to carry their heads on one side when they came into the presence. One who thought to outshine the whole court, carried his head so over-complaisantly, that this martial prince gave him so great a box on the ear, as set all the heads of the Court upright. This humour takes place in our minds as well as bodies. I know at this time a young gentleman, who talks atheistically all day in coffeehouses, and in his degrees of understanding sets up for a freethinker; though it can be proved upon him, he says his prayers every morning and evening. Of the like turn are all your marriage-haters, who rail at the noose, at the words, for ever and ave," and at the same time are secretly Fining for some young thing or other that makes their hearts ache by her refusal. The next to these, are such as pretend to govern their wives, and boast how ill they use them; when, at the same time, go to their houses, and you shall see. them step as if they feared making a noise, and are as fond as an alderman. I do not know, but sometimes these pretences may arise from a desire to conceal a contrary defect than they set up for. I remember, when I was a young fellow, we had a companion of a very fearful complexion, who, when we sat in to drink, would desire us to take his sword from him when he grew fuddled, for it was his misfortune to be quarrelsome. man's flame. Whoe'er thou art that read'st these moral rhymes, COPY OF A LETTER OF APPLICATION FROM A HER DECEASED HUSBAND. THE BISHOP AND THE PEASANT, A German clown, at work in his field, seein his bishop pass by, attended by a train becomin a peer, he could not forbear laughing, and that loud, that the reverend gentleman asked the re son of it. The clown answered;"I laugh wh I think of St. Peter and St. Paul, and see you such an equipage."-" How is that?" said the 1 shop. Do you ask how?" said the fello As the desire of fame in men of true wit and They were ill-advised to walk alone du f gallantry shews itself in proper instances, the throughout the world, when they were the he same desire in men who have the ambition with of the Christian church, and lieutenants of Je out proper faculties, runs wild, and discovers Christ, the king of kings; and thou, who art o itself in a thousand extravagances, by which they our bishop, go so well mounted, as to have sur would signalize themselves from others, and gain a train of Hectors, that thou resemblest more ap zet of admirers When I was a middle-aged man, of the realm, than a pastor of the church.” there were many societies of ambitious young men this his reverence replied, “But, my friend, i in England, who, in their pursuits after fame, dost not consider that I am both a count a were every night employed in roasting porters, baron, as well as thy bishop." The rustic la smoking cobbiers, knocking down watchmen, more than before; and the bishop asking hà.. overturning constables, breaking windows, reason of it, he answered, “Sir, when the e blackening sign-po-ts, and the like immortal en-aud the baron, which you say you are, shall texprizes. hell, where will the bishop bel" TYTHE IN KIND, OR THE SOW'S REVENGE. Of pigs the worth and prime he knew, luks 'tis lean and sickly too. said, he eye'd it o'er and o'er ; "Such pig for me; why, man alive, Hodge heard, and, tho' by nature warm, The parson roar'd, surpris'd to find A foe so desperate close behind; On Hodge, on Madge, he calls for aid, But both were deaf to all he said. The scene a numerous circlé draws, Who hail the sow with loud applause; Pleas'd they beheld his rev'rence writhe, And swore 'twas fairly tythe for tythe. "Tythe!" cried the parson, " Tythe, d'ye say. See here one half is rent away!" The case, 'tis true, was most forlorn; His gown, bis wig, his breech was torn ; And, what the mildest priest might ruffle, The pig was lost amidst the scuшe. Give, give me which you please," he cried Nay, pick and choose," still Hodge replied. "Choose! honest friend; alas! but how? Heaven shield me from your murdering sow. When tythes invite, in spite of foes, I dare take Satan by the nose! Like Theseus, o'er the Styx I'd venture; dare!" Yet, whilst there's hope the prize to win, Hodge, who with laughter held his sides, The tytheless parson sneak'd away. COURT AND CITY FOOLS. The last of the licenced fools belonging to the court was Killigrew, jester to Charles the Second. The lord-mayor of London had his fool too! hence the expression the lord-mayor's fool, who likes every thing that is good.' At the beginning of the last century, one of these city drolls jumped into a custard,' for the entertainment of the citizens ! A WIFE'S SORROW. At the marriage of Louis the Sixteenth with Antoinette, in 1770, a dreadful accident occurred, by which a thousand people lost their lives. Among them was one Legros, a lady's hairdresser, of much fame. The wife of Legros went to the field of the slain about three o'clock in the morning, when some one began telling her the fate of her husband in as tender a manner as pos sible. "Tis very well," said she, but I mus feel in his pockets for the keys of the house, o else I cannot get in ;" and, so saying, this dis consolate widow went quietly home to her bed. CLERICAL LEARNING, In 1443, Dr. Thomas Gascoigne was chancell of Oxford. He seems to have deeply felt t then conducted; for he thus expresses himself: profligacy with which ecclesiastical affairs wo "I knew a certain illiterate ideot, the son of mad knight; who, for being the companion, rather the fool, of the sons of a great family the blood-royal, was made arch-deacon of Oxf before he was eighteen years old, and got s after two rich rectories and twelve prebends ! asked him, one day, what he thought of learni I despise it;' said he. 'I have better livi than you great doctors, and believe as muc any of you,'--' What do you believe?" said 'I believe,' said he,' that there are three in one person. I believe all that God believe REASON WHY WOMEN HAVE NO BEARD Nature, regardful of the babbling race, Planted no beard upon a woman's face; Not Packwood's razors, though the very Could shave a chip that never is at rest. THE HOLY SHEPHERD. THE SILENT HUSBAND A fo The late M. de Glermont Tonnere, the proud Madame Geoffrin had a husband, who was perbishop of Noyon, when preaching in his cathe-mitted to sit down at his own table to dinner, at dral, was once heard thus to commence his ser- the end of the table, upon condition that he never mon: Listen, thou christian mob, (canaille,) to the attempted to join in the conversation. word of the Lord. At another time, when disturbed reigner, who was assiduous in his visits to Maby the whispers of the inattentive, while he was dame Geoffrin, one day, not seeing him as usual celebrating mass, he turned towards the assembly, at table, enquired after him:-" What have you crying out, Really, gentlemen, judging by the noise done with the poor man whom I always used to with which you fill the church, one would conclude see here, and who never spoke a word ?”—“Oh, that it was a lackey, and not a prelate of rank, who that was my husband; he is dead!" efficiated. It was this bishop, who, when seized with a dangerous illness, sent for his confessor, and made known to him his fears of hell. This courtly priest replied, "You are very good, my lord, thus gratuitously to terrify yourself; but God will think of it twice before he damns a person of your high birth." THE OLD COQUETTE.—IMITATED FROM A truce with your infamous labours, old Bet; THE PRIESTLY JONAH, It blew a hard storm, and, in utmost confusion, Transferr'd, as they thought, from themselves to To lighten the ship, and conclude their devotion, OTAHEITAN CONVERSION. Among the savages of the South-Sea Islands, Jorgensen, in his Account of the State of Christianity in Otaheite, speaks of Otoo, king of Uliteeah, who came on board, and, putting on a most sanctified face, said, "Master Christ very good, very fine fellow, me love him like my own brother, give me one glass of brandy." His mabe-jesty's desires, however, increased glass after all spreading a cloud o'er their gay constel- 'Tis Chloe's to sport in the pale of fiftee: ; tween. Your daughter more decently rattles away, young; Not wine, purple wine, that enlivens the gay, glass, till at length he became noisy, and swore he would recant all he had said, if they did not give him more brandy. He was refused; and then, breaking out into the most horrid impreca tions, jumped overboard, swearing and swimming to the shore. ON A CLUB OF SOTS. The jolly members of a toping club, For nothing else, but only to hold drink. ADVANTAGES OF BEING IN DEBT, Sam Foote clearly demonstrated the advantages of not paying our debts. This, says he, however, presupposes a person to be a man of fortune, otherwise he would not gain credit. It is the art of living without money. It saves the trouble and expense of keeping accounts; and it also makes other people work, in order to give ourselves repose. It prevents the cares and embarrassments of riches. It checks avarice, and encourages generosity; as people are most commonly more liberal of others' goods than of their own; while it possesses that genuine spark of primitive Christianity which would inculcate a constant communion of all property. In short, it draws on us the inquiries and attentions of the world while we live, and makes us sincerely regretted when we die. DESCRIPTION OF HOLLAND. A country that draws fifty feet of water, Whole towns are cast away in storms, and wreck'd; That feed, like cannibals, on other fishes, HENRY THE FIFTH. Lloyd very neatly says of Henry the Fifth, that he had something of Cæsar in him, which Alexander the Great had not-that he would not be drunk; and something of Alexander the Great that Cæsar had not--that he would not be flattered! If this we see be bread, how can it last, If bread, such saving virtue could it give? DIGNITY OF AN ELECTOR. The title of elector is useful beyond its foreig meaning, An Englishman travelling throug Germany, having presented himself at the gate a German city, was desired, in the usual mance to describe himself. "I am," said he, 4. an ele tor of Middlesex." The Germans, who hold t diguity of elector as next in rank to that of kin and knew little or nothing of the English ti and rank, immediately opened their gates, a the guard turned out, and did him military nours! A SWINDLING MUSICIAN. His time was short, his touch was neat, His movements have not linger'd. Yet while we blame his basty flight, |