A talking os-Livy gravely relates, that an ox, | lus, in Africa, had to contend with, and at length in full market, cried out" Rome! take care of killed, such a serpent by stoning him; the serpent's thyself." hide was sent to Rome.

A talking dog-Pliny, in his 8th book, tells us, that a dog spoke when Tarquin was driven from the throne.

A talking rook.-Suetonius says, a rook exclaimed in the capitol, when they were going to assassinate Domitian, "Estai panta kalon.”—-Well done.

Hewing blocks with a razor.-Livy says, that king Priscus, defying the powers of an augur, desired him to cut a whetstone in two with a razor as a proof of his magic, which he did!

An old gentleman who drank no liquid.-Pliny, in his Natural History, tells of a gentleman, whose name was Julius Viator, at Rome, who, having been prescribed not to drink largely, in all his old age forbore

and

A man born laughing-Pliny says, that Zoroaster laughed the same day wherein he was born; that the brain of this young philosopher so panted and beat, that it would raise up the hands of those who laid them on his head.

Triton.-Pausanias relates a story of a monstrously large triton, which often came on shore in the meadows of Boeotia. Over his head was a kind of finny cartilage, which, at a distance, appeared like hair; the body covered with brown scales; and nose and ears like the human; the mouth of a dreadful width, jagged with teeth, like those of a panther; the eyes of a greenish hue; the hands divided into fingers, the nails of which were crooked, and of a shelly substance. This monster, whose extremities A boy losing fifty-seven years of his life in sleep.-ended in a tail, like a dolphin, devoured both men and Pliny tells of Epimenides the gnostic, who, when a beasts as they chanced in his way. The citizens of boy, being wearied with heat and travel, laid himself Tanagra at last contrived his destruction. They set down in a certain cave, and there slept fifty-seven a large vessel, full of wine, on the sea-shore; Triton years; then awaking, he marvelled (like Nourjahad) at the great changes he observed in the world.

to drink at all.

got drunk with it, and fell into a profound sleep; in which condition the Tanagrians beheaded him, and afterwards, with great propriety, hung up his body in the temple of Bacchus: where, says Pausanias, it continued a long time.

WOMANHOOD, IN IMITATION OF CHAUCER.

Men with dogs' heads and tails, and fountains of liquid gold.-Pliny tells of men in India with dogs' heads; others with only one leg, though perfect Achilles' for swiftness of foot; of a nation of pigmies; Five hundred thousand wild beasts killed in the of some who lived by the smell; of tribes who had Coliseum.-Historians say, that on the first day of the only one eye in their forehead; and of some whose opening of the Coliseum, at Rome, Titus produced ears hung down to the ground.-Ctesias, as cited by five hundred thousand wild beasts, which were all Photius, talks of fountains of liquid gold, and of men killed in the arena. with tails in India-true we ought to remember, that Fernando Alarchon, a Spanish voyager, of undoubted credit, saw men with tails on the coast of Califor-Right welle of lerned clerkis it is said, nia; and that several others have seen men with That womanhood for man his use is made; dogs' heads. Monboddo rejoiced at this testimony, But naughtie man liketh not one or soe, although Alarchon tells us that these tails were dis- But wisheth aye unthriftilie for moe. covered to be fictitious; and we are also assured, And when by holy church to one he's ty'd that the dog-headed men were found to wear vizards. Then for his soul he cannot her abyde: As to the fountains of gold, the Indian legends say so Thus when a dogge first lighteth on a bone, metaphorically, and so they are credited as real. His tayle he waggeth, gladde therefore y growne; A serpent one hundred and twenty feet long. But if thilke bone unto his tayle you tye, Valerius Maximus says, that the artillery of Regu-Pardie, he feareth it, awaie doth flie.

1

The walk of a deceased blind beggar, (in a chari-ing is boundless, whose industry is matchless, and table neighbourhood,) with his dog and staff, were actually advertised for sale in the newspapers of 1804.

ERICAL SIN.

A rector, in his discourse on the heinous sins of cheating and defrauding one's neighbours, unluckily leaned a good deal over the pulpit; when a wag remarked, that he had omitted to mention the most monstrous of all, that of over-reaching!

LIKE MOTHER LIKE CHILD.

And, thinking praying but a useless task,
Had crawled to take a nap, into a cask.
The boy was soon found missing, and full soon
Gave him a clawing to some tune-
The boatswain's cat, sagacious smelt him out

This cat's a cousin-german to the knout. "Come out, you sculking dog," the boatswain cried, "And save your damned young sinful soul." He then the moral-mending cat applied,

A Yorkshire gentleman was one day at a dinner, where the discourse fell on the breeding a good racer, And turned him like a badger from his hole. and that a thorough bred race horse on the male side Sulky the boy marched on, and did not mind him, was best. "Nay,” said he, “ without they have it Altho' the boatswain flogging kept behind him : on the mother's side also, I am sure they will be" Flog," cried the boy, "flog-curse me, flog awaygood for nothing. Ye'll all allow that I have com- I'll go-but mind-deuce take me if I'll pray.” mon sense, but my wife is a great fool, and my children take after her."

THE SAILOR BOY AT PRAYERS.

A great law chief, whom God nor demon scares,
Compelled to kneel and pray, who swore his prayers,
The devil behind him pleased and grinning,
Patting the angry lawyer on the shoulder,
Declaring nought was ever bolder,

Admiring such a novel mode of sinning:
Like this, a subjeet would be reckoned rare,
Which proves what blood game infidels can dare ;
Which to my memory brings a fact,
Which nothing but an English tar would act.
In ships of war, on Sundays, prayers are given;
For though so wicked, sailors think of heaven,
Particularly in a storm;

Where, if they find no brandy to get drunk,
Their souls are in a miserable funk,

Then vow they to th' Almighty to reform,
If in his goodness only once, once more,
He'll suffer them to clap a foot on shore.
In calms, indeed, or gentle airs,

They ne'er on week-days pester heaven with prayers;
For 'tis amongst the Jacks a common saying, [ing."
Where there's no danger, there's no need of pray-
One Sunday morning all were met

To hear the parson preach and pray,
All but a boy, who willing to forget

That prayers were handing out, had stolen away ;|

COMPULSORY TEARS.

A countryman in the north of England had been so unkind a husband, so severe a father, so rigid a master, and so bad a neighbour in general, that not a tear was shed at his funeral. The sexton observed, that he had officiated in that capacity forty-five years, and that an instance of the sort had never happened before, and that it might not disgrace the village, he seized a litttle boy and lugged his ears most severely, which soon produced the desired effect of tears.

In charge to the teeth, so enchantingly white ;—
Should the captive attempt an elopement to save it,
By giving the lips an admonishing bite.
'Twas said, and 'twas settled, and honour departed,
Tongue quivered and trembled, but dared not rebel,
When right to its tip, secret suddenly started,

And half, in a whisper, escaped from its cell.
Quoth the teeth, in a pet, we'll be even for this,
And they bit very smartly above and beneath,
But the lips at that instant were bribed with a kiss,
And they popt out the secret in spite of the teeth.

And backwards and forwards he switch'd his long Which put him in mind of the long debates

TOM LONGFELLOW'S INN.

[The following lines are written on a pane of glass at
an inn in South Wales. The proprietor's name is
Longfellow :]

Tom Longfellow's name is most justly his due,
Long his neck, long his bill, which is very long too;
Long the time 'ere your horse to the stable is led,
Long before he's rubbed down, and much longer till
fed;

Long, indeed, may you sit in a comfortless room,
Till from kitchen long dirty, your dinner shall come:
Long the often-told-tale that your host will relate,
Long his face whilst complaining, how long people

eat

Long may Longfellow long ere he see me again,
Long 'twill be ere 1 long for Tom Longfellow's inn.

TOM MOOR OF FLEET STREET.

You must all have heard of Tom Moor, the linendraper in Fleet-street. His father, when he died, left him an affluent fortune, and a shop of excellent trade.

As he was standing at the door one day, a countryman came up to him with a nest of jackdaws, and accosting him, says, “Measter, wool he buy a nest of daws?"-"No; I don't want any."-" Measter," replied the man, "I'll sell them all cheap; you shall have the whole nest for noinpence."—“ I don't want 'em," answered Tom Moor, "so go about your business."

his head, and cry, "Who are you? who are you?
Tom Moor of Fleet-street. Tom Moor of Fleet-street."
Tom Moor was fond of gaming, and often lost large
sums of money; finding his business neglected in his
absence, he had a small hazard-table set up in one
friends to play at it.
corner of his dining-room, and invited a party of his

his cage was left open, and he hopped into every part
The jackdaw had by this time become familiar;
of the house, sometimes he got into the dining-room,
where the gentlemen were at play; one of them being
a constant winner, the other would say, "Damn it
how he nicks 'em;" the bird learnt these words also,
and adding them to the former, would call, "Who
are you? who are you? Tom Moor of Fleet-street,
Tom Moor of Fleet-street; damn it how he nicks
'em."

Tom Moor, from repeated losses and neglect o business, failed in trade, and became a prisoner in the Fleet; he took his bird with him, and lived on the master's side, supported by his friends in a decent manner. They would sometimes ask, " What brought you here?" when he used to lift up his hands, and answer, "Bad company, by G-d." The bird learnt this likewise, and at the end of the former words would say, "What brought you here?" and to imitate his master, lift up his pinion, and cry, "Bad company by G-d."

Some of Tom Moor's friends died, others went abroad, and by degrees he was totally deserted, and As the man was walking away, one of the daws removed to the common side of the prison; where the pops up his head, and cries, "Mawk, mawk."-gaol-distemper had broken out; he caught it, and in "Damn it," says Tom Moor," the bird knows my name, Halloo, countryman, what will you take for that bird?"—"Whoy, you shall have him for threepence." Tom Moor bought him, had a cage made, and hung him up in the shop.

the last stage of life lying on a straw-bed, the poor bird, who had been two days without food or water, came to his feet, and striking his bill on the floor, called out, "Who are you? who are you? Tom Moor of Fleet-street. Damn it how he nicks 'em, damn it how he nicks 'em. What brought you here? what brought you here? Bad company, by G-, bad com

The journeymen took much notice of the bird, and would frequently tap at the bottom of the cage, and say, "Who are you? who are you?" and immedi-pany, by G—.” ately reply, "Tom Moor of Fleet-street."

In a short time the jackdaw learnt these words; and is he wanted victuals or water, would strike his bill against the cage, turn up the white of his eyes, cock

Tom Moor, who had attended to the bird, was struck with his words, and reflecting on himself, cried out, "Good God! to what a situation am I reduced? My father, when he died, left me a good fortune and