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100 The LAUGhing

all melted, I'm afraid, and—beg pardon, young gentleman—permit me to put it between your legs.” Ye Gods 1 ye Gods! must I endure all this The reeking bundle was placed under my nose, und Mr. D. ascended the after part of the car. The shafts rose. and the belly-band tightened, and I was very near seaping from my situation, under the idea that Mr. D. and the horse intended playing at see-saw, or rather that the latter was to be hoisted over my head, and seated in the laps of the ladies. The event, however, not occurring, I resumed the application of the whip, and had the satisfaction of seeing my animal set up his back and grind away beyond my hopes. Oh, how I wish my limits would permit me to dilate upon the dust and the neat; the stoppages and the walkings up-hill ; the jokes of Mr. D. and the applauses of the ladies. For be it known that Mr. D. was something of a wit, and very much of a royster, and altogether a very desirable companion—when there was room for him. One thing I must not omit to state, which is, that no person whatsoever should judge of a horse by appearances, or mistrust his abilities before he has given them a fair trial. We overtook the car which preceded us, and, had it not been for the screams of the married ladies, and the clattering of the dishes, I verily end truly believe we could have beaten them—Mr. D. thought so too, for which I honour him. We now arrived within sight of our destination, and I found my spirits not a little exhilirated the prospect of being once more upon my legs. haps this happy state of mind may have been in c measure owing to the consciousness of having ved myself a worthy candidate for gymnastic ours ; but it was more likely to arise from a et smile of my dark-eyed maid, who beckoned to approach her car, and assured me that, since as evidently the most accomplished knight, she determined to place herself under my protecin for the rest of the expedition. With such a

ospect, I leaped to the ground as lightly as if sy joints had not once been shaken out of their

PHILOSOPHER.

sockets. The dust flew as if it had proceeded fro the jolt of a gigantic pepper-box ; but I heese'." not—I gave but one sneeze, and helped the \ao out. The captain took care of the hacks, (which, without dispute, must have been nearly related to the horses of the sun, or they must, many miles ago, have sunk beneath his beams); the cornet saw to the unloading of the baggage ; and I did my bo to play the agreeable to thirteen petticoats to Mr. D. was dusting himself amongst the bullrtcups; and another young gentleman, whom I *: not mentioned, was too much enthralled by individual enchantress to be worth the notice the rest. It would be an uncourtly breach confidence were I to relate all the gentle this that were said to me. Let it suffice, that I ho interest to procure, by general assent, a total numission from the labours of the day, and recort the fairest arm in the world, with strict injunctio to make myself as happy as I could.—“And now, said my dark-eyed maid, " are you still sorry to you came with us?”—“Say no more of it." replied, “I would come every day of my to I lived to the age of Methuselah.” Of course, eating aud drinking (plebeian vic were the first amuseuments .# occurred to earthly minds of such of our gentles as did happen to be favourites with the ladies—that very especial ones—I mean-in short, the ro knows, I mean a delicate allusion to toyself. stood upon the summit of a hill, reconnoiter the valley for an appropriate scene of catwa Huge cliffs on the opposite side extended

delicious shadows over the green bosom of

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!. o "an turn over at such a rate in my o * Quite convinced that he would have ""le best roller at Greenwich fair. The o with a noble cimulation, and cono ; . most magnanimously. Bets ran o o "r odds varied from two to one on the wn. """ so four on the beef. The wager, howt ... ." doomed to be decided ; for Mr. D. in smen] : his orms round about for some kind * ro ""p his career, unhappily seized upon over o, and they both plunged into the ...; which the captain pronounced to **t. At first there was some alarm for {r o of this surprising feat; but on o *ging, like a river god, from the bed ... "..old waving his hat, which had gone "; "her him, our breasts beat more freely, o" Youths commenced the removal of the .* cautioned in their motions by r o "oximple which had just been exhibited. "ode the best of his way to a farm-house— "o churning the water in his boots at the * of a hundred yards. ord our head-quarters in a small green "kh was nearly insulated by the brook, a "weeping birch and feathering ash trem"our heads, and beneath our feet smiled * cowslips that ever welcomed the hap": “eyes of happiness. I never before saw "like what he ought to be, or woman ** angel. While the gentlemen who did f to be favourites with the ladies, (meanold before, all but myself and the luck!"), were emancipating whole hecatombs "-door population, with certain quarrelbottles of champagne, which had been "şto break each other's heads almost from trement of the journey, I inade myself "'Preading cloaks and coats for our more **panions to recline upon. Never was **mily adorned. I sat upon the same

**ndle at the same instant—The cloak with the dark eyes, and could have spouted

extemporaneous poetry till “ Scott, Rogers, Moore, and all the better brothers Had hid their diminish'd heads, and look'd aghast.” I was getting from pensive to sad, and from sad to sorrow, with a rapidity which would very soon have affected the fountains of mine eyes, when I was aroused by a peal of light laughter, to which the sonorous “ho, ho, hol” of Mr. D. beat time like the drum in a band of music. He made his appearance in a smock-frock, worsted stockings, and hob-nails, and challenged to roll down again with any gentleman or lady of the party, and give them half-way. The gauntlet not being taken up, (though I am not sure but I saw a pair of little black eyes very much inclined to sparkle with defiance), he wheeled round, and made a dead point at a magnificent venison-pasty, which rose up from the midst of the subordinate building, like the tower of Babel. Turret after turret disappeared, the turkeys were mutilated, the pies evaporated, and the champagne banged like a battery upon the scene of slaughter. “Another slice,” quoth Mr. D. “with a little of the jelly, and some of the under-crust—thank’ee ladies, your health—ho, ho, ho! what a roll it was 1 I'll be bound I made the turf as smooth as a bowlinggreen, and flattened every stone in my course. Happy to take a glass with you, sir-I mean the gentleman in the blue cravat.—So—so-that beats arquebusade and opodel.doc too—cured all my bruises in a crack—I never drank any other embrocation than champagne.—Another slice, please, with a little more of the jelly, sicut antea, as the doctors say. Hark'ee,” continued he, thinging his arm round my neck, and whispering while he was yet inasticating two square inches of venison, which made some of the party believe he was devouring my ear, “how do you think I got this doublet and hose I knew my leathers would only be fit for spindles after this sousing, and so I made a swap with the farmer—ho, ho, hol I’ll sell you my smock at half-price.”

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It was now time to harness the hacks, and while this operation was in performance, I could plainiy distinguish the slayers of men discoursing in terms very derogatory to my skill as a whip. This I instantly set down for envy, for I had almost beaten them with the worst horse and the heaviest load (to say nothing of Mr. D. as supercargo), and I was quite certain, now that the pies were eaten, and the above gentleman exchanged for my beauty, I could win the race home with case. I started, as before, the last of the three, husbanding the powers of my crocodile with laudable jockey ship. The night became very dark, and we were only aware of our relative distances by the rattle of our wheels, and the merciless cracking of our whips. My opponents were evidently gaining ground upon me, and my passengers were beginning to grow clamorous under the idea that we should lag too far behind, and so be robbed and murdered. I believe I have hinted, in various places, that I am endowed with a certain portion of that greatest of all earthly goods called philosophy; and it was this which enabled me to calculate the chances in my favour, with a precision that rendered me deaf to the remonstrances of persons who were less gifted. In the first place, it was granted on all sides that we were going down hill ; and, in the next, it was not to be denied that cvery one of our quadrupeds, from the testimony of his knees, was wofully addicted to stuin bling. Now I had always considered it as an axiom, that a horse was more apt to stumble down hill than up hill, and that an over-driven one had no sort of conscience whate, er. Consequently it was incumbent on me to use all proper circumspection, seeing that I had six ladies, and all the dishes to answer for, besides a seventh person, whom etiquette forbids me to mention. The caution which l had adopted was equally necessary for my competitors; and since they were cursed with too much courage to follow it, the chances were about fifty to one, that one of them would measure his length on the ground. The other must of course pull up to assist his comrade, and in this dilemma I had settled it with my

high mettled skeleton, that we should politely wish them good-night. I believe it was about mid-way that my calculatious were verified. I first heard a crash, then a general scream, then the word of command to halt, and afterwards the jolly “ho, ho, hos” of Mr. D. which gave use the satisfactory intelligence that my encuies had coto a downfall, and that none of the party Lal reperienced bodily injury. Now was the titae f * my triumph ; but I must say I bore it like a bers. I was beginning an admonitory harangue with." told you how it would be,” when the sight of odistress actually, deprived me of the power, speech. The noble steed still lay pantos of the ground, while the captain cut the harupieces for his liberation ;-the two shafts -snapped off like sticks of baricy-sugar, a-d whole machinery appeared to have receiv. shock little short of a paralysis. " How sha; get home 2'' cried the distressed frtuals, “ cannot sleep under the hedge.”—“Bes p_r, ladies,” replied Mr. D., “it is ouc of the -, confortable ditches I was ever pitched into went right in upon iny head, and receive. manner of damage, creept a tug of the to--which hung in a brainble, and a few thorns took advantage of the absence of my bees. A.

My heart melted within une, aud I agreed the opposition carrier, that if he would cou..." vanquished champion and the ponderosity or D., I would endeavour to persuade my The accommodate the five forlorn daunscis. T posal was thankfully agreed to. The frage. the wreck were removed to the rosa T. miserable hack turned into the first fi chd ts. o sented itself, and I finished the remainder o journey with eleven ladies, dent.

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Dialogue J. Jiawrew zrozarx, Xaxy toove, motorw ow IIqrynor. on Echo spenk the tongue of every country .... * Firsfrom si fort? poscam erotica 2............... a siri sopra it futuro questionero? .................. ------ -puis-je te parter sur des choses passees?............... for mihi quarso rirum, ritiis ent tot bona parta : .................... hou, once. Sir Sidney drove with shame from Acre................... unlock ostr India. France would make of Turkey—................ ould the then seize Madras, Bombay, Bengal ...... ----------ad did ber chief fly Egypt, when most needed ? .................... houn is he like, who thrives but by escaping 2 ...................... *: rous anr histoires, qu’en dit Denon 2 ... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . hat are the arms with which he now fights Britons : ................ wins in of fus minis fuit aliquis? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -------------*d nebi, iterat fanto hic jactator hiatu ? . . . . . . . -------------------'il riemme aussitot qu'il levent, ce grand homme! .................... tfit of ille moras. pelagusque horrere putatur ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . a"d think him then mud, if his forces he march here 2 .............. ere does he wish those forees wafted over?........................ inted—what would they be, ere led to London 2 . . George then thrash by land the Corsican 2 ...................... what, if he should chance to meet our navy .................... #7 of exo~ x 7s "a, Saxazz' row ; ; . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . **, reu Xerres, nostris sugere actus ab oris. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . hence he swears, he’ll ne'er again turn flyer. . . . . . . . . . . . . obert shall England quell his high pretences . . . . . . . . . . . . **t ce qu’elle montrera, pour calmer cet inquiet 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *co duetus parnas dabis, improbe, Gallis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . Echo.

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#ti tedrá raorto, “Ben gli sta” gridera. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

* Dialogue II.
—Quae nec reticere loquenti,

- Nec prior ipsa loqui potuit.

* I rall 1 sweet Maid, come echo me..................... Echo.
or, of what rousists the heart of Gaul : ........................
caprices in her ancient shape; . . . . . . . . . - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
~-ni triste, for blood and riot eag, r.., -
of what God her sons are now the voter

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And whose before, so wolvish grown and ravenous: ............ Echo.
Wretches, as changeful as the changing ocean : :
Au roi, qui les aimoit, its ont frappé le cou–
Ma sotto i orano sempre allegri. . . . . .
To: 21 rozny avrot, overyeva' ‘trate Siszzolay; .... .....................
4'iquid mali molitur in nos consil: ; . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ................
Cumque illo miles Batarus conjurat amicé. ............................
Where would his Brest fleet in our empire land ....................
Axx03, 3’ 3 y r**,x' firéaxis, 2ny xs:.
Quisnam illum a Scotis monet eritus, auspice Moirá 2 ...
Spem forsan nullam, Moira ibi jam duce, habet:
Pro Ayyaiko, 3 mkow 2 w" woo too. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
How best shall we 'scape this invasion's alarm 2 ......................
Then, Englishmen, rush to the field, 'tis your duty : .............
Be no longer the dupes of an Amienstruce.

(HV or, a $ixia" to 3’ ex of two: ovás' auto: ; . . . . . . . . . . ................
Furem ego contundam, quite rapere audet, agelle. ....................
Angliaque erternos facile opprimet insa tatrones.’......................
And dost thou wish the throne restored by Moreau : ..................
Then from his height falls dread Napoleon ;
(Scilicet hunc Anglus vocat, hunc Hebraeus Abaddon 1 ..................
And then the world, now sacred, will laugh at him: . ................

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It reste done a souhaiter, que la France lui désobeit.

THE CHESTER SH EWMAN AND MUNGO.

A puppet shewnan, having engaged a black (native of Africa) who was a performer on the instrument called the jumba, made from an Indian nut-shell. also danced to his own unusic, and sung (in tolerable English) his own songs, his simplicity and pleasantry drew his employer great audiences, and poor Mungo believed his master was possessed of some supernatural agency, by nightly beholding with astonishment his wonderful feats of deception and legerdemain. On the 5th of November, 1771, the showman, or doctor, was exhibiting in a large lodge-room at Chester. After various feats that tended to elevate and surprise, by cutting off locks, heads, swallowing knives and forks, eating fire, disgorging ribbons and needles, tricks of cups and balls, cards, &c. to the astonishment of Blackey, and admiration of the company, a most shocking occurrence happened. In a cellar under the lodge room, which was

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an out-building, several barrels of genewere deposited for exportation to Irroyo boys in the street, throwing nbout their w . . serpents, squibs, &c. one or more of thern the cellar, and unfortunately communicate -powder, some of which had been spitt thro-, crevices of the barrels, and occasioned a explosion, in the critical scene where * * * , is in the act of running away with Puerto wife Joan.” . The majority of the specta-... killed, including the shewnan ; several. lacerated and wounded, were driven idistance. Poor Mungo was found in bouring field, scorched and stunned by *sion, but not dangerourly hurt. On bi- ortaking it sor granted the affecting seeidhave happened as part of the performa. claimed, “Oh dam my nassas he -end ~ a hurry My master dam clever fetlow :like districk me give him warning -

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