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SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,-
Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown into the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter Bardolph, with the wine.

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins.

Call her in.

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Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage. [Exit Bardolph.]-How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed,
protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of
our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his com-
panions, thither provoked and instigated by his dis-
temper, and forsooth, to search his house for his
wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have of Ford's approach; and, by her invention and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a

buck-basket.

Ford. A buck-basket!

with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell, that ever

offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of fout clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave their master in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but fate, ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Well: on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous rotten bell-wether: next, to be compassed, like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted in their own grease: think of that,

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: Ia man of my kidney,-think of that: that am as was thrown into the ford : I have my belly full of

ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

subject to heat, as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle, to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish wo-glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; man's promise. think of that,-hissing hot,-think of that, master Brook.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine; I must carry her word quickly she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so; and bid her think what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou ?
Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quick. Peace be with you, sir.
[Exit.
Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he
sent me word to stay within: I like his money well.
O here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife. Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And how sped you, sir?

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: Adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, and buck-baskets!--Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will deter-search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cor- make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, nuto her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a con- let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad. tinual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her mination?

¡Exit.

ACT IV.

SCENE 1.-The Street.

Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs. Quickly, and William.

Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou ?

Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently but truly he is very courageous mad, about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school; Look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

How now, sir Hugh? no school to-day?

Will. Forsooth, 1 have forgot.

Eva. It is ki, ke, kod: if you forget your kies, your kes, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Eva. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

SCENE II-A Room in Ford's House.

Enter Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Eva. No; master Slender is let the boys leave to love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not play.

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence. Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head;

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Eva. And what is a stone, William ?
Will. A pebble.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your
only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love,
but in all the accoutrement, complement, and cere-
mony of it. But are you sure of your husband
now?
Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John.
Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford!
what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John.
[Erit Falstaff.

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Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind;

Eva. No, it is lapis; I pray you remember in so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion your prain. will. Lapis.

soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying Peer-out, peer-out! that any madness, I ever

Eva. That is good, William. What is he, Wil-yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and liam, that does lend articles?

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, hæc,

hoc.

Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog;-pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your accusative case?

Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant

you.

Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William ?

Will. O-vocativo, O.

Era. Remember, William, focative is, caret.
Quick. And that's a good root.

Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion; but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon.

Mrs. Ford. I am undone !-the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why then you are utterly ashamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? -Away with him, away with him; better shame than murder.

Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how Eva. What is your genitive case plural, William? should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the Will. Genitive case? basket again?

Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, harum, horum.

Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! -never name her, child, if she be a whore.

Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves, and to call horum :fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish christian creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace.

Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Re-enter Falstaff.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out ere he come?

Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always used to discharge their birding pieces: Creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there, on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such

places, and goes to them by his note: There is no hiding you in the house.

Fal. I'll go out then.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out disguised,Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him?

Mrs. Puge. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: Run up, sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John: mistress Page and I, will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while.

[Exit Falstaff. Mrs. Ford. I would, my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and he talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight. [Exit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
"Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. [Exit.

Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch. [Exit.

1 Serv. Come, come, take it up.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.

Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh

Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again ?-Set down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my wife:You, youth in a basket, come out here!-O, you panderly rascals! there's knot, a ging, a pack, a conspiracy against me: Now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching Page. Why, this passes! Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned. Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

Enter Mrs. Ford.

Ford. So say I too, sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband -I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty.

Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out.Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket.

Page. This passes! Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no man.

Shall. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you.

Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow walnut for his wife's leman. Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.

Mrs. Ford. What hoa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman, down; my husband will come into the chamber.

Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford.

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing. Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down I say.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband ;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter Falstaff in women's clothes, led by Mrs. Page. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Prat, come, give me your hand.

Ford. I'll prat her:Out of my door, you witch, [beats him.] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon! out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit Falstaff.

have killed the poor woman. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-"Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further : Come, gentlemen.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, Shallow, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not: he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee

simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

shamed.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A Room in the Garter Inn.

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us,
Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.
Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come,
And in this shape: When you have brought him
thither,

What shall be done with him? what is your plot?
Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon,

and thus:

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him pub-And three or four more of their growth, we'll dress lickly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and white, period to the jest, should he not be publickly With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads, And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden, As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met, Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once With some diffused song; upon their sight, We two in great amazedness will fly : Then let them all encircle him about, And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel, And fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight; In their so sacred paths he dares to tread, In shape profane.

Enter Host and Bardolph.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and they are going to meet him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce [Exeunt.

them: Come.

SCENE IV.-A Room in Ford's House. Enter Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva. "Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour
In him that was of late an heretick,
As firm as faith.

Page.

[stand,

"Tis well, 'tis well; no more. Be not as extreme in submission,

As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us publick sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.
Ford. There is no better way than that they
spoke of.

Page. How to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight; fie, fie; he'll never come. Eva. You say, he has been thrown into the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; methinks there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when
he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither.
Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne
the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter time, at still midnight,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;
And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle;
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
In a most hideous and dreadful manner: {chain
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know,
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Received, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.
Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device;

Mrs. Ford.

Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And till he tell the truth,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page.

We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit,
The truth being known,
And mock him home to Windsor.
Ford.

The children must

Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them

vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the Finely attired in a robe of white. [fairies,

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that time Shall master Slender steal my Nan away, [Aside. And marry her at Eton.-Go, send to Falstaff straight.

Ford. Nay, I'll to him again, in name of Brook; He'll tell me all his purpose: Sure, he'll come. Mrs. Page. Fear not you that: Go, get us proAnd tricking for our fairies. [perties, Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt Page, Ford, and Evans.

Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford,
Send quickly to sir John, to know his mind.
[Exit Mrs. Ford.
I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave
her.
[Exit.

SCENE V.A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and Simple.

Host. What wouldst thou have, boor? what, thick skin; speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap.

Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down; I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls.

Fal. [above.] How now, mine host?

Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the com- knight; I am undone: fly, run, hue and cry, viling down of thy fat woman; Let her descend, lain! I am undone : bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

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Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no.

Fal. I spake with the old woman about it.
Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir?

Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened

him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, sir?

[Exeunt Host and Bardolph. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozened, and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mistress Quickly.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villainous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had

Fal. To have her, or no Go; say, the woman set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, sir?
Fal. Ay, sir Tike; who more bold?
Sim. I thank your worship I shall make my
master glad with these tidings. [Exit Simple.
Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, sir John:
Was there a wise woman with thee?

Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

Bard. Out, alas, sir! cozenage meer cozenage! Host. Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto.

Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

Host. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest

men.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans.

Eva. Where is mine host?
Host. What is the matter, sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there
is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there
is three cousin germans, that has cozened all the
hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook,
of horses and money. I tell you for good-will,
look you you are wise, and full of gibes and
vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should
be cozened: Fare you well.
[Exit.

Enter Dr. Caius.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre? Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: But it is tell-a me, dat you make great preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat de sourt is know to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go-assist me,

witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed.

[Exeunt.

Ful. Come up into my chamber.
SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Fenton and Host.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all.

[pose,

Fent. Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my purAnd, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your council.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page; Who, mutually, hath answered my affection (So far forth as herself might be her chooser,) Even to my wish: I have a letter from her Of such contents as you will wonder at; The mirth whereof so larded with my matter, That neither, singly, can be manifested, Without the show of both ;-wherein fat Falstaff Hath a great scene: the image of the jest

[Showing the letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host:
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen: [one,
The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented:
Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now thus it rests.

E

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