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going to war. - Bower, when some thought they had detected as a jesuit, and who at most was but detected as an impostor, had laid open the practices of the catholics, and detailed the establishments of the jesuits in the very heart of London, without occasioning either alarm or murmur against those father. Yet, uninflammable as the times were, they carried a great mixture of superstition. Masquerades had been abolished because there had been an earthquake at Lisbon; and when the last jubilge masquerade was exhibited at Ranelagh, the ale-houses and roads to Chelsea were crowded with drunken people, who assembled to denounce the judgements of God on persons of fashion, whose greatest sin was dressing themselves ridiculously. A more inconvenient reformation, and not a more sensible one, was set on foot by societies of tradesmen, who denounced to the "magistrates all bakers that baked or sold bread on Sundays. Alum, and the variety of spurious ingredients with which bread, and indeed all wares were adulterated all the week round, gave not half so much offence as the vent of the chief necessary of life on the seventh day. Some of the elders too of our own church, seeing what harvests were brought into the tabernacles of Whitfield and Wesley, by familiarising God's word to the vulgar, and by elevating vulgar language, had the discretion to apply the same call to their own lost sheep, and tinkled back their old women by sounding the brass of the methodists. One Ashtou, a quaint and fashionable preacher of the orthodox, talked to the people in a phrase compounded of cant and politics; he reproved them for not coming so church, where “God keeps a day but sees little company t” and informed them that “our ancestors loved powder and ball, and so did our generals; but the latter loved them for their hair and hands.”

ROYAL LeARNING. The present King of Persia made many inquiries of Sir Harford Jones respecting America, saying, “What sort of a place is it How do you get at it Is it under ground, or how "

The LAUGH in G. Phil,OSOPHER,

MATRIMONIAL FELICITY, ~

Affection.

A messenger, in breathless haste,
With hair erected on his head,
In Cornaro's chamber prest,
And rush’d up to the sleeper's
The sleeper lay in sweet repose, ,
The wasted strength of life restorino,
Lulled by the music of his nose;
Which mortals vulgarly call snoring.
The stranger shook him pretty roughly,
And tweaked his nose, and pulled *
At last Cornaro, rather gruffly,
Asked what the devil brought him theo
The messenger, in great distress,
At length in broken accents said,
“O ! sir! they’ve sent me here express
To tell you that your wife is dead!"
“Indeed f" the widowed man replied,
Turning upon his other side,
And pulling o'er his eyes his cap,
in hopes of finishing his map—
“To-morrow, when I wake, you'll see
How long and loud my grief shall be!"

Chiswick.

Dr. Blunderton, the rector of Chis time the Earl of Burlington built his " there, had been made to believe that was entirely formed of cheese. The doo lated this report so often, that he, by persuaded himself of its truth. The tained a foundation, which was this. roinehow or other, discovered Wow Wr Chistcirk was Cheese-trick; and, theres suade the world that he was an antiqua sulted with the best architects in \y but had not tali-fied himself abows t materials. Brick was vulgar, and might have a brick-house. Freestwoe sively dear. At length, upon conlian i.bbate, who had an uncie in the Lodi, where the Parmesan cheese is Italian had the nd dress, for the bencil

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who was the greatest factor in the province, to glimmering light enter my chamber.”—“ of a posuade the earl to case his house with the parings | blue colour, was it not?”—“Of a pale blue '-'The of Parmesan cheese. The oddity of the idea light was followed by a tall, meagre, stern figure, wruck the earl, and some thousands of the oldest who appeared as an old man of seventy years of and largest Parmesan cheeses were selected for age, arrayed in a long light-coloured rug gown, the purpose. and shipped from Venice for Eng- bound round with a leathern girdle; his beard land. The house was cased with this curious en- thick and grisly, his hair scant and straight, his ope with a cement brought from Italy, and the face of a dark sable hue, on his head a large fur

orri's chorsemonger's bill announted to an enor- as sum. which exceeded the bills of all the aber artificers put together. A fine summer saw or house completed ; but, from the damps, dews, 1 drains, of the winter, the checse façades became ..ft. and, by their odour, attracted all the rats in - part.h. which. added to the company, they rankht with them from the Thames, so inuch un!-runned and damaged the casin: of the house, • at the abbate was amathematized, and the crustaea of the building was changed to what it now is.

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cap, and in his hand a long staff. Terror seized iny whole frame—I trembled till the bed almost shook, and cold drops hung on every limb : the figure, with a slow and solemn step, stalked nearer and nearer.”—“Did you not speak to it? There was money hid, and murder committed, without doubt.”—“My lord, I did speak to it. I adjured it, by all that was holy, to tell me whence and why it thus appeared 7”—“And in IIeaven's name, what was the reply "-" It was accompanied, iny lord, by three strokes of his staff upon the floor, so loud that they made the room ring again; when, holding up his lantern, and then waving it close to my eyes, he told the he was the watchman and came to give me notice that my streetdoor was wide open, and unless I arose and shut it, I might chance to be robbed before morning.”

THE PAINTER of FLORENCE. There once was a Painter in Catholic days, Like Job who eschewed all evil; Still on his Madonnois the curious may gaze, With applause and amazement, but chiefly his praise - And delight was in painting the Devil. They were angels compared to the devils he drew, Who besieged poor St. Anthony's cell, Such burning hot eyes, such a d-mnable hue, You could even smell brimstone, their breath was so blue, He painted his devils so well.

And now had the artist a picture begun, 'Twas over the Virgin's ehurch-door; She stood on the dragon, embracing her son, Many devils already the artist had done, , But this must out-do all before. so r

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fally, utill subsisting in that ancient kingdom; out, being a foreigner in Troy, to which city he Iod some of his countrymen, in the defence of Priam, as Dictys Cretensis learnedly observes, Bector fell in love with his daughter, and the father's name was Andrew Mackay. The young lady was called by the same name, only a little oftened to the Grerian accent. Horne Tooke, in his Diversions of Purley, intotates the derivation of King Pepin from the forek noun ospers as thus—osper, eper, oper; *impro; napkin, nipkin, pipkin, pepin—king-King Pepin I. And, in another work, we find the etymology of pickled cucumber from King Jere* I exempli gratia, King Jeremiah—Jeremiah o so jerkin, girkin, pickled curamber I Also, the name of Mr. Fox, as derived fran a rainy-day ; as thus—Rainy-day, rain a little, rain much, rain hard, reynard, fox : optical deficiency. A poor man once lost his sight by an aceident, and having been placed under some skilful oculist, ackily and strangely recovered it; he was in*ructed to use it gradually, and was able at length * look boldly and firmly at distant objects, saw with ease ships on the horizon, boats in the distarre, houses, horses, dogs, flies, and even fleas; witHl, to the astonishment of the faculty, he was *\le to read the largest-type. As reading was * We the criterion of his recovery, away went the *ppointed oculists, and doctors, and apotheca**, physicking lancetting, lotioning, rubbing, ** **ing at the eyes as hard as they possibly old, otl at the termination of a fortnight, they * enhaasied all their skils, and nearly killed * Patient. “Gentlemen,” said the sufferer, * be a you for your exertions, I assure you I * quite wril enough. I have sufficiently recooted the use of my eyes to satisfy myself; I see *we harves and cows five fields distant. I see ormat upon the window frame—I am satisfied.” *Ah!" said one of the professors, “but your * enjoyment is yet denied to you-you can

not yet read even large type, and it is that which convinces us there is something yet to do.”—“That there is, sir,” answered the patient, “a great deal to do, to make me read any type, for I never could read at all.”

woman's Resolution.

O! cry’d Arsenia, long in wedlock blest,
Her head reclining on her husband’s breast,
“Should death divide thee from thy doating wife,
What comfort could be found in widow’d life
How the thought shakes me !—heav'n my Strephon
save, -
Or give the lost Arsenia half his grave.”
Jove heard the lovely mourner, and approv'd :
“And should not wives like this,” said he, “be
low'd 2
Take the soft sorrower at her word; and try
How deeply-rooted woman's vows can lie.”
Two said, and done—the tender Strephon
y'd :
Arsenia two long months—t’ out-live him try’d
But in the third—alas !—became a bride.

Vice wers.A

A Frenchman once asked what difference there was between M. de Rothschild, the loan broker, and Herod “ It is,” he was told, “ that Herod was the King of the Jews, and Rothschild the Jew of the Kings.”

BARRISTERS.

A gentleman when attending York Assizes, wrote to a friend as follows:—“I spend most of my time in the Nisi-prius Court. Besides that the trials are of a less painful nature than those at the crown end, the bar have certainly there the widest scope for the display of talent, I visited it for the first time on Tuesday, in company with my worthy friend Timothy. We set off early in order to secure a good place. The streets through which we passed were all alive, and the castle was evidently the centre of general attraction. The bearers of blue bags (for green is now discarded,) were Particularly nimble.

L

“There, with like haste, by several ways they run, Some to unitio—and some to be undone.”

My friend was in danger of laughing outright, when his eye caught a first glimpse of the galaxy of wigs, which “make so many foolish faces wise, and so many wise faces foolish.”—“ Odds bobbins,” said he, ‘‘ but they are a rum looking set.” And sure enough they are. I never look upon the in, without being reminded of the Ugly Club at Oxford, mentioned by the Spectator. Some frowned from under deep wigs. These Timothy took to be the Chamber Counsel, of whose unfathonable legal knowledge he had often heard. Others mounted fierce wigs, and pert wigs. These, he doubted not, were the formidable lawyers he had read of, who terrify poor witnesses so in crossexamination. A few sported sly wigs ; and a great many were encut: bered with wigs that bore no character at all. All these he set down as the briefless. . There were new moon phizzes and full moon phizzes ; sleepy eyes and sleepless eyes; staring eyes and squinting eyes; sharp noses and Enub noses; hook noses and long noses : twisted noses and twittering noses; in-short, features differing as much from each other as possible, but all agreeing in that to ue legal characteristic—Oddity :

“What formidable gloom their faces wear!

How wide their front'—how deep and black the rear !

How do their threatening heads each othe throng I’’

Their employments, also, as Timothy remarked, were some of them equally comical. Those who were not cohcerned in the cases before the Court, were killing their time, and perhaps smothering their chagrin, by reading a newspaper, or French novel; or sket hing caricatures; or cracking jokes; or perpetrating puns. One graceless wag was moulding paper pellets with his finger and thumb, and discharging them at his second neighhour, over the shoulder of the first. Another was scrutinizing a bevy of beauties, who occupied one of the most conspicuous portions of the Court,

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