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Half English words, with fustian terms among, Much like the burthen of a northern song.
That youth saith Faustus hath a lion seen,
Who from a dicing house comes moneyless,
But when he lost his hair, where had he been,
I doubt me he had seen a lioness.
Cosmus hath more discoursing in his head,
Than Jove, when Pallas issued from his brain,
And still he strives to be delivered,
Of all his thoughts at once, but all in vain:
For as we see at all the playhouse doors,
When ended is the play, the dance and song,
A thousand townsmen, gentlemen, and whores,
Porters and serving-men together throng:
So thoughts of drinking, thriving, wenching, war,
And borrowing money, raging in his mind,
To issue all at once so forward are,
As none at all can perfect passage find.
The false knave Flaccus once a bribe I gave,
The more fool I to bribe so false a knave,
But he gave back my bribe, the more fool he,
That for my folly, did not cozen me.
Thou dogged Cineas hated like a dog,
For still thou grumblest like a mastiff dog,
Compar'st thyself to nothing but a dog,
Thou say'st thou art as weary as a dog,
As angry, sick, and hungry as a dog,
As dull and melancholy as a dog,
As lazy, sleepy, and as idle as a dog ;
But why dost thou compare thee to a dog?
In that, for which all men despise a dog 2
I will compare thee better to a dog.
Thou art as fair and comely as a dog,
Thou art as true and honest as a dog,
Thou art as kind and liberal as a dog,
Thou art as wise and valiant as a dog:
But Cineas I have oft heard thee tell,
Thou art as like thy father as may be,
'Tis like enough, and 'faith I like it well,
But I am glad thou art not like to me.
Geron's mouldy memory corrects,
Old Holinshed our famous chronicler,
With moral rules, and policy collects,
Out of all actions done these fourscore year.
Accounts the time of every old event,
Not from Christ's birth, nor from the Prince's reign,
But from some other famous accident,
Which in men's general notice doth remain.
The siege of Bulogne, and the plagy sweat, The going to saint Quintin's and New-haven, The rising in the North, the frost so great, That cart-wheel prints on Thames' face were seen. The fall of money, and burning of Paul's steeple, The blazing star, and Spaniard's overthrow : By these events notorious to the people, He measures times, and things forepast doth show. But most of all, he chiefly reckons by, A private chance, the death of his curst wife: This is to him the dearest memory, And th' happiest accident of all his life.
When Marcus comes from Mins, he still doth swear
By, come a seven, that all is lost and gone,
But that's not true, for he hath lost his hair
Only for that, he came too much at one.
The fine youth Cyprius is more terse and neat,
Than the new garden of the old Temple is,
And still the newest fashion he doth get,
And with the time doth change from that to this,
He wears a hat now of the flat crown-block,
The treble ruffs, long cloak, and doublet French:
He takes tobacco, and doth wear a lock,
- And wastes more time in dressing than a wench.
WOL. II. * 20
Yet this new-fangled youth, made for these times, Doth above all, praise old Gascoigne's rhymes.
When Cineas comes amongst his friends in morning.
He slyly looks who first his cap doth move:
Him he salutes, the rest so grimly scorning,
As if for ever they had lost his love.
I knowing how it doth the humour fit,
Of this fond gull to be saluted first:
Catch at my cap, but move it not a whit:
Which perceiving he seems for spite to burst.
But Cineas, why expect you more of me,
Than I of you? I am as good a man,
And better too by many a quality,
For vault, and dance, and fence and rhyme I can:
You keep a whore at your own charge men tell me,
Indeed friend (Cineas) therein you excel me.
IN GALLUM. 24.
Gallus hath been this summer-time in Friesland,
And now returned he speaks such warlike words,
As if I could their English understand,
I fear me they would cut my throat like swords.
He talks of counterscarps and casamates,
Of parapets, of curteneys and pallisadoes,
Of flankers, ravelings, gabions he prates,
And of false brayes and sallies and scalados:
But to requite such gulling terms as these,
With words of my profession I reply;
I tell of foorching, vouchers and counterpleas,
Of withernams, essoines, and champarty :
So neither of us understanding either,
We part as wise as when we came together.
Audacious painters have nine worthies made,
But poet Decius more audacious far,
Making his mistress march with men of war,
With title of tenth worthy doth her lade;
Methinks that gull did use his terms as fit,
Which termed his love a giant for her wit.
If Gella's beauty be examined,
She hath a dull dead eye, a saddle nose,
An ill-shaped face, with morphew overspread,
And rotten teeth which she in laughing shows.
Briefly, she is the filthiest wench in town,
Of all that do the art of whoring use;
But when she hath put on her sattin gown,
Her out-lawn apron, and her velvet shoes,
Her green silk stockings, and her petticoat
Of taffeta, with golden fringe a-round;
And is withal perfumed with civet hot,
Which doth her valiant stinking breath confound;
Yet she with these additions is no more,
Then a sweet, filthy, fine, ill-favored whore.