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the like necessity with him of seeking a reinedy in the ocean. Adieu!
LEANDER.' Imagine Clelia guilty; and then imagine her confusion. To rail was insignificant, and to blame her physician was absurd, when she found herself under a necessity of pursuing his advice. The whole society was made acquainted with the journey she was undertaking, and the causes of it. It were uncharitable to suppose the whole community under the same constraint with the unhappy Clelia. However, the greater part thought it decent to attend her. Soine went as her companions, some for exercise, some for amusement, and the abbess herself as guardian of her train, and concerned in her society's misfortunes.
What use Leander made of this discovery is not known. Perhaps when he had been successful in banishing the hypocrite, he did not sbew himself very solicitous in his endeavours to reform the sinner. N. B. Written when I went to be dipped in the salt water.
ON VANITY. History preserves the memory of empires and of states, with which it necessarily interweaves that of heroes, kings, and statesmen. Biography affords a place to the remarkable characters of private men. There are likewise other subordinate testimonies, which serve to perpetuate, at least prolong, the memories of men, whose characters and stations give them no claim to a place in story. For instance, when a person fails of making that figure in the world which he makes in the eyes of his own rela
tions or himself, he is rarely dignified any farther than with his picture whilst he is living, or with an inscription upon his monument after his decease.. Inscriptions have been so fallacious, that we begin to expect little from them beside elegance of style. To inveigh against the writers, for their manifest want of truth, were as absurd as to censure Homer for the beauties of an imaginary character. - But even paintings, in order to gratify the vanity of the person who bespeaks them, are taught now-a-days, to flatter, like epitaphs.
Falsehoods upon a tomb or monument may be intitled to some excuse in the affection, the gratitude, and piety, of surviving friends. Even grief itself disposes us to magnify the virtues of a relation, as visible objects also appear larger through tears. But the man who through an idle vanity suffers his features to be belied or exchanged for others of a more agreeable make, may with great truth be said to lose his property in the portrait. In like manner, if he encourage the painter to belie his dress, he seems to transfer his claim to the man with whose station his assumed trappings are connected.
I remember a bag-piper, whose physiognomy was so remarkable and familiar to a club he attended, that it was agreed to have his picture placed over their chimney-piece. There was this remarkable in the fellow, that he chose always to go barefoot, tho' he was daily offered a pair of shoes. However, when the painter had been so exact as to oinit this little piece of dress, the fellow offered all be had in the world, the whole produce of three nights' harmony, to have those feet covered in the effigy, which he so much scorned to cover in the original. Perhaps he thought it a disgrace to
his instrument to be eternized in the hands of so much apparent poverty. However, when a person of low station adorns himself with trophies to which he has no pretensions to aspire, he should consider the picture as actually telling a lie to posterity. The absurdity of this is evident, if a person assume to himself a nitre, a blue garter, or a coronet, improperly; but station may be falsified by other decora. tions, as well as these.
But I am driven into this grave discourse, on a subject perhaps not very important, by a real fit of spleen. I this morning saw a fellow drawn in a night-gown of so rich a stuff, that the expense, had he purchased such a one, would more than half have ruined him; and another coxcomb, seated by his painter in a velvet chair, who would have been surprised at the deference paid him, had he been offered a cushion.
AN ADVENTURE.' “Gaudent prænomine molles Auricula"
It is a very convenient piece of knowledge for a person on a journey, to know the compellations with which it is proper to address those he happens to meet by his way. Some accuracy here may be of use to himn who would be well directed either in the length or the tendency of his road; or be freed from any itinerary difficulties incident to those who do not know the country. It may not be indeed, imprudent to accost a passenger with a title superior to what he may appear to claim. This will seldom fail to diffuse a wonderful alacrit, in his counte
nance; and be, perhaps, a method of securing you from any mistake of greater importance. was led into these observations by some solicitudes I lately underwent, on account of my ignorance in these peculiarities. Being somewhat more versed in books than I can pretend to be in the orders of men, it was my fortune to undertake a journey, which I was to perform by means of enquiries. I had pass-, ed a number of miles without any sort of difficulty, by help of the manifold instructions that had been given me on my setting out. At length, being something dubious concerning my way, I met a person whom, from his night cap and several domestic parts of dress, I deemed to be of the neighbourhood. His station of life appeared to me, to be what we call a gentleman-farmer; a sort of subaltern character, in respect of which the world seems not invariably determined. It is, in short, what King Charles the second esteemed the happiest of all stations; superior to the toilsome task and ridiculous dignity of constable; and as much inferior to the intricate practice and invidious decisions of a justice of peace.
Honest man,' said I, be so good as to inform me whether I am in the way to Mirlington?" He replied, with a sort of surliness, that he knew nothing of the matter; and turned away with as much disgust, as tho' I had called him rogue or rascal. I did not readily penetrate the cause of his displeasure, but proceeded on my way, with hopes to find other means of information. The next I met was a young fellow, dressed in all the pride of rural spruceness; beside him, walked a girl, in a dress agreeable to that of her companion. As I presumed him by no means averse to appear considerable in the eyes of his mis
tress, I supposed a compliment' might not be disagreeable; and, enquiring the road to Mirlington, addressed him by the name of “ Honesty.” The fellow, whether to shew his wit before his mistress, or whether he was displeased with my familiarity, I cannot tell, directed me to follow a part of my face (which I was well assured could be no guide to me) and that other parts would follow of consequence. The next I met, appeared, by his look and gait, to stand high in his own opinion. I therefore judged the best way of proceeding was to adapt my phrase to his own ideas, and saluting him by the name of “Sir," desired to obtain some insight into my road. My gentleman, without hesitation, gave me ample instructions for the rest of my journey.
I passed on, musing with myself, why an appellation relative to fortune should be preferred to one founded on merit; when I happened to behold a gentle map examining a sun-dial in his garden. Friend,' said I, will you tell me what o'clock it is?' He made me no sort of answer, and seemed as much dissatisfied with ny openness of temper, as with the confidence I placed in his.--The refusal of an answer, in this case, was not of much importance. I proceeded on my way, and happened to meet a very old woman, whom I determined to accost by the appellation of “ Dame;" and withal wished her a good night. But, alas ! she seemed so little pleased with the manner of my address, that she re: turned me no manner of thanks for my kind wishes as to her repose. It is not clear whether my phrase was faulty, in regard to her dignity, or in respect of her age. But it is very probable she might conclude it an impropriety in respect of both.