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From twelve to one. Walked in the fields. JOURNAL OF A CITIZEN.
Wind to the south. MONDAY, Eight o'clock. I put ou my clothes, From one to two. Sinoked a pipe and a half. and walked into the parlour.
Tro. Dined as usual, Stomach good Nine o'clock ditlo. " Tied ny knee-strings, and Three. Nap broke by the falling of a poutre washed my hands.
dish. Mem, Cook-maid in love and grown careHours ten, eleven, and twelve. Smoked three less. pipes of Virginia. Read the Supplement and From four to sir. At the coffee-bouse. Advice Daily Courant. Things go on ill in the north. from Smyrna, that the Grand Vizier was firsi el Mr. Nisby's opinion thereupoo.
all strangled, and afterwards beheaded. One o'clock in the afternoon. Chid Ralph for Sir o'clock in the evening. Was balf an hour is mislaying my tobacco-box.
the club before any body else came. Mr. Nizby Troo o'clock. Sat down to dinner. Mem.of opinion that the Grand Vizier was not stranglet Too many plums, and no suet.
the sixth instant. From three to four. Took my afternvon's Ten at night. Went to bed. Slept without Dap.
waking till nipe next morcing. From four to six. Walked into the fields. Taursday, Nine o'clock. Staid within till two Wind, S.S.E.
o'clock for Sir Timothy; who did not bring me From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's my annuity according to his promise. opinion about peace.
Two in the afternoon. Sat down to dioder. Ten o'clock. Went to bed, slept sound. Loss of appetite. Small-beer sour. Beef over
TUESDAY, being holiday, Eight o'clock. Rose corned. as usual.
Three. Could not take my pap. Nine o'clock. Washed hands and face, shaved, Four and five. Gave Ralph a box on the ex. put on my double-soled shoes,
Turned off my cook-maid. Sent a messenger i Ten, eleven, twelve. Took a walk to Islington. Sir Timothy. Mem. I did not go to the club toOne. Took a pot of Mother Cob's mild. night. Went to bed at vine o'clock.
Between two and three. Returned, diped on a FRIDAY. Passed the morning in meditation knuckle of veal and bacon, Mem. Sprouts upon Sir Timothy, who was with me a quarter wanting.
before twelve. Three. Nap as usual.
Twelve o'clock. Bought a new lead to my caps, From four to six. Coffee-house. Read the and a tongue to my buckle. Drauk a glass of news. A dish of twist. Grand Vizier strangled. purl to recover appetite.
From six to ten. At the club. Mr. Nisby's Two and three. Dioed, and slept well. account of the Great Turk,
From four to six. Went to the cutee-house, Ten. Dream of the Grand Vizier. Broken Mel Mr. Nisby there. Smoked several pipes, sleep.
Mr. Nisby of opinion that laced coffee is bad for WEDNESDAY, Eight o'clock. Tongue of my the head. shoe-buckle broke. Hands, but not face.
Six o'clock. At the club as steward. Sat latr. Nine. Paid off the butcher's bill. Mem. To Twelve o'clock. Went to bed, dream'd (hai ! be allowed for the last leg of mutton.
drank small-beer with the Grand Vizier, Ten, eleven. At the coffee-house. More work SATURDAY Waked at eleven, walked in the din north. Stranger in a black wig asked me fields, wind N. E. ocks went.
Twelve. Caught in a shower.
One in the afternoon. Returned home, and dried
DISSECTION OF A BEAU'S HEAD. myself.
Txo. Mr. Nisby dioed with me. First course, I was invited, me thought, to the dissection of a marrow-bones; second, ox-cheek, with a bottle beau's head, and of a coquette's heart, which were of Brooks and Hellier.
both of theip laid on a table before us. An ima. Three o'clock. Overslept myself.
ginary operator opened the first with a great deal Sis, Went to the club. Like to have fallen of nicety, which, upoo a cursory and superficial into a gutter. Grand Vizier certainly dead. view, appeared like the head of another man;
but upon applying our glasses !o it, we made a REQUISITES FOR A MINISTER.
very odd discovery, namely, that what we looked A wag, ia 1753, gave the following genuine re- upon as brains were not such in reality, but a ceipt, as the grand catholicon:
heap of strange inaterials wound up in that shape To form a minister, th' ingredients
and texture, and packed together with wonderful Are, a head fruitful of expedients,
art in the several cavities of the skull. For, as Each suited to the present minute,
Homer tells us, that the blood of the gods is not (No barm if nothing else be in it!)
real blood, but only something like it; so we The mind, tho' much perplex'd and harass'd, fourd that the brain of a beau is not a real brain, The count'dance must be unembarrassid ; but only something like it. High promises for all occasions ;
The pineal gland, which many of our modern A set of treasons, plots, invasions ;
philosopbers suppose to be the seat of the soul, Bullies to ward off each disaster;
smelt very strong of essence and orange-flower Much impudence to brave his inaster;
water, and was encompassed with a kind of horny The talents of a treaty maker ;
substance, cut into a thousand little faces or mir. The sole disposal of th' exchequer;
rors which were imperceptible to the naked eye: of right or wrong no real feeling;
insomuch, that the soul, if there had been any Yet in the names of both much dealing:
here, must have been always taken up in contemIn short, this man must be a mixture
plating her own beauties. Of broker, sycophant, and trickster.
We observed a large antrum or cavity in the
sinciput, that was filled with ribbands, lace, and STEALING A MARCH.
embroidery, wrought together in a most curious Lord Waldegrave, when on his death-bed, asked piece of network, the parts of which were likehis physicians what day of the week it was ; they wise imperceptible to the naked eye. Another of Inld him Thursday. " Sure," said he, “it is Fri- these antruins or cavities was stuffed with invisible day."—“ No, my lord, indeed it is Thursday."- billet-doux, love-letlers, pricked-dances, and ** Well," said be, " see what a rogue this distem- other trumpery of the same nature. In another per makes one ; I want to steal nothing but a we found a kind of powder, which set the whole day."
company a-sneezing, and by the scent discovered
itself to be right Spanish. The several other cells A REASONABLE ANSWER.
were stored with commodities of the same kind, A poor man in Bedlam having been ill used by of which it would be tedious to give the reader an his apprentice, because he would not tell him why exact inventory. he was confined there, at last said, “ Because There wns a large cavity on each side of the God has deprived me of a blessing you never en- head, which I must not omit. That on the right joyed."
side was filled with fictions, datteries, and (alse,
boods, vons, promises, and protestations; that on I have only mentioned in tais dissection sora the left with oaths and imprecationis, There new discoveries as we are able to make, and issued out a dnet from each of these cells, which bare not taken any notice of those paris #hvis ran into the root of the tongue, where both joined are to be met with in common heads. As for the together, and passed forward in one common duct shull, the face, and indeed the whole outcard to the tip of it. We discovered several little shape and figure of the head, we could not ds. roads or canals running from the ear into the cover any difference from what we observe a brain, and took particular care to trace them out the heads of other men. We were informed that through their several passages. One of them ex. the person to whom this head belonged, had tended itse!f to a bundle of sonnets and little passed for a man above five and thiriy jean; musical instruments. Others ended in several during which time he eat and drank like oko bladders, which were filled either with wind or people, dressed well, talked loud, laughed free froth. But the large canal entered into a great quent!y, and, on particular occasions, had acquita cavity of the skull, from whence there went an- led himself tolerably at a ball or as asseabiy: other canal into the tongue. This great cavity to which one of the company added, that a cerwas filled with a kind of spongy substance, wbichtain knot of ladies look him for a wit. He was the French anatomists call Galimatias, and the cut off in the tower of his age by the blow of a English Nonsense.
paring shovel, having been surprised by an emra The skins of the forehead were extremely tough nent citizen, as he was tendering some civilities and thick, and, what very much surprised is, had to his wife. not in them any single blood-vessel that we were able to discover, eitiier with or without our glasses ;
THE ILLUSTRIOUS ARCHITECT. from wheuce we concladed, that the party when Old Bess, Countess of Hardwicke, built Chris. alive must have been entirely deprived of the worth House; and ker family pretended that it faculty of blushing.
had been prophesied to her that she would never The os cribriforme was exceedingly stuffed, and die as long as she was building, and that at la in some places damaged with souff. We could she died in a hard frost, when the labourer couli pot but take potice in particular of that small not work. She was married four times. Horare mascle which is not often discovered in dissections, Walpole, on liis visit to Chatsworth, is said to and draws the pose opwards, when it expresses have written the following epitaph for her: the contemp! which the owner of it has, upon Four times the nuptial bed she wana'd, seeing any illing he does not like, or bearing any And every time su wel! performid, thing he does not understand I need not tell iny That when death spoild her husband's billing, l-arned reader, this is that muscle which perforins He left the widow every stilling. the motion so often mentioned by the Latin poets, Fond was the dame, but not dejected; when eney talk of a man's cocking bis nose, or Fire stately inausious she erecieni playing the rhinoceros.
Witb more than ros al pomp to vary We did cot find any thing very remarkable in The prison of her captive liry. the eye, save orly that the musculiumatorii, or, When Hardri he's towers still how their besi, as we may transtate it into English, the ogling mus. Nor mass be more in Warspsoid: cles, were very much won and decayet with use; When Botsover's fair rame all tend, whereas, on the contrary, the elevator, or the Like Olentes, to its mouldering en muscle which terns the eye trwards heaven, did When (Aftsscorth tastes ne tandish bounties, not appear to have been used at all.
Litfaine forget this costly Coupless.
A fine young lady to the world is come, Art of some small fortune bad a wife,
Squalling away just as I left the room! $155 doute, to be the comfort of his life,
Sir, this is better than a good estate!” ind pretty well they bore the joke tngether ;
“ Humph,” quoth the man, and scratch'd his pate: Sit lille jarring lived the pair one year, Now grave!y looking up—now !ooking down; sometimes the matrimonial sky was clear, Not with a sinile, but somewhat like a irown,
Attines 'twas dark and dull and hazy weather." God God," says he, “ why was I not a cock, Now came the time when mistress, in the straw,
Who never feels of burd'ning brats the shock; Did for the world's support her screams pre- Who, Turk like, struts 'mid his madams, picking,
Whilit to the hen belongs the care pare; And Slop appear'd with fair obstetric paw,
To carry thein to eat, or take the air, To introduce his pupil to our air;
Or bed beneath her wing the chicken: Whilst in a neighbouring room the husband sat, Just as this sweet soliloquy was ended, Masing on this thing now, and now on that. He found affairs mot greatly mended Now sighing at the sorrows of his wife,
For io bounc d Bet, her rump with raptore jig. Praying to Heaven that he could take the pain,
ging; Bai secollecting that such prayers were vain,
" Another daughter, Sir-a charming child."
66 Another!” cried the man, with wouder wilal; He made vo more an offer of his life.
“ Zounds! Betty, ask your mistress, if she's pig. Alone as thus be mused in solemn study,
ging." Hezs soinetimes clear and sometimes muddy,
JUDGE JEFFERY'S SPEECH TO THE MAYOR AND fo Betty rush'd with comfortable news : * Sir, Sir, I wish ye joy, I wish ye joy !
ALDERMEN OF BRISTOL. Madain is brouglit to bed of a fine boy,
I have brought a brush in ny pockei to rub off 4. üne as ever stood in shoes!”
your dirt; I tell you, I have brought a stout
besom, with which i will sweep every man's ** I'm glad on't, Betty," cried the master,
door, both within and without, for in good truth I pray thrre may be no disaster!
you want rubbing; the dirt of your disca is in All's with your mistress well, I hope?"
stb she, “ All's well, as henrı can well desire, your nostrils. Where am I? in Bristol, a city in wa Madam and the time young squire,
which it seems you claim the privilege of hang
ing, drawing, and quartering; a privilege you so likewise says old Doctor slop."
ought to enjoy at least once a munih.
bave it Or Betty hurried, fast as she could scour, calendar of your city in my bands, and hope faut and a: bard as any hors
before I have done to hang one half of you at Tlv trulleth fourteen miles an hour;
least. preity tolerable course.
SYMPATHETIC ANALOGIE. besoru dappy Betty came again,
Two cantabs were one day descending a sairL'uwing with all her miglit aod main;
case, wben the foremost chanced to stumble against Just like a grampus or a whale,
a pail that had accidentally been left at the buiion, In tounds to that would Calais reach from Dover; upon which his companion qunintly observed, thai
Sir! more bappy tidings; 'tis tot over- be bad kicked the bucket, " Oh, no!" said he, And Madam's brisker than a nightingale. "I only turned pale."
LONDON IN SUMMER.
of Moorfields grow romantic to the roar of mon
light kettle-drums on the pier at Margate ; or en. This large city is now a huge oven, and the few bryo tailors, arm in arm with the rising hopes of who still walk the streets look baked. The streets haberdashery, discuss pantaloons and the battle si are like the highways of the desert for silence and Waterloo on the Steyne? Who is the worse Feet sand,--the stage-coaches (for no others are abroad) all this? If the life of man is to be spent in eter move in whirlwinds of dust,-and it is only when nal stitching, let them be grasped by the hand of the sun goes down from the brazen sky, that you law, the unworthy minister of Heaven in this the find London is still peopled,
stance, and summarily consigned to their counter The heat has grown intense, and it has certainly But if all statules, from Deuteronomy to Blertdeadened the spirit of public amusements : all the one, are silent on the subject, let them be bapp: gatherings of the wealthy into ball-rooms, and the in their own way, flatter the inn-keepers, pick up other refuges of industrious idleness, are melting pebbles on the sea-shore, spend their bebdomadi, down-the theatres are stricken with loneliness— gains in railing for razor-paste, powder-per and all the superfuity of the London populace, and pill-boxes; --and when the municipal treasury great and little, is already flowing out upon the sounds hollow, when the races are over, and every sea-shore, from Thanet to Torbay. This our “ lau-soul is saturated with sea-smells and Olympic d2. datores temporis acti'' revile, as among the signs let them return, and through the winter " babier of a degenerate time. But what is the use of fry- of green fields.” There is no jest in all the ing and boiling the human materials in cities, when what would become of London, cramped with it it can live and be happy even on the withered downs million of beavy feeders, and those reinforced by and slimy shores of Margatc. Our forefathers, irruptions froin all the red, green, blae, broer, with all their wisdom, were fools. Those opulent and black population of the earth, with all ther: persons lingered through the year in their count- oleaginous, murky, yellow.feverish, cho'kra-tresing-houses, saw the summer only through the Sun. bus bloods, inflamed by made wine, drugged pan. day's dust at Islington, fed on the steams of man- ter, and the absorption of three hundred thous kind, concocted in a thousand wealthy and detest-annual bullocks, and three millions of sheer able lades, till those venerable stews and fricassees vaulted in under an impenetrable sky o smi: of men were gathered to the grave. “ Vive la pos- and ashes, from a hundred thousand inapefaciones terité.” There is more enjoyment now scattered of all horrible and death-dealing steams, stenchover the life of a London shop-keeper, than, fifty and evaporations, without those escapes and res years ago, fell to the lot of his prince. I look upon for the multitude : this out-pouring of the multitude, this rush of the metropolitan colluvies ;—this voctuous deluge roll
MODERN SAMPSON. ing through the flood-gates Aldermanbury, Buck. Jersbury, and all the other soug and airless depo
Jack, eating rotten cheese, did say, sitories and hybernacles of life in the city of cities;
“ Like Sampson, I my thousands slay: this scrambling, galloping, walking, tilburying,
“ I vow," quoth Roger, " so you do, and steaming down to the sea-side, as among the
And with the self-same weapon (uo.' first proofs, if not the very first, of the prosperity, ON AN EXCELLENT MUSICIAN PLATING TO good-humour, and good government of the nation. What if ancient men inflate their gout with oysters
AWKWARD DANCERS. fresh from the bed, and city clerks make themselves How ill the motion with the music suits. ridiculous in quadrilles; what if the fashionables Thus fiddled Orpheus, nud thus danc'd be brate'