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sAINT p ETER AND THE BLAcks MITH.

In Roman Catholic countries it was a very ancient custom for the preacher to divert his congregation in due season with what is termed an Eastern tale, which was received by the auditors with peals of Eastern laughter. During Lent the good people had mortified themselves and prayed so much, that they began to be discontented and ill tempered ; so that the clergy deemed it necessary to make a little fun from the pulpit for them, and thus give as it were the first impulse towards the revival of mirth and cheer

fulness. This practice lasted till the seventeenth century. The following is by the Rev. Father Attansy.

Our Lord was journeying with St. Peter and had passed through many countries. One day he came to .*. where there was no inn, and entered the house of a blacksmith. This man had a wife who paid the utmost respect to the strangers, and treated them with the best that her house would afford. When they were about to depart, our Lord and St. Peter wished her all that was good, and heaven beside. Said the woman : “Ah! if I do but go to heaven, I care for nothing else.” “Doubt not,” said St. Peter, “for it would be contrary to scripture if thou shouldst not go. Open thy mouth. Did I not say so? Why, thou canst not be sent to hell, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth—for thou hast not a tooth left in thy head. Thou art safe enough; be of good cheer.” Who was so overjoyed as the good woman: Without

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'Halloo, fellow !” said the latter, “that won't do. have other letters and whiter than thou with thy ack carta bianca. But if thou art such a conjurer to imagine that thou hast any power over me, let sce if thou canst get into this old rusty flue.” No ner said than the old one slipped into the flue. e smith and his men put the flue into the fire, then tried it to the anvil, and hammered away at the old e most unmercifully. He howled, and begged, and yed; and at last promised that he would have fling to do with the smith if he would but let him jart. At length the smith's guardian-angel made his apratice. The business was now serious. He was red to go. The angel conducted him to torment. an. whom he had so terribly belaboured, was just a attending the gate; he looked out at the little dow, but quickly shut it again, and would have *g to do with the smith. The angel then conled him to the gate of heaven. St. Peter refused dmit him. “Let me just peep in,” said the o, “that I may see how it looks there.” No er was the wicket opened than the smith threw a cap and said: “Thou knowest it is my property, ust go and fetch it."—Then slipping past, he ned himself down upon it and said: “Now I am or on my own property; I should like to see oares drive me away from it.” Thus the smith a to heaven at last. Tiza GEDY AND Cowie DY. osseau makes this distinction between tragedy &rnedy. In comedy, the plot turns on marriage; gedy, it turns on murder. The whole intrigue, "one and the other, turns on this grand event; 1.ey marry 1 will they not marry , will they *r = will they not murder There will be a mar- there will be murder ; and this forms act the "There will be no marriage; there will be no r; and this gives birth to act the second. A rode of marrying and of murdering is prepared - third act. A new difficulty impedes the mar>r the murder, which the fourth act discusses. r, the marriage, and the murder are effected a benefit of the last act.

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When Mrs. Pot behav'd amiss,
And ask'd poor Joseph for a kiss, ".
Fearing the snare of vice,
He held his passions in command,
He left his garment in her hand,
And mov'd off in a trice.
Said he (which some will think but odd).
“I cannot sin against my God,
My conscience, and my friend.”
The virtuous youth felt honour's tie
Uniting with firm piety,
Which truth must still commend.
But had he listen’d to our bench,
He would have gratified the wench,
Who made such kind advances:
Venial the sin, and none the shame,
So very willing was the dame,
And such the circumstances.

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A farmer, in a parish not far from Liverpool, had been sorely afflicted with the ague for between two and three years; it was sometimes quotidian, sometimes tertian, and for a long time together quartan. This lingering strange disorder had, in short, reduced this poor man to a perfect skeleton; his spirits were exhausted, and nature seemed to be quite worn out; he expected nothing but death; yet as he was, when in health, a jocose merry man, he thought he would appear jocular in his will, which his friends advised him to make. After bequeathing some small legacies, he says, “Item, I give and bequeath these plaguy ague fits to Mr. , the parson of the parish.” Whether it was by making this bequest that the fits left him, our readers are at liberty to guess; but leave him they did, and the next day seized upon the poor parson, and handled him se-verely. The parson, on being told that his neighbour J—had bequeathed them to him in his will, was so much exasperated that he would not speak to the

poor man for some years after.

doubt she look another cup on the strength of this We have pored on the sea till we're weary, assurance.

And lounged up and down on the shore But our Lord was desirous to testify his thanks to Till we find all its gaiety dreary,

the man also, and promised to grant hiin four wishes, And taking our pleasure a bore.

“Well,” said the smith, “I am heartily obliged to There's nothing so charming as Brighton, you,

and wish, that if anyone climbs up the pear-tree We cry as we're scampering down ; behind my house, he may not be able to get down again But we look with still greater delight on without my leave.” This grieved St. Peter not a litThe day that we go back to town.

tle, for he thought that the smith ought rather to have For it's ( ! what will become of us ? wished for the kingdom of heaven. But our Lord, Dear! the vapours and blue

with his wonted kindness, granted his petition. The Devils will seize upon some of us smith's next wish was that is any one sat down upoa If we have nothing to do.

his anvil, he might not be able to rise without his

permission : and the third, that if any one crept into SAINT PETER AND THE BLACKSMITH.

his old flue, he might not get out without his cuissol. In Roman Catholic countries it was a very ancient St. Peter said, “ Friend smith, beware what thou custom for the preacher to divert his congregation dost. These are all wishes that can bring thee roadin due season with what is termed an Eastern tale, vantage. Be wise, and let the remaining one be hur which was received by the auditors with peals of everlasting life with the blest in heaven." The studio Eastern laughter. During Lent the good people had was not to be put out of his way, and thus proceniod; mortified themselves and prayed so much, that they " My fourth wish is, that my green cap may become began to be discontented and ill tempered ; so that to me for ever; and that whenever I sit duwa upendo the clergy deemed it necessary to make a little fun no power or force may be able to drive me away." from the pulpit for them, and thus give as it were the Thereupon our Lord went his way with St. Pede?, first impulse towards the revival of mirth and cheer- and the smith lived some years longer with lus aid fulness. This practice lasted till the seventeenth woman, At the end of ihis time, grim death ? century. The following is by the Rev. Father peared, and summoned him to thc orher wprid. “S Attansy,

a moment," said the smitb ; " let me just pus te! Our Lord was journeying with St. Peter and had clean shirt, meanwhile you may pick some of the passed through many countries. One day he came to pears on yonder tree." Death climbed up the a place where there was no inn, and entered the house but he could not get down again; he was forced i of a blacksmith. This man had a wife who paid the submit to the smith's terms, a respite for ikeatypes utmost respect to the strangers, and treated them with before he returned. the best that her house would afford. When they When the twenty years were expired, be laisseph were about to depart, our Lord and St. Peter wished peared and commanded him, in the nune of the back her all that was good, and heaven beside. Said the and St. Peter, to go along with him. “I

“Ah! if I do but go to heaven, I care for Peter too," said the smith ; " sit down a htthews nothing else." “ Doubt not,” said St. Peter, “ for anvil, for thou mus: be tired; I will just drinks ait it would be contrary to scripture if thou shouldst not to cheer me, and take leave of my old wone, go. Open thy mouth. Did I not say so? Why, thou be with thee presently." But death could be canst not be sent to hell, where there is wailing and again from his seat, and was obliged to promiso gnashing of teeth--for thou hast not a tooth left in smith another delay of twenty year thy head. Thou art safe enough; be of good cheer.” When these had elapsed, old Satan cap Who was so overjoyed as the good womau ! Without would fain have dragged the smith away by

woman:

Halloo, fellow !" said the latter, " that won't do. ON THE LATE LORD ELLENBOROUGH TERMING I bave other letters and whiter than thou with thy

ADULTERY A VENIAL OFFENCE. black carta bianca. But if thou art such a conjurer

When Mrs. Pot behay'd amiss, as to imagine that thou hast any power over me, let me see if thou canst get into this old rusty flue." No

And ask'd poor Joseph for a kiss, sooner said than the old one slipped into the flue.

Fearing the snare of vice, The smith and his men put the flue into the fire, then

He held his passions in command, carried it to the anvil, and hammered away at the old

He left his garment in her hand,

And mov'd off in a trice. one most unmercifully. He howled, and begged, and prayed; and at last promised that he would have

Said he (which some will think but odd) nothing to do with the smith if he would but let him

“I cannot sin against my God, depart.

My conscience, and my friend." At length the smith's guardian-angel made his ap

The virtuous youth felt honour's tie pearance. The business was now serious. He was

Uniting with firm piety,

Which truth must still commend. obliged to go. The angel conducted him to torment.

But had he listen'd to our bench, Satan, whom he had so terribly belaboured, was just

He would have gratified the wench, then attending the gate ; he looked out at the little

Who made such kind advances : window, but quickly shut it again, and would have nothing to do with the smith. The angel then con

Venial the sin, and none the shame, ducted bim to the gate of heaven. St. Peter refused

So very willing was the dame,

And such the circumstances. 10 admit him. “Let me just peep in,” said the smith, “that I may see how it looks there.” No

BEQUEATHING THE AGUE. Koner was the wicket opened than the smith threw in his cap and said : “Thou knowest it is my property, A farmer, in a parish not far from Liverpool, had I must go and fetch it."--Then slipping past, he been sorely aflicted with the ague for between two clapped himself down upon it and said: "Now I am and three years ; it was sometimes quotidian, somesating on my own property ; I should like to see times tertian, and for a long time together quartan. who dares drive me away from it.”. Thus the smith This lingering strange disorder had, in short, reduced got into heaven at last.

this poor man to a perfect skeleton; his spirits were TPAGEDY AND COMEDY.

exhausted, and nature seemed to be quite worn out; Rousseau makes this distinction between tragedy he expected nothing but death; yet as he was, when and comedy: In comedy, the plot turns on marriage'; in health, a jocose merry man, he thought he would ia tragedy, it turns on murder. The whole intrigue, appear jocular in his wilí

, which his friends advised in the one and the other, turns on this grand event; hiin to make. After bequeathing some small lewill they marry? will they not marry ? will they gacies, he says, Item, I give and bequeath these turder will they not murder ? There will be a mar- plaguy ague fits to Mr. -, the parson of the riage; there will be murder ; and this forms act the parish." Whether it was by making this bequest first. There will be no marriage; there will be no that the fits left him, our readers are at liberty to murder; and this gives birth to act the second. A guess ; but leave him they did, and the next day new mode of marrying and of murdering is prepared seized upon the poor parson, and handled him sex for the third act. A new difficulty impedes the mar- verely. The parson, on being told that his neighbour nage or the murder, which the fourth act discusses. I had bequeathed them to him in his will, was so At last, the marriage and the murder are effected much exasperated that he would not speak to the for the benefit of the last act,

poor man for some years after,

sums

THE WIFE.

families do live exceedingly well out of the congrezzo Does fortune smile, how grateful must it prove,

tion of social souls, who meet together, from time to To tread life's pleasing round with one we love!

time, at poon and at even, to celebrate the orgies Or does she frown, the fair, with softening art,

of Bacchus, in companies, perhaps to keep one Will soothe our woes or bear a willing part.

another in countenance; and when we consider what

are annually expended in the metropolis, WYCHERLEY'S PLAIN DEALING. Wycherley being at Tunbridge for the benefit of his whereby the cares of life are temporarily drowned by health, was walking one day on the Wells Walk with deep potatiors, it becomes a question whether the his friend, Mr. Fairbeard, of Gray's lun, and just as he system of going to clubs, among people of mediocrity came up to a bookseller's shop, the Countess of Dro- well that the revenues Bourish wonderfully through

is not worthy of some attention. We all know very gheda, a young widow, rich, poble, an beautiful, this good fellowship of malt-and-spirit-drinking came to a bookseller's, and inquired for the Plain

citizens, and that they have friendly sociсties to boot, Dealer." “ Madam,” said Mr. Fairbeard,

“ since you are for the Plain Dealer,' there he is for you, a week, to lielp them to be buried comfortably,

where, under the pretence of laying by a shillis pushing Wycherley towards her. “Yes," says Wy: they spend another shilling on the back of it. cherley, “ this lady can bear plain dealing; for she appears to be so accomplished, that what would be In the year 1745, was published " Ned Ward's compliment said to others, would be plain dealing complete and humorous Account of all the remark. spoken to her." No, truly, sir,” said the countess, able Clubs and Societies in the Cities of London and "I am not without my faults, any more than the rest Westminster, from the Royal Society down to the of my sex; and yet I love plain dealing, and am Lumber Troop, &c." It is dedicated ** To that lucia never more fond of it, than when it tells me of them." ferous and sublime Lunatic, the E.mperor of the

Then, Madam,” says Mr. Fairbeard, “ you and the Moon ; Governor of the Tides; Corrector of Female Plain Dealer seem designed by Heaven for each Constitutions ; Cornuted Metropolitan af all tetuly. other.” In short, Wycherley walked with the coun- ing Cities, and Principal Director of those Churcko tess, waited upon her home, visited her daily while most subject to Mutation." He then, after asing a she was at Tunbridge, and afterwards, in London ; dissertation on Clubs in general, describes the Cabos where, in a little time, a marriage was concluded of his day ; viz.—the Virtuoso's Club—the kushus between them.

of the Order of the Golden Fleece-the No-nos

Club—the Man-killing or (Duelling) Club of rive Kiss me again! there's no one near !

Surly Club—the Atheistical Club-Club of l'ęte “ Nay, nay, you'll kiss and tell, I fear;"

Faces—the Split-farthing Club—the Club of Biura Well, kiss me, dear, until I die,

Shopkeepers--the Man Hunter's Club—the York buz You're sure, then, of my secrecy.

Club—the Beau's Club—the Wrangling or ilede farthing Club—the Quack's Club, or the Physical

Society--the Weekly Dancing Club--tbe bindise Nay, woman is not the soft sex, my dear Fan, cier's Club—the Lying Club-the Beggar's On Or why is her heart bard as stone ?

the Chatterwit Club-The Florist's Club-Pot Us Pray tell me, was Eve form'd of flesh, like the man? den's Cellar Club-the Molly's Club-San Sex No, no, she was form’d of the bone.

Smoking Club-the Market Women's Clubes ORIGIN OF CLUBS.

Thieves' Club—the Small Coal Man's Music Undoubtedly the owners of ale-houses and taverns the Kit-kat Club—the Beef Steak Club, &c. &c. must live ; and really it appears that they and their The Virtuoso's Club. Part of the potable inte

SECRECY.

FLEST AND BONE.

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