TRAVELLING AND PAINTING.

A connoisseur was one day criticising painters, who in historical pieces always draw the same sort of sky. They should travel," said he, "and they would see a different sort of sky in every country, in England, France, Italy, &c." "Tine said a gen

tleman who sat by, "I have travelled, and the greatest variety of skies I have observed is in Poland, for there is Sobiesky Sarbruusky, Jablanowsky, Poniatowsky, Borewlasky, and many more skies."

of no cards on board my wessel." "Well, tle, how do you like it?" "O, I like it wery , it is like sailing to Twickenham on a Sunday, t is a little broaderer, and a little more salterer."

Sir,

"Pretty well, thankee, how are you?" "O" Well, never mind, keep a good heart." "Keep— how nice we are going along; I do like it so; a man need have a stomach of iron, to keep any sick a bit: what a way we are from Dover al-thing, I think." "O dear, Molly, Molly, where's There, I do think I see the spires of Calais." my servant? I'm dying.' "So am I, ma'am, and ere-where?" Where, why at Calais, to be can't come." "How dare you be ill when I want "Well, sir, you have no occasion to be so you?" "Captain, Captain, bring me the brandy botI don't suppose you saw them at Deal." tle, I am going to go." Pray, Captain, was any king of deal, who's for a rubber ?" "I doesn't person ever lost here?" "No, sir, several's been drowned, but we always found them again." the next time you're taken so, I'd thank you to turn your head, you've quite spoilt my wife's pelisse, sir." "If people's taken suddenly ill, people can't help ould like to have a song; what do you think of other people's pelisses, sir." "Captain, could I lay torm?" "O, don't mention it." "Pa, sing down a bit ?" "Yes, sir, there's a bed below, there's ong you sung when we wert to Chelsea in the only three in it." Captain, my hat's overboard." "That funny was a wherry, my dear." "O," Never mind your hat, sir." I should'nt, but my why then it was wery funny," for wig is in it." "There's a whale." "A whale! where, where? I'd give a hundred guineas to see a whale; never saw a whale in all my life." 'No, sir, it's only a mispronounciation, sir, that's all; it's my wife's wail, what she wears over her vig, sir that's all." "O, is it." Then

s for Calais? the packets are waiting,
ne, take your places, or you'll be too late :
ith the Sybil, we've just got our freight in,
= wind and the tide for no one will wait.
weo, my hearties, now then we're going,
land's white cliffs we are leaving behind;
eo, my hearties, it stiffly is blowing,
1, we the quicker shall sail, never mind.
storms are coming on, we must be ready,
p a good look out ahead there, yeo, yeo;
ids a-boy, clear the decks, hold her steady,
lemen passengers scud down below.
ken.)-"
-"Oh! oh! I never was so ill in my
0." "Sarve you right, you would come a
ng, now you've got your belly full of it." "I
bad'nt come, I'm so giddy, the next time I go
re, I'll go the whole way by land."
Twizzle, he said he should enjoy it, see what
he's in."

"I say,

Yeo, yeo, my hearties, now then we're going,

England's white cliffs we are leaving behind;
Yeo, yeo, my hearties, it stiffly is blowing,

Well, we the quicker shall sail, never mind.
All stand aside, there, the tempest is clearing,
Slacken your foresail, for landing prepare:
Where is my quadrant? we Calais are nearing,

་་

The harbour's in sight, and the wind it blows fair,
Soon o'er a bowl we'll forget every danger past,
A true Dover lad values storms not a pin;
Our cargo is safe, we've our port safely reach'd at
last,

The tide flag is flying, and we can go in. (Spoken.)—“Tell me, Captain, can't you make "I say, Twizzle, how do you find the pier of Calais?" "Yes, and I can run foul of ? you seem very poorly." "O, O, O." the bar, too." No, I bar that," says Twizzle. "Ah! Pips, how do, Pips?" Where's the breakers?" "There, ahead." on of sickness) n to be hard at it there, I am going down," What's he say? break my head." "What's that ing up any thing for you?" "Who's for a the bar? dear me, I always thought it was a large on-chop?" "I was as well as ever I was in pole of iron." "And I always thought it was like 'till that fellow mentioned the mutton-chop." Temple Bar !" "Captain, how are we to go ashore,

CLERICAL LINGUIST

A curé of a large city in France was obliged, upon a certain festival day, to reply to a Latin discourse, but as he did not understand that language, he managed to get out of the scrape by observing, "The apostles, sir, spoke many languages; you have just addressed me in Latin, and I am going to answer you in French."

THE INVISIBLE HAIR.

A monk was showing the relics of his convent before a numerous assembly; the most rare, in his opinion, was a hair of the Holy Virgin, which he appeared to show to the people present, opening his hands as if he were drawing it through them. A peasant approached with great curiosity, and exclaimed, "but, reverend father, I see nothing." "Egad, I believe it," replied the monk, for I have shown the hair for twenty years, and have not yet beheld it myself."

PEREMPTORY CONCLUSION.

An advocate, whose pleading appeared too diffuse for the cause he was defending, had received an order from the first president to abridge it; but the former, without omitting a word of his intended address, replied, in a firm tone, that all he uttered was essential. The president, hoping at length to make him silent, said to him, "The court orders you to "Well," replied the advocate, I conclude that the court shall hear me."

conclude."

ADVANTAGES OF LOQUACITY.

"then

A very pretty woman, who was tediously loquacious, complained one day to Madame de Sevigué, that she was sadly tormented by her lovers. "Oh, madam," said Madame de Sevigné to her, with a smile, "it is very easy to get rid of them, you have only to speak."

"SPRETE INJURIA FORMÆ."

ARDUOUS BAPTISM.

An infant was brought for baptism into a county church. The clergyman, who had just been draag with his friends a more than usual quantum tr genial juice, could not find the place of the bapt in his ritual, and exclaimed, as he was teneg me the leaves of the book, "How difficult this chuld is t baptize!"

WOMAN'S LOVE.

Alas! the love of women! it is known
Fer all of theirs upon that die is torown,
To be a lovely and a fearful thing;
And if 'tis lost, life hath no more to brag
To them but mockeries of the past alone,
And their revenge is as the tiger's sprog,
Deadly, and quick, and crushing; yet as al
Torture is theirs, what they inflict they teel.
Thy are right for man, to man so oft unjust,
Is always so to women; one sole bond
Awaits them, treachery is all their trust.
Taught to conceal, their bursting bear's daym.
Over their idol, till some wealthier lust

:

Buys them in marriage-and what rests be;
A thankless husband, next a faithless love,
Then dressing, nursing, praying, and ali's et.
Some take a lover, some take diams or pray
Some mind their household, others dise
Some run away, and but exchange their car
Losing the advantage of a virtuous L'ita,
Few changes c'er can better their aðars

Theirs being an unnatural situatar,
From the dull palace to the dirty age! -
Some play the devil, and then write a Love.

NUMBER SEVIN

Dean Swift, in his Tale of a Tuè, falis 12 a this number. "It were much to be w he,) and I do hereby humbly propose for a It was mentioned one day to the duke de Roque-ment, that every prince in Christendom lance, two ladies of the court had quarrelled, and loaded each other with abuse. "Have they called each other ugly?" said the duke. "No, sir." "Very good! then I will undertake to reconcile them."

of the deepest scholars in his docudzes them up close for 7 years, in 7 chambe command to write 7 ample commestares comprehensive discourse. This number i

of the first two perfect numbers, equal and 7 of Saul's sons were hanged to stay a famine. Laal, 3 and 4 for the number 2, consisting of ban pursued Jacob 7 days' journey. Job's friends ed unity, which is no number, is not perfect: sat 7 days and 7 nights, and offered 7 bullocks and prehends the primary numerical triangle or 7 rams as an atonement for their wickedness. In and square or quartile, conjunction, considered the 7th year of his reign, King Ahasuerus feasted 7 favourers of planetary influence as of the days, and on the 7th deputed his 7 chamberlains to enign aspect. In six days creation was com- find a queen, who was allowed 7 maidens to attend and the 7th was consecrated to rest. On the her. Miriam was cleansed of her leprosy by being ty of the 7th month, a holy observance was shut up 7 days. Solomon was 7 years in building ed to the children of Israel, who feasted 7 days, the temple, at the dedication of which he feasted 7 emained 7 days in tents; the 7th year was days; in the temple were 7 lamps; 7 days were apd to be a sabbath of rest for all things; and pointed for an atonement upon the altar, and the end of 7 times 7 years commenced the grand priest's son was ordained to wear his father's gar. Every 7th year the land lay fallow; every ments 7 days. The children of Israel eat unleavened ar there was a general release from all debts, bread 7 days. Abraham gave 7 ewe-lambs to Abibondmen were set free. From this law may melech, as a memorial for a well. Joseph mourned riginated the custom of our binding young 7 days for Jacob. Naaman was cleansed of his 7 years' apprenticeship, and punishing in leprosy by bathing 7 times in Jordan. The Rabbins le offenders by transportation for 7, twice 7, say that God employed the power of this number to ree times 7, years. Every 7 years the law perfect the greatness of Samuel, his name answering be read to the people. Jacob served 7 years the value of the letters in the Hebrew word, which possession of Rachael; and also other 7. signifies 7: whence Hannah his mother, in her ad 7 days' warning of the flood, and was com- thanksgiving, says the barren hath brought forth 7. I to take the fowls of the air in by 7, and the In scripture are enumerated 7 resurrections: the easts by 7. The ark touched ground on the widow's son, by Elias; the Shunamite's son, by th; and in 7 days the dove was sent out, Elisha; the soldier who touched the bones of the ain in 7 days after. The 7 years of plenty, prophet; the daughter of the ruler of the synagogue; ears of famine, were foretold in Pharaoh's the widow's son of Nain; Lazarus; and our Lord. by the 7 fat and 7 lean beasts, and the 7 full The Apostles chose 7 deacons. Enoch, who was 7 blasted ears of corn. Nebuchadnezzar translated, was the 7th from Adam; and Jesus -ears a beast; and the fiery furnace was 7 Christ was the 77th in a direct line. Our Lord otter to receive Shadrach, &c. A man de- spoke 7 times on the cross, on which he was 7 hours; s, by the Mosaic law, unclean 7 days; the he appeared 7 times; and after 7 times 7 days sent f both animals was to remain with the dam the Holy Ghost. In the Lord's Prayer are 7 petiand at the end of the 7th was to be taken tions, contained in 7 times 7 words, omitting those By the old law, man was commanded to of mere grammatical connection within this number his offending brother 7 times; but the meek- are concealed all the mysteries of apocalypse rethe revealed law extended his humility to 70 vealed to the 7 churches of Asia. There appeared : if Cain shall be avenged 7 times, truly 7 golden candlesticks and 7 stars in the hand of him 70 times 7. In the destruction of Jericho, bare 7 trumpets 7 days; on the 7th they led the walls 7 times; after the 7th, the walls laam prepared 7 rams for a sacrifice; and

that was in the midst; 7 lambs before the 7 spirits of God; the book with 7 seals; the lamb with 7 horns and 7 eyes; 7 angels with 7 trumpets; 7 kings; 7 thunders; 7,000 men slain. The dragon

He raged like a bear, fore and aft, through the sh
Till over the cable his hap was to trip,
And his ballast being much over-light for his l
Right over the bow in the ocean he fell,
Derry down, &c.

Now Rubro had got, as you may well suppest,
By drinking of brandy a very fine nose-
A nose such as rarely is seen between eyes,
A nose that resembled a trumpet in size.
Derry down, &c.

This nose being red, it so shone in the dark,
That it quickly attracted the eyes of a shark.
And the shark, being pretty well up to his trade.
To make sure of the nose, he bit off the whack
Derry down, &c.

with 7 heads and 7 crowns; and the beast with 7
heads; 7 angels bearing 7 plagues, and 7 vials of
wrath. The vision of Daniel was of 70 weeks; and
the elders of Israel were 70. There are also 7 hea-
vens, 7 planets, (query?) 7 stars, 7 wise men, 7
champions of Christendom, 7 notes in music, 7 pri-
mary colours, 7 deadly sins, and 7 sacraments in
the catholic church. The 7th son was considered
as endowed with preeminent wisdom; and the 7th
son of a 7th son, is still thought to possess the
power of healing diseases spontaneously. Perfection
is likened to gold 7 times purified in the fire; and
we yet say you frightened me out of my 7 senses.
The opposite sides of the dice make 7, whence the
players at hazard make 7 the main. Hippocrates
says, that the septenary number, by its occult virtues,
tends to the accomplishment of all things, to be the
dispenser of life, and fountain of all its changes:
and, like Shakspeare, he divides the life of man into
7 ages; for as the moon changes her phases every
7 days, this number influences all sublunary beings.
The teeth spring out on the 7th month, and are shed" May your fate be a warning to low and te
and renewed in the 7th year, when infancy is changed Ne'er to guzzle too much when a neighbours
into childhood; at twice 7 years puberty begins; at May it teach them how leaky is life's clea
three times 7 the faculties are developed, and man- How slippery the decks, and that Death is a
hood commences, and we are become legally com-
Derry down, &c.
petent to all civil acts; at four times seven man is
in full possession of his strength; at five times 7 he
is fit for the business of the world; at six times 7 he
becomes grave and wise, or never; at 7 times 7 he
is in his apogee, and from that time decays; at eight
times 7 he is in his first climacteric; at nine times
7, or 63, he is in his last or grand climacteric, or
year of danger; and ten times 7, or three score years
and ten, has, by the royal prophet, been pronounced
the natural period of human life.

RUBRO, OR THE DRUNKEN CAPTAIN.
As the Caroline frigate was just setting sail,
Before a fine breeze, from the port of Kinsale,
As bold as a beggar, as drunk as a lord,
Old Rubro, the captain, came stagg'ring on board,
Derry down, down, hey derry, &c.

Just then father Neptune emerged from the st
And, eyeing the body, thus gravely said be
"Ah, Rubro! you've met with the punishm
For you drank all the grog and gave none to the cas
Derry down, &c.

CODE FOR THE BETTER REGULATION OF

As the fashion for duelling increases, at 2 b tiful duelling pistols ticketed up in the pa windows, and there is a work published a Duels, by a late Captain in the Army Homp-h who was extremely fond of duelve ing a superabundance of honour to satish. rately stripped himself to the skin, lest the wa should enter, and, putting on his spectacles, g brought his man down. By practising = £ or snuffing out a candle at twelve pares, a these more ingenious methods of reparing the certainty of making a gash in your a body, you may trace up all the probable ant causes how soon a person of honour may be d

called "General Instructions for all Ser