EPILOGUE TO A WOMAN KILL'D WITH KINDNESS. An honest crew, disposed to be merry,

Many thankes for their paines did the king give them, I sorry, says the doctor, that I could not prevail on the
Asking young Richard then, if he would wed; sun and moon to wait for you, the eclipse was ended
Among these ladyes free, tell me which liketh thee? long before your arrival.
Quoth he, Jugg Grumball, sir, with the red head:
She's my love, she's my life, her will I wed;
She hath sworn I shall have her maidenhead.
Then Sir John Cockle the king call'd unto him,
And of merry Sherwood made him o'er-seer;
And gave him out of hand three hundred pound
yearlye;

Take heed now you steal no more of my deer: And once a quarter let's here have your view, And now, Sir John Cockle, I bid you adieu.

DEFINITION OF LAW.

Law is-law,-Law is-law, and as in such and 80 forth, and hereby, and aforesaid, provided always, nevertheless, notwithstanding. Law is like a country dance, people are led up and down in it till they are tired.-Law is like a book of surgery, there are a great many terrible cases in it. It is also like physic, they that take least of it are best off. Law is like a homely gentlewoman, very well to follow. Law is also like a scolding wife, very bad, when it follows us. Law is like a new fashion, people are bewitched to get into it; it is also like bad weather, most people are glad when they get out of it.

HUMANE JURYMAN.

"Look at the juryman in the blue coat,” said one of the Old Bailey court to Justice Nares; "do you see him?" "Yes," "Well, we shall not have a sin gle conviction to day for any capital offence." The observation was verified. The juryman was Mr. Phillips of St. Paul's church-yard, afterwards sheriff; and during his shrievalty no execution took place.

TOO LATE.

An appointment was made with an astronomer, to be at his observatory, there to see an eclipse. The good company, considering celestial and terrestrial engagements in the same light, attended the philosopher, and, after chatting some time, at last recollected their business, and begged to see the eclipse. I am

Came to a tavern by, and call'd for wine:
The drawer brought it (smiling like a cherry)
And told them it was pleasant, neat, and fine.
Taste it, quoth one: he did; Oh, fie! (quoth he)
This wine was good; now't turns too near the lee.
Another sipp'd, to give the wine his due,

And said unto the rest, it drank too flat :
The third said, it was old; the fourth too new;
Nay, quoth the fifth, the sharpness likes me not.

Thus, gentlemen, you see how in one hour
The wine was new,old, flat, sharp, sweet, and sour.
Unto this wine do we allude our play :
Which some will judge too trivial, some too grave:
You, as our guests, we entertain this day,
And bid you welcome to the best we have.

Excuse us, then; good wine may be disgrac'd,
When every several mouth hath sundry taste,

GARRICK AT LAW.

The following jeu d'esprit, from the pen of David Garrick, was sent by him to Mr. Counsellor Hotchkin, at a time when Garrick was involved in a lawsuit respecting the possession of a house at Hampton.

David Garrick to Mr. Hotchkin, his counsellor andď friend.

On your care must depend the success of my sit,
The possession I mean of the house in dispute ;
Remember, my friend, an attorney's my foe,
And the worst of his tribe, tho' the best are so so;
In law, as in life, I well know 'tis a rule,
That the knave should be ever too hard for the fool;
To this rule one exception your client implores,
That the fool may for once kick the knave cat of
doors.

THE TABLES TURNED.

A very respectable gentleman once appeared at Westminster Hall, to justify bail. The counsel de

termined to be very witty upon him, opened upon | time ;-the husband in the mean while biting his lips, him in the following extraordinary manner :

And there's my aunt. I know her by her waist, paying for it, because he's bold and free; then he l'

Occasional conformists base,

I damn'd their moderation;
And thought the church in danger was
By such prevarication.

And this is law, &c.

When George in pudding time came o'er,
And moderate men look'd big, sir;
I turn'd a cat-in-pan once more,
And so became a whig, sir;
And thus preferment I procur'd

From our new faith's defender;
And almost every day abjur'd
The pope and the pretender.
And this is law, &c.

Th' illustrious House of Hanover,
And Protestant succession;
To these I do allegiance swear-
While they can keep possession:
For in my faith and loyalty,

I never more will falter,

And George my lawful king shall be-
Until the times do alter.

And this is law I will maintain
Until my dying day, sir,
That whatsoever king shall reign,
I'll be the vicar of Bray, sir.

NEGRO SERMON, PREACHED BY SAM QUACO, A BLACK
CLERGYMAN, NATIVE OF JAMAICA.

him King George, he lib at tora side wara, he hab ting on he head, call him crown, and a grand ting, all sam com basket; so breren, Goramity bless you all.-AMEN.

EPILOGUE TO TYRANNIC LOVE.

Spoken by Nell Gwyn, when she was to be carried off dead by the Bearers

To the Bearer.

Hold! are you mad, you d-d confounded dog?
I am to rise, and speak the epilogue.
To the Audience.

I come, kind gentlemen, strange news to tell ye;
I am the ghost of poor departed Nelly.
Sweet ladies, be not frighted, I'll be civil:"
I'm what I was, a little harmless devil;
For after death, we sprites have just such natures
We had, for all the world, when human creatures :
And therefore I, that was an actress here,
Play all my tricks in hell, a goblin there.
Gallants, look to't; you say there are no sprites;
But I'll come dance about your beds at nights;
And faith you'll be in a sweet kind of taking,
When I surprise you between sleep and waking.
To tell you true, I walk, because I die
Out of my calling, in a tragedy.

Oh poet, d-d dull poet! who could prove So senseless to make Nelly die for love? Nay, what's yet worse, to kill me in the prime A man dat born ob a woman hab long time to lib, Of Easter-term, in tart and cheesecake time! he trouble ebery day too much; he grow up like a I'll fit the fop; for I'll not one word say, plantia, he cut down like a bannana. Pose a man do T' excuse his godly, out-of-fashion play; good, he get good; pose de man do bad, he get bad. A play which if you dare but twice sit out, Pose he do good, he go to da place call him Glolio, You'll all be slander'd and be thought devout. where Goramity tan upon a top, and debble on a bot-But farewell, gentlemen; make haste to me; ton; pose he do bad, he go to da place call him Hell, I'm sure ere long to have your company. where he mot burn like a pepper cod; he call for As for my epitaph, when I am gone, drink a wara, nobody give him drop a wara to I'll trust no poet, but will write my own: cool him dam tongue. Tan, breren, you know one Here Nelly lies, who, tho' she liv'd a slattern ;* man, dey call he Sampson, he kill twenty tousand Yet died a princess, acting in St. Cath'rine.+ Fillestans with the jaw bone jackmorass. Tan you know tora man, call Jonass, he swallow whale; he mugin hell ob a fellow for fish; and tora man, he call

Her real character.

DRYDEN,

+ The character she represented in the play,

JONAS, THE JEW CONJUROR.

coffee and the book of interest, supply the temporary wants of necessitous men, and are sure to out-wit'em had they even the cunning of a-Fox.

MISERIES OF MATRIMONY

What, what is Marriage! Harris, Priscian,

Assist me with a definition.
"Oh!" cries a charming silly fool,
Emerging from her boarding school,
It is a-something that arises
Marriage is love, without disguises,
From raptures and from stolen glances,
To be the end of all romances;
Vows-quarrels-moonshine-babes-but hush!
must not have you see me blush."

Among the many characters that have played upon the passions of the public, Jonas, or the card-playing conjuring Jew, cut a figure in his way. He could make matadores with a snap of his fingers, command the four aces with a whistle, and get odd tricksbut there are a great many people in London, besides this man, famous for playing odd tricks, and yet no conjurors neither. This man would have made a great figure in the law, as he was so dexterous a conveyancer. But the law is a profession that does not want any jugglers. Nor do we need any longer to load our heads with the weight of learning, or pore for years over arts and sciences, when a few months I practice with pasteboard pages can make any man's fortune, without his understanding a single letter of the alphabet, provided he can but slip the cards, snap his fingers, and utter the unintelligible jargon of presto, passa, largo, mento, cocolorum, yaw, like this Jonas.The moment he comes into company

and takes up a pack of cards, he begins--"I am no common slight of hand man; the common slight of hand men they turn the things up their sleeves, and make you believe their fingers deceive your eyes. -Now, sir, you shall draw one card, two cards, three cards, four cards, five cards, half a dozen cards, you look at the card at this side, you look at the card at that side, and I say blow the blast; the blast is blown, the card is flown, yaw, yaw; and now, sir, I will do it once more over again, to see whether my fingers can once more deceive your eyes; I'll give any man ten thousand pounds if he does the like You look at the card of this side, you look at the card on that side, when I say blow the blast, the blast is blown, the card is flown, yaw, yaw;" but this conjuror at length discovering that most practitioners on cards, now-a-days, know as many tricks as himself, and finding his slights of hand turned to little or no account, now practises on notes of hand by discount and is to be found every morning at twelve in Duke's-place, up to his knuckles in dirt, and at two at the Bank coffee-house, up to his elbows in money, where these locusts of society, over a dish of

"Pshaw!" says a modern modish wife,
A house in town, and villa shady;
"Marriage is splendour, fashion, life;
Balls, diamond bracelets, and My Lady!"
Then for Finale, angry words,
And peevish hearts and silly heads,
Some people's'obstinates,' absurds !*
And oaths, and bêtes,' and separate beds."
An aged bachelor, whose life
Has just been "sweeten'd" with a wife,
Tells out the latent grievance thus:
Marriage is odd! for one of us
'Tis worse a mile than
or tree,
rope
Hemlock, or sword, or slavery;
An end at once to all our ways,
Dismission to the one-horse chaise;
Adieu to Sunday can and pig,
Adieu to wine, and whist, and wig;
Our friends turn out-our wives are clapt in,
Tis exit Crony,'-' enter Captain.'
Then hurry in a thousand thorns,
Quarrels and compliments-and horns!
This is the yoke,- and I must wear it;
Marriage is-Hell, or something near it."

Why, Marriage," says an Exquisite
Sick from the supper of last night,
Marriage is-aiter one by me!
I promised Tom to ride at three-