and then with much energy repeated the first line of the preamble of the noted Irish statute—Ipsis Hibernis Hiberniores –" (The English) are more Irish than the Irish themselves "'

* Sir Joshua Reynolds.

f Alluding to Garrick,

in a whim, reading Cumberland's odes backward.

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