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wnjoyed the ineffable pleasure of being for ever pestered by visitors, who cared nothing about them; of being squeezed, and smothered, and parboiled at nightly balls, and evening tea-parties; they were allowed the privilege of forgetting the very few old friends they once possessed ; they turned their noses up in the wind at every thing that was not genteel; and their superb manners and sublime affectation at length left it no longer a matter of doubt that the Giblets were perfectly in the style. The BAckbiter. No, Varus hates a thing that's base, I own, indeed, he's got a knack Of flatt"ring people to their face, But scorns to do’t behind their back.
Hunt to travellers.
Upon a black board, besprinkled with white lears, and hung up in a public-house, in England, is the following inscription:--"This monument is erected to the memory of Trust, who was some time ago cruelly put to death by Credit ; a fellow who is prowling about the country plotting the ruin of all publicans.”
Mrs. Dobbs. At Home.
“The common chat of gossips when they meet.”
He who knows Hackney, needs must know
Soune magnified them to eleven,
The person of one of the mistresses of the second George, Madam Kilmansegge (afterwards Countess of Darlington)—is thus described by Horace Walpole : “Lady Darlington, whom I saw at my mother's in my infancy, and whom I remember by being terrified at her enormous figure, was as corpulent and aunple as the Duchess of Kendal(another of the royal mistresses)—was long and emaciated. Two fierce black eyes, large and rolling, beneath two lofty arched eyebrows, two acres of cheeks spread with crimson, an ocean of neck that overslowed and was not distinguished from the lower part of her body, and no part restrained by stays, no wonder that a child dreaded such an ogress, and that the mob of London were highly diverted at the importation of so uncommon a seraglio !—One of the German ladies being abused by the mob, was said to have put her head out of the coach, and cried in bad English, “Good people. why you abuse us? We came for all your goods.”—“Yes, damn yet” answered a fellow in the crowd, “and for all our chattels too.”
The END of The WORLD.
One day, the rocks from top to toe shall quiver,
And then the CHIEF CHIEF-JUSTICF, venging
wrath (which he already often threaten’d hath), shall make a bon-fire of this mighty ball, As once he made it a vast ocean all.
swift upon BURNET.
In the Lansdown library, there is a copy of “Burnet's History of his Own Times,” filled with remarks on the margin in the hand-writing of Swift. Burnet, it is well known, was no favourite with the Dean. We select a few specimens:– Preface, p. 3. Burnet, “Indeed, the peevishmess, the ill-mature, and the ambition of many clergymen, have sharpened my spirits perhaps too much against them; so I warn my readers to take all that I say on those heads with soune grains of allowance.”—Swift. “I will take his warning.” P. 28. Burnet. “The Earl of Argyle was a more solemn sort of man, grave and sober, and free of all scandalous vices.”—Swift. “As a unan is free of a corporation, he means.” P. 49. Burnet. “I will not enter farther into the military part; for I remember an advice of Marshal Schomberg, never to meddle in military matters. His observation was, “Some affected to relate those affairs in all the terms of war, in which they committed great errors, that exposed them to the scorn of all commanders, who must despise relations that pretend to exactness, when there were blunders in every part of them.’”—Swift. “Wery foolish advice, for soldiers cannot write.” P. 5. Burnet. “Upon the King's death, the Scots proclaimed his son King, and sent over Sir George Wincan, that married my great aunt, to treat with him while he was in the Isle of Jersey.” —Swift, “Was that the reason why he was sent o' P. 63. Burnet. (Speaking of the Scotch preachers in the time of the civil wars.) “The crowds were far beyond the capacity of their churches or the reach of their voices.”—Swift. “And the preaching beyond the capacity of the
crowd. I believe the church has as much caro"
Greeks and Romans.”—Swift. * Take -
progress of his own life.) “ The
"The unheard-off Sure all Europe heard of it.” P.799. Burnet. “When I heard of the account of King James's flight, I was affected with this dismal reverse of fortune in a great Prince, more than I think fit to express.”—Swift. “Or than I will believe.” P. 816. Burnet. “It was proposed that the birth of the pretended Prince might be inquired via, and he was ordered to gather together all the presumptive proofs that were formerly mentioned; it is truc these did not amount to a full and legal proof; yet they seemed to be such violent pre*mptions, that when they were all laid together, they were more convincing than plain and downtight evidence, for that was liable to the suspicion of subornation, whereas the others seemed to carry on them very convincing characters of truth and tonformity."—Swift. “Well said, Bishop.”
When learning and science were both sunk in night,
When all who profess this great heaven-taught art, Mod have liberty, virtue, and knowledge at heart, one join in these verses, and now bear a part, - To carol, &c. Tho' every composer a galley must have, Yet judge hot from that a composer's a slave, or printing has often dug tyranny's grave. Then carol, &c. orrection he needs, all mankind does the same, **on be quadrates his matter, he is not to blame, ** to justification he lays a strong claim. Then carol, &c. o' he daily imposes, ’tis not to do wrong, * Nimrod he follows the chase all day long,
* always to him a good slice does belong. Then carol, &c.
Tho' no antiquary, he deals much in coins,
And freedom with loyalty closely combines,
And to aid the republic of letters he joins.
Extremes he avoids, and in medium invites,
the JUDGE BURied in his OWN cellAR,
One of the judges in King Charles II.'s reign, being in the long vacation, at his country-house, in Holsworth, Suffolk, happened to fall into a deep fit of the hypochondria, insomuch that he fancied himself to be dead; and was so very obstinate under the influence of his whimsical distemper, that he would not be persuaded to stir hand or foot, or receive any sustenance, but by force, till he had brought his body into a very low condition. In this stubborn frenzy he lay upon his back, stretched out at his full length, like a corpse, and motionless; neither his physician nor his family knowing what to do with him. A famous High German doctor coming into the town, attended with fools and rope-dancers, to pick the country people's pockets of a little money, hearing of so eminent a person under this unaccountable indispositiou, took an occasion, the first time that he inqunted his public theatre, to mention this matter to his country chubs, telling them their country physicians were all fools, and that the judge was only troubled with the mulligrubs; and that if his lady would send for him he would undertake to bring him to his speech, set him upon his legs, make him walk, talk, eat, drink, or do any thing in four and twenty hours time, or else he would desire nothing for his trouble. This large promise of the mountebank was soon communicated to the judge's lady, who sent immediately for the Dutch tooth-drawer, to consult him about the matter; who told her positively he could soon cure him if she would promise a hundred guineas reward, provided he had leave, without interruption, to do as he should see fit. Both parties being agreed, the doctor sent his man for a joiner and a coffin. When every thing was in order, the doctor and the lady entered the room where the body lay. No sooner had the doctor cast an eye upon his sullen patient, than he cried out to the lady, “Lord, madam, what makes you send for a physician to a dead man; for shame, keep him not above ground any longer. Upon my word, madam, he has been dead so long that if you do not bury him quickly, the scent of his corpse will breed a plague.”—“I have had a coffin in the house for some time, (replied the lady,) but was loth to have him buried too soon.”—“By all means, (said the doctor,) let it be brought in, and order him to be nailed up immediately.”—“Pray, doctor, (said the lady,) do you stay a little in the room, for fear the rats should disfigure the corpse, and I will step and order some of my servants to bring in the coffin presently.” The patient heard all this, but was still too much anused to break silence; the lady came accordingly, and the serwants with the coffin, who set it down by the bed
side, and having wrapt their master in wa blankets, laid him into the coffin, put on the and pretended to nail him up. - They now orde the great bell of the church to be tolled, the might think they were bearing him to his on instead of which, they carried him into hiswine-cellar, where they set a person to wateh till a good supper was prepared; in the let the doctor ordered his lady and her servant disguise themselves in winding-sheets, to repor ghosts or spirits, the doctor making one of party. When they were thus equipped, the de led the van of these hobgoblins, and went
the cellar, where they attered their voices, so into a merry, extravagant chat, concernho affairs of the upper world, rattling the to and the glasses, extolling their happines
death, and drinking to the remembrance of friends they had left behind. In a short time per was laid, and they fell to with seeming jo as they were thus merrily eating and caren “What’s the matter, (says the doctor.) win melancholy ghost, that he does not rise out coffin He has been amongst us this fort and has not yet given us any of his coro surely he is sadly tired of his journey out . other world, for he has a long sleep as prithee wake him, and ask him to eat wit One of the most frightsul of the spectres. * taper in his hand, now opened the lid . coffin, and bawled in his eurs, “ Mag-u Huggle-Duggle, deputy-governor ef the
regions, desires your company to suppw him.” Upon which he raised his head to to of the coffin, and beholding so unany figures feeding heartily, “Pray, (said dead unen eat?”—“Aye, and drink too. v. doctor,) or how should they live?”—“ Tse, the judge.) if eating be the custom of th: try, I will make my resurrection, and to with you.” They now conducted bina v. at the table. “Truly, (said he,) I, an ve to find that dead men live so merrity --— may we live so inerrily, (said the doctor.)