THE TATLER. N° 62. THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 1709. Quicquid agunt homines -nostri est farrago libelli.—Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86. Whatever good is done, whatever ill- White's Chocolate-house, August 31. T HIS place being frequented by persons of condition, I am desired to recommend a dog-kennel to any who shall want a pack. It lies not far from Suffolk-street, and is kept by two who were formerly dragoons in the French service; but left plundering for the more orderly life of keeping dogs: besides that, according to their expectation, they find it more profitable, as well as more conducing to the safety of their skin, to follow this trade, than the beat of drum. Their residence is very convenient for the dogs to whelp in, and bring up a right breed to follow the scent. The most eminent of the kennel are blood-hounds, which lead the van, and are as follow: A List of the Dogs. Jowler, of a right Irish breed, called Captain. Rockwood, of French race, with long hair, by the courtesy of England, called alsó Captain. Pompey, a tall hound, kennelled in a convent in France, and knows a rich soil. These two last hunt in couple, and are followed by Ringwood, a French black whelp of the same breed, a fine open-mouthed dog; and an old sick hound always in 'kennel, but of the true blood, with a good nose, French breed. There is also an Italian grey hound, with good legs, and knows perfectly the ground from Ghent to Paris. VOL. II B Ten setting dogs, right English. These curs are so extremely hungry, that they are too keen at the sport, and worry their game before the keepers can come in. The other day a wild boar from the north rushed into the kennel, and at first, indeed, defended himself against the whole pack; but they proved at last too many for him, and tore twenty-five pounds of flesh from off his back, with which they filled their bellies, and made so great a noise in the neighbourhood, that the keepers are obliged to hasten the sale. That quarter of the town where they are kennelled is generally inhabited by strangers, whose blood the hounds have often sucked in such a manner, that many a German count, and other virtuosi, who came from the continent, have lost the intention of their travels, and been unable to proceed on their journey. If these hounds are not very soon disposed of to some good purchaser, as also those at the kennels nearer St. James's, it is humbly proposed, that they may be altogether transported to America, where the dogs are few, and the wild beasts many; or that, during their stay in these parts, some eminent justice of the peace may have it in particular direction to visit their harbours; and that the sheriff of Middlesex may allow him the assistance of the com→ mon hangman to cut off their ears, or part of them, for distinction-sake, that we'may know the blood-hounds from the mongrels and setters. Until these things are regulated, you may inquire at a house belonging to Paris, at the upper-end of Suffolk-street, or a house belonging to Ghent, opposite to the lower end of Pall-mall, and know farther. It were to be wished that these curs were disposed of; for it is a very great nuisance to have them tolerated in cities. That of London takes care, that the " common hunt," assisted by the serjeants and bailiffs, expel them whenever they are found within the walls; though it is said some private families keep them, to the destruction of their neighbours but it is desired, that all who know any of these curs, or have been bit by them, would send me their marks, and the houses where they are harboured; and I do not doubt but I shall alarm the people so well, as to have them used like mad dogs wherever they appear. In the mean time, I advise all such as entertain this kind of vermin, that if they give me timely notice that their dogs are dismissed, I shall let them go unregarded; otherwise am obliged to admonish my fellow-subjects in this behalf, and instruct them how to avoid being worried, when they are going about their lawful professions and callings, There was lately a young gentleman bit to the bone; who has now indeed recovered his health, but is as lean as a skeleton. It grieved my heart to see a gentleman's son run among the hounds; but he is, they tell me, as fleet and as dangerous as the best of the pack. 66 Will's Coffee-house, August 31. This evening was spent at our table in discourse of propriety of words and thoughts, which is Mr. Dryden's definition of wit; but a very odd fellow, who would intrude upon us, and has a briskness of imagination more like madness than regular thoughts, said, that “ Harry Jacks was the first who told him of the taking of the citadel of Tournay; and," says he, "Harry deserves a statue more than the boy who ran to the senate with a thorn in his foot, to tell of a victory." We were astonished at the assertion, and Spondee asked him, "What affinity is there between that boy and Harry, that you say their merit has so near a resemblance as you just now told us?" "Why," says he, Harry, you know, is in the French interest; and it was more pain to him to tell the story of Tournay, than to the boy to run upon a thorn to relate the victory which he was glad of." The gentleman, who was in the chair upon the subject of propriety of words and thoughts, would by no means allow, that there was wit in his comparison; and urged, that "to have any thing gracefully said, it must be natural; but that whatsoever was introduced in common discourse with so much premeditation was insufferable." That critic went on: "Had Mr. Jacks," said he, "told him the citadel was taken, and another had answered, He deserves a statue as well as the Roman boy, for he told it with as much pain," it might have passed for a sprightly expression; but there is a wit for discourse, and a wit for writing. The easiness and familiarity of the first is not to savour in the least of study; but the exactness of the other is to admit of something like the freedom of discourse, especially in treatises of humanity, and what regards the belles lettres. I do not in this allow, that Bickerstaff's Tatlers, or discourses of wit by retail, and for the penny, should come within the description of writing." I bowed at this compliment, and-But he would not let me proceed, You see in no place of conversation the perfection of speech so much as in an accomplished woman. Whether it be, that there is a partiality irresistible when we judge of that sex, or whatever it is, you may observe a wonderful freedom in their utterance, and an easy flow of words, without being distracted (as we often are who read much) in the choice of dictions and phrases; my Lady Courtly is an instance of this. She was talking the other day of dress, and did it with so excellent an air and gesture, that you would have sworn she had learned her action from our Demosthenes. Besides which, her words were so peculiarly well adapted to the matter she talked of, that though dress was a new thing to us men, she avoided the terms of art in it, and described an unaffected garb and manner, in so proper terms, that she came up to that of Horace's 'simplex munditiis;' which whoever can translate in two words, has as much eloquence as Lady Courtly. I took the liberty to tell her, that "all she had said with so much good grace, was spoken in two words in Horace; but would not undertake to translate them :" upon which she smiled, and told me, "she believed me a very great scholar;" and I took my leave. From my own Apartment, August 31. I have been just now reading the introduction to the history of Catiline, by Sallust, an author who is very much in my favour; but when I reflect upon his professing himself wholly disinterested, and at the same time see how industriously he has avoided saying any thing to the praise of Cicero, to whose vigilance the commonwealth owed its safety, it very much lessens my esteem for that writer; and is one argument amongst others, for laughing at all who pretend to be out of the interests of the world, and profess purely to act for the service of mankind, without the least regard to themselves. I do not deny but that the rewards are different; some aim at riches, others at honour, by their public services. However, they are all pursuing some end to themselves, though indeed those ends differ as much as right and wrong. The most graceful way then, I should think, would be to acknowledge, that you aim at serving yourselves: but at the same time make it appear, it is for the service of others that you have these opportunities. Of all the disinterested professors I have ever heard of, I take the boatswain of Dampier's ship to be the most impudent, but the most excusable. You are to know that, in the wild searches that navigator was making, they happened to be out at sea, far distant from any shore, in want of all the necessaries of life; insomuch that they began to look, not without hunger, on each other. The boatswain was a fat, healthy, fresh fellow, and attracted the eyes of the whole crew. In such an extreme necessity, all forms of superiority were laid aside: the captain and lieutenant were safe only by being carrion, and the unhappy boatswain in danger only by being worth eating. To be short, the company were unanimous, and the boatswain must be cut up. He saw their intention, and desired he might speak a few words before they proceeded; which being permitted, he delivered himself as follows: “GENTLEMEN SAILORS, "Far be it that I should speak it for any private interest of my own; but I take it that I should not die with a good conscience, if I'did not confess to you, that I am not sound. I say, gentlemen, justice, and the testimony of a good conscience, as well as love of my country, to which I hope you will all return, oblige me to own, that black Kate at Deptford has made me very unsafe to eat; and, I speak it with shame, I am afraid, gentlemen, I should poison you." This speech had a good effect in the boatswain's favour; but the surgeon of the ship protested he had cured him very well, and offered to eat the first steak of him himself. The boatswain replied like an orator, with a true notion of the people, and in hopes to gain time, that "he was heartily glad if he could be for their service;" and thanked the surgeon for his information. "However," said he, “I must inform you for your own good, that I have, ever since |