The widow Jackson, now Mrs. Nethersole, was a prudent woman, and wished, as the phrase is, to bave every body's good word. It was her advice that her husband should write to his niece, Mrs. Culpepper, to acquaint her with what had happened. She had in fact drawn up a letter for his signature, n which she tendered several satisfactory apologies or the step, namely, that we are commanded to inrease and multiply: that it is not good for a man to salone: but chiefly that he had met with a woan possessed of every qualification to make the arriage state happy. Why, no, my dear," anvered the Sergeant," with submission to you, (a rase prophetic of the fact) it has been my rule tough life, whenever I had done a wrong or a foolish ed (here the lady frowned), never to own it: neto suffer judgment to go by default, and thus in in mercy,' but boldly to plead a justification. are a manuscript note of a case in point, in which was concerned. In my youth I mixed largely the fashionable world, and regularly frequented Hackney assemblies, carrying my pumps in my let. Jack Peters (he is now at Bombay) and elf, went thither, as usual, on a moonshining day, and slept at the Mermaid, The Hackney ou the following morning was returned non est tur, without giving us notice of set off; the coach was therefore engaged to hold our ys in safe custody, and then safely deposit at Power pot in Bishopsgate-street. Hardly had cd out our first cup of Souchong, when the Bow cosch stopped at the door. Here was a ever! Jack was for striking out the breakfast, Bining issue with the two other inside passen

But I said na; finish the muffins: take an

damme sort of aspect, plainly denoting to the two impatient insiders, that if there was any impertinence in their Bill, we would strike it out without a reference to the Master. The scheme took, and before we reached St. Leonard's, Shoreditch, egad! they were as supple as a couple of candidates for the lu dia direction. Now that case, my dear, must govern this. Don't say a civil word to the Culpeppers about our marriage; if you do, there will be no end to their remonstrances: leave them to find it out in the Morning Chronicle."

"This is a very awkward affair, Mrs. Culpepper," said that lady's husband. with the Morning Chronicle in his hand. "Awkward?" echoed Mrs. Culpepper, "it's abominable: a nasty fellow; he ought to be ashamed of himself! And as for his wife, she

1

is no better than she should be!"-" That may be," said the husband, "but we must give them a dinner notwithstanding." Dinner or no dinner," said the wife, "I'll not laugh any more at that stupid old story of his about Brother Van and Brother Bear." "Then I will," resumed the husband," for there may possibly be no issue of the marriage." Miss Jennings, the outwitted spinster, tired two pair of horses in telling all her friends from Southamptonstreet, Bloomsbury, to Cornwall-terrace, in the Regent's-Park, how shamefully Mrs. Jackson had be haved. She then drove to the Register-office abovementioned, to transfer her affections to one Mr. Samuel Smithers, another old bachelor barrister, an inseparable crony of Nethersole's, whom, she opined, must now marry from lack of knowing what to do with himself. Alas! she was a day too late: he had that very morning married the vacant bar-maid at Nando's.

When the honey-moon of Mr. Serjeant Nethersole was on the wane,

In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,
And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find,
That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind.
Then holding the Spectacles up to the court-
Your lordship observes they are made with a
straddle,

As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.
Again, would your lordship a moment suppose,
(Tisa case that has happen'd, and may be again;)
bat the visage or countenance had not a Nose,
Pray who would or who could wear Spectacles then?
In the whole it appears-and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn,
hat the Spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.
ien, shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how,)
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes;
it what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.
bis lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,
Jecisive and clear, without one if or but,

THE OLD SOLDIER

whenever the Nose put his Spectacles on, day-light or candle-light-Eyes should be shut! COWPER. was born in Shropshire, my father was a la, and died when I was five years old; so I pat apon the parish. As he had been a wansort of a man, the parishioners were not able to what parish I belonged, or where I was born, ey sent me to another parish, and that parish me to a third. I thought in my heart, they ading me about so long, that they would not be born in any parish at all; but, at last, howfey fixed me. I had some disposition to be es, and was resolved, at least, to know my bat the master of the workhouse put me to as as soon as I was able to handle a mallet; ere I lived an easy kind of life for five years.

I only wrought ten hours in the day, and had my meat and drink provided for my labour. It is true, was not suffered to stir out of the house, for fear, as they said, I should run away; but what of that? I had the liberty of the whole house, and the yard before the door, and that was enough for me. I was then bound out to a farmer, where I was up both early and late; but I ate and drank well, and liked my business well enough, till he died, when I was obliged to provide for myself; so I was resolved to go and seek my fortune.

In this manner I went from town to town, worked when I could get employment, and starved when I could get none: when happening one day to go through a field belonging to a justice of peace, I spied a hare crossing the path just before me; and 1 believe the devil put it in my head to fling my stick at it:-Well, what will you have on't? I killed the hare, and was bringing it away in triumph, when the justice himself met me; he called me a poacher and a villain, and collaring me, desired I would give begged his worship's pardon, and began to give a an account of myself. I fell upon ny knees, full account of all that I knew of my breed, seed. and generation; but, though I gave a very good account, the justice would not believe a syllable I had to say; so I was indicted at sessions, found guilty of being poor, and sent up to London to Newgate, in order to be transported as a vagabond.

People may say this and that of being in jail; but, for my part, I found Newgate as agreeable a place as ever I was in all my life. I had my belly full to eat and drink, and did not work at all. This kind of life was too good to last for ever; so I was taken out of prison, after five months, put on board a ship, and sent off, with two hundred more, to the plantations. We had but an indifferent passage, for, being all confined in the hold, more than a hundred of our people died for want of sweet air; and those that remained were sickly enough, God knows. When we came ashore we were sold to the planters, and I was bound for seven years more. As I was no scholar, for I did not know my letters,

I was obliged to work, among the negroes; and I served out my time, as in duty bound to do.

but that our ship was taken by the French, and so I lost all.

I was very happy in thus manner for some time, till one evening, coming home from work, two men knocked me down, and then desired me to stand, They belonged to a press-gang; I was carried before the justice, and, as I could give no account of myself, I had my choice left, whether to go on board a man of war, or list for a soldier. I chose the latter; and in this post of a gentleman, I served two campaigns in Flanders, was at the battles of Val and Fontenoy, and received but one wound, through the breast here; but the doctor of our regiment soon made me well again.

When the peace came on I was discharged; and, as I could not work, because my wound was sometimes troublesome, I listed for a landsman in the East India company's service. I here fought the French in six pitched battles; and I verily believe, that, if I could read or write, our captain would have made me a corporal. But it was not my good fortune to have any promotion, for I soon fell sick, and so got leave to return home again with forty pounds in my pocket. This was at the beginning of the present war, and I hoped to be set on shore, and to have the pleasure of spending my money; but the government wanted men, and so I was pressed for a sailor before ever I could se foot on shore.

The boatswain found me, as he said, an obstinate fellow; he swore he knew that I understood my business well, but that I shammed Abraham, merely to be idle; but God knows, I knew nothing of seabusiness, and he beat me, without considering what he was about. I had still, however, my forty pounds, and that was some comfort to me under every beating; and the money I might have had to this day

was seasoned. One night, as I was sleeping on the bed of boards, with a waria blanket about me, for I always loved to lie well, I was awakened by the boatswain, who had a dark lanthorn in his hand; Jack,' says he to me, will you knock out the French sentry's brains? I don't care,' says I, striving to keep myself awake, if I lend a hand. Then follow me,' says he, and I hope we shall do business.' So up I got and tied my blanket, măică was all the clothes I had, about my middle, and went with him to fight the Frenchmen. I hate the French, because they are slaves, and wear wook shoes.

Though we had no arms, one Englishman is able to beat five French at any time; so we went down to the door, where both the sentries were posted, and rushing upon them, seized their arms in a noment, and knocked them down. From thever, nam of us ran together to the quay, and, seizing the first boat we met, got out of the harbour and put to c We had not been here three days before we were taken up by the Dorset privateer, who were glad of so many good hands; and we consented to run cur chance. However, we had not so much lock as me expected. In three days we fell in with the Pony #dour privateer, of forty guns, while we had lat twenty-three; so to it we went, yard-arm and ya ́éarm. The fight lasted for three hours, and I verily believe we should have taken the Frenchman, bad we but had some more men left behind; but, uz fortunately, we lost all our men just as were going u get the victory.

I was once more in the power of the French, and ' I believe it would have gone hard with me, kad been brought back to Brest; but by good fortun we were retaken by the Viper, I had almost for to tell you, that, in that engagement, I was work in two places; 1 lost four fingers of the left brand