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tained his name, thus proceeded to interrogate him: C. “What is your profession ? what do you do?” G. “I make songs, sir.” C. “Ah : I see how it is, you are all in a plot; I must call up the commissary. He will show you what it is to make a mockery of justice.” G. “O, pray, sir, do not disturb the repose of M. Commissary; allow him to sleep on ; you are so much awake, that, without flattery, you are worth a dozen commissaries. I mock not justice, believe me; I am indeed a maker of songs; and you, a man of taste, must yourself have by heart the last which I wrote, and which has been for a month past the admiration of all Paris. Ah, sir, need I repeat, ‘Daphnis m'amait, Le disait, Sijoliment, Qu'il me plaisait Infiniment l’
“You see, sir, that I do not impose upon you. I am really a sonneteer; and what is more, sir, (making a profound reverence to the clerk,) a dealer in spiceries, at your service, in the Rue de la Truanderie.” Scarcely had Gallet finished, when Collé began : “I wish,” said he, “to save you the trouble of asking questions.- My name is Charles Collé, I live in the Rue du Jour, parish of St. Eustache; my business is to do nothing; but when the couplets of my friend here (pointing to Gallet) are good, I sing them.” Collé then sung, by way of example, the following smart anacreontic : Avoir dans sa cave prosonde Vin excellent, en quantité; Faire l'amour, boire à la ronde, Est la seule félicité, Il n'est point de vrais biens au monde, Sans vin, sans amour, sans gaieté.” “And,” continued Collé, “when my other friend here (pointing to Piron) makes good verses, I declaim them;” to illustrate which, he, with equal feli
As he finished these words, Collé, with all the air of a genuine tragedy-hero, strutted towards the guard, bidding them “lead on.” So burlesque a conclusion to the examination, called forth a general burst of laughter. The clerk, alone, far from laughing. grew pale with rage, and denouncing vengeance, ran to awake the commissary. “Ah, sir," exclaimed Piron, in a tone of raillery, “do not ruin us; we are persons of family.”
The commissary was in so profound a sleep, that some time passed before he made his appearance. Piron and his friends, however, did not suffer the action to cool; but kept the guard in a constant roar of laughter with their drolleries. At length M. Commissary was announced. “What is all this poise about !” demanded he, gruffy. “Who are you, sir?” addressing himself to Piron; “your name t” “Piron.” “What are you?” “A poet.” “A poet 2" “Yes. sir, a poet, the most noble and sublime of all professions. Alas! where can you have lived all your days, that you have not heard of the poet Piron I think nothing of your clerk being ignorant of my name and quality; but what a scandal for a great public officer, like you M. Commissary, not to know the great Ps. ron, author of Fils Ingrats, so justly applauded by all Paris; and of Calisthenes, so unjustly damned, as I have shown to the public by some vesses, which prove it to a demonstration.”
Piron would have gone on farther in his gascon
|ading strain, but the commissary interrupted him, by
pleasantly observing, “You speak of plays, M. Piron; don't you arow that Lafosse is my brother; that he writes excellest ones, and that he is the author of Manlius o Ah, sir, there is a man of great genius.” “I believe it, sar.” replied Piron, “for I too have a brother who is a great fool, although he is a Priest, and afthough forarr
The commissary either felt not the smart of this repartee, or had the good sense to conceal it. After a few more inquiries, he saw into the real character of the affair, invited Piron to relate it at length, and (to the satisfaction of ; ll present but his sagacious clerk) not only believed, but laughed most heartily at it. He then dismissed the three friends, not with a rebuke, but with a polite invitation to dine with him at his house on the day following. “Ah! my friends,” exclaimed Piron, as he left the office, “no. thing more is wanting to my glory; I have made even the alguazils laugh.”
Ep11 Apii on Dolly's chARMs. Within this tomb a lover lies, Who sell an early sacrifice To Dolly's unrelenting eyes: For Dolly's charms poor Damon burn’d— Disdain the cruel maid return'd : Hut, as she danc'd in May-day pride, Dolly fell down, and Dolly o And now she lies by Damon's side. Be not hard-hearted then, ye fair Of Dolly's hapless fate beware For sure . better go to bed To one alive, than one who's dead :
cause a No effect. A physician calling one day on a gentleman who had been severely afflicted with the gout, found, to his surprise, the disease gone, and the patient rejoicing in his recovery over a bottle of wine. “Come along, doctor,” exclaimed the valetudinarian, “you are just in time to taste this bottle of Madeira; it is the first of a pipe that has just been broached.” “Ah!” replied the doctor, “these pipes of Madeira will never do; they are the cause of all your suffering,” “Well, then," rejoined the gay incurable, “fill up your glass, for now that we have found out the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better.”
An idler who had more wit than money, went to an inn in Smithfield, during a market day, and seeing a country farmer with a tankard of mulled wine before him, entered into conversation with him, and after enumerating several extraordinary things he could do, said, he could drink the exact quantity of a wine glass from the full tankard, and neither more nor less; the farmer expressed some doubts, when, to prove it, the fellow said, “I do not like to lay heavy wagers, but I will just bet you a penny I do it.” The farmer agreed; when the stranger took the tankard, and drinking the whole off at a draught, turned to the farmer, and said, “I own, sir, I have lost, there is my penny.”
It has been said of Dr. Johnson, by his biographer, that many a day did he fast, many a year did he abstain from wine; but when he eat, it was voraciously; when he drank, it was copiously. The doctor, however, was not insensible to the pleasures of the table, or the relative effect of liquors, which he thus fixed; claret for boys, port for men, and brandy for heroes. Mr. Burke, on hearing the doctor thus apportion liquors, said, “Then let me have claret, I love to be a boy, to have the careless gaiety of boyish days.” “I should drink claret too,” replied Johnson, “if it would give me that ; but it does not; it neither makes boys men, nor men boys. You and I would be drowned in claret, before it would have any effect on us.”
The abbé Raynal and the abbé Galignani, who were both incessant talkers, were invited to the house of a mutual friend, who wished to amuse himself by bringing them together. Galignani, who began the conversation, engrossed it so thoroughly, and talked with such volubility, that Raynal could not find the least opening to introduce a word; but turning to his friend, said in a low voice, “S'il crache, il est perdu.”
Nappy ale, good and stale, in a browne bowle, Which did about the board merrily trowle.
Here, quoth the miller, good fellowe, I drinke to thee,
Wife, quoth the miller, fetch me forth lightfoote,
I wis, quoth Richard, no dainty at all it is,
Then I thinke, sayd our king, that it is venison. Eche foole, quoth Richard, full well may know that:
Never are wee without two or three in the roof,
- Very well fleshed and excellent sat :
But, o say nothing wherever thou goe;
We would not for two pence the king should it knowe.
Doubt not, then sayd the king, my promised secresye;
At last, at the millers cott, soone they espy'd him out, As he was mounting upon his faire steede; To whom they came presently, falling down on their knee; Which made the miller's heart wofully bleede: Šoking and quaking, before him he stood, "hinking he should have been hang'd by the rood,
They were right joyfull and glad in the ho A pursuivante there was sent straight on the to The which had often-times been in those ow. When he came to the place where they did wo. His message orderlye then 'gan he . God save your worshippe, then said the messes", And grant your ladye her owne heart's dest, And to your sonne Richard good fortune and baro That sweet, gentle, and gallant young squoi Qur king greets you well, and thus he Jolb sy, You must come to the court on St. George's do Therefore, in any case, faile not to be in place. I wis, quoth the miller, this is an odd jost; What should we do there? faith, I am hole siro I doubt, quoth Richard, to be hang'd at the eos Nay, quoth the messenger, you doe raistake, Our king he provides a great feast for year so Then sayd the miller, By my troth, messenses, Thou hast contented my worshippe full oil o Hold, here are three farthings, to quote thy so For these happy tydings, which thou do
Øe pursuivant smiled at their simplicitye, And, making many leggs, tooke their reward; to his leave taking with great humilitye, & “e king's court againe he repaird; hewing unto his grace, merry and free, * knighte's most liberall gift and bountie. 6en he was gone away, thus gan the miller say, Here comes expences and charges indeed; ow must we needs be brave, have ; For of new garments we have great need : *es, and serving-men we must have store, *\ridles and saddles, and twentye things more, *he, Sir John, quoth his wife, why should you frett or frown a You shall ue'er be att no charges for mee; ! will turn and trim up my old russet gowne, With every thiug else as fine as may bee: - \on our mill-horses swift we will ride, *Pillowes and pannells as we shall provide.
his most statelye sort rode they unto the court;
heir jolly sonne Richard rode foremost of all,
!ot up, for good hap, a cock's feather in his cap; od so they jetted downe to the king's hall :
wise, like maid Marian, did mince at that tide.
ling and his nobles, that heard of their coming, !eting this gallaut knight with his brave traine; ... one, sir knight, quoth he, with your gay lady: odsir John Cockle, once welcome againe: * is the squire of courage soe free. i Dicke, A bots on you ! do you know me?
tho' we spend all we
The king and his courtiers laugh at this heartily,
There the king royally, in princelye majestye,
Quoth sir John Cockle, I'll pledge you a pottle,
What art thou angrye 1 quoth our king merrilye;
Aye, marry, quoth our kyng, that were a daintye thing, Could a man get but one here for to eat. With that Dick strait arose, and plucked one from his hose, Which with heat of his breech gan to sweate. The king made a proffer to snatch it away : 'Tis meat for your master: good sir, you must stay.
Thus in great merriment was the time wholly spent,
The nobles with laughing did make their sides ake,
Many thankes for their panes did the king give them,
hu M.A. Ne Jiu ray M.A.N. “Look at the juryman in the blue coat,” said one of the Old Bailey court to Justice Nares; “do you see him?” “Yes,” “Well, we shall not have a sin. gle conviction to day for any capital offence.” The observation was verified. . The juryman was Mr. Phillips of St. Paul's church-yard, afterwards sheriff; and during his shrievalty no execution took place. Too LATE. An appointment was made with an astronomer, to be at his observatory, there to see an eclipse. The good company, considering celestial and terrestrial engagements in the same light, attended the philosoPho, and, after chatting some time, at last recollected their business, and begged to see the eclipse. I am
sorry, says the doctor, that I could not prevvino sun and moon to wait for you, -the eclipse wise.” long before your arrival.
EPILoque To A woman kill’d with sixaxis.
An honest crew, disposed to be merry,
GA R RICR at 1---. The following jeu d'esprit, from the per of ho Garrick, was sent by him to Mr. Counsello: Hoo at a time when Garrick was involved in a "--> respecting the possession of a house at HarptoIXavid Garrick to Mr. Hotch #in, Kis co-stor -friend. On your care must depend the success of -r The possession I mean of the house in dio Remember, my friend, an attorney's my fee. And the worst of his tribe, tho' the best are -In law, as in life, I well know 'tis a rule, That the knave should be ever too hard for o- or To this rule one exception your client of -. That the fool may for once kick the kran doors.