The Four-in-hand Club was at first established by certain young noblemen and gentlemen of more cash than consequence. To ape the coachman was the acme of their delight: they therefore squared them elbows, had a front tooth extracted to spit secunda a artem, and dressed themselves with coats and dollarsized buttons, and sixteen strings to their knees. Thus equipped and accomplished, they met in cavalcade, and the string of noble Jehus performed their journies to Salt Hill and Bedfont, and all the way back again. It is needless to say that the horses were fine ones. that the carriages were elegant, and that the vehicle, being empty, was of a piece with the drivers of the Four-in-hand Club. twenty-four hours among them in such a manner, that] The Smithfield Club was a very coarse and beefish the club sat day and night from one end of the year fraternity. The object of the members of this club, to another; no party persuming to rise till they were and which had noblemen in the society, was to prorelieved by those who were in course to relieve them. duce a beef-steak of two yards long, and a foot's By this means the Everlasting Club never wanted width of fat encircling it, at Christmas; and by means company; for though a member was not on duty of oil-cakes and other extraneous and superfine modes himself, he was sure to find some who were; so that of feeding oxen and sheep, to render the said cattle if he was disposed to take a whet or lunch, an even-as near the elephant standard as possible, insomuch ing's draught, or a bottle after midnight, he went to that they were brought to the club in carriages, the the club, and found a knot of friends to his mind. It only ride they had in their lives, like the malefactors was a maxim in this club, that the steward never of old to Tyburn. dies; for, as they succeed one another by way of rotation, no man was to quit the great elbow-chair which stands at the upper end of the table till his successor is in reality able to fill it; insomuch that there has not been a sede vacante in the memory of man. This club was instituted about the time of the civil wars, and lasted till the great fire, which burnt them out and dispersed them for several weeks. The steward at that time maintained his post till he had like to have been blown up with a neighbouring house, (which was demolished in order to stop the fire,) and would not leave the chair at last, till he had emptied all the bottles upon the table, and received repeated orders from the club to withdraw himself. This steward was frequently talked of in the club, and looked upon as a far greater man than the famous captain, mentioned by Lord Clarendon, who was burnt in his ship because he would not quit it without orders. It is said that towards the close of 1700, being the great year of jubilee, the club had it. under consideration whether they should break up or continue their session; but, after many speeches and debates, it was at length agreed to sit out the other century. It appears by their books in general, that since their first institution, they have smoked fifty tons of tobacco, drank thirty thousand butts of ale, one thousand pipes of red port, two hundred barrels of brandy, and one kilderkin of small beer; also a great consumption of cards. A fire was constantly kept up to light their pipes. They had an old woman, in the nature of a vestal, whose business it was to cherish and perpetuate the fire from generation to generation.-Spectator. CONSOLATION FOR MANAGERS That great composer would himself, however, often Handel's early oratorios were but thinly attended joke upon the emptiness of the house, which, he said. "would make de moosic sound all de petter." WOODEN HEADS. The phrase of wooden-heads is no longer paradoxical; some people fit up wooden studies, cabinetmakers become book-makers, and a man may show parade of much reading, by only the assistance of a timber-merchant: a student in the Temple may be furnished with a collection of law books cut from a whipping post; Physical Dictionaries may be had in Jesuits'-bark; a Treatise upon Duels in touch-woodz the History of Opposition in worm-wood; Shakspeare's Works in cedar, his Commentators in rotten-mand; the Reviewers in birch, and the History of England in heart of oak. STEEVANS FLYING COLOURS. THE LAUGHING PHILOSOPHER. Two gentlemen were at a coffee-house, when the discourse falling upon Sir Joshua Reynolds's painting, one of them said, that his tints were admirable, but the colours flew. Sir Joshua, who was in the next stall, took up his hat, and accosted them thus, with a low bow: "Gentlemen, I return you many thanks for bringing me off with flying colours." STRADLING versus STILES. Those who are of the law, and have not perused this cause, will find it eminently useful as a precedent; and old gentlemen about to make their wills, will see the necessity of being as explicit as possible, particularly in the colour of the horses they have to bequeath. Le Report del Case argué en le Common Banke Le Recitel del Case.-Sir John Swale, of Swale Hall, in Swale Dale, fast by the River Swale, Knt., made his last will and testament; in which, among other bequests, was this, viz. "Out of the kind love and respect that I bear unto my much honoured and good friend Mr. Matthew Stradling, gent., I do bequeath unto the said Matthew Stradling, gent. all my black and white horses." The testator had six black horses, six white horses, and six pied horses. I Point. The debate therefore was, whether or no the said Matthew Stradling should have the said pied horses by virtue of the said bequest. Pour le Plaint. Atkins, apprentice pour le plaintiffe, moy semble que le plaintiffe recovera. And first of all it seemeth expedient to consider what is the nature of horses, and also what is the nature of colours; and so the argument will conquently divide itself in a two-fold way; that is to say, the formal part and the substantial part. Horses are the substantial part, or thing bequeathed: black the use and need of man. 1 Edw. IV. makes the transporting of horses out of the kingdom no less a penalty than the forfeiture of 401. 2 & 3 Edw. VI. takes from horse-stealers the bene fit of their clergy. And the statutes of 27 & 32 Hen. VIII. condescends so far as to take care of their very breed; these, ou wise ancestors, prudently foreseeing, that they could not better take care of their own posterity, than by also taking care of that of their horses. And of so great esteem are horses in the eye of the ed any great and enormous crime, his punishment was common law, that when a knight of the bath committo have his spurs chopped off with a cleaver, "being (as Master Bracton well observeth) unworthy to ride a horse." Littleton, sec. 315, saith, "If tenants in common a horse, they make a lease, reserving for rent shall have but one assize; because, saith the book, the law will not suffer a horse to be severed: another a horse." argument of what high estimation the law maketh of But as the great difference seemeth not to be so proceed to the formal or descriptive part, viz. what much touching the substantial part, horses; let us horses they are that come within this bequest. Colours are commonly of various kinds and different sorts of which white and black are the two extremes, and consequently comprehend within them all other colours whatsoever. By a bequest, therefore, of black and white horses, grey or pied horses may well pass; for when two extremes, or remotest ends, of any thing devised, the, law, by common intendment, will intend whatsoever is contained between them to be devised too. But the present case is still stronger; coming not only within the intendment, but also the very letter of the words. By the word black, all the horses that are black are devised; by the word white, are devised those that are white; and by the same words, with the conjunction copulative "and" between them, the horses that are black and white, that is to say, pied, are devised also. Whatever is black and white, is pied; and whatever is pied, is black and white; ergo, black and white is pied; and vice versa, pied is black and white. If therefore black and white horses are devised, pied horses shall pass by such devise; but black and white horses are devised; ergo the plaintiff shall have the pied horses. Pour le Defend-Catlyne, Serjeant, moy semble, al'contrary. The plaintiff shall not have the pied horses by intendment; for if by the devise of black and white horses, not only black and white horses, but horses of any colour between these two extremes, may pass; then not only pied and grey horses, but also red or bay horses should pass likewise, which would be absurd, and against reason. And this is another strong argument in law, Nihil quod est rationem, est licitum; for reason is the life of the law, nay the common law is nothing but reason; which is to be understood of artificial perfection and reason gotten by long study, and not of man's natural reason; for Nemo nascitur artifex, and legal reason est summa ratio; and therefore, if all the reason that is dispersed into so many different heads, were united into one, he could not make such a law as the law of England; because, by many successions of ages, it has been fixed and refixed by grave and learned men; so that the old rule may be verified in it; Neminem oportet esse legibus sapientiorem. As therefore pied horses do not come within the mtendment of the said bequest, so neither do they within the letter of the words. A pied horse is not a white horse, neither is a pied horse a black horse; how then can pied horses come under the words of black and white horses? Besides, where custom hath adapted a certain determinate name to any one thing, in all devises, feoffments and grants, that certain name shall be made use of, and no uncertain circumlocutory descriptions shall be allowed; for certainty is the father of right, and the mother of justice. Le rest del argument je no pouvois oyer, car jeo fui disturb en mon place. Le Court fuit longement en doubt de c'est matter; et apres grand deliberation eu, Judgment fuit donné pour le Pl. nisi causà. Motion in arrest of judgment; that the pied horses were mares; and thereupon an inspection was prayed. Et sur ceo le court advisare vult. The above case with its law, French and Latin decorations, as evidently unlike the modern French, as it was unlike English, was thus humorously reported by Mr. Fortescue, afterwards a judge, and an intimate friend of Pope and Swift; and therefore inserted in their "Martinus Scriblerus." VILLIAM VICKS, Or, Do as other people do. "There's neighbour Vite's, they keep a shay, "Vat now," says Vill, "vat vant you next!” "Vy Vill, I wow it makes me wext To think ve lives in dirt and filth! The house was bought-and Madam now "Dear Vill," says she, "you know that you Must do as other people do !" But now Vill's cash run wery brief, So Vill turn'd o'er another leaf; The maids dismiss'd-the house was sold And coach and horses, too, we're told: "Lord, Vicks," she scream'd, "vat shall ve do?"ing reply: In troth," says Vicks, "you know that you Must do as other people do!" Ma'am did not like this change of life, So death whipp'd off poor Vicks's vife- And now retrieving his affairs, Most Christianlike his loss he bears; LOYAL WELCOME. Hugh Peters, the Jesuit, was preaching at the chapel royal upon these words: Hast thou not poured me out as milk and curdled me like cheese? Job x. 10. when in the height of his discourse the news came that king William was landed, and the congregation in consequence left him. On which he said he would conclude the discourse, "Come life, come death, come William, come the devil!" VENTILATION. Garrick told Cibber, "That his pieces were the best ventilators to his theatre at Drury-lane; for as soon as any of them were played, the audience directly left the house." "I have been bullied by an usurper, I have been neglected by an usurper, I have been neglected by a court, but I won't be dictated to by a subject;-your man sha'nt stand. "Ann Dorset, Pembroke and Montgomery." GRIEVANCES OF A CREDITOR. Z. Y. owes me a bill. I send it in, we shall suppose, the 1st of July. Now mark the excuses in succession. July 1.-"Oh! this is Mr. Mercer's bill-Call again any day next week." July 9.-"Not at home."-"When will he be at home?"-" Any time to-morrow.' July 10.-"Has a gentleman with him," wait an hour-"Oh! ah! this is the bill-ay-hum-look in on Monday." Monday."Not at home, gone to 'Change." Thursday." Leave the bill, and I will look it August 16.-"Bless me! I quite forgot to call. The bill is not discharged-bring me a receipt any time to-morrow or next day." 17.-"Gone to Margate, and wo'nt be home till next month." Sept. 12.-"What! did I not pay that bill before I went out of town? Are you going farther?""Yes."—"Very well; call as you come back, and I'll settle it.”—Calls, and he is gone to dinner at Clap ham, 16.-" Plague of this bill! I don't believe I have as much cash in the house-Can you give me change for a £100 note ?"-"No."- "Then call in, as you pass, to-morrow." 18.-" Not at home." 25.-"Appoint a day! Damme what does your master mean? Tell him I'll call upon him, and know what he means by such a message." October 14.-"What! no discount !"-"Sir, it has been due these two years."-"There's your money then."-"These guineas are light."—"Then you must call again; I have no loose cash in the house." And here ends the payment of £9. 14s. 6d. with three of the guineas light. So he limp'd to the door without saying his prayers; And thus ran to the Devil by running away. I will be ruined, said a Dublin trader to his English friend. "I am sorry for it," said the other; "but if you will be ruined, you know no one else can prevent it." AMERICAN STAGE COACH DIALOGUE. Q. Where are you going, middle on?-A. Yes. Q. Do you keep at Boston.-A. No. Q. Where do you keep ?-A. Fairfield. Q. Have you been a lengthy time in Boston ? eh, say?-A. Seven days. Q. Where did you sleep last night?—A, street. guess. Q. Did she die slick right away?-A. No, not by any manner of means. Q. How long have you been married?-A. Thirty years, I guess. Q. What age were you when you were married! A. I guess mighty near thirty-three. Q. If you were young again, I guess you would marry earlier?-A. No; I guess thirty-three is mighty grand age for marrying. Q. How old is your daughter?-A. Twenty-five. Q. I guess she would like a husband!—À. No, she is mighty careless about that. Q. She is not awful, (ugly,) I guess ?—A. So, I guess she is not. Q. Is she sick?-A. Yes. |