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would regulate your cravat, valuing himself on his Tickling a parson's nose as 'a lies asleep, menial dexterity

Then dreams he of another benefice : I never shall forget meeting my rascal,- I mean Sometime she driveth o'er a soldier's neck, the fellow who officiated for me, --in London last And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats, winter, I thick I see him now,-in a waistcoat that of breaches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades, bad been mine,-.smirking along as if be knew of healths five fathom deep; and then anon

Drums in his ear; at which he starts, and wakes ; In some parts of Germany, that fellow's office is And, being thus frighted, swears a prayer or two, by law declared infamous, and his posterity incapable And sleeps again. This is that very Mab, of being ennobled. They have hereditary hangmen, That plats the manes of horses in the night; or had at least, in the same manner as they had he- And bakes the elf-locks in foul sluttish hairs, reditary other great officers of state ; and the hang- Which, once untangled, much misfortune bodes. men's families of two adjoining parishes intermarried with each other, to keep the breed entire. I wish

QUEEN MAB.

EPITAPH ON A COUNTRY INN-KEEPEP.. something of the same kind were established in Heu! hark ye, old friend ! what, wilt pass, thea England.

without

Taking notice of honest plump Jack ? She is the fairies' midwife; and she comes

You see how 'tis with me, my light is burnt out, lo shape no bigger than an agate-stone

And, they've laid me bere Hat on my back. On the fore-finger of an alderman,

That light in my nose, once so bright to behold, Drawn with a team of little atomies

That light is extinguish'd at last ; Athwart men's noses as they lie asleep :

And I'm now put to bed in the dark and the cold, ller waggon-spokes made of long spinners' legs ; With wicker, and so forth, made fast.. The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers ;

But now, wilt oblige me ? then call for a quart The traces, of the smallest spider's web;

Of the best, from the house o'er the way ; The collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams :

Drink a part on't thyself, on my grave pour a part, Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film:

And walk on,-Friend, I wish thee good day. Her waggoner, a small gray-coated gnat, Not half so big as a round little worin Prick d from the lazy finger of a maid :

The Turks do well to shut-at least, sometimes Her chariot is an empty bazel nut,

The women up-because in sad reality, Made by the joiner squirrel, or old grub,

Their chastity in these unhappy climes Time out of mind the fairies' coach-makers.

Is not a thing of that astringent quality, And in this state she gallops night by night

Which in the north prevents precarious crimes, Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love: And makes our snow less pure than our morality; On courtiers' knees, that dream on court'sies straight : The sun, which yearly melts the polar ice, O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees : Has quite the contrary effect on vice. O'er ladies' lips, who straight on kisses dream; Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues, Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are, A market's the circle for frolic and glee Sometime she gallops o'er a courtier's nose,

Where tastes of all kinds may be suited ; And then dreams be of smelling out a suit :

The dasher, the quiz, and the “ up-to-all” he, And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig's tail, Pluck "sprees from the plants in it rooted :

TURKISH HARAM.

MARKET DAY.

If the joker or queer one would fain learn a | This is the place where we joke, laugh, and qnia, place,

And so you should kaow e'er you lark it ; Where they would wish for a morning to lark So the next time, my covey, you here show peut it;

phic, They need go no farther than just show their face, Be up to the rigs of the market. In that region of mirth, a large market.

But those who would sain make the voyage of fun Spoken.] Do you want ’are a basket wonian, your To be found in a populous city, honour ?-No, no; I declare I've been so pestered Should just see the sports I've already begun, by women.--Have you ! by Jasus, I did not think they And those at the end of my ditty ; bad such bad taste. Oh, dear oh !-What's the mat- So to those who view life-why a market-day night ter my dear ?---I've sat down upon a lump of butter. Affords a prime region to lark it, Here make room for this here gentleman through And many's the spree that a comical wight them ’are sacks of potatoes. Buy a leefe, buy a leefe. May reap from the soil of a marici. Where are you shoving ? I beg your pardon, sir ; but you have put your wet umbrella in my waistcoat Spoken.) What d'ye buy, what d'ye buy. Malbes! pocket.-Sir, I am very sorry, but it must remain buy a ba’porth of matches; hav'nt tasted food these there for the present; the market is so full I cannot sixteen days. Now, ma'at what will you buy?move.-Well, I never received such himperence in Why, Mr. Butcher, what may be that basis of all my life.—Then I think you've given more to the a pound ?-What! the belly part you mear, the 22; world than has been returned to you. Yes, maʼm, and vy the belly-No; I mean the stomach, theis that boy has taken more than he'll return to you. sense ma'am, do you think me a butcher, and a car Oh! the little miscreant; he bas stolen my reticule; ried man, don't know the belly from tbe sicua catch him; there he goes; I have it-Oh! don't Now, sir, what are you looking for?-Wyla open it, there's all my cards fallen out, and-Cards looking for a calfs head—I'll feteh you a glass ma'am, they appear to be carıls of your uncle's.- I don't wish any refiections. Pray, w fiat fisis are those? Indeed! sir, it's nothing to you—No ma'am I see it's smelts, ma'am.-Aye, I thought they were rather to a Hannel petticoat. Do you want any peas, sir; high.— ma! I am so frightened. What at, by or any gooseberry-fool ? I say, Jack, twig that covey, love ?-Why that great cod fish fixes his eyes po he's just put a pottle of raspberries in his pocket. - so. La mai look at those lobsters; they have got a Has he; come along Bil, a good squeeze and it's mouth in every hand; what a droll colons they st, raspberry jam. Do you want any cow cumbers, ma; they are all black. Yes, my dear, they are nie ma'am !-No; don't annoy me.- Or any turnips, and more uncommon than the red ones. Look at ma'am!—Turnips ! nu, she has just had them from dog, he has taken that tongue out of the basset. her last place. Here's your flowers; here's your Yes, he has. James, why don't you run after a beauties. Dear me, how delightful; I declare I shall Yes, ma'am ; which way shall I-I sr, Nute come here every morning and steal some odoriferous. bone, that 'ere cove has boned a mutton chop. I. w I tell you vot my young'un if you steal any thing its a lie sir. There, you lie in the gatter. A* here, it will be a kartichoke.- What do you mean you blow. No. There goes the dog that run away dem rascal ?-Mean! why I mean that I've stood the tongue. Where? There. I don't see him. Pray here twenty years, and now I'm able to sit down, and sir, have you met a dog with a tongue in his met do you knock me down if you can, so take that; Here's a noise ! A noise, to be sure !-Don't se there's a rum'un—I'll indict you. ---Pho! don't talk to know where this is ! No, where! We me, because you see

why

A MAD WEDDING.

and swore,

now

Where confusion and mobbing and chaff Nor the first sparkle of the desert-spring,
Pass on as we merrily lark it;

Nor Burgundy in all its sunset glow,
Su if you e'er want a good squeezing and laugh After long travel, ennui, love, or slaughter,
Coine on a full day to the market.

Vie with that draught of hock and soda-water

COCKNEY SPORTSMEN. When the priest

On the first of September last crossing KenningtonShould ask-if Katharine should be his wife, common I met two cockney sportsmen, dressed out in Ay, by gogs-wouns, quoth he ; and swore so loud, proper style for the sports of the day. “ Hollo !" That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book : my.good fellow," said I, “ have the kindness to turn Aud, as he stoop'd again to take it up,

the muzzle of your gun the other way, don't you The mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff,

see it's on full cock ?" “ Vy to be sure it should, an't That down fell priest and book, and book and priest ; that ’ere the vay to carry one's gun?" "Why, no ; Now take them up, quoth be, if any list.

not the way you ought to carry it. Don't you see I'ra. What said the wench, when he arose again? the danger of it going off?" "No, I can't say as how Gre. Trembled and shook'; for why, he stamp'd, why? Why ? that's a good one, only look here:

I do; 1 keep it so on purpose.” “The devil you do, As if the vicar meant to cozen him.

don't you see if this here fint should hit that But after many ceremonies done,

there thing, it will strike fire ; and then the fire as Tie calls for wine :-A health, quoth he; as if

comes from this here place, goes into that there place, He had been aboard carousing to his inates and among this powder, and that makes the After a storm :-Quaft'd off the muscadel,

gun go off.” “ To be sure it does.” “Vell then, And threw the sops all in the sexton's face !

the further off this flint is from that there iron, Having no other reason,

an't there less danger of hitting it?". But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,

sir," said the other, "might I make so bold as to ask And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.

an't a jackdaw fair game ?” “ Umph! not exactly, This done, be took the bride about the neck ;

unless you could contrive to make the jackdaw Aud kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack,

white." "I say, Billy, that 'ere's a funny chap That, at the parting, all the church did echo. that's what I calls a good joke." "Vhat a jack hass

you must be to ax the gemmen such a question.” “Vy DRUNKENNESS AND ITS ESJOYMENTS. not such a jack hass as you was to shoot a jack hass plan, being reasonable, must get drunk;

instead of an 'are.” “Aye, but that vere all hacciThe best of life is but intoxication :

dent, for you know I never could see wery vell since Glory, the grape, love, gold, in these are suuk

I burned my heyes on the last first of September,"

“ Indeed! how came that to pass ?" “ All owing to The hopes of all men, and of every nation ; Without their sap, how branchless were the trunk

the flash going in my face. I'll tell you how it Of life's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion :

vas; you must know, sir, that on the last first of

September, Billy Stitch, the tailor, and I, vent out But to return,-Get very drunk; and when 'ou wake with head-ach, you shall see what then.

that day in the morning, to have some sport ; so as

we were a passing by the Surry theatre, some chaps king for your valet-bid him quickly bring

says, there goes two cockneys; so I turns round to Some hock and soda-water, then you'll know Billy, Billy, says I, I've a great mind, says I, to go pleasure worthy Xerxes the great king ;

and lik’em, says I.' So says Bill to me, says he, you For not the blest sherbet, subliined with snow had better, says he, let them 'ere chaps alone, says

“ Pray,

If the joker or queer one would fain learn a | This is the place where we joke, laugh, and quis, place,

And so you should kżow e'er you lark it; Where they would wish for a morning to lark So the next time, my covey, you here show you it;

phic, They need go no farther than just show their face,

Be

up. to the rigs of the market. In that region of mirth, a large market.

But those who would fain make the voyage of Spoken.] Do you want ’are a basket woman, your To be found is a populous city, honour --No, no; I declare I've been so pestered Should just see the sports l've already bagian, by women.--Have you ! by Jasus, I did not think they And those at the end of my ditty; had such bad taste. Oh, dear oh !What's the mai-So to those who view life-why a market-dar zaght ter my dear ?--I've sat down upon a lump of butter. Affords a prime region to lark it, Here make room for this here gentleman through And many's the spree that a comical sight them ’are sacks of potatoes. Buy a leefe, buy a leefe. May reap from the soil of a market. Where are you shoving ? I beg your pardon, sir; but you have put your wet umbrella in my waistcoat Spoken.) What d'ye buy, what d'ye bay. Master pocket. Sir, I am very sorry, but it must remain buy a ha’porth of matches; hav'at tasted local is there for the present; the market is so full I cannot sixteen days. Now, ma'am what will you hapa move.-Well, I never received such himperence in Why, Mr. Butcher, what may be that live oil pasko all my life. Then I think you've given more to the a pcund?—What! the belly part you iman, world than has been returned to you. Yes, maʼm, and vy the belly-No; I mean the stomach, the that boy has taken more than he'll return to you. sense ma'am, do you think me a butcher, 214 2 . Oh! the little miscreant; he has stolen my reticule; ried man, don't know the belly from the catch him; there he goes; I have it-Oh! don't Now, sir, what are you looking for?-11 open it, there's all my cards fallen out, and—Cards looking for a call's head—I'll fetch you a pod ma'am, they appear to be cards of your uncle's.-- I don't wish any refieclious. Pray, what bah are Indeed! sir, it's nothing to you—No ma'am I see it's smelts, ma'am.--Aye, I thought they to a Aannel petticoat. Do you want any peas, sir ; high.-0 ma! I am so frightened. What or any gooseberry-fool? I say, Jack, twig that covey, love ?-Why that great cod fish fises his eyes on he's just put a pottle of raspberries in bis pocket-so. La ma' look at those lobsters; therla. Has he ; come along Bill, a good squeeze and it's mouth in every hand; what a droll colour best raspberry jam. Do you want any cowcumbers, ma; they are all black. Yes, my deus, ley er for ma'am ?-No ; don't annoy me.-Or any turnips, and more uncommon than the red odes. Les ma'am !—Turnips ! nu, she has just had them from dog, he has taken that tongue out of the bed.), her last place. Here's your flowers; here's your Yes, he has. James, why don't you rus ate E beauties. Dear me, how delightful; I declare I shall Yes, ma'am ; which way shall 1-I say, come here every morning and steal some odoriferous. bone, that 'ere cove has boned a mutton clop 1 I tell you vot my young'un if you steal any thing its a lie sir. There, you lic in the gatet. here, it will be a kartichoke.- What do you mean you blow. No. There goes the dog that run an dem rascal ?--Mean! vhy I mean that I've stood the tongue. Where? There. I don't see him here twenty years, and now I'm able to sit down, and sir, have you mel a dog with a tongue ia ba do vnu knock me down if you can, so take that; Here's a noise! A noise, to be sure

rum'un--I'll indict you.--Pho! don't talk to know where this is ? No, where! 12 you see

why

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Where confusion and mobbing and chaff

Pass on as we merrily lark it;
So if you e'er want a good squeezing and laugh
Come on a full day to the market.

Nor the first sparkle of the desert-spring,

Nor Burgundy in all its sunset glow,
After long travel, ennui, love, or slaughter,
Vie with that draught of hock and soda-wafer

COCKNEY SPORTSMEN.

A MAD WEDDING,

now.

“ Pray,

Then the priest

On the first of September last crossing Kenningtonhould ask if Katharine should be his wife, common I met two cockney sportsmen, dressed out in y, by gogs-wouns, quoth be ; and swore so loud, proper style for the sports of the day. “Hollo !" lat, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book : my.good fellow," said I, “ have the kindness to turn jd, as he stoop'd again to take it up.

the muzzle of your gun the other way, don't you le mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff, see it's on full cock ?" “ Vy to be sure it should, aa't al down fell priest and book, and book and priest ; that ’ere the vay to carry one's gun?" "Why, no ; ve Pake them up, quoth be, if any list.

not the way you ought to carry it. Don't you see Tra. What said the wench, when he arose again? the danger of it going off ?” “ No, I can't say as how Grrr. Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd, I do ;,1 keep it so on purpose." « The devil you do, and swore,

why?” “Why ? that's a good one, only look here : the vicar meant to cozen him.

don't you see if this here flint should hit that I after many ceremonies done,

there thing, it will strike fire ; and then the fire as calls for wine :- A health, quoth he; as if

comes from this here place, goes into that there place, had been aboard carousing to his mates and among this powder, and that makes the er a storm :-Quaft'd off the muscadel,

gun go off." "To be sure it does." “ Vell then, threw the sops all in the sexton's face !

the further off this flint is from that there iron, ing no other reason,

an't there less danger of hitting it?" that his beard grew thin and hungerly,

sir," said the other, "might I make so bold as to ask seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.

an't a jackdaw fair game ?" " Umph! not exactly, Jone, he took the bride about the neck;

unless you could contrive to make the jackdaw Lisa'd her lips with such a clamorous smack,

white." " I say, Billy, that 'ere's a funny chap at the parting, all the church did echo. that's what I calls a good joke." "Vhat a jack hass

you must be to ax the gemmen such a question." "Vy DRUNKESNESS AND ITS ESJOYMENTS. not such a jack hass as you was to shoot a jack hass

instead of an 'are.” “Aye, but that vere all haccibeing reasonable, must get drunk ;

dent, for you know I never could see wery vell since e best of life is but intoxication :

I burned my heyes on the last first of September.” the grape, love, gold, in these are sunk

"Indeed! how came that to pass ?" “ All owing to - hopes of all men, and of every nation ;

the flash going in my face. I'll tell you how it ut their sap, how branchless were the trunk te's strange tree, so fruitful on occasion :

vas; you must know, sir, that on the last first of

September, Billy Stitch, the tailor, and I, vent out return.-Get very drunk; and when ake with head-ach, you shall see what then.

that day in the morning, to have some sport ; so as

we were a passing by the Surry theatre, some chaps of your valet-bid him quickly bring

says, there goes two cockneys; so I turns round to + bock and soda-water, then you'll know Billy, Billy, says I, I've a great mind, says I, to go sure worthy Xerxes the great king;

and lik’em, says I.' So says Bill to me, says he, you Got the blest sherbet, subliined with snow had better, says he, let them 'ere chaps alone, says

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