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57 coach overturned, and, asking what the matter was, he was told that three or four members of parliament were overturned in that coach. * Oh,” says he, “there let them be, my father always advised me not to meddle with state asfairs.”
Road to HEAVEN.
A charitable divine, for the benefit of the country where he resided, commenced a large causeway, and as he was one day overlooking the work, a certain nobleman passed by, “Weil, doctor,” said he, “notwithstanding your pains and charity, I don’t take this to be the highway to heaven.”—“Very true, my lord,” replied the doctor, “for if it had, I should have wondered to meet your lordship here.”
neighbour,” says he, “never trouble your head, you may do what you will with your part of the barn, but I will sct mine on fire.”
The boar's head TAver N.
As I honour all established usages of my brethren of the quill, I thought it but proper to contribute my mite of homage to the memory of Shakspeare, our illustrious bard. I was for some time, however, sorely puzzled in what way Ishould discharge this duty. I found myself anticipated in every attempt at a new reading. Every doubtful line had been explained a dozen different ways, and perplexed beyond the reach of elucidation; and, as to fine passages, they had been amply praised by previous admirers ; nay, so completely had the bard of late been overlarded with panegyric by a great German critic, that it was difficult now to find even a fault that had not been argued into a beauty. *
In this perplexity, I was one morning turning over his pages, when I casually opened upon the comic scenes of Henry IV., and was, in a moment, completely lost in the madcap revelry of the Boar's Head Tavern. So vividly and naturally are these scenes of humour depicted, and with such force and consistency are the characters sustained, that they become mingled up in the mind with the facts and personages of real life. To few readers does it occur, that these are all ideal creations of a poet's brain, and that, in sober truth, no such knot of merry roysters ever enlivened the dull neighbourhood of Eastcheap.
For my part, I love to give myself up to the illusions of poetry. A hero of fiction, that never existed, is just as valuable to me as a hero of history that existed a thousand years since; and, if I may be excused such an insensibility to the coinmon ties of human nature, I would not give up fat Jack for half the great men of ancient chronicle. What have the heroes of yore done for me, or men like me ! They have conquered countries, of which I do not enjoy an acre ; or they have gained laurels of which I do not inherit a leaf;
or they have furnished examples of hair-brain prowess, which I have neither the opportunily w the inclinatiou to follow. But old Jack Falst kind Jack Falstaff sweet Jack Falstaff has larged the boundaries of human enjoyment has added vast regions of wit and good humo in which the poorest man may revel; and has queated a never-failing inheritance of jolly lau ter, to make mankind merrier to the latest po rity. A thought suddenly struck me : “I will m a pilgrimage to Eastchenp,” said I, closing book, “and see if the old Boar's Head Tavern exists. Who knows but I may light upon so legendary traces of Dame Quickly and her gue at any rate, there will be a kindred pleasur. treading the halls once vocal with their mirth that the toper enjoys in smelling the empty once filled with generous wine.” The resolution was no sooner formed than in execution. I forbear to treat of the various ventures and wonders I encountered in my trav of the haunted regions of Cock-lane; of the fi glories of Little Britain and the parts adjac what perils I ran at Cateaton-street and Old ry; of the renowned Guildhall and its two stu giants, the pride and wonder of the city, an terror of all unlucky urchins; and how 1 v. London Stone, and struck my staff upon it, in tation of that arch-rebel, Jack Cade. Let it st to say, that I at length arrived in merry Easte) that ancient region of wit and wassail, wher very names of the streets relished of good c as Pudding-lane bears testimony even at the sent day. For Eastcheap, says old stow, " always famous for its convivinl doings. The re cried hot ribbes of beef rosted, pies well tas and other victuels; there was clattering of 1,. pots, harpe, pipe, and saw trie." Alas! how is the scene changed since the roaring days ..., t staff and old Stow ! the madcap royster has place to the plodding tradesman ; the citat t of pots, and the sound of “harpennd saw tr;,
the din of carts and the accursed dinging .
.*n the Prince of Orange came over at the * of the Revolution, five of the seven bishops **ere tent to the Tower declared for his high*, and the two others would not come into o ; upon which Mr. Dryden said, “That ** golden candlesticks were sent to be as*in the Tower, and five of them proved to be ** metal.” * THE MARRIAGE of MISS LITTLE, * Lady remarkably short in stature, * happy tow—I think him so : -- Fo the poet's song— o Mao wants but hule here brlow, * wants that little long.”
King Charles II. being in company with Lord Rochester and others of the nobility, Killigrew, the jester, came in. “Now,” said the king, “we chall hear of our faults.”—“No, faith,” said Killigrew, “I don't care to trouble my head with that which all the town talks of.”
JeffeRies AND THE WITNESS.
When Lord Jefferies, before he was a judge, was one day pleading at the bar, he called out to a witness against his client, “Hark! you fellow in the leathern doublet, what have you for swearing " To which the witness replied, “Faith, sir, if you have no more for lying, than I have for swearing, you might e'en wear a leathern doublet too.”
Judge Jefferies one day told an old fellow with a long beard, that he supposed he had a conscience as long as his beard. “Does your lordship,” replied the old man,“measure consciences by beards? If so, your lordship has none at all.”
TO THE AUTHOR OF AN EPITAPH ON DR. MEAp.
Mead's not dead then, you say, only sleeping a little; Why, egad sir, you've hit it off there to a tittle ; Yet, friend, his awaking I very much doubt, Pluto knows who he's got, and will ne'er let him out. CJ.ERICAL WisDOM, A nobleman one day asked a bishop, why he conferred orders on so many blackheads “Oh, my lord,” said he, “it is better the ground should be ploughed by asses than lie quite untilled.” . UOWN to ill, jcurtney A gentleman lying on his death-bed, called his coachman, who had beco an old servant, and said, “Ah, Tom, I am going a long and rugged journey, worse than ever you drove me,”—“Oh, dear sir,” replicd the fellow, “let not that discourage you, it is all down hill.”
Some of our reverend gentlemen, who are denominated popular preachers, display great ingenuity in their choice of suitable texts. At an anniversary sermon before the Chelsea pensioners, a discourse was a few days since delivered from the following apposite text:—“Rememberthy Creator in the days of thy youth, before the evil days come, and the days in which thoushalt say, I have no pleasure in them.” A gentleman, who preached a sermon before the society for recovering persons apparently drowned ; selected the following:— “Trouble not yourselves about him, for he is not dead.” For a wedding sermon preached a short time since, at a country town in Shropshire, a reverend gentleman took part of the story of Jepthah's daughter:-" And she went upon the moun
tains and bewailed her virginity.” And a re rend dean, who published a sermon for the beu of the poor clergy in a provincial diocese, prol ly enough selected the following:—“Set on great pot and seeth pottage for the sous of prophets.”
A gentleman enquiring of a nnval officer sailors generally take off their shirts when g into action, was answered, “that they were willing to have any check to fighting.”
PROFESSIONAL DUties MUST BE PERFOR1
An attorney presenting a copy of a writ auctioneer apologised for his unfriendly visi he was merely performing an unpleasant du his profession. “Certainly not,” said the tioneer, “you must attend to the duties of profession and so must I to mine ;” and inst knocked him down.
the citow. N.
A country sculptor was once ordered to er on a tombstone the following words: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husb.
But the stone being small he engraved on i
“A virtuous woman is 5s, to her husban
A MAGISTRATE NO SAILOR.
A sailor who had been making a rio taken before a justice, who ordered him bail. “I have no bail,” said Jack. “ T commit you,” said the justice. “You said the sailor, “then the Lord send you th that stops the wind when the ship's at a new “What do you mean by that " said the “Why,” said Jack, “it’s the hanging roo. yard-arm.”
When death puts out our flame the snuff wi If we were war or tallow by the smell.