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Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
Oli. What's the matter?
Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help: I had rather than forty pound, I were at home.
Oli. Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Duke. My gentleman, Cesario?
Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is: -You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby.
Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you:
Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown. Here comes Sir Toby halting; you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did.
Duke. How now, gentleman? How is't with you?
Sir To. That's all one: he has hurt me, and there's an end on't. Sot, didst see Dick surgeon, sot?
Clo. O, he's drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i' the morning.
Sir To. Then he's a rogue and a passy-measures pavin; I hate a drunken rogue.
Oli. Away with him: who hath made this havoc with them? Sir And. I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together.
Sir To. Will you help?- An ass-head, and a cox-comb, and a knave? A thin-faced knave, a gull?
Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be looked to.
Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman ; But had it been the brother of my blood, I must have done no less with wit and safety. You throw a strange regard upon me, and By that I do perceive it hath offended you; Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows We made each other but so late ago.
Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons;
A natural perspective, that is, and is not.
Seb. Antonio! O, my dear Antonio,
Ant. Sebastian are you?
Seb. Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Ant. How have you made division of yourself?— An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
Oli. Most wonderful!
Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother; Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Of here and everywhere. I had a sister, Whom the blind waves and surges have devoured: Of charity, what kin are you to me? [TO VIOLA. What countryman? What name? What parentage? Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father; Such a Sebastian was my brother too. So went he suited to his watery tomb: If spirits can assume both form and suit,
You come to fright us.
A spirit I am, indeed;
Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow,
Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth Had numbered thirteen years.
Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul!
He finished, indeed, his mortal act,
That day that made my sister thirteen years.
Do not embrace me, till each circumstance
I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook :
But nature to her bias drew in that.
Duke. Be not amazed; right noble is his blood.-
Thou never shouldst love woman like to me.
That severs day from night.
A gentleman and follower of my lady's.
Ŏli. He shall enlarge him:fetch Malvolio hither: And yet, alas, now I remember me,
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.
Re-enter Clown, with a letter.
A most extracting frenzy of mine own
Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do; he has here writ a letter to you; I should have given it to you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much when they are delivered.
Oli. Open it, and read it.
Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman.—By the Lord, madam,—
Oli. How now! art thou mad?
Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness; an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox.
Oli. Pr'ythee, read i' thy right wits.
Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear. Oli. Read it you, sirrah. [To FABIAN. Fab. [Reads.] By the Lord, Madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly-used Malvolio.
Oli. Did he write this?
Clo. Ay, madam.
Duke. This savers not much of distraction.
Oli. See him delivered, Fabian; bring him hither.
[Exit FABIAN. My lord, so please you, these things further thought on, To think me as well a sister as a wife,
One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you,
Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your offer.Your master quits you [To VIOLA]; and, for your service
So much against the mettle of your sex,
A sister? You are she.
Duke. Is this the madman?
How now, Malvolio?
Ay, my lord, this same:
Madam, you have done me wrong,
Have I, Malvolio? No.
Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you, peruse that letter: You must not now deny it is your hand: Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase; Or say 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: well, grant it then,
Why you have given me such clear lights of favor;
Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
First told me thou wast mad: then cam'st in smiling,
Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee! Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them. I was one, sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, sir; but that's all one: By the Lord, fool, I am not mad.-But do you remember? Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? An you smile not, he's gagged: And thus the whirligig of Time brings in his revenges.
Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you. [Exit. Ol. He hath been most notoriously abused.