FORTY-FIVE.

. Barnard, being in conversation with Foote, ohnson, Sir Joshua Reynolds, and other disished characters, Barnard happened to say, at he thought no man could improve when past ge of forty-five." Upon this Dr. Johnson obd, that he (Barnard) was an instance to the ary; for there was great room for improvement m, and he wished he would set about it. ced the following elegant bagatelle from Dr. ard in the course of the next day; addressed Sir Joshua Reynolds, and Co."

I lately thought no man alive
Could e'er improve past forty-five,
And ventur'd to assert it:

The observation was not new,
But seem'd to me so just and true

That none could controvert it.

No, sir," says Johnson; " 'tis not so i
That's your mistake, and I can show
An instance if you doubt it.
You, sir, who are near forty-eight,
May much improve, 'tis not too late;
I wish you'd set about it."
Encourag'd thus to mend my faults,
turn'd his counsel in my thoughts,
Which way I should apply it :
Learning and wit seem'd past my reach,
For who can learn when none will teach?
And wit-I could not buy it.

Then come, my friends, and try your skill :
ou can inform me, if you! will,

(My books are at a distance.) Vith you I'll live and learn, and then nstead of books I shall read men;

So lend me your assistance.

Dear knight of Plympton,* teach me how o suffer with unruffled brow,

* Sir Joshua Reynolds.

This

And smile serene, like thineel at The jest uncouth, or truth severe, To such I'll turn my deafest ear,

And calmly drink my wine.
Thou say'st, not only skill is gain'd,
But genius too may be attain'd,

By studious imitation.
Thy temper mild, thy genius fine,
I'll copy till I make thee mine
By constant application.

The art of pleasing teach me, Garrick
Thou who reversest odes Pindaric

A second time read o'er.t
Oh! could we read thee backward too,
Last thirty years thou should'st review,
And charm us thirty more.

;

If I have thoughts, and can't express 'em,
Gibbon shall teach me how to dress 'em
In terms select and,terse;

Jones teach me modesty and Greek;
Smith how to think, Burke how to speak,
And Beauclerc to converse.

Let Johnson teach me how to place
In fairest light each borrow'd grace;
From him I'll learn to write :
Copy his clear familiar style;
And, from the roughness of his file,
Grow, like himself, polite.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN SWIFT AND HIS LANDLORD. The three towns of Navan, Kells, and Trim, which lay in Swift's route on his first journey to Laracor, seem to have deeply arrested his attention, for he has been frequently heard to speak, of the beautiful situation of the first, the antiquity of the second, and the time-shaken towers of the third. There were three inns in Navan, each of which claim to this day the honour of having entertained Dr. Swift! It is probable that he dined at one of them, for it is certain that he slept at

Alluding to Garrick, in a whim, reading Cumberland's odes backward.

wore to myself, and resolv'd I would try, Some way my poor heart to recover;

that was all vain, for I sooner could die Than live with forbearing to love her.

ar Celia! be kind then; and since your own eyes By looks can command adoration,

e mine leave to talk too, and do not despise Those oglings that tell you my passion.

'll look, and we'll love, and tho' neither should speak,

The pleasure we'll still be pursuing;

so, without words, I don't doubt we may make very good end of this wooing.

SWIFT AND THE EGGS.

CONGREVE.

Tell me no more I am deceiv'd,

That Chloe's false and common:
I always knew (at least believed)
She was a very woman:
As such I lik'd, as such caress'd;
he still was constant when possess'd,
She could do more for no man.
But, oh! her thoughts on others rau,
And that you think a hard thing;
Perhaps she fancy'd you the man,
And what care I one farthing?

You think she's false, I'm sure she's kind;
take her body, you her mind,
Who has the better bargain?

A LETTER GIVING AN ACCOUNT OF A PESTILENT NEIGHBOUR.

Sir,

LENT fellow in my neighbourhood, who is always You must give me leave to complain of a PESTIbeating MORTAR, yet I cannot find that he ever builds. In talking, he uses such hard words that I not gold that glisters. A pot he carries to most want a drugger-man to interpret them. But all is houses where he visits. He makes his 'prentice his GALLY slave. I wish our lane were purged of him. Yet he pretends to be a cordial man. Every spring his shop is crowded with country-folks; who by their leaves, in my opinion, help him to do a great deal of mischief. He is full of SCRUPLES, and so very LITIGIOUS, that he files bills against all his acquaintance.: and, though he be much troubled with the SIMPLES, yet I assure you he is a jesuitical dog; as you may know by his BARK. Of all poetry he loves the DRAM-A-TICK best.

I am, &c.

ON ITS BEING OBSERVED OF A CELEBRATED PUBLIC CHARACTER THAT THERE WAS FALSEHOOD IN HIS

VERY LOOKS.

That there is falsehood in his looks,

I must and will deny;

They say their master is a knave,

And sure they do not lie.

EPIGRAM.

Write injuries in dust, but kindness in marble. If the truth of this proverb is not to be slighted,' Your principles doubtless are just, Your kindness to me you in marble indited, Your injuries you wrote in the dust.

SWIFT'S PUNNING.

Nothing can more strongly show Swift's fondness for puns of all sorts, than an extract from one of his letters. "The Bishop of Clogher has made an if-pun that he is mighty proud of, and designs to send it over to his brother Tom: but Sir Andrew Fountain has written to Tom Ashe last post, told him

the pun, and desired him to send it over to the Bishop as his own; and if it succeeds, it will be a pure bite. I'll tell you the pun. If there was a hackney coach at Mr. Pooley's door, what town in Egypt would it be? Why, it would be Hecatompolis; Hack at Tom Pooley's. Silly!"

PROLOGUE

Spoken in the Character of a Sailor, on opening the New Theatre at North-Shields.

Holloa! my Masters! where d'ye mean to stow us? (Without.

We're come to see what pastime ye can show us.
Sall, step aloft-you sha'n't be long without me.
I'll walk their quarter-deck, and look about me.

[Enters.

Tom and Dick Topsail are above-I hear 'em ; Tell 'em to keep a birth; and, Sall-sit near 'em. Sall's a smart lass-I'd hold a butt of stingo In three weeks time she'd learn the playhouse lingo. She loves your plays, she understands their meaning: She calls 'em-Moral rules made entertaining. Your Shakspeare books, she knows 'em to a tittle; And I myself (at sea) have read-a little. At London, sirs! when Sall and I were courting, I tow'd her ev'ry night a playhouse sporting. Mass! I could like 'em and their whole 'paratus, But for their fiddlers and their damn'd sonatas. Give me the merry sons of guts and rosin, That play" God save the king," and " Nancy Dawson."

Well-tho' the frigate's not so much bedizen'd, [Looking about. 'Tis snug enough!-'tis clever for the size on't, And they can treat with all that's worth regarding On board the Drury-Lane or Common-garden. Bell rings.] Avast!-a signal for the launch, I fancy;

What say you, Sain, and Dick, and Doll, and Nancy?

Since they have trimm'd the pleasure-barge so tightly,

Shan't you, and I, and Sall, come see them nightly?

The jolly crew will do their best endeavours; They'll grudge no labour to deserve your faveum : A luckier fate they swear can ne'er behap 'e Than to behold you pleas'd, and hear you-cap

EPITAPH ON JUDGE BOAT.

Here lies judge Boat within a coffin, Pray, gentlefolks, forbear your scoffag, A Boat a judge? yes, where's the blunder? A wooden judge is no such wonder' And in his robes you must agree, No Boat was better deckt than be. 'Tis needless to describe him fuller, In short he was an able sculler.. SUPERFICIAL, IGNORANT, AND LEARNED BLADES. Readers may be divided into three classes; superficial, the ignorant, and the learned a have with much felicity fitted my pen to the g and advantage of each. The superficial tenint €. be strangely provoked to laughter, which cas the breast and the lungs, is sovereign ai ni spleen, and the most innocent of all curates Ta ignorant reader, between whom and the frant u distinction is extremely nice, will find t posed to stare, which is an admirable re ill eyes, serves to raise and enliven the and wonderfully helps perspiration. But the truly learned, chiefly for whose benet 1 when others sleep, and sleep when, ot'en v will here find sufficient matter to employ le culations for the rest of his life.