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The Turk in linen wraps his head,
The Persian his in lawn too,
The Russ with sables furs his cap,
And change will not be drawn to:
The Spaniard's constant to his block,
The French inconstant ever,
But of all felts that can be felt,
Give me the English beaver.
The German loves his coney-wool,
The Irishman his shag too,

The Welsh his Monmouth loves to wear,

And of the same will brag too.

Some love the rough, and some the smooth.
Some great, and others small things.
But the free-hearted Englishman,

He loves to deal in all things.

The Russ drinks quass; Dutch, Lubeck beer,
And that is strong and mighty,
The Briton he metheglin quaffs,
The Irish aqua vita.

The French affects the Orleans grape,
The Spaniard tastes his sherry,
The English none of these lets slip,
But with them all makes merry.

The Italian in her high chopine,
Scotch lass and lovely frow too,
The Spanish Donna, French Madame,
He will not fear to go to,
Nothing so full of hazard dread,
Nought lives above the centre,

No fashion, health, no wine, nor wench,
On which he will not venture.

CAMBRIDGE BEDMAKERS.

This office is not confined to sex. In justice to the women, they have not only been reckoned adepts at making a bed, secundum artem, as the phrase is-but, when they have had a mind to it, have shown themselves very alert in helping to un-make the bed they have made, secundum naturam! Indeed, these their natural parts and endowments were at one time so notorious, or generally known, that, by a most mer

ciless and unmanly decree of the senate, the whole sex was rusticated!

"It is enacted, that no woman, of whatever age e condition, be permitted in any college to make any one's bed, or to go to the hall, kitchen, or buttery, to carry the provision to any one's chamber, unless she be sent for as a nurse; which nurse must be mature age, good fame, and either wife or widow but upon no account young maids be permitted attend the students' chambers." This statute w made in 1625. O tempora! O MULIERES! The is no scruple in the present Saturnian age, respect the admission of "young maids" into the stude chambers."

GAZETTED AND IN THE GAZETTE.

These terms imply very different things. Te of a nobleman is gazetted, as a cornet in a regi and all his friends rejoice, John Thomson is: Gazette, and all his friends lament.

BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE.

Jacobus de Voragine, in twelve arguments. thetic, succinct, and elegant, has described the fits of marriage, as follows:

1. Hast thou means? Thou hast one to keep increase it.

2. Hast none? Thou hast one to help to get 3. Art thou in prosperity? She doubles it. 4. Art in adversity? She'll comfort, assist, part.

5. Art thou at home? She'll drive away choly.

6. Art thou abroad? She prays for ther, thee at home, welcomes thee with joy.

7. Nothing is delightsome alone. No s equal to marriage.

8. The bond of conjugal love is adamantise 9. Kindred is increased, parents doubled, t sisters, families, nephews.

10. Thou art a father by a legal and happ 11. Barren matrimony is cursed by Moes much more a single life!

12. If nature escape not punishment, thy will shall not avoid it, as he sung it, that, without mar

nage,

*Earth, air, sea, land. eftsoon will come to nought, The world itself would be to ruin brought."

LINES WRITTEN ON THE WINDOW of an IRISH INN.

When I have cash, I mount a gig,
When I have none I hop the twig.
When I have cash its hurly-burly,
When I have none, I'm dull and surly.
When I have cash, why then I roof it,
When I have none, I'm glad to hoof it.

HOW TO BREAK ILL-NEWS,

Mr. G.-Ha! Jervas, how are you, my old boy? how do things go on at home?

Steward.-Bad enough, your honour.

pir's dead.

Mr. G-Poor mag! so he is gone, he to die?

Steward.-Over-ate himself, sir.

The magHow came

Mir. G.-Did he, faith! a greedy dog! Why, what did he get that he liked so well? Steward.-Horse-flesh, sir;

he died of eating horse

Besa!
Mr. G.-How came he to get so much horse-flesh?
Steward. All your father's horses, sir.
Mr. G.-What are they dead too?
Steward.-Aye, sir, they died of over-work.
Mr. G-And why were they over-worked, pray?
Steward. To carry water, sir,

Mr. G.-To carry water! and what were they anying water for ?

Shard-Sure sir, to put out the fire.

Mr. G.-Fire what fire?

Steward.-Oh, sir! your father's house is burnt down to the ground.

Mr. G-My father's house burnt down! and how crae it set on fire?

Steward. At your mother's funeral. Mr. G.-My mother dead. Steward.-Ah! poor lady! she never looked up after it.

Mr. G.-After what?

Steward. The loss of your father.

Mr. G.-My father gone, too! Steward-Yes, poor gentleman! he took to his bed as soon as he heard of it.

Mr. G.-Heard of what!

Steward. The bad news, sir, an' please your honour.

Mr. G.-What! more miseries ?-more bad news? Steward.--Yes, sir, your bank has failed, your credit is lost, and you are not worth a shilling in the world; I made bold, sir, to come to wait on you to tell you about it, for I thought you would like to hear the news.

BISHOP.

In Cambridge, this title is not confined to the dignitaries of the church; but port wine, made copiously potable by being mulled and burnt, with the addenda of roasted lemons all bristling like angry hedge-hogs (studded with cloves,) is dignified with the appellation of Bishop.

Beneath some old oak, come and rest thee, my hearty;

Our foreheads with roses, oh! let us entwine! And, inviting young Bacchus to be of the party, We'll drown all our troubles in oceans of wine! And, perfumed with Macassar or Otto of roses, We'll pass round the BISHOP, the spice-breathing

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The remarkable circumstance which occurred conSteward.-I think, sir, it must have been the cerning a certain part of Huntington's dress, has made the S. S. known beyond the little sphere of his own followers.

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Mr. G.-Torches! what torches ?

"A light heart and a thin pair of breeches, Go through the world, my brave boys;" but the latter qualification is better for going through the world on foot than on horseback; so uncle Toby found it, and so did Huntington, who must be his own historian: no language but his own can do justice to such a story; and it is in itself so pithy, that to use the words of Fuller the Worthy, all compendium would be dispendium thereof.

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Having now had my horse for some time, and riding a great deal every week, I soon wore my breeches out, as they were not fit to ride in. I hope the reader will excuse my mentioning the word breeches, which I should have avoided, had not this passage of scripture obtruded into my mind, just as I had resolved in my own thoughts not to mention this kind providence of God. And thou shalt make them lineu breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs shall they reach. And they shall be upon Aaron and upon his sons when they come into the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near unto the altar to minister in the holy place; that they bear not iniquity and die. It shall be a statute for ever unto him and his seed after him," Exod. xxviii. 42, 43. By which, and three others, namely, Ezek. xliv. 18; Lev. vi. 10; and Lev. xvi. 4; I saw that it was no crime to mention the word breeches, nor the way in which God sent them to me; Aaron and his sons being clothed entirely by Providence; and as God himself condescended to give orders what they should be made of, and how they should be cut. And I believe the same God ordered mine, as I trust it will appear in the following history.

"The scripture tells us to call no man master, for one is our master, even Christ. I therefore told my most bountiful and ever-adored Master what I wanted; and he, who stripped Adam and Eve of their fig-leaved aprons and made coats of skins and clothed them; and who clothes the grass of the field, which to-day is and to-morrow is cast into the oven; must clothe us, or we shall soon go naked; so Israel found it, when God took away his wool and his flax,

which he gave to cover their nakedness, and which they prepared for Baal; for which iniquity were ther skirts discovered, and their heels made bare, Jer xiii. 22.

"I often made very free in my prayers with my invaluable Master for this favour; but he still et me so amazingly poor that I could not get them any rate. At last I was determined to go to a fr of mine at Kingston, who is of that branch of baseness, to bespeak a pair; and to get him to trust m until my Master sent me money to pay him. I was that day going to London, fully determined t bespeak them, as I rode through the town. Howell when I passed the shop I forgot it; but when I came to London I called on Mr. Croucher, a chocmaisin Shepherd's Market, who told me a parcel was in there for me, but what it was he knew not. it, and behold there was a pair of leather breeches, A I opened a note in them! the substance of which was, to the best of my remembrance, as follows:

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Sir,-I have sent you a pair of breeches, hope they will fit. I beg your acceptance of them and, if they want any alteration, leave in a note w the alteration is, and I will call in a few days a alter them.

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"I tried them on, and they fitted as well as f had been measured for them; at which I was amaze having never been measured by any leather breeck maker in London. I wrote an answer to the tetethis effect:

"Sir, I received your present, and thank you it. I was going to order a pair of leather break to be made, because I did not know till now that Master had bespoke them of you. They fit very which fully convinces me that the same God moved thy heart to give, guided thy hand to because he perfectly knows my size, having clo me in a miraculous manner for near five years. W you are in trouble, sir, I hope you will tell my Ma of this, and what you have done for me, and he repay you with honour."

This is as near as I am able to relate it, added,

I cannot make out I. S. unless I put I. for Israelite | for tutors or proctors, for masters or vice-chancelindeed, and S. for Sincerity; because you did not lors, since his whole aim is pleasure and amusement, sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do."

HOW TO DETAIN THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ARTS

IN CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY.

since a day's hard reading would drive him half mad word of the meaning of which he professes to be or give him the blue devils; since subordination is a ignorant; and since rows and sprees are the delight The aspiring student who may be ignorant of the of his soul. He is never seen in academicals till hall course of study he is to pursue at the University, time, or towards evening, and then only puts them will find ample information in the pages of the Cam-on for "dacency's sake," or because it is a custom bridge Calendar; but as he cannot be expected to throughout the "varsity." But in the day, he is seen devote every hour of his undergraduateship to read-in a Jarvey tile, or a low-crowned-broad-brim, a pair ing, he must find out amusements for his leisure mo- of white swell tops, varmint inexpressibles, a regular ments, and a few agreeable friends to be the com-flash waistcoat, and his coat of a nameless cut; his panions of his mirth, and his exercises, as well as his "cloth" of the most uncommon pattern, tied after his tradies. To obtain companions, he must be inducted, own way, and a short crookt-stick or bit o' plant in his and to pass his leisure time in conviviality and mirth, hand; and thus he goes out riding: or he may dress Le must give or be invited to entertainments. At differently, and lounge through the streets, always in these entertainments he will meet with other promis- company with a friend or two, visiting saddlers, miling young men of various descriptions, and he will liners, barbers, bootmakers, and tailors; or looking in urally be inducted to, and make acquaintances at a friend's rooms, and to arrange matters for the Caongst, a portion of these young men. Now it is day: or, if fine, he may make up a water-party, if in adenable that a young man for his improvement, the summer term, and go down the Camus in a sixnental as well as coporeal, must see society; and ie will naturally copy the manners of his college esquaintances, in order that he might not seem a ifferent being amongst them. He will enter into sir pursuits, do the same as they do, and, in short, frexed to the degree of B. A. in the regular varmint

anner.

Now the varmint way to proceed to B. A. degree -Cut lectures, go to chapel as little as possi*, dine in hall seldom more than once a week, give dies and Spreads, keep a horse or two, go to wmarket, attend the six-mile bottom, drive a wear varmint clothes and well-built coats, be smoke a rum one at Barnwell, a regular go at Zealand, a staunch admirer of the bottle, and adama for no man. "At lucre or renown let Vers aim," for a varmint-man spurns a scholarship, eld consider it a degradation to be a fellow, and for taking an honour, it would be about the very Me that could enter his head. What cares he Celebrated as the residences of the Cyprian tribes.

oar, dine at Clay-hive, or Ditton, or take a snack at Chesterton, and return in the evening; or he may walk out to Chesterton to play at billiards, and return plus or minus the sum he started with; or he may drive out in a buggy; or do fifty other things, and enter into fifty other schemes, all productive of amusement. In the evening he dines at his own rooms, or at those of a friend, and afterwards blows a cloud, puffs at a segar, and drinks copiously. He then sings a song, tells a story, comments on the events of the day, talks of horses, gives his opinion on the ensuing race between Highflyer and Emilius, or makes bets on the late fight between Spring and Langan. After this the whole party sit down to unlimited loo, and half-guinea, or "guinea points, and here again he comes off plus or minus 401. or 50%. If he has lost, he is no way concerned at it, for he is sure of winning as much the succeeding night; he therefore takes his glass or sits down to supper, and gets to bed about two or three in the morning. Determined to sleep a few, after having cast off his

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habiliments, he hops into bed, and snores-somno rustication or expulsion. Thus dismissed the august vinoque gravatus, till about six in the evening, and presence, he recounts this jobation to his friends, and then gets up more sleepy than ever. He dresses; but enters into a discourse on masters, deans, tulore, and having no appetite, eats nothing, drinks a glass of proctors, and votes chapel a bore, and gates a costa soda-water, and walks to a friend's rooms, where he plete nuisance. But is this all? no. He has resolved relates his adventures and excites the risibility of his to treat the dons with contempt, and go on more gally auditors. He then resolves on a ride, and without than ever. Accordingly he cuts chapel, and togging for the occasion, just puts on his tile and forth at night sine cap and gown, with a segar in his mounts his prad. Determining to be very steady and mouth. He is determined to have a lark with twe sober for the future, i. e. for the next twelve hours, three more, and away they go. While they are pa he urges his steed along the Trumpington Road, goes ing the girls about in the street, up comes the pre out by the Shelford Common, and returns home be-tor: " Pray, sir, may I ask if you are a member tween eight and nine. He then feels as if he could the University?"-"Yes, sir, I am."-" Your eat something, and accordingly he does, by way of and college, sir, if you please." It is given wata supper, and retires to his rooms, with an intention of the least hesitation. The next morning a budd being quiet, and in order to go early to bed. But lo! calls on Mr. Varmint to deliver a message from t he is told by his gyp that the master or dean has proctor, viz:-That he is fined 6s. 8d. for being t sent a message desiring to see him the next morning. streets without his cap and gown, and that he wa Well knowing what this is for, he goeth to bed and be glad to see him at twelve o'clock that day. cons over in his own mind what to say in extenuation he has to call on the proctor, and in he goes of his irregularities, and he so falleth to sleep. Next very surly countenance. The proctor puts an day, he calls at the appointed time, when the M. C. his most severe phizzes, and informs him tan: *with a countenance not to be surpassed in gravity, conduct in the streets last might was most ungy » » informs him for the last week he has been very irre-man-like and improper, against every rule of gular, and requires an account of the circumstances and propriety, and in open opposition to the Aca which occasioned the said irregularity. For the discipline, and contempt of him and his office. gate-bill thus standeth: Monday night, out till three such conduct deserved much severer chastise o'clock; Tuesday half past four; Wednesday half than he was willing to inflict, but that be shepast two; Thursday half past three; Friday half past neglecting the duty he owed to his offre zi four; Saturday-all night. His excuses are that he University if he overlooked it. He therefore Chas been at different parties, where he was detained him to get three hundred verses of Homer's! late, and where he has found the society so agreeable, Book second, by heart, and requests he will y and the time fly so imperceptibly fast, that morning means leave the University until it is said. has broke in upon him ere he imagined it was an hour a great deal of opposition, excuses, and protes past midnight. This draws down a very heavy in- he finds himself not a bit better off, for the p vective against parties altogether, and a still longer will not mitigate a syllable, and he is obl and more tedious lecture on the dangerous tendency stomach the impos. and retire. For the first of such conduct, so directly opposite to the laws and two afterwards he makes himself very uncar discipline of the University; and a conclusive para- this, but he at length resolves not to learn graph containing (amongst other things) a pardon for ever should be the consequence. He ther past offences, but with an assurance that a repetition out to a party, makes himself very merry, an of similar conduct cannot but meet with a concomi- not a fig about the matter. Next mersing to tant cheque in proportion to its enormity, in either pens, unlucky wigh to meet with the des

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