an established trade; I have spent my fortune, rained my business, and am now dying in a loathsome goal, and to complete all, keeping that poor thing contined without support: I'll endeavour to do one piece of justice before I die, by setting him at liberty."

He made shift to crawl from his straw-bed, opened the casement, and out flew the bird. A flight of jackdaws from the Temple was going over the gaol, and Tom Moor's bird mixed among them. The gardeners were then laying the plats of the Temple gardens, and as often as they placed them in the day, the jackdaws pulled them up by night. They got a gun, and attempted to shoot some of them; but being cunning birds, they always placed one as a watch in the stump of a willow tree; who, as soon as the gun was levelled, cried “Mawk, mawk,” and away they all flew, so that the men could never shoot one of them. The gardeners were advised to get a net, and the first night it was spread, they caught fifteen; Tom Moor's bird was amongst them. One of the men took the net into the garret of an uninhabited house, fastens the door and windows, and turns the birds loose. Now," says he, "you black rascals, I'll be revenged on you." Taking hold of the first at hand, he twisted his neck, and throwing him down, cries, "There goes one." Tom Moor's bird, who had hopped upon a beam in one corner of the room unobserved, as the man laid hold of the second, calls out, "Damn it how he nicks 'em." The man alarmed cries, "Sure I heard a voice! but the house is uninhabited, and the door fast it could not be imagination." On laying hold of the third, and twisting his neck, Tom Moor's bird again says, "Damn it how he nicks 'em." The man dropped the bird in his hand, and turning to where the voice came from, seeing the other with his mouth open calls out," Who are you?" to which the bird answered, “Tom Moor of Fleet-street, Tom Moor of Fleet-street."-"The devil you are; and what brought you here?"-" Bad company, by G-. Bad company, by G-." The fellow, frightened almost out of his wits, opened the door, and ran down stairs out of the house, followed by all the birds, who by this means saved their lives, and gained their liberty.

:

THE SICK LADY AND THE ALMANACK

A poor old woman with a diarrhoea,
Brought on by slip-slop tea and rot-gut beer,
Went to Sangrado with a woful face;
And, hawking twice or thrice, to clear her throat,
She told him in a plaintive note,
Her case!

Disease had brought her to a doleful state,
Her legs seemed tottering with a lifeless weight;
Her bosom panted for the lack of breath,
Her voice seemed echoing from the vale of death;
Her sunken orbs of light but dimly shone;
A gasping spectre ! hardly skin and bone!-
The doctor being in a wonderous hurry,
To still a lady in hysteric flurry,
Could hardly stop to hear pale misery's moan;
So, jumping in his coach, he bawled" Go on!"
Howe'er, to keep the dame from kingdom come,

He told her that she need but hurry home,
From the sharp gripe of grinning Death, so cruel,

Then call upon him in a day or two,
And boil some bole ammoniac in her gruel:

And let him know

If things went better, or in statu quo.—
The dame, obedient to the doctor's order,
Came when the time prefixed was ended;
Health seemed to triumph o'er the dire disorder.
But still she seemed a little broken-winded.
Sangrado felt her pulse, and tongue inspected,
Then asked her if she'd done as he directed.—
Zook, Sir, for tho'f I sent my godson Jack,
From house to house, amongst my neighbours,
To beg a Moore's Almanack,

He could not geet un, after all his labours:—
And zo-I took and boiled the Babes i'the Wood;
And, praise the Lord Lit's done a mort of good.”

TRANSLATIONS.

F. PINDAR.

Dryden's translation of Virgil being commend by a bishop, Lord Chesterfield said, "* The origina. » indeed excellent, but every thing suffers by a tra tion, except a bishop."

ERASMUS AND SIR THOMAS MORE.

On the arrival of the great reformer Erasmus in England, it was the wish of several eminent literary persons that a meeting between him and Sir Thomas More, the celebrated author of Utopia, should be contrived in such a manner that neither party should suspect his being in the company of the other.

At the period alluded to, the hospitality of the Lord Mayor of London was uniformly extended to all whose attainments in learning rendered them competent to converse in Latin. How different is the doom of the Latinist in the present day!

"Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis."

It was therefore agreed that at this seat of the learned, these two distinguished scholars should meet. Conversation ensuing, a dispute arose between them on the much contested doctrine of transubstantiation, and the polemical skill evinced in the controversy excited mutual astonishment. At length Erasmus, entertaining a suspicion of the character to whom he was opposed, exclaimed, “Aut Morus es, aut nullus;” to which Sir Thomas replied, "Aut Erasmus es, aut Diabolus." So much was More delighted with the talents of his illustrious antagonist, that he gave him an invitation to his country seat, at which Erasmus passed a considerable time. In the course of the argument at the Lord Mayor's table, on the subject of the real presence, Sir Thomas had urged that the want of any saving influence to the heretic, in partaking of the sacred elements, was no proof against transubstantiation, since it was by the faithful only that the body and blood of Christ were verily and indeed taken and received in the Lord's Supper; and that there, faith was itself the great instrument in the conversion of the said elements to the receivers. During Erasmus's stay at Sir Thomas's residence, he was repeatedly pressed by the latter to accept of some tosen of his regard and remembrance. Erasmus had fred for the object of his choice on a favourite horse

More's; but remembering his sophistry in the deare alluded to, instead of acquainting the chancellor With his intention, he rode off with the steed the day

of his departure from Sir Thomas's, leaving the following note for his host.

Quod mihi dixisti, De corpore Christi, Crede ut edas, et edes; Sic tibi rescribo, De tuo palfrido, Crede ut habeas, habes!

MR. AND MRS. VITE.

A vorthy cit von Vitsunday,
Vith vife rode out in von horse chay,
And down the street, as they did trot,
Says Mrs. Vite, I tell you vot,
Dear Villiam Vite 'tis my delight,

Ven our veek's bills ve stick 'em, That side by side ve thus should ride

To Vindsor, or Vest Vickham.
My loving vife, full vell you know
Ve used to ride to Valthamstow,
But now I thinks its much the best
That ve should ride tovards the vest,
If you agree dear vife vith me,

And vish to change the scene-
Then, ven the dust excites our thirst,
Ve'll stop at Valham Green.

Vell then, says Mrs. Vite, says she,
Vat pleases you must sure please me :
But veekly vorkings all must go,
If ve this day go cheerful through;
For vell I loves the voods and groves,
They raptures put me in;
For, you know Vite, von Vitsun-night,
You did my poor heart vin!
Then, Mrs. Vite, she took the vip,
And vack'd poor Dobbin on the hip,
Vich made him from a valk go fast,
And reach the long vish'd sign at last;
So ven they stopt, out vaiter popt,

Vat vould you wish to take?
Said Vite, vith grin, I'll take some gin,
My vife takes vine and cake.

Ven Mrs. Vite had took her vine,
To Vindsor on they vent to dine;
Ven dinner done now Vite did talk,
My darling vife ve'll take a valk;
The path is vide by vater side,
So ve vill valk together,
Vile they gets tea for you and me,
Ve vill enjoy the veather.
Some vanton Eaton boys there vere,
Vich marked for vaggery the pair;
Mrs. Vite cried out, vat are you arter?
Ven in they put Vite in the vater;
The vicked vits then left the cits,

And Vite the vaves sunk under;

She vept, she bawl'd, she vail'd, she squall'd,
Vill not one help I vonder.

Her vimpering vords assistance brought,
And vith a boat-hook Vite they sought,
Mrs. Vite, with expectation big,
Thought Vite was found, but 'twas his vig.
Vite vas not found, for he vas drown'd;
To stop her grief each bid her,
Alas! she cried, I vas a bride,
But now I is a vidder.

CONSUMMATE EPICURISM AND COARSE MANNERS OF

QUIN.

Quin dining one day with the duchess of Marlborough, her grace, to his great surprise, helped herself to the leanest part of a haunch of venison which stood Dear her. "What!" said Quin, "and does your grace | eat no fat?" "Not of venison, sir." Never, my lady duchess?" "Never, I assure you." Too much affected to restrain his genuine sentiments, the epicure exclaimed, "I like to dine with such fools."

64

JEW'S JOURNAL FOR THE WEEK.

Sunday No business to be dore-de Christians all out making holiday-waited at home for Levi: he never come-took a walk in St. George's fieldsput me in mind of Newgate-called dere-supped and smoked a pipe with one of our peopies.

Monday-At 'Change till two-man in red coat wanted to borrow monies-did not like his looks-in

de afternoon called in St. James's-street-not at home-very bad luck-thought to have touched something dere.

Tuesday-Went to de west end of de townbought some old clothes-took in-gave great price for de breeches, thinking I felt guinea in de fob left there by mistake-only done to cheat me-nothing in de world but counterfeit halfpenny-sold dem again to Levi-took him in de same way-very good dat. ! Wednesday-Went to St. James's-street again de devil is in de man-not at home-met Levi; he scolded me about de breeches-not mind dat at allwent to poff at de auction-very well paid-engaged to poff at anoder in the evening-found out dereobliged to sneak off-found a pair of candlesticks in my coal-pocket-dropped in by accshident-sold dem to Mr. Polishplate, de silversmith-did very well by dat

Thursday--On 'Change-met de gentleman with de white wig--wanted more monies-let him have it -very good securities-like white wigs-carried my advertisement to de newspaper, signed Z-pretty crooked letter dat-always sure to bring customers.

Friday-Found a watch in my coat pocket-drupped in by aceshident-made some money by daimet my good friend Mr. Smash-not seen him since he was a bankrupt-arrested him for de monies be Owed me-went home, and prepared for de sabbath.

THE ROCHDALE VICARS, OR FISH, FLESH, AND

FOWL.*

The Arch-cook at Lambeth, three dishes has sent,
To please us at Rochdale;-how kind!
The first was plain Wray, with a sauce of content,
The second was venison Hind.

The next that he sent was a very fine Drake,
A dainty nice fowl in its way:

On the clerical chairman, no comments I'll make,
For a brute is the best judge of Hay.
We have had a full feast of Fish, Flesh, and Fest
But alas! they have all passed away:
The parish of Rochdale, now grumble and grow!
For no one can relish Old Hay

"Wray, Hind, Drake, and Hay" are the names of the four successive vicars of Rochdale,

A GOOD REASON FOR STAYING FROM CHURCH.

A zealous priest, and in his way

A pious man, as people say,

For weeks had miss'd from church and station

A member of his congregation,
And having long made the remark,
Anxious to learn, he ask'd his clerk,
If he could any cause assign
Why he rejected grace divine,
"I hope poor man, he's not unwell;
Perhaps become an infidel!
Pray heaven 'tis not Socinianism
Or any strange fanaticism,

That keeps him from us thus away
And leads him from the flock astray?"
"Oh! no, sir," said the clerk-" 'tis worse
Than these alas! a greater curse."
"What worse than Socinianism,
It surely cannot be Deism?"

“Oh worse than that," replied the clerk,
"Your worship still is in the dark."
* Worse than Deism, it cannot be;"
"Tis bad enough, sir, I agree.”
"Good God, 'tis not Atheism sure.
We'll try and work the apostate's cure."
"You're wrong again, Sir, I confess
The cause is difficult to guess,
Tis neither heresy nor schism,
But that accursed-Rheumatism."

HUMOURS OF A COUNTRY THEATRE.

With mortgaged scenery, an empty exchequer, and rebellious orchestra, a country manager must still keep up his spirits and his importance. It would indeed be impossible to bring before you all the miseries of a manager, for, alas! they are numberless ! Suppose, therefore, that we introduce you to Manager Varnish, of strolling notoriety, collecting a new company of barn-door comedians to provincialize, alias o vagabondize over his stage of six deal boards, and aw-dust in the boxes. Behold him at his morning evee then-bursting with importance and swelling Like a shirt bleaching in a high wind !"-" Ahem!

Timothy!-this is my court of Apollo, my morning nuisance, my-why Timothy, I say!—Oh! here you come sir, crawling in, like the half-price on a rainy evening! Well sir, who waits? Any body wanting the manager?"

"Oh, yes! lots of them, sir; there s a one-armed man inquires if you want another hand—a woodenlegged gentleman to play the Lame, Lover-a real Blackamoor for Othello, four Romeos, one Harlequin, three Fools, and a French marquess to come out in Richard."

"All waiting now, eh Timothy ?" "Yes, sir." "Then tell the one-armed man to take to his heels, and the wooden-legged gentleman to hop the twig, and skip to another branch. Harlequin and the Romeos may keep the Fools company; and send me up the Blackamoor and the French gentleman, one at a time."

The man of colour having made his entré, aftei much grinning and gesticulation, thus addressed the astonished manager-" You massa Jonkoo man ?→→→ keep play-house, show fine tragedy?"

Massa Jonkoo man !--why-Oh! that's blacky language for an acting manager, I suppose!-I am, sir, at your service-you wish to appear in Othello, I understand, and to do you justice, you'll look the part certainly."-" Iss, massa, blacky all through through; no come off, when hug! Now me show how act, massa, Othelly speech to him father-in-law."

"What with that cursed twang, fellow ?-Do you imagine the noble Moor spoke after that fashion?however, e'en let's have it." Upon which Chingaree assumed what might be an elegant attitude among his native tribes, and thus commenced the famous oration to the Venetian Senate.

"Most potented sir reverences!

My very good massas! dat I take away
Old buckra man him daughter,
It all true, true, no lie was;

Den she marry, I make her my chumchum,
Dat all I do, cause I do no more was!"
The manager could listen no longer. Well, sir,
if Othello did harangue in that fashion, he might well

say-"Rude am I in speech!" "Oh! the more angel he, and you the blacker devil!" You may begone, fellow, for much as the public like novelty, they never could endure your abominable chumchum; and the greatest favour you can do me, is to make your exit as fast as possible." Othello having followed the manager's advice, was very speedily succeeded by the French gentleman, whose ambition was to enact Richard, Duke of Glo'ster. "Aha! sare, je suis, I am come to surprise you-I shall astonish the town, ma foi!-De play has never been personée-it was never performé, as I shall perform it-Mais, vous êtes silent--to all dis you say nothing!" “Then I will say that I shall be extremely happy to have a specimen, Monsieur !"

Ecoutez-vous, shut your mout, listen, and you shall hear I speak wid your tongue en perfection, Je parle Inglish just like un Inglishman. Aha, sare, je commence wid de beginning. Richard enter solo, all alone by himself! He speake de grande soliloque,

attendez moi, look at me

-Now is de winter of our uneasiness
Made into summer by York little boy,
Dat is, vat you call, de son of York!
And de dark cloud, which stick at top
Of de house, is in de bottom of de sea,
Dead and buried! But as for me, aha!
I have de hump on my back, I have
De bandy leg, I am unfashionable, and
For all dis-de dog he bark bow wow at me
As I walk by him!

"Monsieur, sare, dat is suffisant, I hope-dat is quite enough."

"Quite enough, sir, and as I fear the audience would think it a great deal too much, I must now bid you good morning!"

SINGULAR CHARITY.

A Russian countess being persecuted by her creditors for debt, on the porter's acquainting her excellency that the poorer class attended at the gate; she ordered the servant to throw out a bag of copper money among them, and while they were scrambling for it to let loose a bear at them.

BENEFIT OF WIGS,

At a peruke-maker's on the London-road there was formerly a sign, with Absalom hanging on a tree, and David lamenting over, him; underneath were these lines: Oh! Absalom, my son, my son,

If thou hadst worn a wig
Thou hadst not been undone.

PHISIOGNOMY OF A FUN-LOVER

half-foolish face; what a great many upon the stare A head full charged for fun exhibits a comical can put on, and what a great many people not upon the he says himself, and he imagines a man of wit met stage can't put off. The owner always laughs at what always be upon the broad grin; and whenever he is a company he is always teazing some one to be merry, say ing, Now you, Muster what do you call 'em? do now say something to make us all laugh: come do n be comical a little. But if there is no other person will speak, he will threaten to tell you a story in make you die with laughing, and he will assure yʊr,

it is the most bestest and most comicallest scre

that ever you heard in all your bors days, and ae always interlards bis narration with, So as I so t saying, says 1, and so as he was a saying, says he says he to me, and I to kim, and he to me agon did ever you hear any thing more comical in all born days? But after he has concluded his naTStion, not finding any person even to smile at whs. says, struck with the disappointment, he puts en sad face himself, and looking round upon the pany, he says, It was a good story when I h it too: why then, so, and so, and so, that's all, kami « all, gentlemen.