« ZurückWeiter »
tions of this club were the conveying of Hampstead drawn blood. This club, consisting only of men of sir into the city of London, by subterraneous pipes, honour however, did not continue long ; most of the for the benefit of all sickly families. To make sea- members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a water fresh- to bring fowls to be cheaper than little after its institution.” butcher's meal-a nuptial calendar exactly calculated The Surly Club was established near Billingsgate for the meridian of London, wherein a married man to keep up the genuine vernacular—the vulgar tongue. may look at any time, and see how often he has been Coachmen, watchmen, carmen, and such like, corouted; to which is added a very useful table, by met like gentlemen once a week, to exercise in the which he may discover the who, how, where, and the art or mystery of fine language, that they might not when. The new art of cookery, by that excellent be at a loss to abuse those whom they drove, &c. If contrivance of a potato kitchen, called by some a any of these members had by mistake uttered a civil digester, and by others a dog starver ; by the use of expression, or was suspected to be corrupted with which a man may stew a leg of beef at å half-penny good manners, he was looked upon as an effeminate charge, till the flesh is dissolved into strong broth, and coxcomb, who had sucked in too much of his mother's the bones became as soft as butter'd apple pie. This milk, and was most likely expelled. By this society was society were so philosophical, that if a member who erected the bumping post at Billingsgate, to harden smoked a pipe could not give a reason for the blue- the latter ends of the members once a year, in order ness of the smoke, he would undoubtedly be expelled. to prevent a cowardly fear of being kicked, by being
The No-Nose Club.- This club was established by thus used to it. a merry gentleman, who, having steered an improper The Club of Ugly Faces.—This society consisted course in the strails of pleasure, and having observed of those to whom nature had been exceedingly unkind. in his walks that several others had unluckily fallen The first member had a nose of iminense magnitude; into the Egyptian fashion of fat faces, pleased him the second a chin like and as long as a shoe-horn ş seif by collecting together all these imperfect vizards the third, disfigured with a mouth like a gallon pot, into che noseless and snuffling society. It was rather when both the sides are nearly squeezed together; a aptly observed by one of the society, that if by chance fourth, with eyes like a tumbler, and one bigger than they should fall together by the ears, they would the other; a fifth, with a pair of convex cheeks, as if fight iong enough before they'd bave bloody noses ; like Eolus, the god of the winds, he had stopped his and when they had a young pig for dinner, the snout breath for a time, to be the better able to discharge was always cut off, by way of compliment, by the a hurricane ; a sixth with as many wens and warts cook.
as there are knots and prickles upon an old thornThe Man-killing Club. This was a club of duel back; a seventh, with a pair of skinny jaws that lists and bravoes, and none were admitted that had wrapped over in folds like the bide of a thinoceros, Lot killed their man. It is needless to say they were and that with a tusk strutting beyond his lips, as if a) men of honour, and to prove it, their limbs and he had been begot by a man-tiger ; a ninth, with a Features were so lopped and scratched, that they bare-lip that had drawn his mouth into several corLooked like the Elgin marbles. Blood, wounds, bul. ners; the tenth, with a huge “ Lauderdale” head, as less, and slaughter were the topics of their conversa- big in circumference as the golden ball under St. Lun. The Spectator says, “ The president of this club Paul's cross, and a face so fiery, that the ruddy front ras said to have killed half a dozen men in single of the orbicular lump which stood so elevated upon #ubat; and as for the other members, they took his lofty shoulders made it look like the flaming urn
tucir seats according to the number of their slain. on the top of the monument, &c. &c. and such like, There was likewise a side table for such as had only who might resemble barbers' blocks in expression.
Does fortune smile, how grateful must it prove,
To tread life's pleasing round with one we love 1 Or does she frown, the fair, with softening art,
Will soothe our woes or bear a willing part.
wych En LEY's PLAIN DEA LING.
Wycherley being at Tunbridge for the benefit of his lo. was walking one day on the Wells Walk with his friend, Mr. Fairbeard, of Gray's Inn, and just as he came up to a bookseller's shop, the Countess of Drogheda, a young widow, rich, noble, and beautiful, came to a bookseller's, and inquired for the “Plain Dealer.” “Madam,” said Mr. Fairbeard, “since you are for the ‘Plain Dealer,' there he is for you, pushing Wycherley towards her. “Yes,” says Wycherley, “this lady can bear plain dealing; for she appears to be so accomplished, that what would be compliment said to others, would be plain dealing spoken to her.” “No, truly, sir,” said the countess, “I am not without *; faults, any more than the rest of my sex; and yet I love plain dealing, and am never more fond of it, than when it tells me of them.” “Then, Madam,” says Mr. Fairbeard, “you and the Plain Dealer seem designed by Heaven for each other.” In short, Wycherley walked with the countess, waited upon her home, visited her daily while she was at Tunbridge, and afterwards, in London; where, in a little time, a marriage was concluded between them. -
|tion of social souls, who meet together, from **
families do live exceedingly well out of the to
time, at noon and at even, to celebralt who wo of Bacchus, in companies, perhaps to koff o another in countenance; and when we conside, " sums are annually expended in the wo whereby the cares of life are temporarily dwo deep potations, it becomes a question whito " system of going to clubs, among people of Reso is not worthy of some attention. We all inco o well that the revenues flourish wonderstoo this good fellowship of malt-and-spin-orio citizens, and that they have friendly societies to where, under, the pretence of laying by a 4
a week, to help them to be buried &mirao they spend another shilling on the back cf it.
* of this club were the conveying of Hampstead *rinto the city of London, by subterraneous pipes, & the benefit of all sickly families. To make seawater fresh—to bring fowls to be cheaper than outcher's meat—a nuptial calendar exactly calculated or the meridian of %. wherein a married man aay look at any time, and see how often he has been onuted; to which is added a very useful table, by which he may discover the who, how, where, and the when. The new art of cookery, by that excellent ontrivance of a potato kitchen, called by some a gester, and by others a dogstarver; by i. use of tnch a man may stew a leg of beef at a half-penny harge, till the flesh is dissolved into strong broth, and * bones became as soft as butter'd apple pie. This ociety were so philosophical, that if a member who ooked a pipe could not give a reason for the blue* of the smoke, he would undoubtedly be expelled. 7%e No-Nose Club.-This club was established by welry gentleman, who, having steered an improper urse in the straits of pleasure, and having observed his walks that several others had unluckily fallen a the Egyptian fashion of flat faces, pleased him. by collecting together all these imperfect vizards one noseless and snuffling society. It was rather ly observed by one of the society, that if by chance v should Af together by the ears, they would iong enough before they'd have bloody noses;
when they had a young pig for dinner, the snout
always cut off, § way of compliment, by the
drawn blood. This club, consisting only of men of honour however, did not continue long; most of the members of it being put to the sword, or hanged, a little after its institution.” The Surly Club was established near Billingsgate to keep up the genuine vernacular—the vulgar tongue. Coachmen, watchmen, carmen, and such like, met like gentlemen once a week, to exercise in the art or mystery of fine language, that they might not be at a loss to abuse those whom they drove, &c. If any of these members had by mistake uttered a civil expression, or- was suspected to be corrupted with good manners, he was looked upon as an effeminate coxcomb, who had sucked in too much of his mother's milk, and was most likely expelled. By this society was erected the bumping post at Billingsgate, to harden the latter ends of the members once a year, in order to prevent a cowardly fear of being kicked, by being thus used to it. The Club of Ugly Faces.—This society consisted of those to whom nature had been exceedingly unkind. The first member had a nose of im:nense magnitude; the second a chin like and as long as a shoe-horn the third, disfigured with a mouth like a gallon pot, when both the sides are nearly squeezed together; a fourth, with eyes like a tumbler, and one bigger than the other; a fifth, with a pair of convex cheeks, as if like Eolus, the god of the winds, he had stopped his breath for a time, to be the better able to discharge a hurricane; a sixth with as many wens and warts as there are knots and prickles upon an old thornback ; a seventh, with a o of skinny jaws that wrapped over in folds like the hide of a rhinoceros, and that with a tusk strutting beyond his lips, as if he had been begot by a man-tiger; a ninth, with a hare-lip that had drawn his mouth into several corners; the tenth, with a huge “Lauderdale” head, as big in circumference as the golden ball under St. Paul's cross, and a face so fiery, that the ruddy front of the orbicular lump which stood so elevated upon his lofty shoulders made it look like the flaming urn on the top of the monument, &c. &c. and such like, who might resemble barbers' blocks in expression.
These gentlemen seldom distinguished one another friendship, while we live ; and never directly nor indiby their names, but generally saluted each other when rectly reveal or make known, without consent of the they drank round, after the following manner, viz. whole club asked, and given, the names of the members • Here, Nose, my service to you ;' 'Thank ye, Chin.' or nature of the club. The fifth : that none shall be inHere's to you, Blubber-lip;' Your servant, Mr. vited or admitted into our club before she be ofteen Squint.' My love to you, neighbour Goggle ;" * I am years of age nor after her twentieth year is expired. yours, neighbour Allmouth.'
· Here's towards you Six o'clock Club.-— There was a club existing brother Thınjaws;' • I'll pledge you, brother Plump- about sixty years since, with the name of Number Six. cheeks.' None were admitted into this club who, by Dr. Brooks and Professor Porson were members. It their general appearance, could not make a woman consisted of six members, who met at six in the everiniscarry, or frighten children into fits. And it was ing, and who never parted till six in the morning! proposed that every new member should, upon his The Kit-Cai Club.—“This club," says Walpole, inauguration, make a speech in favour of Æsop, whose“ generally mentioned as a set of wits, were in reality portrait should hang over the chimney: and also that the patriots that saved Britain." Under the mask ai they should purchase the heads of Thersites, Duns conviviality, and the encouragement of the belles Scotus, Scarron, (who compared his body to the letter lettres, the place of rendezvous was at a pastry cook's 2,) and Hudibras, with all the celebrated ill faces of in Shire-lane, Temple Bar; afterwards as Kit (Clus. antiquity, as furniture for the club-room.
topher) Cat got up in the world, at a tavern, in the The Split-farthing Club was an assemblage of mi- Strand; for a young lady to be toasted as the reiga sers who met to consult how they might improve their ing beauty of the day at this club, was to set her up riches, by punishing their bellies, and pinching others for life. Jacob Tonson the bookseller, who had a by usury. One would applaud the frugality of the principal share in the formation of it, was presented former, who never wore any other clothes, than what with all the portraits, and all painted by Sir Godfrey was made of the wool that he picked off the hedges. Kneller. Ned Ward describes it thus : « This inges Another would extol the prudence of the citizen who nious society of Apollo's sons, wbo for many years kept a load of faggots in his house, to warm his ser- have been the grand monopolizers of those scandalous vants in cold weather, by handing them up stairs and commodities in this fighty
age, viz. Wil and Poetry, down between the garret and the cellar. "Thus went had the first honour to be forwarded by an amphilie their conversation. Their dresses seemed to be made ous mortal, chief merchant to the Muses, and, in the in the days of Robin Hood, and their stockings times of piracy, both bookseller and printer; uto almost darned as much as the good housewife's hose having, many years since, conccived a woodcrtat in the library at Oxford, which has not enough left kindness for one of the brethren of the greasy trates of the first knitting to show its original contexture. nity, then living at the end of Bell Cour, ia Gray's This society had such a starved appearance, that it Inn Lane, where, finding out the knack of hure. was suspected there was not an ounce of fat among ing his neighbour Bocai's (Jacob Tonson the bordea the whole.
seller) palate, had by his culinary qualifications sa The Female Intellectual Club.—In the year 1720 bighly advanced himself in the favours of his goo! was published in 4to," An Account of the Fair In- friend, that through his advice and assistance be tellectual Club in Edinburgh, in a Letter to an ho- removed out of Gray's Inn Lane, to keep a pode nourabie Member of an Athenian Society there, by a pie-shop near the Fountain tavera in the sun young Lady, the Secretary of the Club !" There were encouraged by an assurance that Bocai and his tres sixteen rules and constitutions : the first ran thus : would coine every week, to storm the crusty w That we shall maintain a sincere and constaut mutual his mutton-pies, and make a consumption of his case
tards. About this time Bocai, who had always a returned, his friend the pastry-cook took off his hands sharp eye towards his own interest, having wriggled at a better price than the trunk-maker ; so that the himself into the company of a parcel of poetical poetical fraternity had most of their pies bottomed with young sprigs, who had just weaned themselves of their own productions, which proved so considerat... their mother university, and by their prolific parts and an avantage to all chance customers, that whoever promising endowmeats had made themselves the came in for a twopenny tart was assured to have a favourites of the late bountiful Mecænas, who had spennyworth of wit, or at least poetry, given into the generously promised to be an indulgent father to the bargain, that when they had emptied the shell, they rhyming brotherhood, who had uuited themselves in might have taught their children to read upon the friendship, but were as yet unprovided for ; so that bottom-crust as well as a horn-book. now, between their youth and the narrowness of their The George's Club. There was formerly a club fortunes, Bocai had a fair prospect of feathering his called the George's Club, consisting of members nest by his new profitable chaps. Besides the happy whose Christian names were George, who used to acquaintance of those sons of Parnassus, it gave him meet at the sign of the George, and on St. George's a lucky opportunity of promoting the interest of his day; and always swore, when they did swear, by beloved engineer, so skilled in the fortifications of George. cheese-cakes, pies, and custards ; so that Bocai, to The Humdrum Club was entirely made up ingratiate liimself with his new set of authors, invited of gentlemen of very peaceable dispositions, that used them to a collection of oven-trumpery at his friend's to sit together to saioke their pipes and say nothing house, where they were nobly entertained with as till midnight.-The Mum Club was of a similar nacurious a batch of pastry delicacies as ever were seen ture, being as great enemies to noise, as inveterate at the winding up of a Lord Mayor's feast, upon the smokers. day of his triumphs. There was not a mathematical The Sighing Club consisted of certain gentlemen figure in all“ Euclid's Elements" but what was pre- iramoratos getting together into a society, where they, seated to the table in baked wares, whose cavities were being totally absorbed in the contemplation of their filled with fine eatable varieties, fit for gods or poets ; several mistresses, had full liberty to talk to themthis procured the cook such a mighty reputation among selves and sigh. Each of these bad a bit of ribbon, a his new sbyming customers, that they thought it a scan- lock of hair, a netted purse, or a garter, which they dal to the Muses that so heavenly a banquet should go museil over and addressed from time to time, as gifts untagged with poetry, where the ornamental folds of or relies stolen from or received from their idols
. He every luscious cheese-cake, and the artful walls of every who was remarked to apostrophise the most passiongoldeu custard, deserved to be immortalized: they ately and loudly was elected president. No one was could therefore scarcely demolish the embellished admitted without a poem in praise of his mistress. A covering of a pigeon pie, without a distich; or break member who did not sigh fives times in a quarter of through the sundry tunics of a pufi-paste apple tart, an hour was looked upon with suspicion ; and a without a smart epigram upon the glorious occasion. member giving a direct answer to a question, looked The cook's pame being Christopher, for brevity called on as so absurd as to run the risk of expulsion : a Kil, and his sign being the Cat and Fidule, thus was complete absence of mind showed the best member. berrily derived a quaint denoinination from puss and This distracted society always existed; but as the her master, and from thence they called themselves tbe dulcineas relented, the old members made place for Kit-Cat Club. Bocai was resolved to venture at all the the new. club, giving little else but pies for poetry, well consi The Everlasting Club.--The Everlasting Club condering he had this advantage, that what the publisher sisted of a bundred members, who divided the whole